Ep 64 - Confidence in Networking and Presentations as an Introvert

As an introvert, have you ever struggled to feel confident when networking or giving a  presentation?

In this podcast, David will explain how you can gain confidence as an introvert by embracing the value you offer and your worth as a person.  He will provide some real-life tips on how to build self-confidence in networking, and increase your belief that YOUR message is important and valuable, and learn strategies for delivering a powerful presentation. By following these simple steps, you can begin to cultivate an inner belief that allows you to speak with confidence and authority.

 Listen to this episode to discover how to be confident in networking and how preparation, expertise, and passion are integral to successful presentations for introverts. Be confident and be strong.

Books referenced in this podcast:

Devora Zack - Networking for People Who Hate Networking

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Contact the Host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com
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david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Transcript

David Hall [00:00:08]:
Hello. and welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts.

David Hall [00:00:13]:
I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quiet and strong .com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Intro version is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we'll air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review, tell a friend, help get the word out there. So this last week, I attended a conference for work. It was the 1st in person conference I had attended in over 2 years. And, honestly, it did feel good to be out and about. It felt good to be at an in person conference. I don't know what the future holds, but I'm hoping for the best. that we don't have to cancel in person gatherings like this again. I was given a presentation. I was very excited about it. I was looking forward to the other speakers and presentations and perhaps seeing some old friends. I did have a great time. My presentation went well. I had some great conversations with old friends and new. And I reflected on how this confidence and sense of well-being and peace I was experiencing was not always the case for me, at events like this. In the past, these types of conference events, accompanying with plenty of networking, could provoke a lot of anxiety for introvert that's lacking confidence.

David Hall [00:01:42]:
And for the introvert that is lacking confidence,

David Hall [00:01:45]:
The great news is that it can be gained. 1 of my most downloaded episodes is overcoming shyness and gaining confidence as a introvert. It's a big topic. We should be confident as introverts. Because introversion and shyness, they're not synonymous terms. Introverts or extroverts can be shy. If you are a shy introvert, one way to overcome shyness and gain confidence is to get to know yourself, your strengths, your needs, and your strategies for success. Confidence or self confidence comes when you believe that you have great value much to offer, and a worthwhile in your uniqueness. You can gain confidence in your worth and uniqueness in the gifts you have to offer the world. Sometimes introverts may lack confidence as they're turned inward more often than outward. They need to think before they speak. And sometimes they're not given the time, which can cause a lack of confidence. Knowing accepting and understanding this can make a huge difference.

David Hall [00:02:57]:
Also, being in unfamiliar situations, can cause a lack of confidence as well. It has become easy to research events like

David Hall [00:03:07]:
this conference ahead of time. So you can be at more ease as you're approaching an event or an unfamiliar situation.

David Hall [00:03:17]:
So we're gonna talk a little bit about confidence. We all have individual strengths and needs. In confidence comes in knowing what your strengths are and not comparing yourself to others. You can gain a lot of confidence

David Hall [00:03:33]:
by gaining self awareness and understanding your strengths and your needs. Some of this confidence comes in understanding differences between introverts and extroverts. Extroverts get energized by interacting with people. As an introvert, you probably get charged by ideas and concepts that are interesting and exciting to you.

David Hall [00:03:57]:
You know, I I like talking to people, and I'm not necessarily drained by people, but certain people in situations. Yes. Sometimes, though, I can be quite energized in conversations with particular people. What drains me is too much small talk. I get drained when subjects are not that interesting to me, and I have to strain to come up with something to say.

David Hall [00:04:21]:
But I have learned to relax. and not worry how many conversations I'm having in an event, but look for some good quality conversations. I also get drained when the environment is too noisy, and it's hard to hear the other person.

David Hall [00:04:38]:
I don't mind noisy environments and loud music. just as long as I'm not trying to talk or have a conversation. Actually, like loud music, but not trying to talk at the same time.

David Hall [00:04:52]:
The old saying I can't hear myself think applies especially to introverts in this situation. So at the event during lunch, I was trying to carry on a conversation in a very noisy environment. It was difficult.

David Hall [00:05:05]:
I did my best and just relaxed. didn't worry if if I wasn't talking a lot or being too quiet. Again, it's really hard to talk in a loud environment sometimes.

David Hall [00:05:17]:
So I've spent a lot of my life comparing myself to extroverts and feeling like I didn't measure up comparing myself to a extroverted friend I finally realized, why would I wanna act like that person or network like them when I don't have the same needs or desires for social interaction.

David Hall [00:05:38]:
In in her book, networking for people who hate networking, the Boris Zach says in regards to introverts and extroverts. I've been known to the general public, 2 divergent cultures live among us. Although not distinguishable by gender, age, race, ethnicity, physical abilities or height, they're entirely different species. These 2 civilizations have variations with the with their societies yet retain distinct customs and rituals. So she's talking about introverts and extroverts. She calls them 2 different civilizations. Again, realize that we do have differences, and they're not good or bad, but understanding can give you confidence in social situations like a networking event or conference. So keep in mind to gain confidence No. What are your goals for the particular event? If you're an introvert, your networking goals will likely be different than your extroverted colleague. and that is okay. I do wanna say that although you may go about things in a different way, you still may need to make improvements in yourself in order to reach your goals. You can't change your introversion, but you can change your habits, thoughts, fears that are holding you back, and these type of social situations. And, again, you can change in the way that you want to by knowing who you are and knowing yourself. And I was thinking about this as I was attending this conference.

David Hall [00:07:16]:
I had a great time. I heard some interesting presentations.

David Hall [00:07:20]:
I enjoyed some good conversations.

David Hall [00:07:22]:
I thought about how interacting with people in this type of setting used to be more difficult for me. And how I'm so much better now at navigating the social aspects of a conference

David Hall [00:07:32]:
and so much more at ease. Part of this change was really getting to know myself and what my goals were. I don't pressure myself to interact every minute, but I let myself relax and give myself a little room to breathe and recharge alone as needed. A walk outside could be just what you need. don't be afraid to to take a break.

David Hall [00:08:01]:
So what are your goals for your next conference or networking event?

David Hall [00:08:04]:
How will you achieve them?

David Hall [00:08:06]:
Just be sure they're your goals and you achieve them using your unique gifts and strengths and in your way. I had a great time giving my presentation. I was not feeling one bit shy and nervous about it. There was a time when presentations and speeches

David Hall [00:08:23]:
were much more of a challenge for me. I've come a long way since then. Often, people ask me if I'm nervous before a presentation or speech. And I confidently say no. I'm not. Because I'm not. But do know if you're not confident in giving speech, you can overcome that.

David Hall [00:08:43]:
When I was younger, I had a terrible fear of public speaking. I would agonize before and sometimes after.

David Hall [00:08:49]:
There would be a shakiness in my voice, my knees, along with the dry mouth.

David Hall [00:08:55]:
I have since given many successful public speeches in a variety of formats.

David Hall [00:09:00]:
So keys for me in public speaking

David Hall [00:09:03]:
are preparation,

David Hall [00:09:05]:
expertise, and passion when I speak and I have these 3 ingredients, the above troubles seem to go away. So with preparation as a introvert, I do like to think about things. However, when you're behind the podium giving a speech or presentation, This is not the time to think. The time to think is is past. To prepare, think about the following questions. Who is my audience?

David Hall [00:09:33]:
what are the key points that you wanna drive home? How much time do you have?

David Hall [00:09:41]:
Often after I do the initial preparation, I let the ideas for the presentation roll around in my head a little longer maybe for a few days depending on how much time I have. And then as I do that, I continue to have ideas

David Hall [00:09:57]:
as I further perfect the speech. When you're comfortable with the material, it's easier to get your points across without having to think too much. And you can give your presentation with confidence. And like I said, it's important to have expertise. What is your expertise? How can you share it?

David Hall [00:10:16]:
Hopefully, you're using those introvert thinking and study skills to become

David Hall [00:10:21]:
or in the process of becoming an expert in something you're very passionate about. That brings us to the next one. Passion. Are you still nervous?

David Hall [00:10:31]:
What are you telling yourself? Maybe it's time to tell yourself a new story. For example, remind yourself, I have something great to share,

David Hall [00:10:41]:
something I'm passionate about, and the people need to hear.

David Hall [00:10:46]:
You know, if you are a perfectionist like me, you may need to tell yourself you're gonna give a great presentation but you're human, so it may not be perfect.

David Hall [00:10:55]:
Remember, all audience members are human and are not perfect either.

David Hall [00:11:01]:
When it's over, you can review how you did, and your next one will be even better. So when it comes to confidence, I don't feel I'm better than others, but at the same time, I don't feel that others are better than me. This realization has done wonders to free me from shyness and be confident.

David Hall [00:11:20]:
So just keep that in mind that nobody's better than you. I know how I work best. I'm a thinker and may need some time to think. I'm no longer afraid to address a large crowd or small group or individual. because I understand myself and how to work with my strengths. A thought on fear and fearlessness from Steve Chandler. Being fearless means seeing through the illusion of fear and understanding that fear is a result of a thought and realizing you have the power to question your thoughts. create whatever you want in life. It's just a mind shift away. Close quote. Fear exists in our minds, and we can change our minds. We just need to change the messages we're sending ourselves. I spent a good share of my life, not fully using my talent. I would have fears like what if people do not like me or what I'm doing or I'm not good enough or others are better. I've since challenged those fears and negative thoughts. and I'm far happier, more successful than ever. Here are a few things I've done.

David Hall [00:12:29]:
Find positive people to share my dreams with.

David Hall [00:12:33]:
Read inspiring books and blogs of successful people. Listen to positive podcasts in YouTube videos. Challenge they give thoughts as they come in my head. Is this really something to be afraid of? What's the worst that could happen? or the reverse, what's the best that could happen?

David Hall [00:12:51]:
I think that many people are falling far short of their potential and give into their fears.

David Hall [00:12:57]:
So challenge your fears. Change your thoughts. Live your dreams. If you're lacking confidence, you can absolutely gain it. It was amazing to feel confident and have a great time at this conference, both speaking and networking. Again, Similar events in the past would have caused great anxiety.

David Hall [00:13:15]:
Thank you so much for joining me. I look forward to further connecting with you. reach out at david@quietandstrong.com. Check out the website, quietandstrong.com. I'll add social media channels to the show notes.

David Hall [00:13:29]:
send me topics or guests you'd like to see on the show. There's so many great things about being an introvert, and we need those to be understood. We need to have conversations about the strengths and needs of introverts. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs. and be strong.