Ep 155 - Cultivating Self-Awareness and Confidence, Especially For Introverts with Richie Kyriacou

Are you ready to unlock your potential through the power of self-awareness and confidence? In this episode of The Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall is joined by mindset, career, and life coach Richie Kyriacou to explore the transformative journey of self-discovery. You'll learn practical strategies for cultivating self-awareness, overcoming limiting beliefs, and building unshakeable confidence to pursue your goals with clarity and courage.

Key takeaways:
- Discover the importance of self-awareness in unlocking your true potential.
- Learn how to cultivate confidence by reframing self-doubt and celebrating past accomplishments.
- Gain insights into stress management techniques and the impact of self-care on mindset and decision-making.

Tune in and join the conversation to gain valuable tools and insights that will empower you to cultivate self-awareness, embrace confidence, and be strong.

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Richie Kyriacou is a Mindset, Career and Life Coach and founder of Reset With Richie.

Prior to this, Richie had a successful career in Financial Services where he climbed to a senior leadership position covering multiple teams in the Asia Pacific region. However, in the first half of his career, he sat in the backseat and watched as everything happened to him. He had always worked hard but wasn't doing the other things to be recognized. Presenting, speaking up in meetings, challenging the status quo, etc., and all out of fear.

Tired of this way of life, he looked for solutions and started showing up with more clarity, calm and confidence. The promotions soon followed suit.

Throughout his whole career, however, he always had a lingering sense that he was meant for something else, and in 2020 it became abundantly clear what that was. That’s when he decided to coach full-time other hard-working professionals to overcome their challenges and build the life and career they truly desire.

- - -

Contact Richie:

Website: ResetWithRichie.com
Social Media: LinkedIn

- - -

Contact the Host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com
Gobio.link/quietandstrong
david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts

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Transcript

Richie Kyriacou [00:00:00]:
We can find ourselves very unaware of what's holding us back. Right? So whether that's limiting beliefs, I'm not good enough. I'm too young. I'm too old. I'm not qualified enough. And as well as that, just figuring out what it is you really want and to put your energy into. It could be a 100 different ideas in the world. So to narrow down, where do you see yourself? Where where do you wanna be in your future, what do you want your life to look like, and then creating a plan around that.

Richie Kyriacou [00:00:30]:
And it's hard to do all of that type of thing yourself just on your own reading books, listening to podcasts, it's all consumption of information. But you're in session with a coach they can really guide and probe and really essentially generate, levels of self awareness you never had before to derive insights and clarity and realizations about things. And then and here's what coachings, then take courageous action in line with that and build the confidence.

David Hall [00:01:16]:
Hello, and welcome to episode 155 of a Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quiet and strong .com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review. That would mean a lot to me.

David Hall [00:01:42]:
Tell a friend about the podcast, and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Richie Kiryaku is a mindset, career, and life coach and the founder of Reset with Richie. Prior to this, Richie had a successful career in financial services where he climbed to a senior leadership position covering multiple teams in the Asia Pacific region. However, the first half of his career, he sat in the back seat and watched as everything happened to him. He'd always worked hard, but wasn't doing the other things to be recognized, presenting, speaking up in meetings, challenging the status quo, And all out of fear. Tired of this way of life, he looked for solutions and started showing up with more clarity, calm, and confidence. The promotions soon followed suit. Throughout his whole career, however, he always had a lingering sense that he was meant for something else.

David Hall [00:02:40]:
And in 2020, it became abundantly clear what that was. That's when he decided to coach full time other hardworking professionals Overcoming their challenges and build the life and career that they desire. Alright. Well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, Richie. Richie, it's good to have you on today.

Richie Kyriacou [00:03:00]:
It's good to be here, David. Thank you for the invite.

David Hall [00:03:03]:
Alright. We're gonna get into the great work that you do. Before that, though, We definitely would like to hear a little bit more about you and your story, your journey to becoming a mindset career and life coach. So tell us about that.

Richie Kyriacou [00:03:17]:
Okay. So like many people, I fell into my career. And straight out of uni into my 1st office job. And I was used to manual labor type roles throughout my teenage years, like, on farms, for example, cutting cauliflower and broccoli, furniture warehouses, all of that type of manual labor work. So when I got into an office for the 1st time, I had that mentality of just manual labor, work hard. And I sat at my desk, and I worked really hard. But I was noticing I wasn't then doing the other things to be recognized in my role. And I take full responsibility for that because it was made as holding myself back.

Richie Kyriacou [00:04:06]:
For example, sitting in meeting rooms and being fearful to speak up and and and challenge people and have even just say anything. Hey. It could be just senior people in that room, and I'm just intimidated to to speak. And I wasn't really aware of what was going on cognitively, but I was definitely experiencing physical sensations, symptoms, racing heart, flush in, shaking, all of that kind of stuff was going on until I kinda got sick and tired of that work hard, play hard on weekends as well as part of my story, the playing hard. I got sick of that, and I said, right. Okay. I need to do something about this. I I know my stuff in work, but I'm not feeling confident.

Richie Kyriacou [00:04:58]:
I'm not being recognized. And I started to, I guess, do that inner work and went on that journey of awareness, self awareness. And through that, I started to then, With that awareness, with those insights, I started to then simply choose courage. It wasn't as if confidence was just given to me through doing inner work. It was choosing courage based on the the new awareness that I was gaining. And through that, through putting myself into uncomfortable situations, for example, yes, speaking up, presenting, doing these other types of things, putting my hands up, I started to build that confidence. And then I Start to be recognized. Through recognition came the rewards, the promotions, eventually got to senior leadership position.

Richie Kyriacou [00:05:57]:
And I was leading Multiple teams across the Asia Pacific region in in banking. And I always knew, though. I always knew I was meant for something else, and I didn't know at all. Throughout my career, I did not know what that was. And I enjoyed aspects of my role, for example, leading teams and especially in the one to one setting, developing staff, both professionally and personally, and maybe there's something in that. But it wasn't until here's my clarity came in an unconventional way, I guess. My clarity came through looking at my habits. So for example, I mentioned earlier, playing hard.

Richie Kyriacou [00:06:45]:
It was only till I I said to myself, I need to stop drinking. Right? It's causing me problems. Right, is causing me pain. Now I tried multiple occasions to get rid of it out of my life, never succeeded. And, eventually, I did that final try, and I did. And it was challenging initially, of course, to to, I guess, build new habits for my weekend as opposed to just going out to the pub on a Friday night and seeing where that took me. But when I did and that and going through that challenging period at the start, I then, on the other side of that, got more clarity, more connection, and having more conversations about what are the potentials for me? And there are 3 people. There are 3 people.

Richie Kyriacou [00:07:45]:
1 was a direct report. He said to me, check out coaching. Another one was a good friend of mine and an ex colleague, and he said it to me as well. He said, look. You're a really good listener, And you're really good at reading people. We knew each other as well from playing poker. Again, you need to read these. And and then my partner, Jill, as well, she encouraged me to look into it.

Richie Kyriacou [00:08:11]:
And when I did, and a light bulb went off. So this is it. Yes. Let's go. And here I am.

David Hall [00:08:22]:
Yeah. If 3 different people are telling you the same thing, it's and you're feeling it yourself, it's definitely something to look at. Right?

Richie Kyriacou [00:08:30]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And people can tell you things, but if it if you don't get the emotional reaction after doing your own research, search. You know, that's the that's the signal.

David Hall [00:08:43]:
Okay. Well, we're gonna get into the coaching work, but you're also a fellow introvert. Talk a little bit about that. When did you figure that that you were an introvert, and how'd you embrace it?

Richie Kyriacou [00:08:54]:
I Think I remember, and I'm trying to remember. I must have been about 25 when I first heard the word. Alright. Certainly, I remember hearing the word, and it was from a boss of mine, and he was talking about a book. I didn't really dig deep into it, but based off his description and I can't remember his description of what an introvert was at the time, but I was just I ignorantly ignorantly assumed, oh, they're a loner. Until a couple of years later, that magic age of 27, I mentioned doing the inner work, that's something around that's somewhere around what age I was at the time. And I came across the word again and the book and started looking into it. And I said, alright.

Richie Kyriacou [00:09:45]:
Okay. This makes sense for me. I have these traits. I need this the time alone. And in terms of embracing it, It was more I felt included or accepted. That okay. I'm not a a weirdo because I like to be alone sometimes. Well, not a total weirdo anyway.

Richie Kyriacou [00:10:10]:
Right? But Right. It it it was an understanding an understanding. I would sum it up like that.

David Hall [00:10:19]:
What's a strike that you feel like you have because you're an introvert?

Richie Kyriacou [00:10:24]:
I would say listening without the need to talk or without waiting to talk. You know what I mean? It's a it you're in conversation, and it's almost people just wanna get in and say something or or pick something out of what you said and go after that. But sometimes there's there's more to the story. There's an underlying message that gets missed, and that's the thing to to listen to and understand more about. And I don't know if this is also a strength, but my ability to set aside time to focus and really execute on it. And In a in a practical sense, that looks like the night before planning my next day as much as possible because other things get in the way, of course, but blocking our time for that next day, and going to sleep on that plan and letting my subconscious work out what needs to get done that next day. And so when the next day happens, it's just bang. Okay.

Richie Kyriacou [00:11:36]:
I'm clear. I execute, and I'm quite productive when I do that.

David Hall [00:11:40]:
Yeah. It's both a strength and a need. So if you give yourself time to focus, time to use your introverted abilities, It's amazing, but you have to plan for it, like you said, and planning in advance and letting your mind work on it, like, Overnight or however long, that's amazing. And it sounds like you really started to embrace those listening skills in your work life, you know, working with your Direct reports and others, and and now it's gotta be a great skill in your coaching work.

Richie Kyriacou [00:12:12]:
Yeah. Absolutely. There's There's a a saying that as a coach, you listen 80% and talk only 20, and it it's quite true.

David Hall [00:12:25]:
You call yourself a mindset career life coach. Tell us about that and reset with Richie.

Richie Kyriacou [00:12:33]:
Reset with Richie. You know, when I come up with that name for two reasons, one, Reset was easier to pronounce than Kyriakou. And then 2 and spell as well. And then and then 2, I wanted a word to capture what clients are walking away with. So that word reset, people might think go off on a nice sunny holiday for 10 nights away from work. You know, feel those moments of relaxation, forget about worries, but then they get home and the same old worries pop up again, the same old problems pop up again, same old dislike for the job. The work I do sets out to give people the space to work out sustainable solutions to what their problems, their challenges are so they don't have to continue facing them after they walk away. And it's not just about career changes.

David Hall [00:13:45]:
K?

Richie Kyriacou [00:13:47]:
A lot of my work is finding out what people really want, and sometimes it's just calm. There's so much stress now in the world. They want a mindset for calm. They want tools for calm, embodying calm, not just calm confidence as well getting into that, or a mixture of all, a mixture of career clarity, calm, and confidence. I know there's someone I I worked with recently, and they're in the corporate world, and They they wanted to find out. They weren't really they're not really happy, and I want to find out where else can I put my energy somewhere meaningful? I wanna give back and great skills in, producing content and video editing, but also the the meaning side of things was to creating a channel on YouTube where producing inspiring stories, sharing the stories of people in the world that we see as famous or successful, but really delving deep into the backstory as well. And the YouTube channel's taken off. I I saw it last month.

Richie Kyriacou [00:15:02]:
One of the videos is up to 600,000 views. Okay. He hasn't stepped away from his corporate role just Yeah. Because he's got a family and he's paid the bills, but he certainly found that meaning in his craft and giving people something, giving people inspiration, and that is fulfilling to him in itself. And and maybe one day, the money comes as a byproduct of that to support his family. But to get there to get there, we had to work through some of the, you know, the the limiting beliefs or the the the fears around putting himself out there with these messages, and creating the plan to then go and create this content. So, yeah, it's varied. Very varied, David, the the type of clients and what they wanna work through, but you can kinda get the themes.

David Hall [00:16:01]:
Talk to us a bit about why should someone have a coach. You know? What's the benefit of having a coach?

Richie Kyriacou [00:16:09]:
Simply put, to stop mocking around.

David Hall [00:16:14]:
Okay.

Richie Kyriacou [00:16:16]:
Yeah. Let let let me break that down. So we can find ourselves very unaware of what's holding us back. Right? So whether that's limiting beliefs, I'm not good enough. I'm too young. I'm too old. I'm not qualified enough. And as well as that, just figuring out what it is you really want and to put your energy into.

Richie Kyriacou [00:16:40]:
It could be a 100 different ideas in the world. So to narrow down, where do you see yourself? Where do you wanna be in your future? What do you want your life to look like? And then creating a plan around that. And it's hard to do all of that type of thing yourself just on your own reading books, listening to podcasts. This all consumption of information. But you're in session with a coach, they can really guide and probe and really essentially generate, levels of self awareness you never had before to derive insights and clarity and realizations about things. And then and here's with coaching. Say and take courageous action in line with that, and build the confidence.

David Hall [00:17:27]:
So I know an important part of your journey was, You know, building self awareness, and now you help others do the same. So let's start with yourself. How did you gain self awareness, and now how do you help other People gain self awareness.

Richie Kyriacou [00:17:41]:
How did I gain self awareness? Wow. First, I believe there are levels to self awareness. It never ends. For example, as you know, David, I'm about to be a father the end of this month, first time.

David Hall [00:18:01]:
Yeah. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you.

Richie Kyriacou [00:18:05]:
But that comes with its own new levels of self awareness.

David Hall [00:18:10]:
Yeah. It sure does.

Richie Kyriacou [00:18:11]:
Yeah. As you know. Yep. And leading into that, who do I wanna be as a father? Right? As a a provider comes with its own new anxieties, and worries. Right? So that's stuff I'm I'm working through right now, this period of my life. But how did I start? I started let's go back to that magic age again. 27. So When I finally decided I needed to try and overcome these fears, limiting beliefs, lack of confidence, all that stuff, poor habits, and you start being brave and you look at them.

Richie Kyriacou [00:18:57]:
Because for so many years, I was looking externally. But you have to go and look at yourself. You look in the mirror, and there's different ways to do that. You can get help, of course. There's journaling. For me, it was it was a combination of professional help as well as meditation, journaling, reflective work, and different modalities of professional health therapy, coaching, going off doing traditional eastern practices over South America, all this type of stuff to, I don't know, to bring me to the point I am at now, where I'm content, I would say confident in a lot of areas. Some areas I really need to choose courage. For example, doing podcast.

Richie Kyriacou [00:19:57]:
This is quite new to me. This is a new thing. Alright? So I'm choosing courage here. Yeah. And then when it comes to helping others, It's hard to describe. It's really hard to describe what I do. I mean, I've got, Right? So, background in studying, coaching. I've got the different tools, the exercises to draw upon.

Richie Kyriacou [00:20:26]:
I've even created a program whereby it's not just 1 to 1 sessions. Clients also have access to a platform whereby there's there's exercises, workbooks, videos I've created to all, and, bring their bring their journey through that process of self awareness. But in sessions, I think it's most powerful. In in sessions, Really, it comes down to me being super present with the person sitting opposite me, super present, and trusting my intuition to listen maybe to something that's not being said, to see what they need to see, help them see it. And they even Some clients, I ask a question, and they'll and they'll speak, and then they're just saying to themselves, ah, it's just that, ah, as they're talking because they've spotted something that they weren't aware of before, or I might say see something, and I'll call it out to them. So, yeah, it sounds a bit woo woo, but it's it it works with it works with the people I connect with. Yeah? And that's the reason why I have before I work with any client, I have introduction calls or discovery calls, whatever you wanna call it, to make sure there is that connection in there too, because that's gonna be a good sign signal that we can work together, and they can get the results they're looking for.

David Hall [00:22:00]:
It sounds like you're taking them through a process where they're actually examining themselves and their life. And And maybe if they're not doing that, they're just going day to day and and not taking that time to examine things. But working with you, you're really helping them bring out Those things that they want and those things that they want to do.

Richie Kyriacou [00:22:20]:
Yeah. And and that's the other choice. The choice is to just go day by day and and don't do anything about it.

David Hall [00:22:27]:
Yeah. And then nothing changes or it gets worse.

Richie Kyriacou [00:22:30]:
Yeah. Yeah. More complaining, more blaming. And then to select a coach, that's that's risky in itself. Right? And people before deciding have self doubts around that, oh, will I get the results that the other clients did? What's gonna happen? What am I gonna find out? All of that stuff goes on too. So, again, it comes down to courage, choosing to be brave.

David Hall [00:22:59]:
Yeah. Along those slides, tell us, how do you help clients with their mindset?

Richie Kyriacou [00:23:04]:
Mindset. Mindset. So Really, mindset, what it means is how do we think about things. How we think about things determines how we feel about things. How we feel about things determines our actions, our choices, our behaviors, and those actions, choices, behaviors are gonna determine the result. And the cycle starts all over again. How we think about that result leads to the feelings, leads to behaviors, it's not a result. So When working with clients, we have we have 60,000 thoughts a day on average.

Richie Kyriacou [00:23:46]:
Someone did that study before, 60,000 thoughts. It's pretty impossible to be aware of all of those thoughts. But we can certainly become aware of feelings. So let me give you an example. Someone at work. They're in they're in the office, and the boss snaps at them. You know, really short. Say something.

Richie Kyriacou [00:24:18]:
And the person on the receiving end of that might get anxious. And then there's this rumination on that. Oh, what have I done? I'm not I'm not doing the right thing. And And they internalize that, and they might even take that home to their family, have a bad sleep. But instead, in that moment, catching that feeling of anxiety and saying, well, okay. My boss snapped. Well, maybe they're having a bad day because My performance review last month was really good. Okay.

Richie Kyriacou [00:24:58]:
Then I'm gonna just let my boss have their moment, do their thing, And I'm gonna choose I'm gonna choose to I don't know. I'm gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna get away from my boss for half an hour, an hour. Well, I'm gonna take an early lunch, right, and get get you get yourself back on track and then go into your afternoon and and be productive instead of potentially carrying anxiety and then procrastinating or worse worse, some people will work harder to try and please their boss. And that in itself can cause more anxiety and burnout and all this other stuff that we don't want in in life.

David Hall [00:25:37]:
And part of all this is is the habits that we have, and I know that's part of your work is helping people develop better habits. How do you go about that?

Richie Kyriacou [00:25:47]:
I go about that through similar similar work, so so self awareness, whatever the habit is. Let's take, for example, the mobile phone. Right? I was a culprit for this one as well last year. In the evenings, a bit too much scrolling, not really adding any value to my life. And I knew so here's the self awareness. So understanding what how is this important to me and my standing what how is this important to me and my values? Does this align to my values? No. Scrolling social media certainly does not align to my values. Okay.

Richie Kyriacou [00:26:25]:
How is it affecting me? Well, it's causing me to be distracted as opposed to creative thinking. Okay? So understanding, I guess, understanding the reasons why it should be in our life or shouldn't be in our life. Right? Getting clear on who you wanna be really, who do you want to be in this world. And If it's, for example, giving up a habit, they're very difficult to do, but then you need to get into the details of what that habit is, understanding what are the triggers behind that habit, k, understanding when those triggers occur, how to then respond to them, and you're getting into the the molecule of dopamine as well. Dopamine is is the most common molecule that is released upon habits, whether it's you're thinking about a chocolate bar As you're sitting on the couch and you wanna go to the kitchen, already dopamine as you're sitting on the couch thinking about that chocolate bar, dopamine is already spiking. And you go when you eat the chocolate bar and that dopamine then crashes, and it wants more in order to give that feel good feeling again. So how can you replace that urge, that craving for chocolate? And there's different ways, all very customized. And this is what happens in session.

Richie Kyriacou [00:27:57]:
It it's customized to the individual, what's important to the individual, and ensuring there is somewhat of a healthy reward in the substitute or alternative responses. And and then the flip side of that is creating new habits. It's similar. So who do you wanna be? Might be a health goal. But okay. Understanding why do you wanna be healthy? Oh, I wanna be healthy because I wanna see my kids grow up, and I wanna see my kids' kids also grow up somewhat as well, and I wanna be able to throw ball with them. Alright? So connecting deeply to the emotion behind why you even wanna start something.

David Hall [00:28:39]:
Yeah. So how do I put down my phone?

Richie Kyriacou [00:28:45]:
Well, a technique that has been working for me in 2024 is I leave it upstairs. I leave it upstairs after work. So have dinner around 6 o'clock. Phone goes upstairs, and I'll check it around 9, 9:30. It's getting ready to bed just to make sure there's nothing urgent on there. And if there was anything or super urgent, The people that are close to me also have Jill's number so they can bother them in the evening

David Hall [00:29:18]:
instead of me. Yeah.

Richie Kyriacou [00:29:24]:
Yeah. So that's working for me at the moment, and I'm feeling better for it. Yeah.

David Hall [00:29:29]:
Yeah. So there's good things you can do, like like you said, leave it. Because I I know, you know, and probably a lot of people are listening have a struggle with their phone in one way or another. I know that if I'm talking to someone, my kids, or someone at work, I need to not be looking at my phone. You need to really be paying attention to them, and that's, think that's a a problem for a lot of people. So there's different things you can do. Like, in the case, if you can leave it for Somewhere else for a while, that's helpful or just, you know, put it put it down when you're with your child or or someone at work or or wherever.

Richie Kyriacou [00:30:06]:
And and as you say that, you know, when you're in conversation with someone and what's New as well is people now looking at their smartwatch instead. Yeah. You're in conversate and and and and the hand flips up to their eyes as you're talking to.

David Hall [00:30:22]:
Right. Right. Throughout this conversation, you've also referred to confidence. How do we gain confidence if we're lacking confidence?

Richie Kyriacou [00:30:32]:
Understanding that confidence is something that lives in the past, not the future. We get confidence from things that we have done. And if there's something new that you want to do, for example, speaking publicly. As mentioned earlier, my my struggles with that. Well, going understanding what is your current story around that. Current story might be, I can't speak up publicly because of my anxiety. I can't speak publicly because of my fear of judgment that others, I think, I am not good enough or don't know what I'm talking about. It's a story.

Richie Kyriacou [00:31:18]:
Break it down. Find the real truth. And the real truth might be, well, no. You've got a lot to offer in these meetings. Right? You've been you've been in this role 2, 3 years. You might have been working on a a client account, a specific client account. You know a lot about that client. You know a lot about how the processes are in your own department as well as you've got insight into how the clients' operations are too.

Richie Kyriacou [00:31:48]:
So when you're going into a meeting, well, understanding the value that you're adding into that meeting. Right? Because often it's the case where you're sitting in these meetings with with people that don't have the level of detail that you do, and maybe they need to hear from you. And reframing it, going into these events, whether okay. Let's continue using the example of a meeting. You're going in, and you're you're saying to yourself, oh, how can I impress these people? How can I appear to be good? How can I appear to be liked? And that's coming from a place of taking. You're trying to take from these people to take opinions. Reframe that and say, how can I give? Who are these guys? What do they need? What's the value that I have that I need to give these help their day. Ultimately, no one really cares about judging you.

Richie Kyriacou [00:32:55]:
Right?

David Hall [00:32:56]:
Right. Yeah. You judge yourself more than anybody else does. That's for sure.

Richie Kyriacou [00:33:00]:
That's it. That's exactly right.

David Hall [00:33:03]:
And when you're giving a presentation, there's a reason why. It's all the things you're saying. You're the expert in a particular thing, and you need to remind yourself of that. There's a reason I'm here. You know? It's because I know something. I have some expertise. I'm not being asked to present for no reason. There's a reason why.

Richie Kyriacou [00:33:21]:
And take that action.

David Hall [00:33:23]:
I think a lot of my confidence came from the self awareness that we're talking about. You know? And you talked about how, you know, you have a gift of focusing, but you gotta prepare for that. Right? So I think we can give Great speeches, you know, talking about introverts, but often it's the same thing. We have to prepare, you know, and we could compare ourselves to somebody else, You know, an extrovert that doesn't need to prepare as much as we do, but that's not gonna help us. We just need to do what we need to do to get ready for that Presentation in this case. And I think that self awareness really can give us confidence in in whatever it is that we're doing, that we we're ourselves, and we're not like somebody else. You know?

Richie Kyriacou [00:34:04]:
Yeah. Well, David, that that point about comparison is so important today. I'm hearing it a lot. People holding themselves back because they're comparing themselves to others, social media. Crazy. What's going on?

David Hall [00:34:20]:
Yeah. It doesn't help.

Richie Kyriacou [00:34:23]:
It doesn't help. It doesn't help, and you don't know the full story behind the people you see on social media.

David Hall [00:34:29]:
Right. Another aspect that you work on with people is their stress levels. There's high levels of stress out there. How do you help people overcome and manage their stress?

Richie Kyriacou [00:34:43]:
Let's break it up to into 2 parts. When it comes to stress, and I'm talking about the bad stress, of course, let's break it up to 2 parts. 1, the strategic, and 2, the tactical. So what do I mean by the strategic? I'm talking about the big picture in someone's life. The stress, what is the root cause of it? It might all boil down to they're in the wrong career, or there's this unconscious negative mindset continuously repeating itself. It could be the ego. It could be, you know, certain certain traits like like people pleasing. I'm hearing that a lot.

Richie Kyriacou [00:35:30]:
That can cause someone a lot of stress, people pleasing, because they're always putting the the needs of others first and and aren't saying no, and that inability to say no is being internalized. And it's it's funny. There's almost a paradox when someone can Firstly, get awareness over, you know, on a people blazer. Okay. Right. You're a people blazer. So are many others in the world. Alright? It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Richie Kyriacou [00:36:09]:
But just simply having that awareness that it exists, And then you can get better at making choices around that when it shows up. So, For example, when people can get that level of awareness and then start saying no more, well, then that could actually increase productivity and reduce stress. And it's sometimes hard to say, no straight up. So if you find it's really hard to say no, there's a there's a trick, and let's say Yes. Slowly. Right? Saying yes slowly. So if you're asked to do something, ask them questions before saying yes. And that other person might realize, no.

Richie Kyriacou [00:36:58]:
This isn't for you. I'll take it somewhere else. Right? And that problem's gone off your plate. You didn't even have to say no. Right?

David Hall [00:37:06]:
Right. It's probably better off with the other person. You know? Someone else might have better skills at a particular thing than you anyway.

Richie Kyriacou [00:37:14]:
Exactly. Yeah. And more effective in in in the end result. And then flipping over from the strategic, which is the the the high level big picture view, going into the tactical. So the tactical, I describe it as daily habits, whether that's and everyone has their own things that work for them, finding out what they are and creating a routine around them. Like, mine is the morning routine. It could take me about 2 hours to complete that. But when I do, it's very hard for someone or something to to mess with the levels of calm that I have during my day, and some techniques, that you can practice, someone can actually deliberately bring on stress.

Richie Kyriacou [00:38:07]:
For example, cyclical hyperventilation, which is something I've been doing for about 2 years now. And in that, I'm bringing on stress. I'm bringing on the hormones of the cortisol and adrenaline into my system. But what also is happening is I'm sitting in that. I'm learning to sit in that. And my prefrontal cortex, the one responsible for the decision making, logical reasoning, rationality, is able to sit in that and control my my response to that adrenaline and cortisol. And it's very, surprisingly, very, very calm in that space. And that helps me then go out into the day.

Richie Kyriacou [00:38:48]:
And I use the breath throughout the throughout the day as my anchor to remain calm.

David Hall [00:38:54]:
How how long is that process to do that? Just curious.

Richie Kyriacou [00:38:58]:
The breath work?

David Hall [00:38:59]:
Yeah.

Richie Kyriacou [00:39:00]:
So breath work, well, you could do it for a few seconds

David Hall [00:39:05]:
Okay.

Richie Kyriacou [00:39:06]:
As a practice. But for me, I'm up to Average, 45 minutes. Depends if I've got a meeting, you know, first thing in the morning, I might shorten that down to 20 minutes or 30 minutes. If I've got a morning of no meetings, I might do an hour. Okay? And I've got my my music playing, and I'm guiding myself through that.

David Hall [00:39:31]:
Is there any other parts of your, your morning Routine that you wanna share?

Richie Kyriacou [00:39:36]:
The gym, it's a big one. Yeah. I've really struggled getting back into the gym. Last year, we moved we moved country back into Ireland. Was we're living with my parents for a while and didn't bother joining a gym, and then we we bought our own house. And we're in the middle of winter here in Ireland too. So I joined the gym with intention to go, but I'm getting up at 6 AM, and it's, like, minus 2 degrees. My car is full of ice.

Richie Kyriacou [00:40:08]:
I have to get hot water, but,

David Hall [00:40:10]:
But, you

Richie Kyriacou [00:40:10]:
know, I'm not and I'm breaking through all those mental barriers that are telling me, go back to bed, Richie. Go back to bed. It's warmer there. And I have to break through that and just get in there. But when I do, it's, yeah, it's so much better. So gym, breath work, or meditation, sometimes a bit of journaling and and a prayer as well. Awesome. Yeah.

David Hall [00:40:36]:
Ed, this all started this conversation we're having about you being a coach because you were in a career that You, you know, felt like you weren't suited to and something was telling you you're meant for something different. How do you help people when they're they're feeling that way, when they're in a career and They're feeling stuck. How do you help them get to that more satisfying work that that they're meant to do?

Richie Kyriacou [00:41:00]:
Can I use the word self awareness?

David Hall [00:41:03]:
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's important part of all this. Yeah.

Richie Kyriacou [00:41:07]:
It is. It really is. And I guess I am the facilitator. I do not have the answers for someone. I don't say, hey. You go do this. This might make you happy. Right? I started working with a guy, just before Christmas, And he's in corporate, and he wants something meaningful.

Richie Kyriacou [00:41:31]:
He's bored. So we had a session just before Christmas. I got him to you know, we explore the self awareness zone, understanding what's important, where he sees himself, give him some exercises. And then he went on a a Christmas holiday for 2 weeks. And he's he came back, and he said, Richie, I went kayaking. Right? Kayaking is something he's been doing for the last year, and he had his challenges with with getting the grip of it. But on his holidays, he really enjoyed it. He found peace doing it, and he's like and then he started asking himself, What is it about kayaking that I really enjoy, and how do I apply that to my career? And he's coming up with, You know? It's this slow paced nature of it.

Richie Kyriacou [00:42:27]:
Slow paced. And he's like, I'm in a corporate job, and he is fast paced. And also, introverted nature, independent thinker, deep think all that kind of stuff was going on too. He was coming with these understandings about himself. And then he started researching. He started researching the different job opportunities, teasing. He's come up with a shortlist, and he come back into session 2 to explore what they look like. And I've challenged him on some of them for him to go and, you know, think more deeply about them.

Richie Kyriacou [00:43:00]:
I'm looking forward to what session 3 can bring. And it's it's I really acknowledge him because he's brave. It is courageous to go and you should go and find out these things. You know? Because we get too comfortable in the comfortable even if it is boring.

David Hall [00:43:23]:
Richie, this has been a great conversation. Is there anything else that you want to share that we haven't touched on?

Richie Kyriacou [00:43:31]:
I don't think so. I think we've we've covered a lot of ground here. Yeah. I really appreciate you listening, your listeners listening.

David Hall [00:43:38]:
And, of course, where can people Find out more about the work you do or get in touch with you.

Richie Kyriacou [00:43:44]:
Google reset with Richie. You'll find me.

David Hall [00:43:49]:
Awesome.

Richie Kyriacou [00:43:49]:
And, yeah, different ways. I'm on LinkedIn. Got a contact form on my website. Just if you're interested, book a introduction call.

David Hall [00:43:57]:
Sounds great. Thanks again, Richie.

Richie Kyriacou [00:44:00]:
Thanks, David.

David Hall [00:44:01]:
Thank you so much for joining me. I look forward to further connecting with you. Reach out at david@quietandstrong.com or check out the quiet and strong.com website, which includes blog posts, Links to social media and other items. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. If you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there's Now a free type finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the four letter Myers Briggs code. I'll add a link to the show notes. There's so many great things about being an introvert, so we need those to be understood.

David Hall [00:44:39]:
Get to know your introverted strengths and needs, and be strong.