Ep 172 - Activating An Abundance Mindset, Especially for Introverts with Kate Hunter

Are you ready to unlock the transformative power of your subconscious?

In this inspiring episode, host David Hall welcomes Kate Hunter, a Executive Mindset & Success coach to share strategies to activate authentic potential and carve out success on your own terms. Throughout their conversation, Kate shares insightful tactics for turning subconscious behaviors into conscious choices that enhance personal growth and energy management.

You will learn about the importance of setting boundaries with love, changing limiting belief systems, and embracing an abundance mindset to fully tap into your unique potential, especially as an introvert or highly sensitive person (HSP).

This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to break free from self-sabotaging thoughts and embrace a journey of self-discovery and transformation. Tune in to discover how to redefine your life's purpose, manage your energy more effectively, and be strong.

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/172

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As a former burnt-out teacher and recovering Corporate perfectionist, Kate Hunter knows all too well what it's like to deny your true essence over and over again. That is until she finally got her wake up call in 2012: that life truly begins when you embrace who you are, harness your strengths, and build life on your terms. For Kate, this includes full acceptance of her introversion, intuition and other elements of her Highly sensitive nature. 

She has harnessed the power from all of these life lessons and self realizations, alongside her 20+ years in the learning and development space and channeled this into her own business. She now passionately offers a variety of Coaching, Learning and Development, and Well-being solutions to help individuals and organizations to harness their true potential and carve out aligned Success on their terms.

Kate believes Introversion and highly sensitive traits are a partnership that work beautifully alongside her obsession with neuroscience, learning, and the energy world, which allow her to facilitate deeper levels of learning, shifts in consciousness and more aligned transformations for her clients.

Connect with Kate on LinkedIn
Kate's Website: kate-hunter.com 

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Contact the Host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com
Gobio.link/quietandstrong
david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Transcript

Kate Hunter [00:00:00]:
You know, you are not a done deal. You are evolving through this lifetime constantly, But you get to choose. You get to choose your path. Not society, not loved ones, not everyone else. And you don't know what you don't know. And 97% of, you know, how we're experiencing the world and how we're behaving in this world is subconscious. And until we make the subconscious conscious as Jung says, you know, we we don't, we just call it fate. We just say all these things are happening to me and we can play the victim, etcetera.

Kate Hunter [00:00:35]:
And it's it's not that way. There is a lot of strength in in knowing and building our own awareness and then the choices that come with it.

David Hall [00:00:57]:
Hello, and welcome to episode 172 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quiet and strong dot com. It's a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review or rating. That would mean a lot to me.

David Hall [00:01:22]:
Tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there. The introversion is a beautiful thing. As a former burnt out teacher and recovering corporate perfectionist, Kate Hunter knows all too well what it's like to deny your true essence over and over again. That is until she finally had her wake up call in 2012 that life truly begins when you embrace who you are, harness your strengths, and build life on your terms. For Kate, this includes full acceptance of her introversion, intuition, and other elements of her highly sensitive nature. She has harnessed the power from all of these life lessons and self realizations alongside her 20 plus years in the learning and development space and channeled this into her own business. She now passionately offers a variety of coaching, learning and development, and well-being solutions to help individuals and organizations to harness their true potential and carve out aligned success on their terms. Kate believes introversion and highly sensitive traits are a partnership that work beautifully alongside her session with neuroscience, learning in the energy world, which allow her to facilitate deeper levels of learning, shifts in consciousness, and more aligned transformations for her clients.

David Hall [00:02:45]:
Alright. Well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, Kate. Kate, it's so good to have you on today.

Kate Hunter [00:02:51]:
Thank you so much for having me, David. Absolute pleasure. It's just something I'm really passionate about, so I'm just kinda keen to get into it today.

David Hall [00:02:59]:
Alright. Well, we're gonna talk about the great work that you do. But first, let's just talk a little bit more about your journey. Tell us about being an introvert and a highly sensitive person and your journey to now doing the work that you do.

Kate Hunter [00:03:13]:
Yeah. It's, it's one of those things, right, that hindsight is a beautiful thing. And actually, reflecting on the question that we we've talked about previously is like, you know, when did you find out that you were introvert and HSP? And for me for me, there were 2 decades apart. So I spent most of my childhood when I look back now and can recognize those traits now that I was definitely introvert, but I was also a highly sensitive child, and I masked that for years. I misunderstood myself for years. So I really denied the true essence of a walk that I am until the later stages in my life. So I was trying to map it out. It's like, when exactly did this this kind of realisation happen? And I really believe that I lived a life pending I was an extrovert or assuming I was an extrovert until I was late twenties.

Kate Hunter [00:04:10]:
You know, all the classics, all the classic misconceptions about introversion, things like that, and extroversion. And it was like, well, I like performing arts. So and I like singing and I like being on stage. So therefore I must be quite extrovert. And I was given some labels along these lines along the way. And it's like, oh, she she likes to show off or she likes to do this. And it's I took on board those. But actually, as we know, it's it's completely different and it's definitely about energy management and, you know, the way that you process the world and things and the way that you need kind of sets up your life in order to thrive.

Kate Hunter [00:04:46]:
And so I kind of treaded this path of like misunderstanding myself for a long time as many of us do. And, that question, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me is is one that just haunted me around every corner because I went from, you know, being that child, developing perfectionism, you know, through throughout school, just having this sense of trying to dial up this extroversion or something or other that I didn't know I was or wasn't. But I'd have these periods of, like, boom and bust, and I'd have these really crash times where my physical body was showing me that the way I was living wasn't congruent to who I really was. And it was just, you know, more labels, essentially. It's, you know, fatigue or she's she gets a lot of illness or why she's so poorly and, oh, she must be anaemic. And, you know, again, none of this kind of makes sense to to yourself when you're kinda growing up. And then it was, you know, going into I went into following my passions around education learning, and I became a teacher. Again, I look back now and realize that the teaching environment didn't suit me as as a highly sensitive person and introvert because that space is quite in is intense.

Kate Hunter [00:06:05]:
So, you know, that high sensitivity around overstimulation, around, depth of processing, emotional responsivity, and being in that empath, being in that classroom all day long with 33 children and then answering to parents, etcetera, was a lot on my nervous system. And for the introvert within, that was still not yet acknowledged. It was it was very difficult, and that would manifest through periods of illness again. So every half term, every break for the holidays, I would just be wiped out by some sort of illness. And again, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? Thinking it was like a physical thing somehow. And then I moved into the corporate world and as many of us do come across the Myers Briggs. Right? We've I've heard it on many of your podcasts before. It's like that is sometimes the introduction into having this light bulb moment.

Kate Hunter [00:07:08]:
And for me, it was halfway there. I think I was 50% there, but I still a little bit in denial of, well, really? Am I introvert? Like, INFJ. You're INTJ. Is that right?

David Hall [00:07:22]:
That's right. Yes.

Kate Hunter [00:07:24]:
Yeah. Yeah. So similar. Very similar, but I'm the kind of feeling side of things too. And and that really rang true to me is that I felt so deeply about things. I felt so deeply about the world, and it got in my way of living sometimes. I would feel so deeply. And as a child, I would feel so deeply and project myself into the future about the what ifs this would happen and what if that would happen.

Kate Hunter [00:07:50]:
And I'd almost bring it into the now and feel it intensely now. And I still have to watch that. I still have to watch that tendency, that trait to, to go deeper than is necessarily helpful living a day to day human life. So, Myers Briggs told me I was an introvert. But at the time, I was working in learning development. I was still the kind of the face of things. And I was out delivering workshops. I was delivering sales conferences and I was standing on stages and I kept thinking, well, how can I be if I can do this? I'm doing this.

Kate Hunter [00:08:30]:
Look at me. I'm I'm doing this. And, you know, people would say, she's got lots of confidence and, you know, she can be out there. But again, behind closed doors, I was experiencing this absolute, this this moment of, like, woah. This has really hit me, and I've now got a sore throat. And so, again, my physical body speaking, and just feeling so tired, bone weary tired, and not understanding. So it was like it was there. It was 50% coming at the point of corporate world.

Kate Hunter [00:09:06]:
And then and then in order to make sure I fully understand understood the essence of myself that I've been denying, the universe brought me a brilliant assignment, which was around flattering myself into a role that wasn't aligned to me. Wasn't truly authentic. Wasn't playing to my strengths, and was high pressure. And that's when I burnt out, and it was 2012. And so burnout for me was a real opportunity. It was the making of me, really. You know, it was the real opportunity to get to the grassroots of, who am I? What's going on? What do I really need in order to thrive? Actually turn that question around a bit. You know, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? It's like, no.

Kate Hunter [00:09:59]:
What's strong with me? Like, quiet and strong. Right? What's

David Hall [00:10:03]:
strong with me?

Kate Hunter [00:10:04]:
Not what's wrong with me? It's not mine. It's from somewhere else. It's probably from the 1,000 books I've read on this topic, but so I can't credit it, but it stuck with me. It's like, what's strong with me? So I tried to build the foundations up again. It was a real reset, and it and it worked beautifully for a while until I had my son, and then I had another pivotal moment. You know, we have these pivotal moments in life, don't we? And then it was really brought to the head because I've got this child who's also highly sensitive and introvert, and the world doesn't understand. And so for me, that that that gave me that renewed passion to not just advocate for myself, but to advocate for him. And there's nothing like a mother's love to do that, to put the fire under something and and really, really start to walk the walk and say no.

Kate Hunter [00:11:03]:
Like, you have to embrace yourself fully until you actually Dolly Parton says, you you know, I've got her quote in one of my handbooks. It's like, find out who you are, then do it on purpose. But if we're all starting from this place of living, what I call a prescribed life, where you're told what to do and who you are and who you should be, you're not really fully living. You're not embracing your strengths. You're not embracing your gifts. You're hiding out, and you're trying to find a way to survive and not actually thrive in this world. So my son, 2015, so burnout, 2012, 2015, he was born. It was just like this beautiful mix of catalyst events that happened to get me out there and get me thinking differently and being differently.

Kate Hunter [00:11:57]:
And that's when I decided, right, I wanna work for myself. I wanna find out who I am and what I can bring. What's my purpose? What's my mission? And then I wanna do this on purpose. But on my terms because I get to decide my days and my the ways that I manage my energy, etcetera. And that's super important, as an introvert and as a highly sensitive person. That is what supports me, and that is what supports my son as well.

David Hall [00:12:31]:
Oh, I love that. What's strong with me? I I love that. I'm gonna use that too. So many guests I've had on the show felt like something was wrong with them. So what? How did you figure out what was strong with you? Like, what are your strengths because you're an introvert or a highly sensitive person?

Kate Hunter [00:12:54]:
So I think they they both dovetail nicely together. You know, there's there's unique strengths within diversion, and there's the unique strengths of the HSP, and that kind of blend for me. I realized that that sensitivity is what makes me really good as a coach. You know, that intuition, that level of intuition that I have, is off the scale. So some might say that my blend of, you know, I have I'm really passionate about neuroscience and understanding the brain and the nervous system and how it works. But I'm also quite spiritual. And, you know, I know that I am very, very in tune with people. And as a child, I was very in tune with the energy around me.

Kate Hunter [00:13:44]:
And I would receive messages. You know, I have to call it as it is. I would receive messages about life and about things that were gonna happen. And I believe that I still work with that now. So because I'm working with energy too, in coaching, we are here to listen and receive and raise awareness with that individual. And a lot of that exchange will happen through words, but it also happened on that energy level. And it's sometimes a case of saying, I'm hearing you're you're saying this when you're peeping back to them, this isn't this, but I'm sensing that there's also something about this. And usually what people will say, oh, how do you know that? Like, this is how how Kate, this is just, you know, haven't mentioned that to anybody or the the the the the it's like getting underneath the root of that.

Kate Hunter [00:14:37]:
And I think I well, I believe that's the strength of my level of intuition and that energetic exchange that happens, that high sensitivity, that processing that happens for me because I'm taking in so much stimulus. I'm also taking a lot of that in to do with the way that their facial expressions are or the way that their eyes flicker or, and it's all happening on a subconscious level for me. So that's what I'm passionate about helping other people do as well. It's not just introverts and HSPs I work with, but funnily enough, many people come to me and through the unpicking of the process of finding out who you are and then doing it on purpose. I do meet a lot of intraments and attracts a lot of HSPs into my world because of that that chemistry that happens within a discovery call for coaching session, for, for example. And I've helped many people actually for the first time in their lives discover that. And that's a beautiful moment because they've been living in the dark. They've been asking that question, what's wrong with me? And then they can start.

Kate Hunter [00:15:52]:
They have this, like, epiphany moment where they're like, oh, this makes sense. This makes sense why I see the world this way, why I experienced the world this way, why I need things a certain way. And this I'm not broken. I'm not weak. There is actually nothing wrong with me. There's just a way of being in this world, and that's what I help them figure out is okay. So now you know that. How does this impact the way that you live? How do you design your life on your terms and ditch the template that came before?

David Hall [00:16:30]:
Yeah. And I I often say it's there was never anything wrong with me and my introversion, but what was wrong was I didn't understand myself. That was what was wrong. I'm very intuitive as well, so, like, either intjorinfp. The n, you know, because the I is already taken, stands for intuitive.

Kate Hunter [00:16:52]:
And, you

David Hall [00:16:53]:
know, it is interesting. It is a gift that some people have, and people do say, how do you know that? I just do. But it's it's interesting because, you know, I'm not a highly sensitive person. My letter is t. It's more analytical. So I am intuitive, but it it comes in a more logical way, which has its gifts. In your case, you know, you definitely can sense the feelings of others, and it's more of a feeling type of thing. And that has its strengths as well.

David Hall [00:17:20]:
And it's just half of us in the world are introverts, but there's so many different gifts that we each have, and that's what we need to understand. And that's why whether someone's a highly sensitive person or or what whatever, we need to talk about all of our gifts and how we can bring those into the world because there's a reason why we're created differently. We need each other's gifts.

Kate Hunter [00:17:46]:
Absolutely. It's it's it's like the natural ingredients that make us, isn't it? But it's like until we understand what they are, we can't actually lead with them. We can't lead with these things. We're just hiding them away. And and it's yeah, I mean, there's so many subsections of introversion, as you say, and it's it's not a one size fits all. So that's why the coaching kind of side of things really supports an individual because it's not just about working with their version. It's it's about all the other things. You know, a lot of people come to me with, you know, a massive pot of neurodiverse elements within their character, and it's important to acknowledge those too.

Kate Hunter [00:18:31]:
But I think it's the awareness piece. Once you build your awareness of something, you know, your traits, your preferences, your styles, then you can work with it. But you don't know what you don't know. And 97% of, you know, how we're experiencing the world and how we're behaving in this world is subconscious. And until we make the subconscious conscious as Jung says, you know, we, we don't, we just call it fate. We just say all these things are happening to me and we can play the victim, etcetera. And it's, it's not that way. There is a lot of strength in in knowing and building our own awareness and then the choices that come with it.

Kate Hunter [00:19:12]:
Right? So many people feel that they could only be in a certain way and because they don't fit that box. It's like, what do I do? Or there's no other option for me. And I said, no, absolutely not. There's many different ways you can earn a living or, you know, follow your purpose or whatever it may be. But until you look at your choices, you know, your your sub in yourself saboteurs are gonna play play this game, and they're gonna tell you that you have no options and that you're stuck and that there are no choices left for you. And and I'm not on board with that because I'm empathetic towards that because I've been there, but I'm not on board with that as a choice. You know, that is a choice in itself to ignore all the information and to to go with it. But we need to be embracing that, taking responsibility for it.

David Hall [00:20:16]:
On this show, we definitely talk about strengths like we are, and probably still continue to talk about strengths, but we also bust myths. Is there a myth about introversion you wanna bust today?

Kate Hunter [00:20:27]:
Yeah. I think that that whole I mean, just the classic around, introverts must be quiet and shy and weak and and, you know, all those other things. As I say, that's the reason why I didn't think I was an introvert all those years ago because I was on a stage. And you must be extrovert if you are out there. And it's it is such a myth, and it's so unhelpful because it's like this persona of this weak, mild introvert that must kinda stay away from people and doesn't socialise is just utter rubbish. Utter rubbish. It's not until you speak to people and really get to the heart of how they need to recuperate their energy and how they what their preferences are around, you know, if they have those moments of being on stage or heading up a meeting, it's like, how do you dovetail that with things that support you? And I think a lot of people do that naturally without realising. But when you bring awareness to it, you can start to actually be the designer, you know, lead your diary rather than your diary just leading you.

Kate Hunter [00:21:46]:
And then you can see the effects on the energy. The energy battery piece is is big, isn't it? It's like, you know what? No. These these characters are not we're we're not weak and mild. We're just very conscious of our energy battery and what affects that. What I always get people regardless of who they are, how their awareness about themselves. I, one of the activities I get them to do is really simple and it is just like figure out what energizes you and what depletes you. And you can literally do that with a piece of paper, put a line down the middle and just have a column saying what energizes me, what depletes me energetically. And it's amazing what awareness just comes from that activity for some people when they've been saying, I'm so tired, I'm so drained, I'm demotivated, my spark's gone.

Kate Hunter [00:22:41]:
And they just have that moment of realization. And then I get them to look at, you know, people. What kind of people energize you, deplete you? And, again, that realization comes in, and they're like, I've been living in the depletion zone. I've been my my diary, my weeks are built around depletion, and I'm not proactively including elements of things that will energize me, things that restore me and replenish me. And for me, you know, again, when I'm out of kilter, that's the kind of audit that I need to do. Having a look at where I've been spending my time, how I've been spending my time, and how have I been proactively recuperating, recharging, or not at all in some cases. And then you can build yourself back again. You can bring yourself back from that.

David Hall [00:23:42]:
Yeah. I love that. So we can absolutely put more activities into our life that energize us. You know, we can build a better life for ourselves. There's always gonna be things that we do that do drain us, always. But by doing that, you can make a plan. You know? If you're like, you know what? I'm gonna actually enjoy this thing I'm doing, but I need to build in time to recharge after. Kate, I I love this conversation we're having, but, I have at least a hour after if I need to recharge.

David Hall [00:24:17]:
And it doesn't mean I'm not enjoying it because I absolutely am. You know? And then the other piece of it, I definitely have to prepare ahead of time, you know, and think about, okay. What's what do I want in this conversation? But we can build more things that energize us. And, you know, a myth I'll bust is that not all people drain me. You know? Some people actually energize me. And then just on the performance part, I that's a really good one to bust because we have a lot to share. You know? We're always thinking. We're always you know, we're tuned inward more than than not.

David Hall [00:24:54]:
You know, I'm not a dancer, but I love to give public speeches. And, you know, people are always trying to say, oh, introverts. They, you know, they don't wanna do that. I'm like, actually, a lot of public speakers famous public speakers are introverts because we're always thinking, and we just have to learn how we best prepare and how we need to manage our energy around it. And that, you know, could go for public speaking or performing like you're talking about, and that's a really good one to bust. And a lot of actors and actresses are introverts, and it's just

Kate Hunter [00:25:28]:
Yeah. I mean, comedians and things is

David Hall [00:25:30]:
Yeah. I think I think more than more than half are comedians or introverts because all the all the thinking that you have to do around that.

Kate Hunter [00:25:41]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Something just came into my mind, David, when you were speaking, and it was, you know, around the coaching piece as well. For me, it's not a performance, it's not public speaking, but it isn't an energy exchange that requires deep connection and, and deep listening. So I have to be mindful too of the fact that although I love doing it, I absolutely love doing it. And there's a part of it that really energises me. Usually holding space for somebody being empathetic to holding space for somebody and hearing some of the things that they need to work through for themselves and I'm actually walking them through that process. Actually, I need to manage that too.

Kate Hunter [00:26:32]:
So I don't do more than 2 coaching sessions per day because I've had times in the past where I've done 3 or 4 and it feels good in the moment. And then I experienced this this crash or almost an introvert hangover. It's also called, isn't it? It is. So it's really important as a coach to to to manage my energy. And I often build in a bit of ritual time around that. So a crate, great little rituals before I'm going into a coaching session to really ground my energy and to be in the space, but also to protect my energy too, to make sure that I'm not, the phrases, observe, don't absorb. Right? So I'm not absorbing somebody else's energy. What's for them or their events, their experiences.

Kate Hunter [00:27:26]:
Although it's not therapy and there's a definite line ethically with that, Some people will have big emotions through what they're talking about to do with their realizations to do with themselves and things. So holding space is is something that you need to prepare for if you're an intro at an HSP. And again, that surprises some people because they're like, well, you love it. And I'm like, I do love it. You work from home, Kayne. You're not in a busy place. It's like, oh, that's correct. Do it from home.

Kate Hunter [00:27:59]:
But I'm also mindful and respectful that it does have an impact on me. And so it makes sense that I manage it this way.

David Hall [00:28:10]:
Yeah. And that's what you have to figure out, you know, is is what How can you bring your gifts, but how can you also manage your energy around your gifts? That's very, very important. That's one thing that I I learned is definitely as I was figuring out I was an introvert, I'm also figuring out I can't be everywhere and be available at all times to all people. You know, there has to be some boundaries there, And that's that's been life changing for me.

Kate Hunter [00:28:41]:
Boundaries are super cute, aren't they? They're just absolutely I'm getting really honest with what your boundaries are and what you need, and then sticking to those. Again, I don't do coaching in the evenings because of boundaries because, well, that's first of all, it's family time, but also I know I'm not on my best form in the evenings. My battery is draining, ready for bedtime. And that would not be that would not be of service to the person I was coaching, but it also wouldn't be service to me. So create that boundary, you know, with love, you can create the boundaries with love. And, that's just the way it is. And I don't break that boundary as as tempting as it would be. They break that boundary.

Kate Hunter [00:29:26]:
And and I say to people when they're creating their new boundaries, it's like, expect to have people and circumstances to come along and test you on them to see how firm you are on those. You know? And it's going to take practice to repeat back to people. You know, when I worked in corporate and I went back after maternity, I worked 4 days a week. And I'd have to have a firm boundary around I don't work Mondays. And I don't work Mondays just became a, oh, that's great. I I don't work Mondays, but I can do this for you. You know, I can do this instead. So, yeah, boundaries take a lot of practice, but super, super important for us.

Kate Hunter [00:30:14]:
Absolutely. 100%.

David Hall [00:30:17]:
So tell us more about the coaching work you do, especially for that person that maybe is where you were that isn't feeling like they're doing what they're meant to do. How do you help that person?

Kate Hunter [00:30:33]:
So the first step is giving people permission to explore. So I have a lot of I work with a lot of one to one clients. I do I work with organisations as well in learning development departments and things, and, I love the work that I do there to make sure that we're providing inclusive learning experiences to everybody, etcetera. But my one to one clients often sneak into my LinkedIn inbox. And, you know, often they're senior executives. They might be CEOs. The you know, they've really risen the ranks, and they are feeling still this question, what's wrong with me? Right? So I'm I'm finally at this pinnacle of where I thought I wanted to be, and it's I still don't feel happy. I don't feel energized.

Kate Hunter [00:31:21]:
I don't feel passionate. I'm disconnected. I feel stuck. And so that first step is permission to explore. Give yourself permission to explore. And that lands because usually they've been creating a bit of a prison for themselves. They put themselves in a box, and they they've told themselves, like I said before, that they've got no options. So the first step is explore.

Kate Hunter [00:31:49]:
The second step so explore is really about going back to grassroots. You know, in my programme, there's a process for that. You're rediscovering who you are and your values, your strengths, your uniqueness, all of those things, which seem for some people, they're like, no, I know this. And they're like, really? I haven't looked at this since I was, you know, whatever age, 20 years ago or something. Everything's changed since then. So permission to explore. It is there's a running thread through the program around deservability and the mindset piece, because the thoughts that you think are everything. You know, your thoughts create your feelings, that create your behaviors, that create the way that you show up in this world.

Kate Hunter [00:32:33]:
And if you are living thoughts, belief systems that you created when you were a child, because our belief systems are our core belief systems are set by the age of 7, which is so early. So there is a possibility that you are living in this world with belief systems that your child self created about you, about what's possible for you and about the world itself. So we look at the belief systems and we look at the mindset piece and the thoughts process. And I'm starting to blend in some positive intelligence work with that because our internal saboteurs rule the show unless we reframe it, unless we take charge and take the power back. And then I'm gonna

David Hall [00:33:23]:
give you an example of some thoughts that might be holding somebody back?

Kate Hunter [00:33:27]:
Yeah. Absolutely. So, I am not enough. So there are core belief systems that you could literally track any thought back to, our belief systems that aren't helpful in this world. So usually, it's around I am not enough, but it belongs somehow, or it's not possible for me. So I am not I am not enough kind of thoughts are people who say things like, well, I have syndrome, which is a little bit of a bugbear of mine because you don't have impostor syndrome. It's not your identity. It's actually that you've got some belief systems that are hardwired potentially that create these feelings.

Kate Hunter [00:34:07]:
So they will say things like, you know, I'm worried about being found out or I'm a fraud. And these are quite big statements, but they are thoughts, and they are only thoughts, and thoughts can be changed. Belief systems are just thoughts that we thought over and over again, usually with a strong emotion attached. So in childhood, something happened to us. I remember one particular childhood memory. I was taking Blu Tack. You know, we call it Blu Tack, but it's like sticky stuff that goes on the back of posters and things like that to put them on.

David Hall [00:34:44]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Kate Hunter [00:34:45]:
And I was at nursery, so I was probably only about 4. So this is a prime age for when our belief systems, our core beliefs and systems are being set. And I was in nursery, clearly being curious. Can look I can look back now and think this child was being curious. I was being curious, and I was taking this blue tack off the back of posters, and I was feeling it. Right? Sensory. Highly sensitive child, stimulus, sensory. I was feeling it and I was collecting it.

Kate Hunter [00:35:16]:
It felt good. And along comes the teacher and she shouted at me, and she told me that I was bad and that I was stealing and that I was wrong. And so your child self, high emotion, high sensory experience, embodies that and creates a belief system. I need to be right. I have to get it right is what I interpreted from that scenario. I have to get it right. I can't have to please, and I have to be good. And that led to perfectionism.

Kate Hunter [00:35:48]:
I'm not saying that just one event, but that belief system, beliefs are sticky. So other things came along and gave me new evidence that I needed to be good and I needed to be right, and I needed to always get it perfect. And it cascades from there. And, you know, people in their twenties, thirties, forties come to me with these really when we unpick it, these really, really strong belief systems about themselves. And sometimes they can't re this is the first time they're articulating it out loud properly, and they're really surprised at how strong it is. Unless I say, it's not about therapy, but sometimes it's it's quite can be quite obvious where an incident might have happened, like I explained, where it's just your child self that embodied that. So it's time to reframe it. It's time to change it.

Kate Hunter [00:36:36]:
Thanks to neuroplasticity, we can do that. So I work with them as the journey to identify their beliefs and to change them over time. And that is about bringing day to day awareness into the moment that you're in and calling it out. So choose again. Right. So you you recognize it? I think Jay Shetty's got a an acronym, but I can I always find it difficult to forget, so I just call it choose again? But it's like stop spot it, stop it, swap it. Well, I'm like, just choose again as the fast way. Choose again.

Kate Hunter [00:37:14]:
So identify what the thought is. Oh, I just thought this. Okay. Is that helpful to me or not helpful to me? What's more realistic here? And then through practice, you start to build new belief systems. What am I choosing to believe now? And over time, you embed that new neural pathway. And I say to people, it's a bit like learning how to write. You know, when you're a child, you don't have the the new neural pathways to be able to write straight away. You have to learn how to pick up a pencil, write letters, form, and all the while that repetition is building the new pathway so that now we can just pick up pen or pencil and just just write.

Kate Hunter [00:38:02]:
But if I ask you now to write with your non dominant hand, it would feel clunky, and it would like it's like going back to basics again. And the the neural pathways aren't there yet, but they could be if you practice. And if you practice multiple times a day, the pathways are being built. They're being formed. So that's how belief systems, new belief systems are formed. And that's why it's only a thought and a thought can be changed is so important in the programs that I do because you need to look at those belief systems in order to find out what you wanna do, how you wanna you wanna live your life now, what's the plan, etcetera.

David Hall [00:38:50]:
Okay. And a lot of that, like you were talking about, is changing your mindset and really moving into more of a space of abundance. Tell us about that.

Kate Hunter [00:38:59]:
Yeah. The I the bonus mindset for me is, is super important because when we are when we are in a period of our life where things are not working out for us, or we perceive them not to be working out for us, we're often in a lack perspective. So we're in this poverty mindset. We're in a lack of people coming to me saying they've got a lack of time. They've got a lack of confidence. They've got a lot of lack of motivation and lack of happiness, lack of fulfillment, and it's everything is geared around lack. So all the thoughts have been trained around lack. So your brain, the reticulating activating system, which is processing sensory information, which is works over time for me as a HSP, is filtering information to you to show you that, yeah, you're right.

Kate Hunter [00:39:54]:
There's so much lack here. And so the spiral continues. Lack. Lack. Lack. Yep. That's lack. That's lack.

Kate Hunter [00:40:04]:
Until you start to raise awareness on, okay, that's how I'm thinking right now, and that creates my feelings and my behaviors and the way that I show up. So abundance mindset is the reverse of that. It's when you start to notice the abundance and possibilities of things, so it's that growth mindset. Then you train your brain to show you more evidence that things are in abundance. You have as much time as everybody else. You have an abundance to support around you, an abundance of love, possibilities, options. And suddenly, you can see more clearly that you do have a pathway forwards. So bonnets mindset, I'm I'm passionate about that because it it shows people it works with neuroscience, but it also works on an energetic level too.

Kate Hunter [00:40:59]:
Like people will say to me, I'm not sure how this happened, but all of a sudden this opportunity has come out of nowhere and I kid you not, it was exactly what I've been asking for. And I'm like, uh-huh. Yeah, I know. Because really things are conspiring to work out for you unless you get in the way, unless you are putting up the blocks and you're shrinking your world and you're only looking at the light.

David Hall [00:41:26]:
Yeah. So how do we get in the way? And how do we get out of our own way?

Kate Hunter [00:41:32]:
Yeah. Well, it's so it is that. So we get in our own way through our self saboteurs, through our thoughts, which quit creating that mindset piece. So it's the raising awareness piece first. It's like really getting honest with yourself about the way that you are seeing your situation and seeing the world. Like, what thoughts are you having about? Say there's a certain issue, maybe it's work or whatever, and you're if you sat down and did a did an audit, you did a thought audit, and I get my clients to do this as well. What are the dominant thoughts that are on loop at the moment? Are they helpful to you, or are they making you feel like rubbish? And, again, once you can see it, once you lift yourself out of that, take a bird's eye view, what your thoughts have been, you can start to recognize where you've been getting in your own way. If you are, if your thoughts are kind of more towards a victim mentality, why is this happening to me? It's not fair.

Kate Hunter [00:42:37]:
This always happens. Like, give me a break. It's very disempowering. And that voice lives in your head 247. And it's renting a room in there with a high ticket because unless you get on top of that and start to reframe it so you get on top of that by doing the daily rep, so the practice around, okay, now I've identified most unhelpful thoughts. Stop. Enough. Choose again.

Kate Hunter [00:43:12]:
So intercepting the thought when it comes in without judgment, we don't have to say, oh, no. I'm thinking that thought again. But it's like, There's that thought that is really not serving me right now. Okay. What do I choose to think about this situation for myself instead? Like, what's more realistic here? And that's how you can come back. That's how you stop getting in your own way, when you understand what's really going on.

David Hall [00:43:44]:
So let's go back to the what's strong with me. How do people find out what is strong with them, what they're passionate about, what they value, and bring clarity to all of that?

Kate Hunter [00:43:56]:
People love a process. So I've built into my coaching programs a lot of flex and freedom to kind of have the bespoke element, but I also have a framework that I walk them through. I take them through journey through. The program is called revive and redefine because I've called it those those two words. Because actually when you you're reviving yourself, right, you're reviving all those strengths, the best parts of you, and understanding them so that you can redefine who you get to be now, what you want, how your life's gonna be. So the first few modules that I take them through are literally about getting to know themselves again and what their strengths are, what their uniqueness is, and that, like, literally that that pet, that beautiful blends and mix of things. And, you know, how do they like to learn how, what what's their preference around, kind of activities that they do in their work and things like that. Also, then complete freedom.

Kate Hunter [00:44:55]:
So it's that discovery piece. Module 2, or module 3 is about or discover because it's just a discovery piece, like taking away all the preconceived ideas about yourself and your situation. If you had complete freedom, money was no object. All of those things allow yourself to think about what would you, how would you spend your days? And some people find that difficult because they're like so hardwired for just reality and what they think is possible. They can't even give themselves permission just to play with it a little bit. So it and then once they're into it, they can't stop. They're like, oh, this is amazing. I love this.

Kate Hunter [00:45:40]:
And I've just remembered that. And I was a child. I used to really love being creative and that's how I got my best ideas and the, the, the, the, the, it's like reconnecting back to, as I say, the essence, the essence that I was denying to, you know, it's that essence of you because that's where your strengths lie. Actually, how do I harness that creativity and bring it into my workspace now? Or how do I use my strengths and create a new pathway where I can play those strengths loud and proud? Because that's when you find out what's strong with you, you know, when you are actually living that life. It's not a fairy tale. There are always gonna be twists and turns. I believe in, you know, squiggly careers and, reinventing yourself. And just when you think you found it out, there's something else, a new element that comes in, and that might take you on a new course, but it's e tools in the right direction.

Kate Hunter [00:46:45]:
It's e tools to, you know, living more of this purpose and kind of mission piece that majority of humans I've met in my life, that's what they're seeking is that that sense of purpose, that that realization that they matter, and they're leaving a legacy of some sort in their path.

David Hall [00:47:06]:
Well said on that. It's finding out that purpose that we're meant for that we need to get to. And, yeah, there might be a lot of detours along the way, but, typically, those are learning experiences that we need.

Kate Hunter [00:47:20]:
Absolutely. A 100%. And it's not you know, we, as humans, we don't always ask for those lessons in the timing that they come. And that's part of the lesson of being human, isn't it? Well, I believe it's actually you will get those lessons on repeat until you're willing to embrace them. So they will re, you know, circumnavigate at some point in your life if it's still not being understood yet. And that is easier to see on the outside than when you're living it.

David Hall [00:47:50]:
Yeah. For sure. Kate, this has been an amazing conversation. Is there anything else you wanna add that we haven't talked about today?

Kate Hunter [00:48:01]:
I think it is just that piece around people giving themselves permission to explore. You know, you are not a done deal. You are evolving through this lifetime constantly, but you get to choose. You get to choose your path. Not society, not loved ones, not everyone else. And even in those situations where which seem rock bottom, so my 2012, where everything was crumbling and it felt like everything was falling away. You will look back on those things and you will realize that they were happening for you, not to you. And giving you the option to relook at your life and kind of move forward.

Kate Hunter [00:48:49]:
But I'm a coach, you know, I'm here to say as well that, you know, seek help from coaches, experts, mentors, whoever it is, because we're not meant to walk this path alone. You know, I'm a coach and I have a coach because I am human. I need that support for somewhere else to hold the space for me sometimes too and raise awareness about what I'm not seeing. And that that's, you know, that's that's the power. That's where we can take charge is who do I need? Who can support me? What's my way forward? And how can I live better? How can I feel better and live better? Because we always can, but it starts with us.

David Hall [00:49:33]:
Yeah. And we don't have to learn everything ourselves. We can learn from coaches and other people that have learned lessons and listen to podcasts and read great books and all all of those things.

Kate Hunter [00:49:47]:
Absolutely. 100%.

David Hall [00:49:49]:
Kate, where can people find out more about you and the work that you're doing?

Kate Hunter [00:49:54]:
So I'm mostly hanging out on LinkedIn these days. I think that's probably a a good place to go. So, just Kate Hunter on there. I think in the show notes, there'll be a link as well. Open to connections, like minded individuals, know anybody who's looking for coaching or maybe those organizations who are looking to support more people in their organization, and learning to help development part departments themselves. I worked in L&D when I was in corporate, and they're often the forgotten ones. So, you know, we're they're busy looking after everybody else's learning development. And so I I wanna make sure that I'm supporting their learning development things as well.

Kate Hunter [00:50:33]:
So, yeah, hop on over to LinkedIn, send me that request or that message, and I'd be it'd be a pleasure to catch up with people.

David Hall [00:50:40]:
Alright. Sounds great. Thanks again for being on today, Kate.

Kate Hunter [00:50:43]:
Thank Thank you for having me. Absolute pleasure. Thank you, David.

David Hall [00:50:47]:
Thank you so much for joining me. I look forward to further connecting with you. Reach out at david@quietandstrong.com, or check out the quietandstrong.com website, which includes blog posts, links to social media, and other items. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. If you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there's now a free type finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the 4 letter Myers Briggs code. I'll add a link to the show notes. There's so many great things about being an introvert, so we need those to be understood.

David Hall [00:51:25]:
Get to know your introverted strengths and needs, and be strong.