Ep 66 - Public Speaking - Becoming Confident, Compelling, and Captivating as an Introvert with Victoria Lioznyansky

Are you an introvert who feels like you're held back in your career or business because of your fear of public speaking?

Do you wish you could step up and confidently share your ideas, but don't know how?

Then this episode is for you. 

Join us as public speaking coach Victoria Lioznyasky shares some of her secrets to becoming confident, compelling, and captivating in front of an audience as an introvert. Learn simple steps to overcome your fear of public speaking,  what to say when you don't know what to say, and how to prepare and deliver memorable speeches to any audience with confidence.

Listen to this episode to improve your public speaking and start making a bigger impact in your life and work right now.

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Victoria Lioznyansky teaches introverted entrepreneurs and business professionals how to overcome their fear of public speaking and become confident and captivating speakers. Victoria went from scared to sought-after speaker and founded Brilliant Speakers Academy®, an online public speaking coaching program.

Guest: Victoria Lioznyansky
 
Contact Victoria:

Website: https://byvictorial.com/

Free Training: https://www.byvictorial.com/training

Brilliant Speakers Accelerator Program: https://byvictorial.com/accelerator

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/byvictorial

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/byvictorial/

- - -

Contact the Host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com
Gobio.link/quietandstrong
david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Transcript

00;00;00;01 - 00;00;22;02
Victoria Lioznyansky
The way you captivate your audience. Let's talk about this worth captivate. What does it mean captivate? Captivate means that not only they're listening to you and they can't take the eyes of you or they can't stop listening, and they just. So in the moment, they're completely wrapped up in that conversation. Not only that, but also when they leave.

00;00;22;24 - 00;00;35;06
Victoria Lioznyansky
So keep on thinking about it. That's captivating, right? How do they do that?

00;00;37;29 - 00;00;59;16
David Hall
Hello and welcome to the quiet and strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, the creator of Quiet and Strong Gqom. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, while each episode on a Monday, be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform.

00;00;59;23 - 00;01;24;10
David Hall
We review. Tell a friend. Help get the word out there. Victoria Wisniewski teaches introverted entrepreneurs and business professionals how to overcome their fear of public speaking and become confident and captivating speakers. Victoria went from scared to sought after speaker and founded the brilliant Speaker's Academy, an online public speaking coaching program.

00;01;26;14 - 00;01;29;23
David Hall
Okay, well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, Victoria.

00;01;30;18 - 00;01;32;21
Victoria Lioznyansky
Hello, David. Thank you for having me.

00;01;32;28 - 00;02;05;17
David Hall
Yeah, we are going to talk specifically about public speaking for introverts, and public speaking can be a challenge for introverts and extroverts, but I think that there's specific ways you can get better and enjoy it if you learn from a fellow introvert. And so that's what we're going to get into today. And like I was saying, I know you have a podcast out there that I just listen to so many episodes because it was just such great content and I'm excited for to share some of that today.

00;02;06;25 - 00;02;19;00
David Hall
But before we get into that, tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey to understanding that you were introvert, embracing that, and now teaching public speaking to other introverts.

00;02;20;12 - 00;02;38;09
Victoria Lioznyansky
Well, my name is Victoria Lewis. Nancy. I'm originally from the former Soviet Union. I actually came here almost 30 years ago because I came as practically an adult. I still have a very strong accent, which is funny for people because when they see me for the first time to talk to me, they're like, Oh, welcome to the United States.

00;02;38;09 - 00;03;05;21
Victoria Lioznyansky
And it's like, Yeah, it's been kind of 30 years most of my life, but I obviously grew up as an introvert. Is that doesn't change who you are once you are really have introverts, you still had introverts. But I didn't know that there is such a concept as being an introvert until I was pretty much an adult. I had no idea how to explain my personality.

00;03;05;21 - 00;03;27;05
Victoria Lioznyansky
And so I just thought I was weird because we live in a world of extroverts, of people trying to pretend to extroverts. And so when I knew I was different, it just meant that I didn't necessarily want to be out and playing with friends all the time. I was more than happy to just stay at home and read the book and be by myself.

00;03;27;05 - 00;03;56;01
Victoria Lioznyansky
And I really loved being by myself and people kind of drained me. I had no words for it until much later when I found out that what being an introvert is all about and growing up become in public speaking coach was the least that was on my mind. Like this was never ever a profession that I thought of simply because I was growing up terrified of public speaking.

00;03;56;22 - 00;04;17;29
Victoria Lioznyansky
I was hoping I would never, ever have to speak in public because it was just shaken me to the core. I had an episode. I was ten when I ran offstage in tears and I told myself, I'll never speak in front of an audience again. And when I came to the United States, I got my master's degree. I started I was working in the corporate and I started the company on the side.

00;04;18;13 - 00;04;46;12
Victoria Lioznyansky
I had no choice. I had to speak publicly. That was way back then when, you know, YouTube even was not the thing. I'm really dating myself here. But YouTube was another thing and you couldn't, you know, hide behind the computer or something else. You actually had to be in front of people in public trying to build your audience, trying to get clients and I started learning how to overcome my crippling fear of speaking.

00;04;46;18 - 00;05;07;17
Victoria Lioznyansky
How can I speak without shaking and getting in already and losing my mind and losing my words? And it was really trial and error. A lot of it wasn't. I got the book and I read it and hate that worked. No, it was there was so much bad advice floating out there. I've tried it all and I, I it's just trial and error, really.

00;05;08;13 - 00;05;28;18
Victoria Lioznyansky
And then I, I did it. I was no longer scared. I was speaking without much fear, and people would come up to me after my presentations at work or when I would present in my business. They would come up to me and say, Oh, you're such a natural with love and all that. You're kidding me. I'm like, scared of public speaking.

00;05;28;18 - 00;05;48;25
Victoria Lioznyansky
I was like, No, you have to teach me how to do it. And I realized a few years back that this is actually something that people need and want to learn. And this is a skill. While a lot of people feel like, Oh, it's such a natural. No, it's a skill. It's not something we're all born with, but it's a skill that everybody can learn.

00;05;48;25 - 00;05;50;02
Victoria Lioznyansky
And so I started teaching it.

00;05;50;29 - 00;06;10;02
David Hall
Awesome. Yeah. I love that you said that that it can be learned because I was the same. I got a shaky voice, a dry throat, all that stuff. But at the same time, you know, sometimes people might say introverts don't have a lot to say. But I think we have a lot to say because we're always thinking, right?

00;06;10;10 - 00;06;11;02
Victoria Lioznyansky
Well, we're thinking.

00;06;11;05 - 00;06;34;15
David Hall
Yeah, we have a lot to share. But sometimes that's difficult because to get that message out of our head and share, but there's some things that we can do. And you know, it may be a big conference talk, but a lot of times it's going to be more like you're saying, you know, when you're in business, you have to present all the time, you know, in various ways, like I'm giving a presentation tomorrow and I'm very excited about it.

00;06;34;16 - 00;06;51;23
David Hall
Not nervous at all, but I know I need to prepare and I've been preparing and I need to be ready for that. Just back on the introversion for a second. Was there a particular thing that really helped you see, Oh, this is who I am? Is there something that you read or I.

00;06;52;13 - 00;07;21;07
Victoria Lioznyansky
I just read something about introverts versus extroverts and, and I was like, wait, this is describe in me. Oh, maybe I am an introvert. It was literally reading something. And while when I realized I am an introvert, I it was such a it was a sense of relief. It's not like a weird it's not like I am, you know, antisocial and that like people no, it's it's more, oh, this is how my brain works.

00;07;21;07 - 00;07;46;07
Victoria Lioznyansky
This is how this is where I get drained. This is where I get recharged. You know, the ultimate punishment to me right now is I live in the same house as an extrovert. My older son is a complete and total extrovert, and I can absolutely see the difference side by side. It's so funny seeing extroverts, you know? It's funny how you mentioned people think of introverts have nothing to say.

00;07;46;07 - 00;08;21;25
Victoria Lioznyansky
No, we do. Because we we think yeah, we think think things and we say extroverts. No filter, no filter. It's like anything that goes in his mind immediately comes out. It's like you want to think maybe for like a second. No, it's like he loves to talk. He loves to talk. He's like, oh, the whole time. It's a completely different mindset and both can be beautiful, excellent public speakers or public speaker and not in the sense of like that's your career, but public speakers in the sense of thinking, no, you work, you, you have a business and you speak anytime, anywhere, and you are wonderful.

00;08;22;10 - 00;08;53;08
Victoria Lioznyansky
Both extroverts and introverts can be those types of people. They can speak with passion and brilliance and understanding of their audience is just a different mechanism of how they learn. And again, with us was introverts. We are thinkers. We like to be prepared and we need to use what we know are our strength to our advantage is just knowing what your strengths are.

00;08;53;08 - 00;09;17;08
David Hall
Absolutely. And you know, that was as I was figuring out, I was an introvert. That was one of the things that really thinking about my kids like I'm married to an introvert. I have two extroverts and one introvert and just, yeah, this comes very naturally to us. You know, there was nothing that we did to raise our kids differently, but they definitely come with their own amazing gifts and strengths.

00;09;17;24 - 00;09;36;09
David Hall
And that was something that just really helped me understand. Yeah, this is very natural. There's a lot of strength, as you're saying, that come from it. But you got to understand that, like I could look at my extroverted colleague who's giving a presentation and think, Wow, you know, she she's brilliant at this. She didn't even have to prepare.

00;09;36;09 - 00;09;53;02
David Hall
She's just getting out there and speaking. Everybody loves her. Or I can think, what do I need to do? And that's that's where that's where I landed is I could give a great speech. I can enjoy it. I can get my message across, but I got it. I got to do the work that I need to do is, is where I landed.

00;09;53;14 - 00;09;55;06
Victoria Lioznyansky
Mhm. Absolutely. Yeah.

00;09;56;14 - 00;10;08;25
David Hall
You are, you busted. A couple of myths there you know and this show's definitely about talking about the strengths and also needs of introverts, but we must miss here. Is there any other introvert myths you want to bust today?

00;10;10;06 - 00;10;33;14
Victoria Lioznyansky
I think the biggest myth is that and there are so many of them, but I mean, the biggest is people always tell me, oh, you cannot be an introvert, you're not shy. Oh one that has nothing to do with the other. There are granted there are a lot of shy introverts, but shyness is not something that really has anything to do with being an introvert.

00;10;33;14 - 00;10;56;24
Victoria Lioznyansky
Because being an introvert, and I'm sure you talk about this all the time, it's not about I'm afraid of people. Oh, I want to hide under my table. Being an introvert is really how you get drained and how you get recharged. You get drained by being surrounded by people. You get recharged by being alone. And so that myth of you, you're shy.

00;10;56;26 - 00;11;24;22
Victoria Lioznyansky
If you're an introvert, it's really nothing but the myth. I can go out there and talk to people and meet people and be the most social person ever. And people would never even realize I am an introvert, but when that happens, I feel drained. Yes, I am very, you know, social and happy and talkative. But I walk out, I close the door.

00;11;25;22 - 00;11;53;24
Victoria Lioznyansky
I need to, like, literally sit down and be alone and not be surrounded by people because those huge groups of people. SDRINIS Yeah, so so you have to know that to build your behavior around this as an example, if you know that you're giving a presentation at work, take a few moments before to be in your cubicle, in your office, be the restroom.

00;11;53;24 - 00;12;17;17
Victoria Lioznyansky
If there is no other place to be alone, find the place to be alone so you can focus. Even think about your what you're going to say. So you can mentally prepare so you're not drained. If you are jumping between meetings without any interruption, that's going to hurt you because you are drained. You are tired from just speaking to so many people.

00;12;17;17 - 00;12;46;07
Victoria Lioznyansky
So now you got to go and speak to more people. So try to find just even if it's a two minute interval where you're completely alone and you can just focus on yourself. Here's an interesting example. Elvis Presley, who is, in my opinion, one of the greatest singers of all time. He obviously looked like an extrovert. Right. So anybody I mean, who would think that Elvis Presley is an introvert when he is out there on stage going, okay, right.

00;12;46;07 - 00;13;08;24
Victoria Lioznyansky
He was an introvert and he knew very well what he needed to do as an introvert. Before any concert, he would walk from his little area or, I don't know, whatever, wherever he stayed, he would walk those few hundred feet towards a stage alone. I'm sure he had bodyguards walking by, but he was alone. He wasn't talking to anybody.

00;13;08;24 - 00;13;36;14
Victoria Lioznyansky
He was focusing on himself, building up that mental energy, focusing on his performance, not chatting up with people before he went on stage because he knew, I'm sure I'm speaking for him. I don't know what he was thinking, but I'm sure he knew that how he was best, his best self. When he stepped on that stage and gave everything the people he had, he needed to have something to give.

00;13;36;27 - 00;13;49;04
Victoria Lioznyansky
He needed to have enough energy. And that walk all by himself gave him that energy, built up that battery, internal batteries that we all have, all introverts have it.

00;13;50;06 - 00;14;13;25
David Hall
Yeah, and that's the key. What do you need? You know, and it may not look the same as your colleague or maybe your colleagues, even an introverted colleague. And it may not be the same. I know, Victoria, I've been really looking forward to our chat this morning and I guess what I needed to be sure, you know, I start preparing for these an hour ahead of time and I'm definitely by myself.

00;14;13;25 - 00;14;35;23
David Hall
And, you know, I it's important to me to not be rushed. And and that's something I've learned. I mean, life is not always perfect. Sometimes you have to maybe not have the ideal, but my ideal is definitely getting everything ready about an hour ahead of time, you know, sitting here in this chair and just thinking about, you know, what I want to ask you and all that good stuff.

00;14;35;23 - 00;14;40;20
David Hall
But it's it's part of what I do before the show. And it's important to me as an introvert.

00;14;41;11 - 00;15;05;05
Victoria Lioznyansky
Right. And I think that's a very common theme for introverts. So I would say most people need that. Most introverts need to feel prepared when with and a lot of times they never feel prepared. And I think that's also something that integral share that we always feel a little bit like underachievers in the sense of preparedness. We never feels that we have enough time.

00;15;05;05 - 00;15;28;26
Victoria Lioznyansky
We never feel we're prepared. It's it's not even the lack of confidence. It's more the hour. I kind of feel this our internal need to really be prepared and to feel that we are on top of things. And if you feel this way, then again use it to your advantage. Use it to calm your nerves, use it to feel more confident.

00;15;29;02 - 00;15;46;00
Victoria Lioznyansky
Don't put yourself in the situation where if you're already afraid of public speaking, you go in a complete state of terror. Because on top of everything else, you know you're not ready. Give yourself the gift of a gift. You know, you did everything that you could be prepared.

00;15;47;03 - 00;16;16;04
David Hall
Yeah, absolutely. And as you're talking about shyness, definitely. You know, I loved your examples, too, because all introverts are not shy. It can be a thing. But also I think that it you know, it's something that can be overcome. If you can get to know yourself and you're not doing the things that you want to do and you need some confidence, I think that getting to know yourself as an introvert can help you gain that confidence.

00;16;16;04 - 00;16;21;22
David Hall
And I know you work with people on being confident, so how do you do that? How do you help people gain confidence?

00;16;22;19 - 00;16;53;22
Victoria Lioznyansky
You know, confidence is such a funny thing. We especially those of us who consider ourselves high level professionals, maybe we work in the corporate world manager, maybe a CFO, maybe you only in the business be an entrepreneur. We a high level professionals. We know what we're doing. And a lot of us still feel not confident. We feel very confident about our level of skill.

00;16;54;10 - 00;17;26;00
Victoria Lioznyansky
We feel very confident about who we are. We feel very confident about what we bring to the world in terms of our knowledge and our genius, but when it comes to public speaking, all that confidence disappears. And I think a lot of you hear me right now and nod because it's true. It feels like that concept, that internal confidence that we have in general in life is completely disconnected from the confidence that needed for public speaking.

00;17;26;20 - 00;17;45;25
Victoria Lioznyansky
And so one of the things that I do and I do a lot of a lot of things in my coaching, but one of the things that I do is I actually connect that confidence that you already have, because you do you can't you can't be a professional without having some level of confidence about what you do. You know that you're good at what you do.

00;17;45;26 - 00;18;16;26
Victoria Lioznyansky
You know that you're good at your specific field off work. So some of some of the things I do is I connect the confidence that we actually carry inside ourselves to the confidence needed for speaking in public, though that's one thing. And the other thing is learning to turn art, to turn on this confidence switch on demand. But I feel confident about who I am and what I do.

00;18;17;05 - 00;18;49;16
Victoria Lioznyansky
But it's not like I walk around all day. You know, I'm confident I am like this. I'm in a grocery store and I consider them right now. We're like normal people live a normal life, right? So we we don't necessarily always feel this, you know, bursts of confidence nonstop, even though it is inside of us. But when I jump on a podcast, when I walk in to meet him, when I step on stage to do a presentation, and this is when I need to feel the most confident that I ever feel.

00;18;50;02 - 00;19;36;09
Victoria Lioznyansky
So learning to channel on that confidence, which is another skill that I teach, because again, it is a skill. It is a skill. Learning to open that door and immediately feel your best self, your most confident self, your smartest, your kindest, your most genuine, most authoritative and confident self. So that is very important. It's not important to be confident 24 seven But that is important to pull that confidence and be able to be your best self, not to be like somebody else, to be your best, the most confident self on demand.

00;19;38;00 - 00;19;49;16
David Hall
Yeah. And I think that's the key is understanding your best self and knowing you have some great things to offer and it may not be like somebody else's, but they're yours and in you you need to share those.

00;19;50;00 - 00;20;18;12
Victoria Lioznyansky
Absolutely. Like, one of the things we talk about in my program is we cover and cover your stories, basically, all of us. And that even not just introverts was extroverts. All of us have some stories that we are stuck with that are in our brain, from our childhood, from people saying unkind things at some point of time, or just people trying to be kind to us and teaching us things that we shouldn't be thinking.

00;20;19;20 - 00;20;52;07
Victoria Lioznyansky
We have this baggage of stories of limiting beliefs. That's the unknown that we carry with us and learning to uncover as I'm going into understand what they are and turn them off or turn them around so that they're actually true versus limited believes that are holding us back, that are not true. But we keep on thinking that that is also a part of learning to become confident and all of us have our own stories in our head.

00;20;52;07 - 00;21;19;25
Victoria Lioznyansky
And, you know, my stories are completely different than yours, but we can turn them to our benefit or we can turn them off so that they're not holding us back from being the most confident self. There are so many things that there's so much garbage in our brain. It's scary, so much garbage. And a lot of times that garbage takes over our brain.

00;21;19;25 - 00;21;54;25
Victoria Lioznyansky
And there is this little voice in the back of your head. Right, that tells you, Oh, you're not good enough. Who are you? Are you two things that you can step on that stage and speak in front of 2000 people? You're not worth it. Right. And that voice is so overpowering that we'll listen to it or it's what we need to learn is silence that voice and make the other voice loud advice that the voice of our true self, the voice that can tell us, know what you think is not true, and here is why.

00;21;55;06 - 00;22;26;12
Victoria Lioznyansky
Logically, here is why. And each of us has our own challenges. But we all have our own victories and and beautiful things that we've done. Things that we forget. Right. Because that things are easier to remember if I tell you, if I let's say, David, if I tell you right now that you are incredibly kind and smart and wonderful and I love talking to you, it's going to feel really nice, right?

00;22;27;06 - 00;22;45;01
Victoria Lioznyansky
But that feeling is going to be gone by the end of the day. And tomorrow, if you don't feel confident, if you can think about it, you'll be like, I don't even remember this anymore. Like, I don't remember you will forget me saying it. But if I say you don't know anything you're talking about, you're just so useless, right?

00;22;45;01 - 00;23;03;15å
Victoria Lioznyansky
If anybody ever says that to you, by the end of the day, you still remember next day. You still remember a month from that day you still remember that things are just so easy to remember. And the reason I'm saying that is because we all carry that garbage that we remember, but we forget all the great things we've done.

00;23;03;15 - 00;23;24;00
Victoria Lioznyansky
And a lot of times what you need to do is work through uncovering all the beautiful and rich and wonderful things that are a part of who you are. And logically discouraging that voice from telling you you're not good enough.

00;23;26;00 - 00;23;53;02
David Hall
Yeah, it's amazing. And you know, you were just given examples, but I felt the difference from what you were saying, you know, even though, you know, you're just making things up. But it's I could feel it, you know? And so I think part of this is really, like you're saying, understanding your strengths. Just as an introvert, what are some strengths that you have and maybe what some others that you've seen in people that you've coached, you know, other introverts, some some some great strengths.

00;23;54;17 - 00;24;20;04
Victoria Lioznyansky
I think you touched on it. I think our bigger strengths is that we actually think through things. We are all we are all us think. And that's a weakness. But a strength is that we think, which means we approach everything we do in a thoughtful way. So use that strength if you know you have a presentation tomorrow, don't try to wing it.

00;24;20;04 - 00;24;43;25
Victoria Lioznyansky
Don't try to just spend the whole time before the presentation being scared and just terrified. Then keep on thinking, Oh, I'm so scared. And I know now that's you don't need to do that. What you need to do is actually use your strengths as an introvert, the strength of thinking things through and prepare meticulously. Now, when I say prepare, I don't mean, you know, let's say write down everything you're going to say, whatever.

00;24;44;01 - 00;25;08;28
Victoria Lioznyansky
How will you process is? And I do have a process that I teach, but we'll have different process. But let's say you write down everything that you teach. Are you prepared? No, because as an introvert, as a thinker, you can take it a step further. What you want to do to prepare is think through all the bad scenarios that can happen.

00;25;08;28 - 00;25;36;01
Victoria Lioznyansky
Now, we're not going to do it so that you can scare yourself. We're going to do it so that you immediately find a solution for anything that can happen. So let me give you an example. Let's say I need to go and it may not be really COVID compliant, but let's say I am going out there to do a presentation and a lot of times right now we are on Zoom, but let's say I'm going out in person and I'm going to a company where I've never been before.

00;25;36;01 - 00;26;02;23
Victoria Lioznyansky
I'm doing a sales presentation, I'm bringing in my laptop and I'm thinking I'm just going to fuck it up. So as an introvert, you can think this through a lot more. You can sit down and say, okay, let me think. What does the bad things that can happen to me? Oh, what if I can go up my computer and the presentation is on my computer thing?

00;26;03;24 - 00;26;32;13
Victoria Lioznyansky
Oh, is this a moment to fall apart? No, this is the moment to start thinking, okay, what is my plan? What if this happens? Let me think, sister. Okay. Hmm. Maybe I'll also bring a flash drive with my presentation on it. Okay, great. Wait. Let me think this through some more. What if my flash drive doesn't work? What if they don't allow me to use a flash drive for whatever reason now would take it a step further.

00;26;32;15 - 00;26;49;24
Victoria Lioznyansky
Things are through. This is not to scare you. I would reminded you. This is not to scare you. This is to be thoroughly prepared. Maybe what I'm going to do is I'm going to email my presentation to somebody on the inside so that as a worst case scenario, they have it and they can pull it from their server.

00;26;50;19 - 00;27;13;11
Victoria Lioznyansky
And this is how you think through every problem that can happen. A lot of times coaches tell you, oh, you don't need to think about bad stuff because that's going to scare you. Oh no, you want to think about the bad stuff because only by thinking about the bad stuff, you can be proactive, be prepared to tackle that bad stuff without it being a surprise.

00;27;13;27 - 00;27;41;14
Victoria Lioznyansky
What we introverts don't like surprises. We we don't like them when they happen and we don't like to even think about them happen in the series. So what you want to do is you want to eliminate surprises and that's how you prepare. So preparation is not just about I know what I'm going to say. Preparation is about I know what I'm going to do if something happens.

00;27;42;03 - 00;27;53;07
Victoria Lioznyansky
Because I thought about it. I tackled every scenario and I feel very confident about all the bad things that potentially can happen. That helps. It don't. But I feel very confident. I'm ready.

00;27;55;03 - 00;28;13;14
David Hall
Yeah. And it's it's great to prepare in that way, too. I recently gave a conference presentation and I think it's nice if you can kind of get a look at the room before I had before time ahead of time. So I was presenting on day two. So it was nice the day before I got to like, you know, check out the other things.

00;28;13;22 - 00;28;35;02
David Hall
And then sometimes these things are back to back, like the breakout sessions. But it was nice. Mine was there was a nice break before mine. So I got to go in there and then I was struggling like, Oh, what, what's my login for here? And you know, but it worked out because I had plenty of time. But yeah, I think that, I think thinking through everything is very important.

00;28;35;02 - 00;28;39;27
David Hall
So we avoid anything, you know? And what if there was no technology, you know, what would you do kind of.

00;28;39;29 - 00;28;54;17
Victoria Lioznyansky
Right. And what exactly. That's another really great example. And what if everything fails and you cannot do a presentation using your PowerPoint or whatever you have that people are going to show? Are you ready to go without it? You'd better be.

00;28;55;14 - 00;29;14;23
David Hall
Yeah, that's why go through. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, I've done a lot of conference presentations and the technology varies so much, you know, and how good it is, you know, and that kind of thing. This one was really nice. It's the best set up I've ever had and it was also nice because I hadn't done anything in person for the last couple of years.

00;29;14;23 - 00;29;17;12
David Hall
So that was kind of nice to be out and about.

00;29;17;22 - 00;29;21;01
Victoria Lioznyansky
Yeah, I still have not done anything in person. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00;29;22;23 - 00;29;27;17
David Hall
So how do you actually prepare for what you're going to say?

00;29;27;17 - 00;29;56;06
Victoria Lioznyansky
There are different ways and different school of schools of thought on this. And I have a preference, a strong preference that I teach, but there are different ways people go about it. So so here is a case, right? Let's say for simplicity's sake, you have a 30 minute TEDx style talk. That style talk means no slides. You just speak 30 minute.

00;29;56;20 - 00;30;28;10
Victoria Lioznyansky
That's full stop, which is probably terrifying for most of you to even hear this. But but stay with me. So some people memorize their whole presentation. The whole presentation. I can't I'm not that good this memorizing that much. But if you are maybe speaking on a big stage, I know I personally know people who memorized everything. So that's one way to do it.

00;30;29;21 - 00;30;54;02
Victoria Lioznyansky
Probably not the best way to do it. Why? It's not the best way to do it. Because if you memorized the whole thing, all it takes is for you to forget just one segment somewhere and you're completely lost, right? Because you memorized the whole flow. As soon as there is a little interrupt you, you're lost and you're in.

00;30;54;02 - 00;31;27;20
Victoria Lioznyansky
It's very hard to find where to restart it. That's that's a real problem. Another school of thought, not an introvert school thought. It's probably an extra school of thought, but not memorize anything, not just, you know, think through what you want to say, kind of like. And and just go go with it and just speak and you'll and the truth is, it may actually work if you're speaking about something that you know really, really, really well.

00;31;27;20 - 00;31;52;02
Victoria Lioznyansky
It's such it's such a huge area of your domain that you are so confident about that you literally if people ask you about that anyway at any time, you can just speak about it for hours, right? So in that case, I can see how that may work. But again, would you want a reset if you were really on that stage and millions of people are going to be looking at you?

00;31;52;12 - 00;32;23;00
Victoria Lioznyansky
Right. So that's one way of doing it. Secondly, of doing it and the way that I like is to create an outline. It's a flow and only memorize the flow. What I mean is you come up with bullet points of your presentation. So if let's say you have a theme in the talk, you break it into seven, eight bullet points because everything you say is sort of in the little segments.

00;32;23;00 - 00;32;41;16
Victoria Lioznyansky
Right? There is a thought here. There is a thought here. And then you speak for a few minutes about that thought. Right. So that logically makes sense to us, how we can break it into bullet points. Now, if there are 50 bullet points that defeats the purpose that don't that that's not going to work. What you want is just a manageable amount of bullet points like under ten.

00;32;42;12 - 00;33;11;10
Victoria Lioznyansky
And you literally memorize them, you memorize the flow, you memorize your bullet points so that if you forget something, if you're talking about something and you're on your second bullet point and you forgot something, it's like people don't know, right? What you're going to talk about anyways. They don't know your flow, they have no idea. But you can immediately switch to the third bullet points and not feel lost because you remember your outline.

00;33;12;17 - 00;33;37;13
Victoria Lioznyansky
And other than those bullet points I would recommend memorize in your opening that one minute thing I would memorize only because if you feel uncomfortable with public speaking, then you're stepping on the stage and all eyes on you. Right? This is the moment where everybody feels their worst. This is where you start feeling like, What am I doing?

00;33;37;13 - 00;33;55;18
Victoria Lioznyansky
And I also saw that and we talk about all of that. Like I coach people through all of that, but it's still is the scariest moment. Wouldn't it be easier if you knew what to say and you memorize that one minute? How many of us cannot memorize one minute? Very few. Like little to memorize one minute. This is not that hard.

00;33;55;27 - 00;34;26;03
Victoria Lioznyansky
Or half a minute. Like just to get you go and right. Just to get there, just to get you sort of in the flow and then you speech the bullet points and then you're good to go. The biggest thing people are afraid of is forgetting this speech, right? What if I forget speech? And this is where memorizing the bullet points really helps because no matter what you forget in the middle, it's okay.

00;34;26;13 - 00;34;57;23
Victoria Lioznyansky
Not the end of the world. As long as you can seamlessly switch to your next point, the next point, your next point to audience, it's going to look like you're in the flow. You never forgot anything. There is not a single mistake. You're speaking beautifully, even though you may, may know otherwise. So that would be my my biggest recommendation to you when you're thinking through your presentation.

00;34;58;15 - 00;35;20;06
David Hall
Yeah. And I. Yes. Some people may work best for memorizing eyes. It sounds like your process and mine are very similar, you know? And I like that you said to memorize your bullet points. I definitely I create my bullet points. You know and like when I find out I need to give a presentation or speech, that's where I start.

00;35;20;06 - 00;35;40;25
David Hall
I kind of like, okay, what are the points I want to cover? Right. And you know, I prepare, but then I kind of let that roll around in the back of my mind as I think about the, you know, how I want to talk about those things. And, you know, I try to capture those, you know, maybe I'm working on something else, but I might have a notebook right by me where I can capture that idea that comes from my speech.

00;35;40;25 - 00;36;01;10
David Hall
And I think that that can be a great thing, but I like that. Yeah, the thought I don't think I thought about that before memorizing the bullet points, but it is what I do. And even the opening, you know, think about, okay, how do I want to start this conversation on this podcast or this presentation and maybe even how I want to end it kind of thing?

00;36;01;23 - 00;36;34;11
Victoria Lioznyansky
Yeah. And what I do have a deep sometimes, you know, driving to a client meeting to self-presentation, whatever, whatever I'm doing right for, but used still before COVID when I was doing it live in the car, I would be going through my opinion and perfecting it and making it better and like thinking about it and right. And so it gives you such a boost of confidence to know that when you open your mouth, you're going to start with something clever or funny or interesting, and you have a down, you got that thing.

00;36;34;11 - 00;36;54;08
Victoria Lioznyansky
That thing is like, whatever I say after that is whatever it is, but I got my beginning. It's going to be positive. And then you remember your bullet points that gives you such a sense of confidence. And another thing, another reason why you want to always memorize your bullet points, even if you have a PowerPoint presentation, is because, again, number one, technology is unreliable.

00;36;55;06 - 00;37;19;24
Victoria Lioznyansky
What if you don't have what if you can't pull up your presentation? This had happened before I knew my bullet points. I wasn't worried. Right. Or there is nothing like less attractive than somebody going through a bullet through a PowerPoint presentation and they clearly don't know the flow because they never memorized the bullet points. So they don't know the flow quite as well.

00;37;19;24 - 00;37;41;27
Victoria Lioznyansky
They they know they they use slides as a crutch and they keep looking at every slide and that's how they think that flow in. But if you have a feeling that if they don't know what the next slide is going to be like, they don't remember the whole flow because all they did was create the slides on thinking of them as a crutch that they're going to use in their speech.

00;37;41;27 - 00;38;03;25
Victoria Lioznyansky
So so my advice is to always know you flow in and out, but what you're going to say around each bullet point is is going to be different. You know, if every time you give a good speech because every time you're going to say slightly differently and that's okay, if a conversation, public speaking is not a lecture, is a conversation.

00;38;05;02 - 00;38;10;00
Victoria Lioznyansky
So you're going to have a conversation slightly different every time, but you're going to keep your flow going.

00;38;10;24 - 00;38;31;24
David Hall
Yeah, and you mentioned driving and that's where I get some of my best ideas. And, you know, I did have to kind of find a replacement for that because there was a it was about a year and a half. I mostly work from home and that was new for me. And I had to find a replacement where I got that really quiet time where I could think and driving has been that for me.

00;38;31;24 - 00;38;54;27
David Hall
Sometimes I joke that my work should pay for my drive time because you know, I might be solving some work problems and now I'm going in a couple of days a week and yeah, it's, it's, I might call myself hands free with this great thought that I had, you know, because that that is a time where we're just we can be separate and kind of recharge or really think of some great ideas.

00;38;55;06 - 00;39;05;03
Victoria Lioznyansky
Absolutely. And again, by going back to the strengths of an introvert off recharging when being alone and thinking things through, always take advantage of that time.

00;39;05;25 - 00;39;25;28
David Hall
Yeah. So, you know, you prepare for the actual physical environment, you prepare for what you're going to say. Sometimes we have a problem with the impromptu, like maybe there's going to be a Q&A where you have to answer questions that you may not be prepared for as an introvert. Victoria, how do you teach people to deal with that?

00;39;26;22 - 00;39;51;23
Victoria Lioznyansky
This is, I think, is the scariest thing. Let's just let's just be honest. Let's not sugarcoat that. This is a scary thing when you know that you have to speak completely impromptu. It's scary. You know, you may be invited to speak on the podcast. Right. And then the host says, we'll just still just chat. Right. For a lot of people, this is a scary thought.

00;39;51;23 - 00;40;17;08
Victoria Lioznyansky
Oh, my gosh. What if they ask me something? I don't know. Let's get that out of the way. If somebody asks you something that you truly don't know, like have no clue, even if it's embarrassing, even if it's something that you're kind of supposed to know, but you really don't don't number one, don't try to make it up because, I mean, God forbid you say something completely off and then you'll really make yourself look bad.

00;40;17;08 - 00;40;36;29
Victoria Lioznyansky
So if somebody asked you a question you don't know, the easiest way to say is the truth is such a great question. You know, I'm not sure I can answer it right now, but let me look it up just to make sure that I'm giving you the correct information and I'll get back to you. Right. That's a good work meeting.

00;40;37;13 - 00;41;03;06
Victoria Lioznyansky
Reply If this is more like maybe you were given a presentation on stage, right, and, and you like Q&A and then somebody ask you something you don't know, you'll never see them again, right? Again. You don't know. You don't know. Such a great question. You know, I don't often get questions that make me not being able to answer or, you know, come up with something clever.

00;41;03;06 - 00;41;24;23
Victoria Lioznyansky
Isn't that the Spaniards and that but this is that time I'm so sorry. I don't know how to answer it. And, you know, sometimes it's appropriate to say, let's see, maybe raise your hand if you know the answer. And sometimes it's not and you just leave it at that. Don't be scared to say I don't know. We don't know everything.

00;41;25;11 - 00;41;52;10
Victoria Lioznyansky
Even if you are an expert at a certain specific thing, even this an that's is still may not know everything about it and if you start trying to come up with an answer that's not correct. It's always worse than honestly admitting it. But if somebody asks you questions that you do know, the answer to the skill here is because it's impromptu, right?

00;41;52;10 - 00;42;15;14
Victoria Lioznyansky
You didn't you didn't have a chance to get prepared. You here is a question. A lot of times you can by yourself just a few seconds to think about it by saying something like that to such great question. I love this. So, guys, the question is you reiterate that you just bought yourself a good 10 seconds, as you're saying, all of that.

00;42;15;27 - 00;42;31;08
Victoria Lioznyansky
Remember, are multitask as we can think while we are talking right. You are your brain. The thinking asked, what am I going to start with? What is going to be the first thing I'm going to say? You don't need to think. You don't have time to think. So it was a whole thing, you know, beginning a middle end, right?

00;42;31;08 - 00;42;53;09
Victoria Lioznyansky
You just don't have time. You're answering the question. But as you are buying yourselves a few seconds, you're thinking, what is going to be the first thing logically? What's the best thing I'm going to say first? That's all you need to think through. And then you start answering. You're saying that's first thing that you are, that you start off real quick and as you're saying it, you're thinking, okay, what's the next thing I'm going to say?

00;42;54;28 - 00;43;20;02
Victoria Lioznyansky
You build the next steppingstone. Then you think, what's going to be the next thing next steppingstone. If you're if somebody is asking you like a question that you don't have the immediate answer to, this is the best way. You keep on thinking as you go and you keep on building this little pass or wait creek was a little stepping stones until you seize and then you like, I know exactly where I'm going with this and you finish.

00;43;20;24 - 00;43;22;25
David Hall
Yeah this is.

00;43;23;08 - 00;43;57;20
Victoria Lioznyansky
Everyone can do it now when you cannot do it is when you're going frantic. Oh somebody just has a question. What if I don't answer if you spend those 5 seconds working yourself up? What did he think? I don't know. And you think what if I answer is you just wasted those 5 seconds being silly, right? Whereas you should have been spending them thinking what's going to be the first thing I'm going to say and there is nothing somebody can ask you that you either cannot answer or you cannot say, Great question.

00;43;58;05 - 00;44;17;15
Victoria Lioznyansky
I just don't know the answer. But it's a wonderful question. You know, think and I'm not funny on demand. Sometimes I'm fine. Yeah, sometimes I'm making jokes. Sometimes I'm like, not funny on demand, but if I was in that situation where I knew I have a very big potential of people asking questions, I'm not going to have an answer.

00;44;18;09 - 00;44;34;23
Victoria Lioznyansky
I'm going to think through something funny to say in that specific situation. So I'm going to have some some sort of a joke, something to say. I don't have an answer, but it's going to be in the find your way. You think people are going to be thinking that, oh, my gosh, I don't even understand what she's doing on stage.

00;44;34;23 - 00;45;06;22
Victoria Lioznyansky
She doesn't know anything. No. People are going to think she's so wonderful. She is so funny and things that I didn't know the answer because by you being confident, being able to hold a conversation with your audience, you've already proved to them that you are an expert and they have every right to admire you. And you not answering one question is not going to change that.

00;45;07;05 - 00;45;34;06
Victoria Lioznyansky
But as far as impromptu in general, you have to remind yourself before that I am very smart. I'm an expert in what I do. I know my field. If somebody asks me, you know, about something I have no idea about, like plumbing. It's not my field. And it's okay if I say no, but anything to ask me that's within my knowledge, my area of expertize.

00;45;35;17 - 00;45;58;22
Victoria Lioznyansky
I will have a wonderful conversation with that. And they're going to they're going to truly admire me for who I am and what I am and what I bring to the table, what I teach them, what I chose them, what they how they benefit from me. That's the mindset. So mindset is not what if I don't have anything to say?

00;45;58;22 - 00;46;09;03
Victoria Lioznyansky
No, the mindset is I'm going to have something to say because I know what I'm talking about. I know my field is just a matter of figuring out what to start with.

00;46;09;03 - 00;46;35;23
David Hall
Yeah. And that's the confidence right there. Is. It is. There's a reason why you're speaking at that work meeting or at the conference or whatever it is you're doing because you have something to offer. And I think that's for introverts. I do. You know where I'm an expert, like on this topic of introversion, I'm not struggling for something to say, you know, and so I love how you put that, that we can bring that into there and really give us confidence.

00;46;35;23 - 00;46;55;24
David Hall
But at the same time, if there's something you really don't know, it's okay. Give yourself a break. Don't beat yourself up. You know, you gave some great strategies for that. Yeah. So in the bio, you also just talked about giving a captivating speech. How how do you teach people to do that? What's. What makes a captivating speech?

00;46;56;14 - 00;47;28;02
Victoria Lioznyansky
Oh, such such a huge conversation. But yeah, let me give you just one really important nugget here. Okay The way you captivate your audience. Let's let's talk about this word captivate. What does it mean captivate? Captivate means that not only they're listening to you and they can't take the eyes of you or they can't stop listening, and they just so in the moment, they're completely wrapped up in that conversation.

00;47;28;02 - 00;48;00;25
Victoria Lioznyansky
Not only that, but also when they leave, they keep on thinking about it. That's captivating, right? How do they do that? It feels so hard and so only few people probably can do it. And, you know, five people, the world. No, anybody can learn to do it. And the way you do it is you focus on what you want your audience to feel.

00;48;02;16 - 00;48;32;18
Victoria Lioznyansky
You don't focus on what you're going to say. You don't focus on what they want to hear. You only focus on how you want to make them feel. And I, I there is a famous quote. I can't think of it right away, but it's basically people forget what you said. People forget what you did, but people never forget how you made them feel.

00;48;33;09 - 00;48;33;22
David Hall
Right?

00;48;34;25 - 00;49;03;26
Victoria Lioznyansky
If you want to deliver a truly captivating presentation as you're preparing for it, the biggest question you need to ask yourself is How do I want to make them feel? And if you're able to create that feeling in them, real feeling, not just, Oh, I just learned something amazing, but real feeling where they feel like you moved them.

00;49;04;09 - 00;49;26;14
Victoria Lioznyansky
They feel like you've they've changed from the moment you opened your mouth to the moment you stopped speaking. If you're able to create that shift, if you're able to create that feeling, they will be captivated. They will walk out of there and next days they'll be still thinking about you. And that's the magic.

00;49;27;07 - 00;49;32;28
David Hall
Yeah, that's beautiful. And so that's what it is. It's really helping them. It's not all about you, right?

00;49;33;07 - 00;49;34;10
Victoria Lioznyansky
It's not about, you know.

00;49;34;18 - 00;49;47;29
David Hall
Helping them figure out, you know, feel what those things that you want to have them walk away with. Right. That's amazing. So tell us a little bit more about the brilliant Speakers Academy.

00;49;49;07 - 00;50;50;29
Victoria Lioznyansky
Bringing Speakers Academy was the core digital course that I built a few years ago, and I had a lot of students go through it and it became the foundation for my coaching program, Brilliance, because Accelerator, which is all about helping people like you, high level professionals, entrepreneurs, people who are good at what they do but need to learn how to be able to show the world that they are confident, compelling and captivating speakers and be able to speak in meetings, on Zoom, on stage, etc. So my coaching program helps people get to that point without faking it, without, you know, pushing through the fear, but by actually learning how to not appear confident but how

00;50;50;29 - 00;51;24;22
Victoria Lioznyansky
to feel confident on the inside. That's what my program is all about learning how to feel confident and teaching you how to take that confidence and become a confident, compelling and captivating speaker. And really, as I said before, it's a skill. It's a skill that anybody can acquire. It's all about learning it, internalizing it, practicing it, and making that become who you are.

00;51;24;22 - 00;51;28;23
Victoria Lioznyansky
And that's basically what my program does.

00;51;30;07 - 00;51;54;28
David Hall
Amazing. And, you know, I hopefully we busted the myth for everyone that's listening introverts can be brilliant speakers and you just got to get to know your strengths and also your needs and what you have to offer. And there are some strategies that you've talked about and there's many more I could talk with you all day. Victoria, this has been a wonderful conversation.

00;51;56;13 - 00;52;00;12
David Hall
If people want to find out more about the great work that you're doing, how do they get a hold of you?

00;52;01;22 - 00;52;27;21
Victoria Lioznyansky
You can come to my website. Yeah w w that by Victoria L dot com again it's "b" "y" Victoria "L" for Lioznyansky - see, I'm not making a spell it that dot com. And you can click on how to work with me and that's where you can read about brilliant speakers accelerate the coaching program. You can also grab my quick training.

00;52;27;22 - 00;52;46;04
Victoria Lioznyansky
It's a video training that only takes a few minutes to listen to, and it's going to really help you to get go in to start feeling a little more confident in what you do. And it's w w w that by Victoria ELLE.com slash training.

00;52;47;15 - 00;52;49;24
David Hall
Very nice and I will put that in the show notes as well.

00;52;50;01 - 00;52;50;24
Victoria Lioznyansky
Thank you.

00;52;51;06 - 00;52;58;20
David Hall
It's been a pleasure to have you on the show and I know that people listening will greatly benefit because we can be great speakers. So thanks again, Victoria.

00;52;58;28 - 00;53;00;09
Victoria Lioznyansky
You're welcome. Thank you.

00;53;01;12 - 00;53;26;09
David Hall
Thank you so much for joining me today. I look forward to further connecting with you. Reach out at David at Quiet and strong dot com. Check out the website quiet and strong dot com. I'll add social media channels for me and my guest to the show notes. Please comment on social media posts. Send me topics or guests you'd like to see on the show.

00;53;26;24 - 00;53;41;24
David Hall
There's so many great things about being an introvert, and so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.