Ep 60 - Unleashing the True Potential of Introverts in the Classroom, with Teacher Chrissy Romano Arrabito - Part 2

Be sure to listen to Episode 59 - part 1 of this interview first if you missed it.

The classroom is a place where introverted students may struggle to thrive.

In part 2 of my interview with teacher Chrissy Romano Arrabito, author of "Quiet Kids Count: Unleashing the True Potential of Introverts," she shares more tips and strategies that will help teachers and parents connect with introverted kids, and help them connect to others, learn to express themselves, and thrive in the world around them.

Guest: Chrissy Romano Arrabito

Contact Chrissy:

Facebook Chrissy Romano Arrabito
Twitter @TheConnectedEdu
IG @chrissy_lives4chocolate

And be sure to pick up a copy of her book - a MUST READ for classroom teachers of any grade level as well as parents or family members of quiet children:
 
Get Chrissy's book on Amazon - Quiet Kids Count: Unleashing the True Potential of Introverts

- - -

Contact the Host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com
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david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Transcript

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:00:00]:

If you're an introvert, understand what you are all about and embrace that and learn to love that part of who you are so that you can love it in your kids and not want to change them and extroverts the same thing. Learn whatever you can about introversion and really see your kids for who they are and help build them up and help focus on their strengths and help support their weaknesses and help them understand that are wonderful the way that they are, despite what society may say and advocate for them and be their cheerleader.

David Hall [00:00:40]:

Hello and welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quietandstrong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced normally. We'll air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform, leave a review, tell a friend, help get the word out there. We started a great conversation last week with Chrissy Romano, Arabito teacher and author of Quiet Kids Count Unleashing the True Potential of Introverts. Her book is full of information and strategies to help introverts engage in the classroom. I highly recommend this book for anyone parents, teachers, adults, whether introverts or extroverts. Let's continue the conversation. Now, something else that struck me in the book you talked about compliance and engagement, and often our system is built around compliance and rewarding that, but you're saying what you really want is that engagement. And then the second part of the question is what does engagement look like for an introvert and an extrovert?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:01:50]:

So I guess the idea for people just to understand the difference between compliance and engagement, I guess in my mind, compliance, you're just checking off the boxes. You're doing it because you have to do it. You're doing it because it's going to get you the A, it's going to get you the better grade. It's because Mommy told me to, it's because dad said if you don't, you're getting detention, you're getting grounded, or that sort of thing. I mean, that's the way I was raised, to be honest. I went to Catholic school, kindergarten through twelveTH, and I was raised being compliant, and I was pretty damn good at that. You give me a checklist that I will do everything and check off every box. Not because I love it, because my heart's in it, because I want to do it. It's because I felt like I need to, I have to. Introverts are really good at that, checking off those boxes to do what we need to do. We tend to be organized and ritualized and use routine. It's a comfort for a lot of us. But engagement is really doing things because your heart's in it, because you want to do it, because you're so excited about it. So yeah, there are definitely things that in a classroom, kids have to do. You have to make sure they're doing it. That's the compliance piece. And listen, it's a part of life. We all have to live with that. It's not the best, but it's just what you have to do. But I try to give kids the opportunity to be more engaged in learning and trying to make it a little more fun. And it's different depending on what I'm teaching and what grade level I'm in. But I try to bring trendy things things are happening in the real world into the classroom to make it more exciting. I mean, I remember back when flipping bottles was a thing and when I was in fourth grade, teaching ratios in math and things like that, we did a whole contest like that. So trying to bring a little bit of current life in, like now. Little kids love those little poppets. Oh, they drive me insane. I personally can't stand them. But when you're trying to teach kids how to read and how to break down words and syllables and phonemes, they need to be able to break those things down. So we use little poppets. And I got to tell you, they are extremely engaged using game boards, turning things, learning into a game where they're rolling a dice or spinning a spinner and moving little pieces on the board. They're learning. They're doing all the things they have to do to be compliant and to hit those checklists, but they're doing it in a more engaging way. So what does it look like for an extrovert? Usually it's the I have the raising their hands. They're usually loud. They're jumping in. They're blurting out. They're controlling the small group. They want to be the leader. They're the ones that has their hands in everything all the time. Introverts, it's a little bit different. They make awesome leaders. I've had many people throughout my years in education say, why did you not go on to be an administrator? Why are you not taking a bigger leadership role? And it's just, first of all, I like working with kids, and I have zero patience for adults. Really? That's what it really comes down to.

David Hall [00:04:52]:

Yeah, that's great.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:04:54]:

I have all the patience in the world for children because they're children and they're learning and they're growing. Adults, I feel like, should kind of know better, and I don't have a lot of patience for that. So that's probably one of the biggest reasons. But more of it is, I guess I am a good leader. I'm a good leader in the classroom. I'm a teacher leader. I kind of set the bar in every school that I'm in for us to strive to be better at what we do and to really meet the needs of kids and meet them where they are, despite what other people have said, it's not about money. It's not about that role, that status. But introverts can be really good leaders in their own way. So I try to help them understand. You don't always have to be the one raising your hand. Oohing taking control of the group. Offer your two cent. Take your time, reflect on what you want to add to the group. Take a break, step away from the group, gather your thoughts, and then come back and take the opportunity to add what you want to the conversation. I can't remember what I called them in the book, to be honest with you, but little chips, conversation chips, I think. Conversation counters or chips or something like that. I can't remember what I actually called them in the book, but I've been using those for years. So when we sit down at a small group, each kid will get four counters. Once you use those four counters by responding or participating in any way, you're done. You're done, and you're not saying another word. So the extroverts usually are like, boom, boom, boom. And their four chips are done really quickly, whereas the quiet kids sit back and they're like, now I can pick and choose when I want to participate in this conversation. And they take their chip, put it in the cup, and they'll add their little two cent, and then the extrovert will jump in again and they're like, okay. So it gives them the opportunity. Knowing their time is coming. I'm making space for them. The extroverts are not just going to take up all the space in the room. There is a space for you. You do have the opportunity. And sometimes the extroverts will get two chips and the introverts will get three. So they'll get the opportunity to kind of get a little bit more in there. That's just another strategy.

David Hall [00:07:12]:

Also, I guess, giving do they know you're doing that? You're giving different numbers of chips. You just do that because it's random.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:07:19]:

Sometimes I'll give more and the introverts less, but I kind of you got to remember, I've had conversations with the Extroverts to say, you got to give other kids the opportunity, and they learn to be a little bit more respectful of their space in the classroom. Like with little kids. I always read the book Decibella and Her Six Inch Voice, because it's about a little girl who literally is, like, screaming and at the center of attention all the time, and she learns that's not the best way to be and there's different ways to act in different situations. And it's a real eye opener for the extroverts because they're like, oh, I'm a Decibella. That's me, and not even realizing the effect it has on the other kids in the class.

David Hall [00:08:08]:

I like that. So I could think of some meetings I've been in where I wish people had chips. You can have this many. I just want to comment on the leadership part. Yeah, introverts can be amazing leaders. Again, it's just understanding who you are, what you need, your strengths and I mean, yeah, you are a leader in your classroom. You said you've taken a leadership role as far as influence in your schools. You've been in. You're a leader in this space, in influencing, empowering introverts, especially in the classroom. And again, somebody might say, well, why aren't you doing this? It's like, well, because this is what I want to do, and this is how I want to, and there's so many opportunities to lead. But again, that's another myth, is introverts. It's funny, it's even a question, because introverts, of course, can be excellent leaders, but they're going to do it a little differently. They need to understand that. They need to help other people understand that I'm going to have some great ideas, some great strategy and all that good stuff.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:09:10]:

A perfect example. Or I guess an analogy is like when you look at a production, like a play or a movie, and you always see the actors on screen, right? But that play or production or movie didn't occur just with the actors on screen. You need all the people behind the scenes as well. And that's usually the role that introverts play, like in group work and in a classroom, we're like the support staff, so to speak. We're there. When that other comment about behind every man there's a strong woman, strong, independent woman, it's the same thing. There's always that introvert there. They're there. They're behind the scenes. They're not always in your face. But they definitely have some strengths and can be very strong leaders and very successful in life as well.

David Hall [00:09:59]:

Yeah. And people that listen to the show, they'll hear me say often, of course we need introverts and extroverts. We all bring strengths. The show, we're not bashing extroverts, but we're just saying, let's all understand each other and do our best work and those things that we want to do. Talk a little bit just about the actual physical environment in your classroom. How do you set that up to work for both introverts and extroverts?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:10:27]:

So I can't speak to what my room looks like now because of COVID and all that, and it's awful and I hate it. And it goes against everything that I believe a classroom should look like because the kids are in rows. They're not supposed to be working in groups, and it's tough. We have very strict rules in the district that I work in, and they do walk around and they do check on things. So this has been a really rough year in terms of that. But generally speaking, kids have the opportunity to work in groups, in partners, independently, every day. Within every subject that we teach, there's always those options. I do have a section of the room, a small little area called the quiet corner, where kids can go to de escalate from whatever. It could be a kid that it could be an extrovert that is just overstimulated. And for whatever the reason, or a kid that's angry or frustrated and they need to go to that quiet corner. And I know there's a picture of it actually in my book, where they're able to go and just take a few minutes to just sit and deescalate and breathe. But it's there for the quiet kids that need a break. I run a very structured classroom, but it's not rigid and there's a big difference there. There is a lot of flexibility, but the structured is more in terms of routine. Kids know what to expect. They walk in, we have our little schedule, they know what we're doing for the day. If something different is going to pop up, they know from the minute they walk in the room there's always time to prepare. A lot of what we do is built around routine and we spend a lot of time creating that at the beginning of the year. So it's comfortable for the kids and they know what's coming next and what to expect. For instance, things like when they come in the morning, we do a soft start. So they sit down, they have breakfast. If they're eating in school, they have a choice of activities in the morning. Some kids read, some kids go on their computers, some kids will sit and work on a puzzle. Some kids will get out the playdoh and just start creating or building Lego or whatever. Or some kids just like to color. Other kids just sit and talk while they're having breakfast. And I kind of circulate know, do my good mornings and how's everybody doing. And I do kind of an emotional check in. I can kind of what's what's going know? Are they starting off their day good? Is there anybody with their head down? Are they crying or they just look frazzled or whatever? Because of the cold weather we've had in New Jersey lately, the kids haven't been able to go outside. So we do take some movement breaks and they do freeze dances and all sorts of funny little things that we do. And kids that want to participate, participate. Kids that don't, they don't. When we come back from lunch every day, without fail, we turn out the lights. We'd have a whole bathroom routine. These are little kids, right?

David Hall [00:13:30]:

They're six years old, right?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:13:31]:

Everybody's got to go to the bathroom before we start our read aloud. So while they're doing that, I have calming music on. The kids have learned the value of breathing and meditation and that's the time for that. The lights go out, some of them sit there and do the breathing. Some of them just sit quietly. Some of them, again, they color. And it's a very relaxing, calming space for them. So that gives the kids that just came in from lunch, whether they're running around outside or sitting in a crowded auditorium with kids all talking or sitting at lunch, it's very overstimulating for those quiet kids. And it just gives them the opportunity to get centered, to take a break, a quiet moment, and that's usually about ten minutes. And then at the end of the day, we just kind of get all of our energy out. We do little snowball fights. They get all the extra paper in their desk. They make little snowballs. They throw them at each other. So I kind of try to balance the mean, because it's not all about introverts. All the know you have a combination of personalities in the classroom, so you have to find ways to meet the needs of I do. I do the best that I can.

David Hall [00:14:44]:

Okay, so what about you, Chrissy, as a teacher? Because I know there's some amazing introvert teachers out there, and sometimes people even say, oh, introvert. Wouldn't want to be a teacher. Have to be around kids all day. I know you love your job. It's obvious to anybody listening you love your job. But how do you find that recharge time? You've talked about how you help kids do that? How do you do that?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:15:08]:

So I guess the big thing for me is I get to work very early in the morning, so we contractually don't have to get to work till 820. Usually there by 737 15, there's only a handful of other teachers in the building. It's very quiet. I'm able to do most of my prep work because by 305, I'm out. That's contractually when we can leave, and I am out the door at 305 because I'm done. I need to get out. So I do all that prep work and all that stuff in the morning. I have music on, whatever I feel like listening to for the day. I have my breakfast and my coffee or my tea in there, and I get myself off to a soft start, just the way I like the kids to kind of ease into their morning. That's why I do it on those few days where either I oversleep or there's weather concerns or I have to drive my son to school where I normally he's 17 now, so he's driving. But sometimes I do, and I'm, like, rushed to get into school. It is the worst way for me to start my day. And the kids know it. They know it. They see it. They feel it. Are you okay, Ms. Chris? Is everything all right? You don't seem like you should. They're very intuitive, so that's, like, again, it's a routine, and routines make me very comfortable when the kids are at lunch. It is my break. I do not work over lunch. I do not socialize over lunch. I bring my Kindle with me. I eat my lunch. I turn off my lights. I usually move over by the window if there's sun coming in that day, and I will read for 30 minutes. And a lot of teachers say, oh, my gosh. How do you do that? I come in early in the morning, and I do what I need to do then, because by that middle point, I need a break, I need a break. I'm overstimulated. There's all that the phone is ringing and interruptions and working with the kids, and you're go, go. And as a teacher of early childhood children, little kids, you are on from the minute they walk in the room till the minute they leave. There is not a minute that I am not engaged with those kids. It's very different than when I was a middle school teacher where if you were having a rough day or had a headache or needed a minute, you can say, read chapter, such and such, and then we'll talk. There is none of that when you're teaching little kids. So by lunchtime, it's my time, and my colleagues know that, and they respect that. By the end of the day, like I said, 305 rolls around, I'm out, I'm out. I come home, I work out. I have a routine at home, like a nighttime routine, where I start to settle down. I read, I crochet, I have my hobbies things that I do. But yeah, when I'm at work, I work, except for that little bit of lunchtime. But when I'm at home, a lot of it is just attending to me, to my family, to what interests me. I'm on February break right now, which is why I'm able to have this conversation in the middle of the day on a Friday. And I did not do anything for work this week. I did all the things that I wanted to do for me, and I'm okay with that because I needed that time to recharge. And when I go back in on Monday, I will be 150% ready to go to receive those kids and just jump in and start with the learning and the fun and all of that. So those of you that are listening, that are educators, this whole idea that you have to do it for the kids and give up all your time and work, work, that doesn't mean you're a great teacher. It means, oh, my God, you're burning the candle at both ends and you're going to burn out. And I think over this pandemic, the last year and a half, two years, teachers have realized you're not getting paid anymore for it. There's no glory behind that. I've put those days behind me, and I take the time to take care of myself. It's truly, truly important, because when you retire and the job is over, you want to be healthy and strong and physically, mentally, emotionally, so that you can enjoy the rest of your life.

David Hall [00:19:18]:

Oh, that's brilliant. And that's the thing that people have to understand, no matter if you're a teacher or not, you have to take care of yourself. You have to figure out what works for you. And half hour alone at lunchtime, that may be just what you need. Someone else might think that's strange, but you said, yeah, people understand. This is what I need. And so sometimes it is kind of just explaining to people, articulating your needs and setting those boundaries, hey, you know what? I'm going to be my best if I take a little time alone. And again, a lot of this work is helping people embrace who they are, what they need, but also being able to explain it to others and then hopefully having the others understand, hey, you know what? This is normal. This is a normal behavior. And I like that you get in early and take care of it, and at the end of the day, you're done. So that's great.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:20:10]:

Yeah. So it's not like I'm a slacker, you know what I mean? 305. And I've had people comment and they can say what they want, but it's like you don't realize that's because you're coming in at 817 when you're supposed to be there at 820, and then you're staying till 05:00 at night. And if that works for you, you do you and I'll do me. I don't reserve judgment because you don't know what's happening behind the doors when they go home. I know kids that have teachers that have little kids at home that once they're in the door, nothing will get accomplished because they have three kids under the age of seven and a spouse and maybe a parent living at home with them. So they do what they need to do. I let that stuff roll off my back. It used to bother me. I don't let it anymore. I need to do in the morning, and that just works for me.

David Hall [00:21:03]:

That's a big part of this, is embracing who you are and not apologizing for it.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:21:08]:

Yes.

David Hall [00:21:09]:

Just being able to say, this is what I need. So you mentioned the pandemic and that you weren't very happy with the structure and what you have to do right now. Hopefully that's all over soon. But how did introverts do with going to online learning? Because I think there's probably some myths around that, too.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:21:26]:

I think it depends. I don't really think with any of this that we're talking about, you can't throw blanket statements. Right?

David Hall [00:21:33]:

Right.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:21:34]:

For me, we talked a little bit before we started our official conversation. I don't like having my picture taken. I don't like being on video. I don't like the camera on me. I'm not keen on being the center of attention. So for me, personally, the idea of zoom and being on camera and seeing my face all the time, I didn't like it. I mean, I'm used to it now because, my gosh, it's been two years. I'm still doing hybrid because I've had active COVID cases in my class since two weeks before Christmas, all the way through and ongoing until now. So I'm still doing kids in the class and hybrid, I can't wait till it's over. But at first it took a lot to get used to that. I think it's the same thing with introverted kids I've seen. My husband teaches middle school, and he deals with a lot of kids, like just not wanting to turn on their cameras for lots of different reasons. And he respects that they're there and they're learning and they're participating and doing what they have to do. They just don't want their camera on. And I just wish that I was able to do the same sometimes. Sometimes it's exhausting just always seeing yourself in the camera and always being aware that you're there and you can't really let loose and be yourself when you're constantly it's almost like looking in a mirror.

David Hall [00:22:50]:

It is. That's what you're doing? You're looking in a mirror the whole time. And it can be exhausting or it's funny. I was just in a meeting today and it's like, okay, well, I want to lean back in my seat, so I'm going to turn off my camera for a minute here. It's definitely not normal.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:23:08]:

Yeah, I mean, we have staff meetings on zoom, and we are forced to have our cameras on from 305 till 415. And you're tired or you're eating a snack because you're starving, because lunch was at 1030 in the morning, and this is the only other time you have to eat something before you go home. And then you get the phone call, put your camera on. And I find that just so unnecessary. And that's all about control and wanting us to be compliant and not being really respectful. But it's not just in my building. I see it. I hear it from people all the time. Teachers are like that with students as well. My kind of take on things is if you show up, I know you're there, you're doing your work, whether you're participating audibly, orally, like, I can hear you, or you're submitting your work, or you're drawing a picture. I teach all the kids, so kind of you never know what it's going to look like in the end. I don't care if you're sitting there in your pajamas or if your cat is climbing on your keyboard or your dog is sitting with you, or we're doing our daily read aloud and you brought your two little siblings over and they're sitting and they're listening too. I'm cool with that. I'm okay with that. So I think in a lot of respects, introverts were in their own home beating to their own drum. They were able to eat their snack and their drink and sit in their pajamas and in their rooms and be comfortable with their world around them. It allowed them to open up and be more comfortable because they're surrounded by they're in their space. They're in their comfort zone. Extroverts, I don't think, liked being muted all the time and just, okay, enough of you. Mute. Wish I could do that in real life. Mute. All, but you can't. Being able to mute everybody and allowing just one child to speak and to share their thinking without interruption, it was great. The flip side to all of that, I guess, is when the kids came back to school this year, the introverts that I saw in my classroom really struggled with just basic socialization. Knowing how to sit in a seat, how to sit still, how to sustain themselves for a period of time without putting their head down or falling apart emotionally, or feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated. You can't mute the world around you when you're sitting in a classroom. So that, I saw, was a struggle, especially for younger kids. So I have 20 kids in my classroom in September. Only four of them had ever been in school in a classroom before. Four out of 20.

David Hall [00:25:50]:

Yeah. I would say that's especially a challenge for your grade level, because they may not have been in a classroom. And I feel really bad for little kids growing up in the pandemic right now. They might think especially little ones might think, oh, everybody wears a mask all the time because they don't know what's normal.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:26:10]:

Yeah, they really don't. Or what we used to consider normal. Kids that don't know how to use a public restroom because they'd never been in a public restroom because they grew up during not grew up, but were born or I guess through those formative years, like three and four. Years old. When everything was locked down and people weren't going to restaurants and they weren't going to malls and they weren't going to public places, you were home crazy. That the things that are coming out of this pandemic that you would never, ever think of. I know a lot of teachers that teach middle school and high school kids talk a lot about depression and anxiety, and the kids are experiencing a lot of that. And we're seeing on the younger end of things is lack of just basic social skills. Socialization. They don't know how to line up. They don't know how to talk to one another. They don't know how to share with one another. They don't know how to play on a playground. September, October, November. It was a nightmare. Pushing, shoving, punching, hitting, kicking, biting. All of these behaviors from kids that I was shocked, shocked at it. Things have slowed down a bit now, and I think they're getting into the groove and kind of understanding this is how we act with other people in a more formal setting, which is that of a school, but kids running everywhere, not knowing how to walk, and pretty wild, really wild kind of behaviors. And a couple of groups that I'm in on social media with other teachers of pre KK twelve across the country are talking about behaviors, and it's these sorts of things that are like, wow, you're not used to seeing that in second grade. First grade, yeah.

David Hall [00:27:53]:

So. It all puts just extra complications on this whole discussion that we've had.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:27:58]:

Yeah.

David Hall [00:27:58]:

So, again, I think you're doing amazing work. How do you think that this work continues? Someone gets out of your classroom. Are they going to feel more empowered as an introvert going forward?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:28:11]:

I mean, I hope so. I do. I feel like my job when I teach the little kids is to just build them up, build their confidence so they feel good about themselves, so they feel like they can read and they can write and they can do math, even if it's just that they're very the level that they're at. But, wow, I could pick up a book and I can read the cat on the mat and the cat sat on the they can just read something, and they're able to do simple math and write simple sentences and to feel that their voice can be heard. We do have the opportunity at staff meetings this much, I have to say. Our administrator does give us the opportunity to share strategies and what's working. So I've had opportunity to do that over the years, to share the different things that are happening in my classroom. If I do have a few kids and I do this every year, the one or two kids that I feel have come a really long way or that really struggle with introversion and really kind of need that extra. Push. I will make sure to go to that teacher next year and just give them a little bio, a little history on that kid, and be like, these are things that work. And whether they do it or not, I don't know. I mean, I just feel that's my due diligence to kind of pass along. I have had kids come back to me years later. Kids that I taught in middle school come back to me grown adults now, and they're like, wow, I learned about striking first. And not that they call it that, but it's the strategy that I say, yeah, if you have anxiety about something and you know you have something you want to share, be the first one to put it out there. Because studies have shown, research has shown that you kind of set the tone. The conversation will kind of go in a certain direction. Just get it out there so you're not sitting there tapping your pencil or tapping your foot or sweating or wringing your hands, and then you never get the nerve up to speak. Try to get out there first. But I've had a few kids come back to me over the years and say, wow, that's worked well for me over the years.

David Hall [00:30:21]:

That's why you do it, isn't know?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:30:24]:

Yeah, absolutely.

David Hall [00:30:26]:

So, Chrissy, I've really enjoyed this conversation. We've talked about so many different good things, good strategies. Is there anything that we missed that you really want to make sure that you bring out today?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:30:40]:

I mean, we covered a lot, which I'm amazed. I mean, we really did cover a lot in a short amount of time. But I think one of the more important things we didn't talk is about parents of introverted kids. So if you're an introvert, I just hope that you read my book. Read a book, read somebody's book about introversion, understand what you are all about and embrace that and learn to love that part of who you are so that you can love it in your kids and not want to change them and extroverts the same thing. Learn whatever you can about introversion and really see your kids for who they are and help build them up and help focus on their strengths and help support their weaknesses and help them understand that they are wonderful the way that they are, despite what society may say, and advocate for them and be their cheerleader. Which, again, is the reason I wrote the book in the first place. It's really what it all came, and I didn't even want to write the book. The interesting story behind all of this is that I was just always talking about these things at ed camps and conferences and different strategies I was doing in my classroom and advocating for my son. Because if you can't be as a parent, be your child's advocate, who's going to advocate for them? Hopefully the teacher. But if not, it has to be you. And the owner of Times Ten Publishing, Mark Barnes, actually came to me and was like, I know you. We've known each other for a while, and other different forums and aspects, and I see what you do. And I have been an introverted kid, and I feel like I'm failing, I'm failing as a parent. And he just wanted to know more. And it was funny because I was actually in the midst of writing this book for a much larger publishing house, and then they just kind of dropped the ball and never picked it up after that. And I had trouble reaching out to them, and I reached out to Mark just to have a conversation as a friend. And he was like, Why didn't you come to me? And I'm like, I don't know, it never crossed my mind to come to you. And he's like, Well, I want you to. Let's write this book together. I want to publish this for you. So he really allowed me to even change the format a little bit from what he was used to doing. And I pushed back a lot, and I was like, my voice needs to be heard in the way that I want it to be heard. And he was so respectful of that, and I think he learned a lot and he was really supportive through the whole thing. So it's just funny that it didn't sell the way that I thought. We talked about this before because I'm not into marketing. I'm a teacher. That's me, and I'm an introverted teacher at that. So I love having these conversations because it's another way to get the information out. If you don't read the book, listen to this podcast or others that I've done or find introverts on, there's lots of little people to follow on Instagram and other blogs to read and just learn more. So I think that's probably the biggest takeaway, is just try to find out as much information you can, if not from me, from somebody else that's sharing it.

David Hall [00:33:51]:

Yeah. And I love what you said about parents, whether they're extroverted or introverted. Treasure that child for who they are. Celebrate them sometimes. You might need to give them a little push here and there, but understand who they are. And sometimes parenting is a tough job. It's the best job, but it's a tough job. And sometimes you might need to do a little some of your own self reflection and become self aware. Even an introverted parent may not understand their introverted child. And sometimes and again, that's why we're doing this. I am really glad that even if it was reluctantly, you wrote your book. I'll tell everybody here I recommend it, buy the book. It's a great book in lots of different ways. Where can people get your book?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:34:35]:

You can get it at Barnes and Noble. You can get it Amazon, straight from times ten. You could even reach out to me. I mean, I have a box of copies here that I'd be willing to mail out. Yeah, probably Amazon is probably the easiest place to purchase it. And I just found out, interestingly enough, it was translated into so I yeah, so that was like a new thing. It's actually selling on the foreign market now. And I was like, wow, I'm like, that's pretty cool. I didn't know anything about it. My publisher just reached out and said, look, here's the new cover. And I'm like, Wait a minute. That's not English. What is that all about? So I thought that was pretty neat.

David Hall [00:35:16]:

That's got to feel great. So if people do want to reach out to you, what's the best way to do that?

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:35:22]:

I guess on any social media that's out there. I mean, on Twitter. I'm at the Connected. I'm on Instagram. I don't know what my name is there. I think it's Chrissy Lives for Chocolate or something like that. And then on Facebook, it's just me. Chrissy romano Arabito. But I'm sure in your little podcast.

David Hall [00:35:41]:

Notes, I will put them all yes, I will add them all to the show notes.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:35:45]:

Yeah, I mean, they could always email me also. Cramano two, two, three@gmail.com. I'm there. I'm connected. Look, you reached out to me out of the blue. I responded right away. I was like, wow. Yeah, because I haven't really talked about the book in a while. I mean, it was published. It's been a couple of years now, and I have to say thank you for reaching out because I took a look over this week leading up to this conversation and I went back and kind of perused it a little bit, browsed it here and there certain things I wanted to include in the conversation, and I'm happy I did, because there's things that I wrote in there that I forgot, and I'm like, wow, I'm definitely got to make sure I do that. And I'm just as happy now that I wrote it as I was at the time, and and I am proud of it. So, yeah, read it. I hope you do.

David Hall [00:36:37]:

Yeah. So thanks again for all your great work as a teacher. You're doing amazing work and especially helping empower introverts to be their best selves. So thanks again.

Chrissy Romano Arrabito [00:36:49]:

Thank you so much. And for all you teachers out there, keep your eyes open for those quiet kids. We all have them. They're all there.

David Hall [00:36:56]:

Yes. Thank you so much for joining me. I look forward to further connecting with you. Email me at david@quietandstrong.com. Check out the website, quietandstrong.com. I'll add social media channels for me and my guests to the show notes. Send me topics or guests you'd like to see on the show. There's so many great things about being introvert, and we need those to be understood. We need to have conversations about the strengths and needs of introverts. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.