Ep 193 - Finding Confidence through Strengths as an Introvert with David Hall

Have you ever been told you're too quiet or shy? In this episode of The Quiet and Strong Podcast, host David Hall explores how introverts can build confidence by recognizing and embracing their unique strengths. David explores the journey from lacking self-assurance to understanding the true power of introversion.

A few of the introverted strengths mentions include understanding the power of deep thinking, the ability to focus without distraction, and how thoughtful communication sets introverts apart. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to embrace their introverted nature, overcome self-doubt, and gain actionable insights into making the most of their unique qualities.

By tuning in, you’ll gain practical advice on how to honor your introverted needs, develop your unique strengths, and stop comparing yourself to others. David’s empowering message will inspire you to recognize your intrinsic worth as an introvert and provide you with actionable strategies to boost your confidence.

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/193

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David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

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david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Transcript

David Hall [00:00:10]:
Hello, and welcome to episode 193 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, the creator of quiet and strong dot com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we'll learn each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review or a rating. That would mean a lot to me and help others find the show.

David Hall [00:00:40]:
Tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. You're so quiet. I've always hated being told this. I heard this recently from someone who knows me fairly well, and it took me back for a moment. Relatively speaking, compared to my former self, it seems like I talk a lot. In the past, statements like this have shattered my confidence. But now, even though I'm not shy and I communicate as much as I want to, I am a deep thinker, and I think before I speak. I realized I may never say as many words as my extroverted friend, and that's okay.

David Hall [00:01:19]:
In fact, it's more than okay. As introverts, our deep thinking makes us brilliant. So how about you? Have you been crushed by being called quiet? And it's never helpful to say to the introvert that lacks confidence, but rather often confirms to the person where they perceive it confirms to them, there's something wrong with me. I've talked with guests on the show about this and so many other introverts that felt like something was wrong with them. And I always point out that there are introverts that have always been confident and always aware of their introverted needs. But I was one that felt like something was wrong with me. Why can't it be more like that person that seems to be so at ease in social situations? I was shy, and I lacked confidence. And somewhere along the way, I learned what it meant to be an introvert.

David Hall [00:02:11]:
I also learned of the great gifts and strengths of introversion. I learned to understand my needs as an introvert and some strategies for success as an introvert. So a big epiphany for me was that there was nothing wrong with my introversion. What was wrong was my lack of understanding of my introversion. I learned that great strength comes from being an introvert, and this has given me great confidence. And I'm not shy anymore. Introversion and shyness are not the same. You can be shy either as introvert or extrovert.

David Hall [00:02:46]:
Shyness is more about your confidence or lack of confidence than how you interact with the world. And the great news is that if you are a shy introvert, you can gain confidence. And this could be from some self awareness and understanding what makes you great. For example, one of my gifts as an introvert is to think deeply, analyze, and come up with solutions. Over the past years of reading, thinking, analyzing, listening, observing, and talking, I have changed my life for the better. Along with discovering my strengths, I've come to understand that there are parts of me that are unchangeable, such as usually needing to think before I speak. But there's also aspects that can be changed, such as irrational fears or self defeating thoughts. And by learning how to change these things, I can make my life better.

David Hall [00:03:43]:
So we're gonna review many, many possible gifts and strengths that you may have because you're an introvert. If you need a boost in confidence, this could do the trick. But before we discuss strength, let's review some factors that can contribute to shyness or a lack of confidence as an introvert or how our introversion might cause that. You may not completely relate to all these things I'm gonna mention as we're all different individuals. However, my point is that we can come to understand ourselves, our strengths and needs. We can change our thoughts and our lives. Also, we're gonna talk about understanding strengths as a confidence booster. There are so many other strategies for success that if we don't identify them today, check out some previous episodes.

David Hall [00:04:32]:
So one thing that can make us shy or lack confidence is when we do act differently than our extroverted friends. And one of the ways that we're different is for us, you know, going from inside to outside, meaning going from our inner world of ideas to the outside world can sometimes be draining. As introverts, we naturally spend more time in our heads and don't always notice our surroundings. And this can produce feelings of anxiety as you try to navigate new situations and places because you're trying to process your surroundings on what's going on externally. The shift in processing may cause you to be uncomfortable if you spend more of the time in your head. Another thing that can make us feel less confident is our deep thoughts sometimes, because one of our strengths as an introvert is we think deeply and often. And I know for me, there's been many times when I shared a deep thought and got funny looks or even made fun of. So in my case, sharing deep thoughts, which again is a good thing about me has made me shy in the past.

David Hall [00:05:45]:
I've come to realize that when others have not had the time to analyze information, my well thought out ideas may seem a bit crazy. That doesn't mean I'm wrong. It just means I may have to spend more time explaining concepts that are obvious to me and stand my ground when I'm not being heard. Have you had a similar experience as a deep thinker? And, of course, introverts, we think before we speak. It's natural. We usually think before we speak, and that's a fact for introverts. When I didn't understand this about myself, I could get run over by those that talk in order to think. I felt less than adequate in these situations, and my self confidence waned.

David Hall [00:06:27]:
But by understanding how I operate, that I think first and then speak usually, I've come to accept this. Now I let people know what I'm thinking so I can take time that I need. I've also learned that I can prepare for certain conversations, meetings, presentations ahead of time so I don't always have to take as much time during this situation to think before speaking as I've already thought about it, probably a lot. And in conversations where I'm the expert, I've already spent so much time thinking about my words. They come more freely and naturally. But when I'm in situations where I have to pause to think, I've learned to relax and let my thoughts do their best work. And then as introverts, often we don't like small talk, and there's 2 parts to it. Sometimes we're not very good at it, and sometimes we just don't like it even even though if we're if we become very good at it, we may not like it.

David Hall [00:07:28]:
I've never enjoyed talking about the weather, and I've often avoided these small talk situations altogether. In the past, if I found myself in a small group or 1 on 1 with the person I didn't know well, I found that because I wasn't interested in the conversation, I really didn't have anything to say. And, of course, that made others think that I was quiet, and I thought I was quiet. And, again, this made me lack confidence. But I've learned that in building relationships, you have to start somewhere, and small talk may be the necessary way to get to those deeper conversations that you wanna have. I've definitely gotten better at small talk, but I accept that I may never be the master of it. I've also learned not to worry about awkward silences because if it's silent, you're not the only one. Right? And sometimes listening to labels can take a whack at our confidence.

David Hall [00:08:24]:
If people tell you that you are quiet and shy long enough, you may eventually begin to believe it. Labels could be useful if they're used to help someone understand themselves in general terms and explain how to overcome challenges and move forward in their strengths. Like on this show, we talk about introversion. It doesn't box you in, but it really helps you to understand yourself and how you can be your best. The labels can hold people back from their full potential. And for some reason, people like to categorize other people into night nice little boxes, and these boxes can be very limiting and confining. So I've learned to reject negative labels as they are harmful. Instead, focus on what's great about you, where your strengths are, and traits or actions you can change and improve.

David Hall [00:09:17]:
If you're not locked into a label, there's no telling what you can accomplish. And something else that can cause us to be shy or lack confidence is comparing ourselves to others. We all have unique gifts and no person has all the gifts. In the past, I compared myself to someone that is brilliant, something I am not, and the comparison has made me feel inferior or lack confidence. I often listen to motivational speakers. They have great charisma and sometimes catch myself thinking badly about myself for not having this particular talent. Instead, I realize that those I compare myself to may not have, just for example, the analytical gifts I have, and we all have our own important contributions to make. Recognize your own strengths and the value of what you have to offer without comparing yourself to what you see in others.

David Hall [00:10:12]:
So confidence or self confidence comes when you believe you have great value, much to offer, and are worthwhile in your uniqueness. Are you a confident introvert? If not, this is something you can change. You can gain confidence in your worth and uniqueness and the gifts you have to offer the world. And when you're using your gifts, it feels amazing. Like I said, one of mine is that I'm analytical. And, you know, there's been so many times where I've completed a task or a larger project using my GIFs, and it's just it's it feels so good. It's it's very fulfilling, very satisfying. So I'm gonna briefly describe many possible introvert strengths.

David Hall [00:10:57]:
As introverts, we have a lot in common, but we are individuals, so you may not possess all these strengths I'm gonna mention. I know I don't. So as we go over the list, identify the ones where you feel like you have this gift and because you're an introvert. So make note of several of these that you feel like, yeah, that's a gift of mine. So introverts possess a wide range of strengths. So number 1, deep thinking. Introverts often enjoy introspective thought, which leads to profound insights and thoughtful problem solving. I think deep thinking is something that really is a characteristic of all introverts.

David Hall [00:11:42]:
Also, introverts are able to focus. We excel in focusing on tasks for an extended period of time without distraction, making us effective in tasks requiring concentration. We can have good listening skills. We tend to be excellent listeners, carefully absorbing details before contributing thoughtfully to discussions. Another one is empathy, and depends on how you define it. But for this definition, for some introverts, their reflective nature enables them to be more attuned to others' feelings and needs. Now I will point this one out as something I don't have as defined. I do care about people, but my empathy comes from a more logical place, whereas many of you actually have the ability of feeling the feelings of others, and this is often referred to as being empathic.

David Hall [00:12:33]:
Creativity. Many introverts channel their inner thoughts into creative outlets producing art, writing, or innovative ideas. Independence. Introverts are often self sufficient, working autonomously without the need for external validation. Is that true for you? We're gifted at observation. We're highly observant, noticing subtle details that others might overlook, which can be very valuable in decision making. We can also be calm under pressure. Our introspective nature helps us stay composed and thoughtful in high stress situations.

David Hall [00:13:14]:
Also, many introverts tend to be analytical and detail oriented, excelling in roles that require critical thinking and evaluation. Another gift that we have is depth in relationships. We often build deeper, meaningful relationships by investing in fewer but stronger connections. Yes. Yes. We like people. Introverts engage in thoughtful communication. We tend to be deliberate and purposeful in our communication, choosing words carefully to convey meaningful messages.

David Hall [00:13:47]:
We're also reflective. Another gift that we might have is self awareness. Introverts spend a lot of time reflecting on thoughts and feelings, which fosters strong self awareness and emotional intelligence. Another one, many introverts are generally patient and willing to take time with their tasks, allowing them to produce high quality work without rushing. And again, does this one apply to you? Are you making a nice list so far? Resilience. Introverts often develop a quiet resilience, managing challenges internally and bouncing back for difficulties with strong inner resolve. Introverts might also have strong writing skills Due to our preference for internal processing, many introverts excel at writing, or we can express ideas at our own pace. Strategic thinking.

David Hall [00:14:42]:
Many of us have the ability to see the big picture paired with careful analysis, and that allows us to be strategic and long term thinkers. Detail oriented. Some introverts have a knack for paying attention to fine details, ensuring that their work is thorough and accurate. We could be independent in our decision making. Introverts are typically comfortable making decisions without relying heavily on others' opinions, trusting our own judgment. Innovation. Because introverts often spend time in solitude, they have the mental space to innovate and think outside the box, free from external distractions. We also can excel at problem solving.

David Hall [00:15:28]:
Introverts are methodical in their approach to problems, breaking them down, considering all angles before arriving at a well thought through solution. We can also be adaptable. You know, it's true. We might prefer structured environments a lot of the time, but we can adapt to changes by using our reflective nature to assess new situations calmly. And introverts can be loyal. Once introverts form close relationships that we spend some time on, we can be loyal and dedicated to maintaining those close connections over time. Many introverts can exhibit humility, preferring to let their work speak for itself rather than seeking the spotlight. Again, some of us are gonna want the spotlight.

David Hall [00:16:15]:
We're not all the same. Introverts could be comfortable with solitude. Introverts often enjoy spending time alone, which allows us to recharge and also engage in productive self reflection. Perseverance is another. Introverts are persistent and often continue working on tasks long after others may lose interest or motivation, leading to high quality outcomes. Many introverts have a strong intuition, which helps them make decisions based on gut feelings and subtle cues others might miss. And we often possess a depth of knowledge. Our preference for deep focus allows us to master some complex subjects or skills over time, leading to expertise in specific areas.

David Hall [00:17:04]:
And often we're internally motivated rather than seeking external rewards or recognition. Introverts are often driven by internal goals, personal values, making our efforts more consistent and genuine. Another, we might have strong research skills. Introverts tend to be meticulous researchers, taking time to dig deep into topics and gather all relevant information before forming conclusions. And I know, for me, I enjoy doing some research. Mindful learning. Introverts are self directed learners, absorb information at their own pace, resulting in deeper understanding of complex subjects. Introverts also may have a gift for what we're gonna call thoughtful leadership.

David Hall [00:17:51]:
Introverts, when in leadership roles, tend to lead through example and careful consideration, often empowering others with quiet confidence and empathy. Introverts can be amazing leaders. Critical thinking. Introverts excel at weighing the pros and cons of a situation, making well rehearsed decisions that are grounded in analysis and logic. You also can be very good at long term planning. With the preference for careful consideration. Introverts often excel in creating long term strategies and plans, balancing immediate actions with future goals. And the next one, resourcefulness.

David Hall [00:18:31]:
We're adept at finding solutions independently using creativity and persistence to overcome challenges without needing external assistance, and we're intellectually curious. Introverts often have a deep thirst for knowledge and understanding, leading to explore a wide range of interest in-depth, and we can also be comfortable with ambiguity. Our thoughtful nature helps introverts navigate certain or ambiguous situations, allowing us to remain composed while others may feel overwhelmed. And then observational humor. Introverts often have a unique brand of humor that stems from their keen observational skills, offering witty and insightful commentary on the world around them. I think a lot of comedians are introverts because we do see the absurdity in life sometimes, and we make meaningful contributions in group settings. We might not speak as frequently as our extroverted colleagues, but when we do, our input is often insightful and valuable and contributing to the depth of the conversation. And we have an appreciation for solitude.

David Hall [00:19:54]:
Introverts just don't tolerate alone time. We often thrive in it, using solitude to recharge, reflect, and explore our personal interests. And along with that, it's not only that we could be in solitude, but we respect the silence. Introverts are comfortable with silence and use it effectively to allow space for others to gather their thoughts, enhancing meaningful dialogue. And we are good at preparation. Introverts tend to prepare meticulously for tasks, meetings, presentations, ensuring that we're well informed and ready for the questions and challenges. And preparation is one of the main keys for success as an introvert. So did you identify several of these as being yours or versions of them as being yours? Be proud of who you are.

David Hall [00:20:50]:
You have great and unique strengths, and this should give you confidence. Don't compare yourself to others, but stand out in your own way. Honor your needs as an introvert, and continue to develop your strategies for success. And your strategies for success will likely look different from your extroverted friend or colleague. And check out past episodes as guests share examples of their strategies. As always, we have some awesome guests coming up. So thank you so much for joining me today. I appreciate you.

David Hall [00:21:23]:
Remember, if you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there's now a free type finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the four letter Myers Briggs code. I'll add a link in the show notes, and I'd love to connect with you. Please reach out at david@quietandstrong.com or check out the quietandststrong.com website, which includes blog posts and links to social media for Quiet and Strong. Send me topics or guests that you would like to see on the show. There's so many great things about being an introvert, and we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.