Ep 190 - Thriving In Social Settings: 9 Tips For For Introverts with Host David Hall

Have you ever felt overwhelmed in a large social setting? In this episode of The Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall breaks down nine essential tips designed to help introverts navigate and thrive in various social situations. You'll learn why introverts often find solace and success in 1 on 1 or small group interactions, and gain strategies for managing energy and anxiety in larger gatherings.

Key takeaways include understanding the importance of preparation, leveraging your inherent strengths as an excellent listener, and the value of setting personal goals before entering a social event. David also shares insightful methods for finding smaller sub-groups within larger settings and using nonverbal communication to feel more at ease.

Why should you listen? Whether you find large social gatherings draining or struggle to engage in quick, surface-level conversations, this episode offers practical advice to make these experiences more manageable and even enjoyable. Tune in to gain confidence in your social interactions and play to your unique strengths as an introvert.

Recognize and embrace your introversion, and be strong.

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/190

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Contact the Host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com
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david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Transcript

David Hall [00:00:09]:
Hello, and welcome to episode 190 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quietandsstrong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review. That would mean a lot to me.

David Hall [00:00:35]:
Tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. So on the Quiet Strong podcast, we talk about the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success, and we do plenty of myth busting. A common myth is that introverts don't like people or maybe always awkward around people. Of course, it is true that introverts may want people in different doses, in different settings, and in deeper conversations and deeper relationships. We do like people. And introverts often thrive in 1 on 1 or small group settings, and we're gonna talk about that. And when I say that, I'm not saying that introverts can't thrive in large group settings as well. We just may need a different set of strategies for the small group versus the large group.

David Hall [00:01:30]:
So there's factors that contribute to why introverts often feel more comfortable, energized, and effective in 1 on 1 and small group settings. So let's get into some of the reasons. So for 1 on 1 and small group environments, it allows introverts to leverage their strengths, such as deep thinking, active listening, and the ability of to form strong personal connections and deep connections while minimizing the stress and overstimulation that could come from the larger and more chaotic social situations. And as introverts, we think before we speak, often sharing what we think is most valuable. Extroverts generally speak in order to think, thinking out loud most of the time. Since as introverts, we think first and then speak, we don't always do our best in thinking on our feet, and that's where preparation comes in. Preparation for different settings can be very valuable. And as introverts, we prefer depth over breadth.

David Hall [00:02:39]:
We prefer deep, meaningful conversations over superficial small talk. In 1 on 1 settings, we can connect more deeply with others, focus on the conversation, and engage in thoughtful dialogue without the distortions of the larger group. In smaller groups, introverts can still have meaningful interactions, share ideas more comfortably, feel heard. This intimate setting allows for more focused discussion, which could be energizing rather than draining. Introverts appreciate having the time to think before they speak, and it's a lot easier to do that in 1 on 1 interactions. 1 on 1 interactions better allow for this. There's less pressure to respond quickly, which lets introverts express themselves more clearly and authentically. In small groups, the conversation is usually more controlled and slower paced than in large groups, and that suits us introverts who might need more time to process information and form our thoughts.

David Hall [00:03:46]:
Introverts often value close personal connections, and we find satisfaction in forming deep bonds with others. Again, we like people, but we like to go deep. 1 on 1 settings provide the ideal environment for nurturing these deeper connections as the focus is entirely on the other person. While introverts may find large groups overwhelming, they can feel comfortable in small groups where they know and trust the participants, and this setting often allows them to connect on a more personal level with each group member fostering a sense of belonging. In 1 on 1 settings, introverts can engage in social interaction without the overwhelming stimulus of the large crowd. There's less noise, fewer competing conversations, less social pressure, which makes it easier for introverts to be themselves. And, again, as we're gonna get into, you should always find ways to be yourself. Just your strategy might be different from the small group to the large group.

David Hall [00:04:53]:
Small groups reduce the social complexity of large gatherings. With fewer people to interact with, introverts can manage their social energy better and avoid feeling drained by too many interactions all at once. Introverts tend to appreciate environments that they can have more control over the interaction. In 1 on 1 settings, they can steer the conversation in a in the direction that interests them, making the interaction more engaging and less stressful. In small groups, introverts can contribute at their own pace and choose when they speak a little bit better. They don't feel the same pressure to compete for attention as they might in a larger group, allowing them to participate more comfortably. Introverts are often excellent listeners, a skill that shines in 1 on 1 interactions. They could fully engage with that other person, absorb what's being said, and respond thoughtfully, which can make the conversation more rewarding for both parties.

David Hall [00:05:51]:
In small groups, introverts can use their listening skills to understand the group dynamic and contribute insights that add depth to the conversation, often noticing details others might miss. And we want to make meaningful contributions. In 1 on 1 conversations, introverts can make more meaningful contributions without feeling overshadowed by others. We can share our thoughts and our feelings more freely knowing that we have the full attention of the other person. In small groups, introverts often feel more comfortable expressing their ideas knowing their contributions are valued and heard. This setting allows them to play an active role in the discussion without the pressure of the large audience. So these are some of the factors that contribute to why introverts often feel more comfortable, energized, and effective in 1 on 1 and small group settings. These environments allow us as introverts to leverage our strengths.

David Hall [00:06:53]:
We are deep thinkers, and and some of us are deep feelers, and we wanna form strong personal and deep connections. But we may struggle in the large group due to several factors. There's several factors that can make these environments challenging or draining for us. Of course, we can thrive in large group settings by understanding our strengths and our needs and develop some strategies for success that work for us. And a lot of this is preparation and energy management. So let's first talk about why large groups may be a struggle. Large groups often involve a lot of noise, movement, and activity, and the pressure to quickly think on our feet, which could be overwhelming for most introverts. With multiple conversations happening simultaneously, introverts may find it difficult to focus on one thing at a time.

David Hall [00:07:48]:
The sheer volume of information to process can be mentally draining, leading to feelings of fatigue and discomfort. As I mentioned, we have a preference for the deeper things. We don't value superficial interactions as much. Large groups often necessitate quick surface level conversations rather than deep meaningful discussions, and we prefer to connect on that deeper level. And we may feel unsatisfied or disconnected when we're not able to engage in more substantial exchanges. And sometimes in the large group, we may have difficulty finding that connection. It can be hard to find someone with whom we can connect deeply. We may feel out of place or isolated if we can't have these kinds of connections and engagements and have those conversations that interest us.

David Hall [00:08:46]:
And we also, in the large group, can experience energy depletion. Introverts tend to have a limited amount of social energy, which could be quickly depleted in large group settings. Unlike extroverts, who often gain energy from social interaction, introverts may find their energy drained by the demands of engaging with many people all at once. So after spending time in a large group, introverts often need to retreat and recharge a solitude. Without this, we can become mentally and emotionally exhausted. So in large groups, the conversation often moves quickly with many voices competing for attention. Introverts may struggle to insert themselves into the discussion, leading to feelings of being overlooked or unheard. And there can be a sense of pressure in large groups to be constantly outgoing and entertaining, which doesn't come naturally for most of us.

David Hall [00:09:50]:
And the keyword there is constantly. We may be very entertaining. We may be very outgoing, but we don't wanna do that for long periods of time most of the time. Introverts may dread if there's that expectation to be constantly on in a large group, which again can be exhausting. And the need to maintain social interactions for extended periods of time without breaks is particularly draining. So in large group, social dynamics can be more complex and harder to read. Introverts who often prefer clear and direct communication, may find it challenging to navigate the unspoken rules and cues in some of these settings. We like structure often.

David Hall [00:10:36]:
Large groups can be unstructured, free flowing, which can be difficult for some introverts who may prefer organized and predictable social settings. The unpredictability of a large group can be unsettling, making it harder for introverts to engage comfortably. In unstructured settings, introverts may struggle to find the right moment to speak, or they may feel hesitant to interrupt others. This can lead to remaining silent even if they have valuable contributions. In large groups, introverts may worry that their quiet demeanor will be misinterpreted as aloofness, disinterest, or shyness, leading to further social discomfort. Have you ever had someone, just because you're thinking, think that you're aloof? I know that's happened to me. And as much as I'm confident and I speak a lot relative to my younger self, I'm still gonna be considered quiet because I'm always gonna be thinking. Large groups can involve physical closeness and a lack of personal space, which could be uncomfortable for introverts who value their own space.

David Hall [00:11:47]:
And the inability to retreat or have a moment of solitude can heighten feelings of discomfort. It matters who's in your personal space, of course. Introverts may feel that their personal boundaries are more likely to be encroached upon in large group settings where the norms of interaction could be more invasive. And in many cultures, large social gatherings are associated with extroverted norms such as being outgoing or gregarious. There's a word for you, gregarious. People aren't calling me gregarious. Introverts may feel out of place or pressure to conform to these expectations, which, you know, could be stressful or frustrating. We often prefer thoughtful, deliberate communication, which can clash with that fast paced spontaneous style common in large groups.

David Hall [00:12:39]:
So these are some of the factors that can make large group settings challenging for introverts. Keep in mind, we're not all the same, so you may have related to some of these factors more than others. And in the large group, the environment may not cater to the natural preferences for the quiet, focused, and meaningful interactions that we wanna have. Alright. So we absolutely can thrive in 1 on 1 small groups and large settings and have a good time. So how do we do that? Introverts can thrive in a large group setting by employing strategies that help them manage their energy, focus on meaningful interactions, and feel more comfortable. So here's some here are 9 tips. The first one, set personal goals.

David Hall [00:13:31]:
What's your purpose? Before entering a large group setting, set clear goals for what you wanna achieve, not what your extroverted friend wants to achieve. This may include meeting specific people, contributing to a particular discussion, or simply observing and learning. Having a purpose can give you a sense of direction and reduce your anxiety. And focus on quality over quantity. Instead of trying to interact with everyone, aim to have a few meaningful conversations, and this can make the experience more rewarding and less overwhelming. Number 2, leverage your strengths. Use active listening. Introverts are often excellent listeners.

David Hall [00:14:17]:
Use this strength to your advantage by engaging deeply in conversations. People appreciate being heard and your thoughtful responses will stand out. Ask thoughtful questions, ask insightful questions that can steer conversations towards topics that interest you and allow you to contribute meaningfully without meaning to dominate the discussion. Number 3, prepare in advance. Again, as introverts, preparation is so important. Know the environment, get familiar with the event or the group beforehand, know the format, who's gonna be there, what can you expect, Knowing these things can reduce uncertainty and help you feel more at ease. Rehearse key points. If you anticipate needing to speak or percent or certain conversations, think about what you wanna say.

David Hall [00:15:10]:
This preparation can boost your confidence and ensure you're ready to contribute when the time comes. As an introvert, preparation is a need and also one of our superpowers. Number 4, manage your energy. Take breaks. It's important to recognize when you need to recharge. Find moments to step away from the group even if it's just for a few minutes to gather your thoughts and relax. It's normal. It's normal to need a break.

David Hall [00:15:43]:
Pace yourself. If you need to take a walk outside, don't feel pressured to be constantly engaged. It's okay to be part of the group without always being in the spotlight. Participate at a pace that feels comfortable to you. Number 5, find smaller groups within the larger group. Seek out smaller conversations. Within larger groups, there's often smaller clusters of people having more intimate discussions. Join one of these groups where you might feel more comfortable, but also the conversation and topics are more interesting to you.

David Hall [00:16:24]:
And built on 1 on 1 connections. Look for opportunities to connect with individuals in this larger group setting. Moving the conversation to a quieter spot or following up after the event can help you have more meaningful relationships. Number 6, use nonverbal communication. So with your body language, position your body to show that you're engaged even if you're not speaking. Nodding, making eye contact, and smiling convey your interest and help you connect with other people. Practice presence without pressure. You don't always need to contribute verbally to be involved.

David Hall [00:17:04]:
Being an attentive listener or simply being present can have a positive impact on the group dynamic. And choose your spots wisely. Practice strategic positioning. Position yourself in the group where you feel most comfortable. Just for example, maybe standing near the edge of the room can give you that easy escape if you need a break. And time your participation. If there's specific moments where you feel more comfortable contributing, focus on those times to give your input. Number 8, manage your expectations.

David Hall [00:17:40]:
Be kind to yourself. Understand it's okay not to enjoy every aspect of a large group setting. Focus on the positive and know when to leave. If you feel drained or uncomfortable, it's perfectly okay to leave early. Your well-being is important, and it's better to leave when you still have the energy than to push yourself too far. And, you know, if you know the host, you can let them know. Hey. This has been great.

David Hall [00:18:10]:
I do gotta go. And leverage technology. You could follow-up online. Maybe you had a great conversation. After the event, consider following up with that 1 or 2 people that you had a great connection with, you know, through email or social media. And this allows you to continue the conversation and the relationship. So these are some strategies that you can use to make large group settings more manageable and even enjoyable and more effective. The key is to play to your strengths, manage your energy, and approach a situation in a way that aligns with your natural preferences.

David Hall [00:18:52]:
So as an introvert, we can thrive in many settings. We just need to know what do we want, how are we gonna get that, and, you know, how can we be our authentic selves. So thank you so much for joining me today. I appreciate you. Remember, if you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there's now a free type finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the 4 letter Myers Briggs code. I'll add a link in the show notes. I'd love to connect with you.

David Hall [00:19:24]:
Reach out at david@quietandstrong.com or check out the quiet and strong.com website, which includes blog posts and links to social media. Send me topics or guests that you would like to see on the show. There's so many great things about being an introvert, and we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.