The Quiet and Strong Podcast, Especially for Introverts

Ep 59 - Unleashing the True Potential of Introverts in the Classroom, with Teacher Chrissy Romano Arrabito - Part 1

February 28, 2022 David Hall, M.Ed.
The Quiet and Strong Podcast, Especially for Introverts
Ep 59 - Unleashing the True Potential of Introverts in the Classroom, with Teacher Chrissy Romano Arrabito - Part 1
Show Notes Transcript

The classroom is a place where introverted students may struggle to thrive.

In this episode of the Quiet and Strong podcast, teacher Chrissy Romano Arrabito, author of "Quiet Kids Count: Unleashing the True Potential of Introverts" shares her tips and strategies that will help educators create more inclusive classrooms, foster creativity among introverted students, and help quiet kids reach their true potential.

Guest: Chrissy Romano Arrabito

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David Hall

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Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:00:00]:

Most people out there not educated on what introversion is and how we can help our kids find their strengths and then support their weaknesses and help to, like the book says, unleash their true potential because we are amazing in so many different ways.

David Hall [00:00:26]:

Hello, and welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quietandstrong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced normally. We'll air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform, leave a review, tell a friend, help get the word out there. Chrissy Romano Arabito is a career teacher and is proud of it. She is currently a first grade teacher at Nellie K. Parker elementary School in Heckensack, New Jersey. With over 29 years of experience in education, she graduated from Rutgers University, where she studied sociology and psychology. She went on to complete the teacher certification program and earned a master's degree in counseling from William Patterson University. She's dedicated to teaching the whole child. Her true passion lies in nurturing the quiet kids, those that truly need a champion to support, advocate for them. She's the author of Quiet Kids Count Unleashing the True Potential of Introverts. This is part one of two for this episode. Tune in next week for the second half of this great conversation. All right, well, I am very excited for our guest, Chrissy Romano Arabito. Welcome to the Quiet and Strong Podcast, Chrissy.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:01:51]:

Hey, thank you so much for having me.

David Hall [00:01:54]:

Absolutely. So I've been reading your book, quiet Kids Count Unleashing the True Potential of Introverts, which I'm very excited to get into and ask you some questions about it. But before we do that, tell us about yourself. Tell us about your journey in discovering that you were introvert and your journey to becoming a teacher.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:02:15]:

Oh, boy, where do I start? Yes, I was a quiet kid to some degree, although with people, I guess when I see my friends now that knew me when I was younger, I don't think they were characterizing me as a typical shy, quiet kid because I wasn't really shy. And a lot of my, I guess, quiet tendency, I guess when I say quiet kid, it doesn't necessarily mean the kid that doesn't talk or the kid that's shy.

David Hall [00:02:42]:

Yeah, I think that's an important distinction because introversion doesn't mean shyness extroverts or introverts can be shy. And we definitely talk about that a lot on the show. Like, when I say Quiet and Strong, it just means I spend a lot of time thinking I was a shy kid. I'm not shy anymore, but overcoming shyness for me, was understanding my introversion and a lot of things that we're going to talk about today. So, yeah, I'm really happy that you made that distinction, because being quiet doesn't mean you're shy. It means you might need some time to think that you're thinking all that good stuff. So thanks for making that distinction.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:03:17]:

Yeah, for me, I'm okay with silence. I guess that's the quiet part of me. My son and I can drive in a car and just listen to music and not talk, whereas my daughter can't stop talking. She needs to fill the room. She needs to fill the air. She's uncomfortable with silence. So as a kid, I was a talker, and I was usually one of the first ones to participate and raise their hand and sit in the front. But that was more out of nerves, out of anxiety more than anything else. And that's something that a strategy, actually, that I teach my kids, my quiet kids, over my years of being in the classroom. It's a strategy to overcome that is striking first. So when people look back at me, they're like, Quiet kid. She wasn't shy. She was always talking. She was always participating. But I think that definition of quiet, there's more to it than just being the shy kid. As far as my journey to teaching, I know we talked a little bit before the show. I had no intention of being a teacher. It wasn't even on my radar. I'm the youngest of three and the only girl, and my brothers are significantly older. I was what my parents used to call a change of life baby because they were in their 40s when they had me. I was like, an oops, wow, where did she come from? So my oldest brother was actually already in college on his way to becoming a lawyer. So the thought really was his personality and mine are very similar growing up. I mean, our parents saw that. So he was just like, oh, you'll be a lawyer just like me. And they kind of paved that way for me until I saw him in the courtroom, and I was like, oh, my gosh, I can't do this, and this is not who I am. And I like all the behind the scenes stuff, but I didn't love it. I did it because I felt like this is what my family wanted me to do and the path they wanted me to take, but it wasn't really for me. And when it came down to it, I didn't do well on my LSAT. I struggled to get into law school, and then I was like, I can't do this. This is not me. Which is when I kind of thought, well, what can I do now? And I've always loved kids, and I've always loved working with young kids. And I just got a job in a preschool, and this is after I graduated from college and kind of didn't know what the heck I was doing. So for about a year, I struggled there, but started working at a preschool and working with three and four year olds, and I really enjoyed it. And that's when the director came to me, and she's like, what are you doing? You are totally cut out to do more than this. And she's the one who really pushed me to go back to school and get my teacher certification and early childhood. And that's kind of how I stumbled upon it, which is kind of how I stumbled upon my introversion as well. I didn't really know that I was an introvert. I just knew I had certain personality traits that were not exactly mainstream and people would comment on, why don't you chime into the conversation and, come on, let's go out, let's part. Like, I was never the party type, never a drinker, never into stuff like that. And I would go out with my friends because they forced me to, and then half an hour, an hour in, I'm like, yeah, I'm ready to go. And then I didn't want to do anything for, like, three days after that because I felt like it was exhausting for me. So I had all those traits of introversion, but didn't really know what it was until I stumbled upon something by Susan Cain, who's, like the Queen Mother of Mean, she started The Quiet Revolution, and she wrote the book Quiet and a couple of other books along those lines. So I saw something. It kind of spoke to me, and then I bought her book and I read it, and that's when the light bulb went off, which was only a couple of years ago. When I look back, it was probably maybe only five or six years ago, seven, maybe the most. So I'm 53. So I've lived most of my life not truly understanding who I am and what makes me tick, so to speak. But it was a huge light bulb for me that I really started to understand why I am the way I am and to embrace it. Because there's a lot of people out there, they know who they are, but then they try to change themselves or try to ignore who they really are and try to be something that they're not. So for me, once I really understood it, it was a huge light bulb moment, and it made me think back to my relationships with my friends. And at that point, I was already divorced from my first husband, well into a marriage with my second husband. We're married almost 20 years now. But just thinking about all the dynamics of all my relationships and a lot of stuff just started to fall into place and to really click and help me understand. And once I did, I totally fully embraced my introversion and stopped making excuses or trying to be something that I'm not, and I'm just a much fuller person than I was before.

David Hall [00:08:45]:

That's excellent. And it sounds like that there was a lot of things you understood for most of your life, but you still couldn't put a name on it from talking with you before and now, there was a lot of things you were doing in the classroom. There was a lot of things you were doing with yourself, but you mentioned quiet was one of the things that really helped you put a name on it. And again, we're all different, but if we could understand how we work and we'll both say this is a very natural way of being, and it's there to embrace and not to try to change yourself, because I know I've tried to do that. I've tried to be something I wasn't. It didn't work out very well. It's often very draining to try to be something you're not. And it's also exhausting. Yeah, it's exhausting, and it's not very effective. But when you understand who you are, what you need, what your strengths are, you can really excel at what you're doing. And I love that you're doing this in the classroom, because, again, if kids can feel early on that they have great strengths, but they also have needs, that's amazing because there's so many kids that and I was a quiet kid, too, like I was saying. And there's so many kids that don't understand who they are. They're not reaching their potential, and they feel bad about themselves often. So, again, I'm excited to get into the book here.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:10:12]:

So that was actually one of the reasons why I wrote the book in the first place, because I didn't recognize until much later in life that I am an introvert, but I really wrote it for my son. And that's where the whole inspiration came from, was that he different kind of an introvert than I am. He definitely is a shy introvert, extremely quiet, always was. From a little boy, from a child, from a toddler, even. And as I saw him grow up and start preschool and then go to school, elementary school and so on, I really noticed that. We saw the wonderful Christopher, that everything, his full range of who he was at home, but when he was out in public and at school, not everybody saw that, and they did try to change him. And the comments from teachers during parent teacher conferences are on report cards, and he needs to participate more, and he needs to talk more in class, and all sorts of things that I at one point was guilty of writing those things as a teacher. And those of you that are listening that have kids that are introverts and maybe you're not, and you hear those things, it's common. It's a common thread that we hear when you see these shy, quiet kids. They have to talk more, participate more. So I felt like I wanted people to understand him better. Not just him, but all the quiet kids out there. And that was really my whole inspiration behind writing the book. It wasn't to and a lot of people, you know, you want to make trust me, you don't make money writing books. You really don't. Unless you're like J. K. Rowling and Stephen King. You're not in it for the it's. It's one of these things that I feel like every teacher should have. It's a book that every teacher should have. Parents of introverted kids should read it to help them understand their kids. Yeah. I mean, I appreciate you when you reached out and you were like, I love your book. I was like, awesome. Somebody's reading it. Somebody's getting something out of it and putting it out there for more people to learn. I think that's really the thing is most people out there are not educated on what introversion is and how we can help our kids find their strengths and then support their weaknesses and help to, like the book says, unleash their true potential because we are amazing in so many different ways.

David Hall [00:12:59]:

Yeah. While I was reading it, I was thinking pretty much anybody could benefit from this book because it's definitely for teachers, both introverted and extroverted teachers. And you've got some strategies at the end of each chapter which are amazing. You have some different activities that can be done in the classroom, and we're going to get more into this. But even as adults, I'm not a teacher. There's things that you can get understanding yourself, your kids, or in my book my sister read my book, she's an extrovert, but she says, man, this helped me understand the introverts in my life. She has introverted children, so I think it's for everybody. And so hopefully we'll get some more books out in the hands of people.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:13:49]:

That'd be great.

David Hall [00:13:51]:

So this show is definitely about talking about strengths and needs of introverts, some strategies for success, but also I like to bust a myth or two each episode. So is there a myth or two that you want to bust about introversion?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:14:08]:

Yeah, well, there's a few, but I'm just going to pick, I guess, the top two. So one that I hear a lot is that introverts don't like to talk or that they're shy, and that's really a myth. The shyness is usually situational. From what I've seen in my experience, not only me and my family members, my son, but just I've been a teacher now for almost 30 years, and I've seen it in every classroom. Situation. When introverts are comfortable, the shyness goes away. When introverts are talking about something they're interested in, they can talk a blue streak. And I've seen that across the board. Again, it's situational, and I think that people have to recognize that. But I think the biggest myth that I like to dispel is this idea that we're broken, that there's something wrong with us, that we need to be fixed. And you mentioned it earlier, and I don't remember if it was before we clicked record or not.

David Hall [00:15:07]:

Right.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:15:08]:

But that introverts should come out of their shell. Like I said, we need to be fixed or there's something wrong with us. And I think that's something that is important for people to understand that this is the way we're wired. Really, if you study the science behind it, it has to do with our neural pathways and the way we react to stimuli. And it's not by choice. I mean, this is really who we are and how we were born and how we relate to the world around us, which is a very outrageous and noisy world. So trying to find a place for us quiet people to fit in can be tricky. So accept us for who we are. Don't try to change who we are just because we're quiet or maybe introspective and observant and good listeners. Those are all fantastic strengths and shouldn't be seen as weaknesses. And if there's one thing I can implore to teachers and parents in particular with your introverted students and children, is just accept them for who they are and help them grow and grow into more confident children and teach them how to embrace their strengths. Not to ignore their weaknesses because everybody has them, but point them out in a nice way, in a nurturing way and then give them strategies to build upon those so they're a little bit more balanced. And that's one of the things I liked about the structure of this book when I started working with Mark Barnes in Times Ten was that not only did I call attention to what introverts are really like, but I put strategies in here and actual actionable things that you can do as an adult, as a child, as a parent, as a teacher to help better understand what introverts are all about.

David Hall [00:17:23]:

I love that and it's just like you said, we're wired differently. But there's such great power in that because we are deep thinkers. We need some time to think. And that was a big epiphany for me is just realizing, you know what, I'm never going to just talk nonstop because I'm going to take the time to think and some people are talking nonstop around me and that's okay. They have great strengths. I have great strengths, but mine aren't going to change because as we're talking about, it's very natural and that's leading into what I was going to ask you next anyway. So what would you say is a strength or superpower of yours as an introvert?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:18:09]:

Two things kind of come to mind is I'm a good listener. I just kind of sit back and take it in. Whereas I see with some of my extroverted friends, they'll listen to a piece of what you're saying and then they'll kind of jump in trying to want to solve the problem or offer their two cent where I'll just sit back and listen. Oftentimes where people are like, hello, are you still there? Did you nod off or you're with me? And I'm like, yeah, I'm just kind of taking it all in. And then I guess the other one is being very observant. So not only being a good listener, but I pay attention to, I guess, a lot of the details in things. And as a teacher, especially with young children, I'm working with first graders now. It helps to just stop and observe and just sit back and watch and, you know, see how kids interact with other kids and kind of lean in and listen to their conversations when they're working together, when they're having breakfast, you know, when when they're working in a center together with one another. And then just kind of sit back and watch the kids that sometimes choose to when they have options to choose to work alone, or kids that repeatedly ask to use the restroom kind of at the same time every day. And then when you sit back at some point in time and have a conversation with them, you figure it out. They really just need a break to get out of the classroom. They just need a minute to themselves. So I think being a good listener, listening when people are talking and kind of seeing what they're really saying, not just on the surface, but kind of paying attention to everything and just being observant, I think those are two strengths that I've recognized over the years that has definitely helped me as a friend, as a partner, like, as a spouse and as a partner and a teacher, a parent, and kind of all aspects of my life.

David Hall [00:20:11]:

Yeah. Are there other strengths, maybe a strength or two that you've seen in your students that they get from their introversion?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:20:20]:

Yeah, I think a lot of my introverted kids tend to be really creative in all different ways. So with my little like my younger kids, like when they're playing with Play DOH or they're building with Legos, when they have some quiet time to themselves, some of the things that they come up with are amazing. And then the stories behind what it is and they'll come up and say, Look, I made this. And then they'll kind of just go on and on with a story or their artwork, like creative in that way. And a lot of it is because there's attention to detail, which is that observant piece, kind of I guess that when they tell a story, it's not just like an overview. They really go into detail with all the little things that are happening and what they're saying to each other and where the story takes place. And I can't wait to see them because they're little now where they can't really write all that stuff down. Like if they had a microphone, they could definitely tell the story. They're good storytellers, but I would love to see how that translates when some of these kids get older and they're actually able to put all of their creativity on paper, so to speak. And then that attention to detail I've noticed that as well, that kids that find patterns in math, like things or ways of solving problems that I would not necessarily think of, or the average person, the obvious answer. They kind of sometimes always find things that are a little deeper, a little more hidden, and you're like, oh, wow, I never thought of that one. Because it wasn't the obvious one. But of course it's a great way to solve the problem or to add to the conversation. But I think that all goes back to being really observant and attention to detail. And it's funny, when I wrote my book, that's one of the things that when the editor did the first pass, she was like, wow, you give a lot of detail already. I said, yeah. Who I am.

David Hall [00:22:19]:

Yeah, I'm glad that you did. Kind of a little contrast because we're not all the same introverts, but the fact that we think and think deeply, there's a lot of great strengths that come from it, but no two introverts are going to be exactly the same. We share in common that the love of ideas and the time we need to go inward, that kind of thing. So how do you help students understand that they have strengths where somebody else might not might not see who they are as having strengths?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:22:55]:

So I think a lot of that is just from connecting with kids and building relationships with them. That's the start, having conversations with them. One of the things, like in the district that I work in, that I have worked in for now over 20 years, the kids get free breakfast in the morning. So that gives an opportunity for them to kind of come in and unwind. And we get off to and I've always done this throughout the years a soft start to the day. So I'm not one of those teachers that you got morning work sitting on your desk waiting for you. My kids come in, they eat breakfast, some of them color, some of them watch videos, some of them pull out the Legos. Some of them just sit and talk with their friends for a good, like 25 minutes before we actually jump into like, all right, let's start our day. So that's my opportunity. Once I take attendance and do lunch count and all that housekeeping stuff, I go around and I sit with them and I just talk with them or sometimes just listen in and kind of get a feel for how they interact or the dynamics between kids. And that's when I'm able to start building connections with them. And then it grows from there. And once kids get to know you and trust you, you can offer that feedback. And that's one of the things I always do. So like I said before, if somebody comes up with an answer that's not one of the obvious ones, I'll say that like, wow, that's great. You really took your time thinking about that. And that's amazing that you went into this direction or you saw this and pointing things out. I've always been a fan of literature, so I'm a bookworm. I always have my nose in a book, always have since I was a kid. Getting lost in other worlds and reading it was my escape. And that's one of the things I bring into my classroom. Even when I was a middle school English teacher, I made a point of making sure the protagonists in our books, the main characters, had different sorts of strengths as well. So I would pick on books where sometimes the main character was an introvert. They wouldn't call it an introvert, but you could see just from the traits that they were a different sort of character. And I do that also with my younger students, with the picture books that I choose. So every year I always read. There's one in particular that I love called The Invisible Boy, and it's about this quiet little boy that kind of is treated as if he's ignored, as if he is invisible because he's this quiet, introverted little student until he starts working with other kids in the class on a project. And the other kids are like, wow, he knows things and he sees things differently and he's creative, and then they start to see him for who he really is and the strengths that he brings to the table. So I try to use literature, definitely praising kids for taking their time. That's one of those things. And I know we're going to talk about that later, this whole concept of wait time, but the kids that are blurting out answers, I'm like, yeah, that's great. Yeah, absolutely awesome. I said, but let's give other people a chance. And we sit and we wait. And then the hands start to pop up or you see some like the light bulb will go on and you call on a student and then they have something to share and you're like, wow, that's great. And I saw that it took you a little bit more time to come up with that answer. And that's something we all need to start to do, is to think a little bit before we rush to respond. That sort of stuff, I think, helps build confidence and point out the strengths.

David Hall [00:26:35]:

Yeah. And the connection piece, when I was reading your book, that just hit me, and I think you talked about that it was something over time, you learned to invest more time into that. You realized how important it was.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:26:51]:

Yeah. So for me and I always catch black for this from administrators. I always have. And I don't care, because I find that it's so important is that the first three weeks of school I really focus on building relationships in the classroom. Not just with me and the kids, the kids with each other. Building relationships with families, with parents, with siblings. And we do a lot of work around that, and especially when you're teaching younger grades. K twelve. And even back when I was in pre K, you're not just teaching the kid, you really become a part of the family to some degree, and you have to build relationships with them because they're part of the team, the learning team. I say that all the time. It's the parents, the kids and me as the teacher. We're all working together to help your child be successful in school. So people have I've always had comments, well, when are you diving in? Like, why didn't you start this yet? I go, I'll get there. I'll get there. Trust me. When kids like you, they're going to want to learn from you. When you have relationships with kids and you can read them and they can read you, and you kind of pay attention to the little nuances of their personalities and their moods and their emotions, it'll get you further down the road if you take the time and invest the time in that at the beginning of the year. And it's been successful for me, and then eventually my kids listen. Not to say that every single kid is a rock star across the board. That's not always the case. But I do start to see, like, once January rolls around, it's like, boy, they're cooking with steam. They're really picking up on things. And we're really ready to take off, usually right after Christmas break, because I spent so much time building that foundation with them.

David Hall [00:28:43]:

Yeah. And again, that's amazing. A myth I want to bust is especially over the pandemic. People talk about, oh, well, introverts, they're fine alone, but we all need connection, period. Introverts, extroverts. We all need people. We're humans. It can definitely look different. But again, when I was reading your book, I just love how you made a point that you were investing time in that connection and building that relationship and helping to get to know that child. And that's just really important. So you're definitely doing some great work there.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:29:19]:

Thank you. I try. Also, I think part of that is the counselor in me. I do have a master's in counseling.

David Hall [00:29:25]:

Yeah.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:29:25]:

So I don't always wear the teacher hat, but I'm a mom of two kids, one being an introvert and then also that counselor piece. So I kind of wear a lot of different hats throughout the day in the classroom in an effort to better serve the kids and the families that we work with.

David Hall [00:29:47]:

Yeah. So you were just talking about in the book, you call it wait time. You were just talking about this. So often people are afraid of silence. A teacher asks a question, and it's expected that you just answer right away. And if nobody answers, then the teacher just starts talking. You know, definitely for introverts, we need a little bit of.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:30:10]:

Do.

David Hall [00:30:11]:

What's your strategy there?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:30:12]:

So I. Learned about way, way back. I mean, I think that was like a Harry Wong thing way back when I was first starting teaching. But I feel that he used to always say, I don't know, something like 10 seconds, 20 seconds, 30 seconds. I don't think that's even long enough. So what I've tried to do for a long time now, I mean, well over 1520 years in the classroom, we don't raise hands in the traditional sense in my classroom. So depending on what I'm teaching, middle school or little kids sometimes, so I'll pose a question, or if we're doing I teach everything right as a first grade teacher science, math, reading, writing, all of it. So depending on what it is, whatever prompt it is I'm trying to elicit a response from, I'll either ask the question or pose the math problem. And then my kids don't raise their hands. They either put a hand on their shoulder when they're ready to respond, or they put a hand on their head or they give me a thumbs up or I don't know. We come up with different signals, silent signals, really. But there's always that wait time, because, like I mentioned before, I'm totally cool with silence. It does not freak me out. I don't feel like I have to constantly fill time with words. And my kids learn that pretty quickly. And the kids that are ready to respond and blurt out answers, we work on those kids really fast, and those are the ones that and there's always two or three in a class that you have to take aside. Usually I'll invite them in for lunch, and I'll say, Lunch with the teacher, and let's come and sit. And so the two or three of us sit together, and we talk about how they're always quick to respond. But there's other kids that want a little bit more time or need a little bit more time to think, and we want to be fair to them as well. Because one of the things, like I mentioned before, like introverts aren't broken, neither are extroverts. But we do live in an extroverted world. So my philosophy is sometimes you need to stop and teach the extroverts how to be more respectful of the introverts in the room. It shouldn't always be the other way around. The quiet kids should not always try to feel like they need to fit in with the extroverted world. Sometimes those extroverts need to take it down a notch, hold their tongue from time to time and leave space. Not always take up all the space in the room, but leave some space for those quiet kids to feel like there's a place for them. So that's something I do without fail every year. So the idea of wait time is you definitely oppose your question and you wait. And if you're uncomfortable with the silence, you need to just figure it out, and you need to become comfortable with the silence and tell the kids, I'm going to give everybody a minute here's. A minute, solid minute. And a minute is a whole lot longer than you think. And when you think you have the answer, think a little bit more and maybe you can add a little something to that. And when you think you're ready to respond, again, put your hand on your head, tug your ear, put your finger on your nose, depending again what grade level you're teaching. With little kids, we make it fun. With older kids, it's usually hand on a shoulder, hand on a head. I don't know, thumbs up on your desk, something because they don't want to look silly. They're not cool with that yet. And then the other thing is, I use something called rehearsal mats that are think mats. I'm sorry, it's part of this rehearsal time, really, which all fits into this wait time. But think mats where kids either have a whiteboard in front of them or a piece of paper where they have the opportunity. As they're formulating their response, they're jotting down their notes. With the little kids, we use a whiteboard so they're able to jot whatever it is down. And then I say, okay, when you're ready, again, put your hand on your head, thumbs up, or hold up your whiteboard or whatever. And then they have the opportunity to share. And there it is. It's all right in front of them, the younger they are. Sometimes it's pictures, sometimes it's symbols, sometimes it's short sentences, but words, but something where they have the opportunity to gather their thinking before they have to blurt out a response. Does that answer your question? I think that's what it was, right?

David Hall [00:34:20]:

Yeah. That's great. And that's part of this whole thing. Some episodes I have guests, some I do on my own. And the solo episodes, guess what? I write them out. I get my thoughts out there, and that's so important. And we were talking a little bit before the show about participation and how there's so much weight on that and how it's misunderstood sometimes. I know I had that in college. There were points for participation, and often I wasn't ready to participate. And I learned in college, I learned that if I actually read the book ahead of time and that kind of thing, that I could do really well and participate. And you said you had a strategy where you spoke first and that kind of thing. Now, I know this may be different for first graders, but how do you help them realize, hey, you need to prepare? And I think you demonstrated one strategy already where you talk about how they could write their thoughts out first. But how do you teach them at a young age that preparation is part of their key to success?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:35:34]:

A lot of it is just the idea of rehearsing and practicing lots of little things. So we use whisper voices in first grade. So before they have to maybe share a response with the class, they use their whisper voice and they talk to themselves and they just kind of whisper out the answer to kind of see how it sounds. Like that they can get the words out. We do have whisper phones where there's these little phones that the kids put up to their ear and as they talk into it, they can hear their own voice. So we use Seesaw, which is a platform that a lot of people now because of the pandemic, they were like, wow, Seesaw is fantastic. But it's an opportunity for kids to share their thinking and share their learning in different ways. And one of them has them taking little selfie videos where they use the microphone and the little video camera. But I always tell them, you need to practice first. So we do that. We have little mirrors in the classroom where they hold up the mirror. They make sure they can see themselves in the mirror. They go over there and they're able to practice responding or telling the story, whatever it is, explaining their math problem or telling the story. Again, this is for little kids. So I guess the whisper voice and even turning and practicing with a partner. So it's not always that kids feel that they're like nerve wracked before they talk in front of a whole group. Yeah, that's the case. But sometimes they're okay turning and talking to each other or even turning to the teacher. So I do a lot of I just walk around and kind of put my ear in, and sometimes I say, so just say the answer out loud. And I'll walk around and I'll listen. And then I'm able to pull things out and say that I heard this and I heard this and I heard this. And the kids know it's something that they said, but you're not calling their name. They're not calling out loud. Very different than what you see, like in middle school and high school and even college. I mean, it's amazing how I don't know the crazy different strategy you can do with little kids because there's really not a lot of self consciousness at that age. And they're okay just sitting there, like, talking to themselves and saying something out loud. And they don't think it's weird or awkward because it's the culture you create in the classroom. So I'll say, okay, turn and talk to your buddy. What did you think of this answer? Or what would you do in this situation? Or how would you solve this math problem? And then they talk to each other and I walk around and I listen in, and then I pull things out and then share as a whole group as opposed to everything being a whole group all the time. The other thing is, when we teach little kids is we do a lot of small group instruction there's very few things that we do as a whole group. So while I'm working with three or four kids in front of me at a table, the rest of them are doing other activities. So in that case it's a whole lot easier. Kids are way more comfortable talking to me with just three other kids there than they are in front of a group of 20. So I've shifted most of my instruction to small group. So when we're sitting there it's like you see a whole nother side of the kid than you would if they were sitting in a group of 20.

David Hall [00:38:46]:

Yeah, the dynamics are very interesting. And as an adult professional, you have to also figure out, okay, what works for me in this situation. Is it a one on one conversation? Is that the best for this or is it a small group or would the large group be I mean those are lessons know we all need, but we have different definitely preferences being an introvert or extrovert and that's great. Thank you so much for joining me for part one of two with this amazing teacher, Chrissy Romano Arabito. Join us next week for part two. I look forward to further connecting with you. Reach out@quietandstrong.com or email me at david@quietandstrong.com. I'll add social media channels for me and my guests to the show notes. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. There's so many great things about being an introvert and we need those to be understood. We need to have conversations about the strengths and needs of introverts, get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be stronger.