Ep 176 - Success Happens With A Plan

Have you ever been inspired by something you heard or read and then your momentum fizzled out and you didn't take any action?

In this episode of The Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall guides introverts on turning inspiration into tangible action. Listeners will learn how to identify their unique desires, create personalized success strategies, and employ practical methods to embrace their introverted strengths.

Key takeaways include:
- Making a plan to implement new theories and strategies from content you've consumed.
- Understanding the importance of self-awareness and regular self-reflection.
- Applying introvert-specific techniques to improve communication and build confidence.

By tuning in, you'll discover that your path to success doesn't have to mimic others'. Instead, it can be crafted to highlight what makes you uniquely brilliant. Remember to keep making progress, celebrate your small wins, and be the best version of yourself. Join us, learn from practical advice tailored for introverts, and be strong.

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/176

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Contact the Host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com
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david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Transcript

David Hall [00:00:09]:
Hello, and welcome to episode 176 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host David Hall and the creator of quieteststrong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we'll learn each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review or a rating. That would mean a lot to me and help other people find the show.

David Hall [00:00:37]:
Tell a friend about the podcast, and help get the word out there. The introversion is a beautiful thing. So last week, we talked about confidence and communication. So now what? How do you make a plan to improve in certain areas that you just listened to or read about? How do you make strategies? I know there have been so many times I've listened to a great podcast, felt inspired, and it did nothing. Success happens with a plan. So first, you gotta identify what you want and then determine, are you getting what you want? Then make a plan to apply new theories that you've learned to get what you want. And know that your wants and desires are likely gonna be different from somebody else, and celebrate what's already going well with you. Identify things you want to learn and challenges you wanna overcome.

David Hall [00:01:29]:
Understand that your approach to success as an introvert could look very different from your extroverted friend. This is an important aspect of this podcast. We can learn from both introverts and extroverts, but often, we'll learn best from someone that's similar to us. Or at least as an introvert, we can learn best from someone that truly understands introversion. So for example, 2 years back, I participated in Susan Cain Quiet Revolution webinar through my work. There was a handful of people gathered in person watching the webinar together, and some were introverts, some were extroverts. During the webinar, Susan Cain talked about the quiet revolution, discussed things that we need for quiet spaces, and how to get the most out of meetings as either introvert or some leading introverts. The webinar was great, but what was even better is the 20 or so minute conversation we had as a group after.

David Hall [00:02:29]:
And there was still some misunderstanding about introversion, and this was very apparent during our post webinar discussion. An introvert expressed her fear of public speaking. Immediately, she was given advice from extrovert of strategies she could practice to overcome her fear. Strategies that would likely not be successful for the deep thinker, I'm thinking. Things like, don't overthink it. Just get up there and talk. Speak off the cuff. It's more natural.

David Hall [00:03:02]:
Just do it. As the outspoken introvert in the room, I explained that realizing as introverts, we usually need to think before speaking and that preparation will be different for introverts. Introverts could be amazing speakers by recognizing that we need to be prepared, have expertise, and be passionate about the topic. And it was important for this introvert to begin to understand that instead of fearing her weakness or trying to be the same as the extrovert, she could use her strengths as an introvert to be successful. And advice like just do it probably isn't gonna work. So what do you want and why? Where are you now? I'd like to start with an appreciative approach and celebrate what's good. For the longest time, I thought something was wrong with me as an introvert. What I learned was there was nothing wrong with me except for a lack of understanding of my introversion.

David Hall [00:04:03]:
And since I had this epiphany, I've had many guests on the podcast that have had similar experiences where they felt like something was wrong with them because they didn't understand their introversion. In episode 172, Kate Hunter flipped this around. Instead of what's wrong with you, say, what's strong with you? What makes you unique? She wasn't sure where she had heard this before, but, man, it was powerful. And you have great gifts. It's not a one size fits all approach to success, and I believe you were created different with different gifts on purpose. But too often, we treat our personal development as a one size fits all and try to learn, grow, change, and improve as everyone else. And I've tried to be what I thought was what I was supposed to be or maybe act more extroverted, but this approach will leave you drained and ineffective. The best approach is living authentically and being true to your natural gifts.

David Hall [00:05:08]:
So, again, you just listened to this great podcast on communication and confidence, especially for introverts. Using this as an example, often you feel like you don't get the chance to share your ideas in meetings, and you feel like you really suck at small talk. Are you able to employ some of the strategies and make some plans based on what you just learned in this podcast or in the book that you read. First of all, you need to believe that you can change that you can make the changes that you want. On most podcasts, we share stories from introverted guests that often felt like something was wrong with them as we were talking about, and they learned their introverted strengths and needs and how to lean into their gifts. If there's areas that you struggle with, you too can learn how to lean into your own gifts and strengths. But remember, the change you want is very achievable, and there are others that have been down the path before you that you can learn from. You're not gonna achieve your goals overnight, but you also won't achieve them if you don't start.

David Hall [00:06:12]:
So let's talk about episode 170 5 in confidence with communication for introverts. Again, as an example, go back and listen to it if you haven't already. Of course, you could pick whatever topic it is that you feel you wanna work on as we're talking about strategies to apply new learning. So in episode 175, we talked about in improving your confidence and communication. We talked about self awareness, awareness of others. We talked about learning to embrace silence, or in other words, embrace and articulate that you think before speaking. We talked about how important it was to prepare in advance for meetings, presentations, speeches, events, and conversations, taking care of your mental and emotional well-being, practicing active listening, and being sure to assert yourself into a conversation as appropriate, improving your small talk, working on nonverbal communication, and giving yourself grace and grace to others. So this is a lot to tackle all at once.

David Hall [00:07:20]:
So where do you start? When it comes to setting goals and making plans, I think we need to have a little retreat with ourselves from time to time. Again, pondering the question, what do I want? What do I need to do to get what I want? How can I understand myself better and employ strategies that capitalize on my talents and my gifts while honoring my needs? This retreat can be as often as you want. People often talk about setting goals in January, which is fine, but I don't think that's nearly often enough because you make progress and you learn and you grow and you learn from your experiences, and you have to tweak your goals on a regular basis. And you have unexpected things come up and new opportunities. So I think a regular retreat is very important. Maybe it's once a month, once a quarter, some other interval, or as often as needed, or you might just change that interval as needed. It'd be awesome to go somewhere by yourself, you know, get away from the house, but sometimes that's not a luxury that we have. And if it's not, you may need to negotiate some quiet time at home.

David Hall [00:08:33]:
For me, I'm the early riser at home, and early in the morning is often when I do my best thinking. And when it comes to retreating and reflecting, recognize that you have some amazing gifts. You're a gifted thinker as an introvert. So the first step is to plan your retreat. Get it on your calendar. When's the best time? Is it a Sunday morning, a Friday afternoon? What works for you? And ask yourself some questions. What are the major things you want to accomplish this year? What are the big lifetime goals you want to accomplish? What are some short term goals? What are some long term goals? What are the day to day things you need to do? What do you wanna do each day? What does an ideal day look like for you, especially as an introvert? What should you stop doing? So ask yourself these questions and get these things written down and stored where you can easily find it. If it helps, print out significant portions of your goals where you can see them.

David Hall [00:09:32]:
Maybe on your desk. I know some people put them on their bathroom mirror. Let's do a pretend scenario. So let's say you have some great ideas for a business, and as part of your reflection in your retreat, you determine you're ready to start taking steps to starting your own business and putting your ideas into practice. But you know you struggle with communication, making presentations, and building relationships. So as part of your strategy, you're gonna learn how, as an introvert, you can improve your communication skills as you venture out as an entrepreneur. So now it's time to dedicate some time to learning some new information, some new strategies, techniques. When will you set aside some time to read a book or listen to a podcast? What works best for you? You have to get some time on your calendar as it needs to be intentional.

David Hall [00:10:29]:
As you get busy with work and life, this time to learn and easily lose out to a competing priority. So now you found some concepts that you wanna practice. This is where the weekly review comes in. Look at what you have during the upcoming week. Where can you accomplish something new? So let's stick with our example of episode 175 on communication and confidence, and let's pick something we wanna work on. Again, that could be anything from the book that you read or the podcast or podcast that you listen to. So in episode 175, we talked about self awareness. So maybe it's time to start from the beginning with self awareness.

David Hall [00:11:11]:
You've heard a lot about the Myers Briggs assessment, for example, but you've never taken it They could plan to take it, schedule a time for yourself. Maybe that's the goal for the week along with the many other things that you're probably doing in your regular life. And that's why I'm saying it. You just have to start making some steps because we're busy people, but you have to be intentional about this new goal that you're gonna achieve, this new learning, this new application of your learning. Maybe the following week, it's setting aside some time to really reflect on your Myers Briggs report and the recommendations that you're reading. Maybe you have a friend you can talk it over with, or perhaps your goal for the week is to find a coach. The self awareness is an ongoing process, and it's not gonna happen by accident. So continue to make it a priority as part of your goals.

David Hall [00:12:00]:
Or maybe you find yourself getting run over in conversation. Introverts think and then speak, and this is often misunderstood when there's silence. We can definitely prepare for things, but a saving phrase is give me some time to think about that. It may be, let me think about that for a minute, or let me get back to you later. And maybe this isn't part of your usual conversation, and you you feel uncomfortable expressing this. So you might set yourself a goal for the week to use that phrase when needed. Each day, you can work on your conversations as needed. Let people know, hey.

David Hall [00:12:42]:
I need to give myself some space to think sometimes, and then reflect on it at the end of the day. How did I do in my conversations? Did I use that phrase when I need it? Was I comfortable explaining to people when I need time to think? So that's that's something that you could work on for the week. Or maybe, you know you could be a better listener and wanna practice act act active listening skills. Is there a conversation coming up where you can work on this? You just heard this on a podcast. Pay close attention to what others are saying without planning your response. This shows respect and helps build stronger connections. Make eye contact, not an agreement as appropriate, and summarize points back to the speaker to ensure you understood correctly. So you've just learned all these things, but now you have to apply them.

David Hall [00:13:38]:
So jot down those things that you just learned about about that concept, And look at your week and pick a conversation or 2 that you wanna practice and then reflect after. Also, in conversations, you may need to practice asserting yourself into a conversation as appropriate. As an introvert, you may have been involved in a conversation where you just can't get in a word, and the other person is happily talking nonstop, just pleased as ever that you're such a good listener. Again, for the most part, we should be having conversations, and you may need to make your voice heard and practice doing that. Maybe there is a person that regularly talks nonstop, and you need to practice asserting your needs and making sure that the conversation is going both ways. Maybe your goal for the week is to improve small talk. Often introverts wanna get past small talk. We wanna get into the deeper conversations that we wanna have.

David Hall [00:14:45]:
But in addition to not wanting to have it, some introverts just aren't very good at it or they struggle with it. Again, let's just pretend you heard this great strategy on a podcast about how you can prepare in advance, how you can talk about something in the environment, a personal piece of news, current events. Ask any other person questions. Jot these things down. Where can you practice? How do you need to prepare ahead of time? Maybe it's the person where you get your drink in the morning. This may be a good place to start as you likely won't get stuck in a long conversation of small talk. Or look at your week. Where will it be helpful to make some small talk? Who will you be talking to? How can you prepare for some conversation starters? With all these things, it's difficult to put a time frame on how long you'll need to practice and when it becomes more natural.

David Hall [00:15:38]:
Maybe you're gonna work on small talk for several weeks or longer. At some point, though, although you may need to prepare, it will become easier and more natural, and you may even enjoy some small talk. Or maybe your goal is to work on your nonverbal communication. Maybe you're happy, but your face doesn't always match, and you're not smiling. And people tell you irritatingly to smile more. And this won't be perfect, and you're not gonna smile all the time if that doesn't come naturally to you. But you may want to remind yourself to smile from time to time. A good place to practice this is in a Zoom meeting where, you know, you're basically looking at yourself in a mirror, and, occasionally, you can remind yourself to smile as appropriate or maybe make a goal to check on your posture.

David Hall [00:16:32]:
Are you sitting up straight in that Zoom meeting? Do you look confident? So you're likely a busy person, and you can't work on everything at once. But start. Work on something to improve in some way as you're working on the many other tasks and responsibilities that you have in your life. As we said last week, give yourself some grace and give others some grace. You're not perfect, but nobody is. And keep making progress and be the absolute brilliant and best version of yourself. It will take some time. Celebrate your small wins and goals, and then each week decide if you wanna keep on working on the same goal, add a goal, move on to something new.

David Hall [00:17:18]:
So have a regular retreat with yourself. Reflect on where you are and where you wanna be. Make a learning plan and dive into some good books and podcasts. Weekly, take what you've learned and set a goal or 2 for the following week, then evaluate how it went. To make changes, you need to know why you wanna change and how you wanna accomplish the change. And, again, you have to adapt this to yourself. There's no one right or wrong way to do this, but what works for you? But the important thing is in all of your learning and all your learning of theory, you have to learn to apply that theory and practice that theory in real life to make it effective. Thank you so much for joining me.

David Hall [00:18:03]:
I appreciate you. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from our amazing guests. Remember, if you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there's now a free type finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the 4 letter Myers Briggs code. I'll add a link to the show notes. And I'd love to connect with you. Reach out at david@quietandstrong.com, or check out the great resources at quietandstrong.com. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show.

David Hall [00:18:36]:
There's so many great things about being an introvert, and we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs, and be strong.