Ep 194 - Mastering Public Speaking for Introverts with guest Maria Malik

Have you ever wondered how introverts can excel at public speaking? In this enlightening episode of The Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall sits down with Maria Malik to uncover strategies specifically designed for introverts to shine in the public speaking arena.

Maria introduces the concept of “skeleton notes” and preparation techniques, showcasing how introverts can effectively manage their energy for impactful communication. She also shares powerful storytelling methods to captivate and engage any audience.

Tune in to discover:

• Effective preparation strategies tailored for introverts
• The importance of authenticity and self-awareness in public speaking
• How to utilize feedback wisely and understand your unique strengths
• The scientific and psychological approach to overcoming public speaking fears

By the end of this episode, you’ll gain valuable insights into how introverts can harness their natural abilities to become confident, strong, and authentic communicators. Don't miss this opportunity to transform your public speaking skills—and be strong.

Maria Malik is an Executive Speaking Coach specializing in helping introverted leaders gain executive presence. With a track record of empowering 200+ leaders, Maria equips them to speak assertively, command attention, and impress with their delivery, enabling them to project confidence and lead with impact.

Connect with Maria on LinkedIn

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/194

Transcript

Maria Malik [00:00:00]:
My journey with public speaking, I was petrified of public speaking. I hated it. I was always that quiet person in the room. I couldn't wait to leave. I've run out of networking events. I hated any type of social gathering, but the problem was in the corporate world. And I was in the corporate world for almost 10 years. You had to do it.

Maria Malik [00:00:17]:
There was just no and ifs or buts. So I knew that if I wanted to move up the corporate ladder, if I wanted my career to excel, I had to overcome the fear of public speaking, get better presentations, all this stuff. So I read a lot of books, hired a coach, took a lot of courses, and it took me a long, long time. But when I did get much better at it, what I noticed was my career was progressing faster and faster.

David Hall [00:00:51]:
Hello, and welcome to episode 194, the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quiet and strong dot com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts and strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we'll learn each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review or a rating. That would mean a lot to me and help others find the show.

David Hall [00:01:19]:
Tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Maria Malik is an executive speaking coach specializing in helping introverted leaders gain executive presence. With a track record of empowering over 200 leaders, Maria equips them to speak assertively, command attention, and impress with their delivery, enabling them to project confidence and lead with impact. Alright. Well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, Maria. Maria, it's so good to have you on today.

Maria Malik [00:01:52]:
Thank you for having me, David. Happy to be here.

David Hall [00:01:55]:
Yeah. We're gonna get into the work you do as executive coach for speaking, public speaking, especially for introverts. And I really have been enjoying your content on LinkedIn, and I'm looking forward to this conversation.

Maria Malik [00:02:09]:
Me too.

David Hall [00:02:10]:
So, Maria, let's let's start at the beginning. So tell us about your journey as an introvert to now being a public speaking coach for other introverts.

Maria Malik [00:02:19]:
Yeah. So I was an introvert my whole life. I had no idea. I think it took me a long time to figure it out. But when I did, I was like, oh, okay. So nothing's wrong with me. This is actually pretty normal. Almost 50% of the population is introverted.

Maria Malik [00:02:33]:
So it made sense. My journey with public speaking, I was petrified of public speaking. I hated it. I was always that quiet person in the room. I couldn't wait to leave. I've run out of networking events. I hated any type of social gathering, but the problem was in the corporate world, and I was in the corporate world for almost 10 years, you had to do it. There was just no and ifs or buts.

Maria Malik [00:02:53]:
So I knew that if I wanted to move up the corporate ladder, if I wanted my career to excel, I had to overcome the fear of public speaking, get better presentations, all this stuff. So I read a lot of books. I wrote a coach, took a lot of courses, and it took me a long, long time. But when I did get much better at it, what I noticed was my career was progressing faster and faster. That anxiety, the nervousness, everything was getting minimized. So I and on the other side, I start to really enjoy going to meetings because I now knew what to do, what to say. I enjoy doing presentations. So one thing that I felt like was lacking when I was trying to get better was the fact that most public speakers were all extroverts.

Maria Malik [00:03:39]:
So I was like, hey, why aren't we not seeing more and more introverts out there? So I kind of started helping other people just 1 on 1. It started with colleagues, started with friends. And then eventually I thought, you know, why not take this something that I could teach a lot of people? So that's how it kind of got into it. And now I'm almost four and a half, 5 years in, and I haven't looked back. So that's kind of my journey with public speaking and how I got into teaching other people.

David Hall [00:04:05]:
Awesome. Awesome. And, you're definitely not the first person on this show that and myself included, like, as an introvert, we felt like something was wrong. You know? And that's the message of the show is no. Actually, you're brilliant. You just gotta learn about introversion and how to embrace it. So when did you learn the term introvert and did you have to embrace your introversion?

Maria Malik [00:04:30]:
I think it was during universities. I think I was probably maybe 23, maybe 22 or something, 22, 23. And that's when I noticed, like, everyone was so much more talkative and I was like, my mile was the quiet one. And someone, I think, actually said to me, hey, you're you're an introvert. And I was like, what's that? Like, I had no idea what that was. So I think, you know, as one does, I went home and I Googled what is an introvert. That's when everything kinda clicked. I was like, oh my god.

Maria Malik [00:04:56]:
Yes. That's me. That's me. That's me. So that's how I was like, wow. This is a thing. Like, I'm not crazy. I'm not someone that, you know, like, this doesn't belong.

Maria Malik [00:05:06]:
I just navigate through the world differently, and I act and behave differently based off of my personality. So it was refreshing in a way to know that it's something normal.

David Hall [00:05:14]:
Yeah. Was there what are what do you consider a strength that you have because you're an introvert?

Maria Malik [00:05:21]:
Many. I have so many, and this is what I really try to tell other people too. Most people, they think that you have to be more extroverted. You have to do this. You have to do that. But the thing is, I You have to do this. You have to do that. But the thing is, as an introvert, some of the strengths that I personally have, and I know most introverts have, number 1, I think I'm very good at listening and understanding.

Maria Malik [00:05:33]:
So introverts in general, like we listen very well. We process things and then we speak. So the substance of our message and the substance of what we say, I think weighs a lot heavier than someone that just thinks on their feet and just boom, boom, boom, gives you an answer. I think that's number 1. I think the second thing is I'm very good at observing from the sidelines before I do anything. So even when I started LinkedIn, I think there was, like, a good few months where I was just like, what's everyone else doing? How are they doing it? Oh, this is doing well. That's not doing too good. Okay.

Maria Malik [00:06:07]:
So this is what people like. So I think observation and just sitting there in silence and looking and observing before you take action, I think that is definitely a strength that I have. I think another one is that introverts, I think there's a misconception that people think you have to be speaking a lot. You have to be the loudest in the room. I think another strength that I have is that when I do speak, because it's of substance and because I don't speak as often that when I do speak, people do tend to turn around and listen and pay more attention because they know, okay, Maria doesn't speak as much, but when she does, it's always really good. So I think that's definitely a strength as well. So these are some of the things. And like I said, there's a million more, but these are the ones that really stand out to me.

David Hall [00:06:49]:
Yeah. And I think that was one of my biggest ahas in gaining confidence as an introvert is that we do think and then speak. In fact, that's the name of the it's it's a longer story, but that's the where the Quiet and Strong podcast came from because somebody said something like that to me. You know, like, you're not speaking all the time, but you've really thought through your answers. And when you speak, people listen, You know? So, you know, people were learning, hey, when Marina speaks, it's gonna be gold because she's been, you know, thinking about it. And that was probably one of the biggest ahas for me is that, you know, extroverts process out loud most of the time. And we're thinking, and we're sharing what we think is most important. And it's valuable because it's well thought through.

David Hall [00:07:32]:
But and the other thing was I figured out, oh, I am never gonna talk as much as my extrovert friend. You know what? I used to probably try try to be more like an extrovert, but, you know, now it's like, just be proud of your introverted self. And I don't call any activities extroverted. You know, I just say, you know, I love giving public speeches, but I'm gonna prepare my extroverted actually extroverted. I'm gonna prepare my introverted way, and I'm gonna make sure that, you know, I manage my energy and that type of thing. But I I love it, but it doesn't make me an extrovert. Right?

Maria Malik [00:08:04]:
Exactly.

David Hall [00:08:05]:
So let's get into speaking. What makes a good speech? And, of course and when we're talking about it, you know, you were talking about how you were learning these things in the workplace. So it's not always getting up in front of many people. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it's just giving those presentations in a in a work setting. You know? There's lots of ways that we're speaking in public.

Maria Malik [00:08:24]:
Yes. So I think the question is what makes a great speech or great presentation? So to me, what makes a good speech or presentation is when you deliver your message effectively and concisely. I think, especially in today's world, everyone is busy. No one wants to be there for an hour if you don't have to be. If that same message could be delivered in half an hour, I would rather get that message in half an hour. I would rather deliver it in half an hour. So if you can effectively deliver your message, your audience understands what you're trying to say. They take away something from it.

Maria Malik [00:08:56]:
They take the value from it. They understand the value and they remember it. I think a great speech and presentation is always if someone takes one key point and they remember it for the rest of their life, or at least they understand the message of it. I think that's what makes a great presentation or a great speech. So it doesn't have to be the, you know, I don't think you have to get a standing ovation in order to be like, wow, I did amazing. I think it's more aligned and more along the lines of where people actually feel moved and understand your message.

David Hall [00:09:27]:
Yeah. Absolutely. We're definitely gonna get more into that. On this show, we talk about the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success, and we're definitely getting into that. We also bust myths. That's a big part. So is there a myth about public speaking and or introversion in general that you wanna bust today?

Maria Malik [00:09:45]:
I think there's a couple, but one that comes to mind is that introverts can't be good leaders. I think most people think and expect that extroverts of people that stand up there and yell and, you know, really command the room. Those are the people that make great leaders and though they are typically the people that are extroverted. So I think that's a huge myth. I don't think you have to be an extrovert to be an effective and good leader. I think on the contrary, I feel like as an introvert, you're a better leader because you have more empathy. I think you understand people better. You connect better.

Maria Malik [00:10:17]:
You feel things differently. So it's not just you. And I think that introverts are just better team players to be to be honest. Because, again, you take out that time to understand and observe. So that's a huge myth. You do not need to be an extrovert to be a leader. You can be a great leader as an introvert.

David Hall [00:10:37]:
Yeah. For sure. Introverts can make amazing leaders. Mhmm. But this just it might be it might look different. Right? We might succeed differently than our extrovert. It's somebody else doing something similar as extrovert. So, you know, we might be more thoughtful.

David Hall [00:10:54]:
We're definitely good at connecting 1 on 1 and in small groups. So we have to use our strengths, but we can be amazing leaders. So, yeah, good one. Very good.

Maria Malik [00:11:04]:
Okay.

David Hall [00:11:06]:
So as far as speaking goes, is it something that people are born with, or can we learn to be great speakers?

Maria Malik [00:11:14]:
K. That's another mess. I don't think public speaking is a talent. It's definitely a skill, and I'm proof of that. My over 200 clients that I've worked with are proof of that. So it's definitely a skill. And the great thing is that anyone can learn it at any age. You can start early.

Maria Malik [00:11:33]:
You can start middle of your life even at the end of your life. I have people that have come to me as young as 19 to as old or older than, you know, like, 60. So it's still possible at any age, and that's what tells me that it's a skill. It's it's a it's a mix of things as well. A lot of it is also mindset. It's technique. A little bit of it is psychology. And I think that's what I really teach people.

Maria Malik [00:11:55]:
And that's what I don't see out there. I think most people just teach like the technical part of it, but public speaking is so complex because it really is deep and rooted in your fears and who you are as a person. So I think once you learn these three things, then that's how you can call it a skill, and it's very, very easy to learn, surprisingly.

David Hall [00:12:15]:
Yeah. Let's talk a little bit more. What what do you mean by the psychology of it?

Maria Malik [00:12:20]:
Yeah. So I so before I started my business online and before it blew up and everything, I was actually doing my clinical psychology degree. So I'm very into psychology. I think it doesn't matter what field you're in, what you do. Psychology is always the baseline, the most important thing in any business, in any field, in any industry. And it's because we're human beings. You're dealing with human beings. I like to joke that, you know, we don't know what the future is gonna be.

Maria Malik [00:12:46]:
Maybe we'll be lecturing or speaking in front of AI or whatnot. But for now, we're still dealing with human beings. That's why I think psychology plays such a big role. And if you just forget other people too for a second, your own psychology, the reason why you're afraid of public speaking to begin with is because there's something there. Right? You have a fear. There's either a fear of a fear of failure or a fear of not being good enough or a fear of embarrassment, a fear of judgment. There's something there that's stopping you from just getting up there and speaking to the world and just being like, hey. This is what I have to say and doing it so eloquently.

Maria Malik [00:13:22]:
So that's why I think that psychology plays a huge role, and that's why I focus on psychology too once I when I work with my clients. And I think that's what really gives me the edge, and I think that's what helps my clients get those fast results when you start to understand where that fear is actually coming from.

David Hall [00:13:39]:
Yeah. Does an example come to your mind of, like, a fear someone had and how you helped them overcome it?

Maria Malik [00:13:45]:
Yes. There are so many. I think one, a lot of people that I work with are multicultural. So one example that I can give you, and I always remember this example because I feel like people don't realize how common this is. So most of the clients that I work with, they are people that are from a different country, born and raised in a different country, and they moved to the states or they've moved to Canada. So I knew this one one of my clients, she came in. She was Indian. So she was born and raised in India, and she was maybe like 5 or 6 years old when she moved to the United States and she moved into a town where she was the only Indian there.

Maria Malik [00:14:22]:
So the school that she went to, you know, she said that she was picked on a lot and she always felt like from then on, she always felt like she had to do extra and she had to do more to feel to like kind of prove herself to people. Right? So when she would get up in front of a large audience, those thoughts, those feelings would all be there with her. And that's why she struggled a lot with public speaking because she felt like if I don't do this well, then I will not fit in. I will not be accepted by other people. So I think that is one great example of why that fear develops. And she carried that on with her through high school, through college, and then through work. So I think when we finally started working on it, she realized that it's so it's almost like silly because it was so long ago. And now where she is, she's extremely successful.

Maria Malik [00:15:08]:
She started to kind of recognize all her accomplishments and she finally started to feel like she doesn't have to prove herself to other people to feel like she fits in. So I think that mindset shift that she had really affected the way that now like, how she shows up in front of other people. So that's one of many, many examples I can give you. Yeah.

David Hall [00:15:29]:
And I've also heard that's a really good way to gain confidence is to keep track of your accomplishments. And that, you know, usually, this is this has been something for me. There's a reason why you're speaking, you know, because you do have something to share. But I know, like, for me, like, perfectionism can said in the past, it doesn't affect me anymore. But, you know, I I basically told myself, guess what? You're not perfect. Nobody else listening to you is either, and you have a lot to share. There's a reason why you're here and and thoughts like that. So it sounds like that's what kinda worked for her is just realizing, you know what? I have some amazing things to offer, and I don't need to let them stop me.

David Hall [00:16:07]:
Right?

Maria Malik [00:16:08]:
Yeah. Exactly.

David Hall [00:16:09]:
So, also, another thing that I think is really important, and I I I've heard you talk about it too, is just being authentic. You know? How does that help in in giving good speeches?

Maria Malik [00:16:25]:
Great question. So how does being authentic help in giving great speeches? So I think this also does boil down a little bit to psychology too. Human beings are smart. So your audience is very smart. So if you get up there and you pretend or fake it, or you pretend to be this ideal speaker that you and your mind think is, you know, the greatest speaker. The thing is that it comes off as fake because it's not you. And us human beings, we pick up when something is not real or it's not genuine. You could just tell like it might be the body language or movement, or maybe something somebody says or expressions.

Maria Malik [00:17:00]:
So people can tell when you're not being yourself. And I think a big part of public speaking is connecting and building trust with your audience. So if they feel like you're not genuine, you're not building trust with them. And then half of the stuff you're gonna say is just gonna go over their head or they're not gonna believe you. So that's why it's so important to be yourself. And you do that by bringing a little bit of little parts of your personality, little elements into your into the mix. For example, David, let's say someone is very funny. I'm not a funny person, so I don't try to be funny.

Maria Malik [00:17:32]:
If I had come here and tried to make jokes and be funny, like, they would fall flat because it's not me. So I don't even try. But if someone is funny, I always tell them why am I not seeing this humor when you get up and speak? I have so many clients where when I'm just talking to them 1 on 1, they're hilarious. And then when it's time to present something, they're like, you know, it's like suit and tie, like perfect reporter type of voice. And I'm like, who is this? That's not you. So as soon as they start incorporating those elements of their personality, that's when it's like, oh my gosh, it's more fun for the audience and it's more fun for you as well to kind of bring your authentic self. It's easier. You're more relaxed.

Maria Malik [00:18:09]:
You're not feeling like I'm putting on a show. It's just, hey, I'm here and I'm here to bring value. This is this is it. So that's why it's so important. And that's why I'm a big advocate for a be yourself. It's maybe a more polished version of yourself if you feel like you're too relaxed and too calm. So just a polished version of yourself is what people should be getting.

David Hall [00:18:29]:
Yeah. And back to the psychology, what are your tips for someone getting to know themselves, becoming self aware? You know, how would you help someone that's struggling with that?

Maria Malik [00:18:41]:
One of the best exercises I think you could do to help you see what your strengths are and what your weaknesses are is ask the people around you. And I mean, people that actually genuinely love and care for you, your family, your close friends, maybe you have a coworker or 2, your bestie at work, ask them. They will tell you, hey, this is what I love about you. You know, you are great at listening or you're great at understanding a concept and putting it together and executing it or, and they'll tell you like, ask them the weaknesses too. Hey, you know what? You're sometimes you're really stubborn. Sometimes even if I tell you, Hey, this isn't wrong. You have to do it yourself and then you get it wrong and then you come back and say, you know what? You were right. So I think that's a great way to know yourself.

Maria Malik [00:19:23]:
And I actually did this exercise before I started my business. My business coach made me do it and it was so eyeopening and that is what made me realize, Hey, public speaking and communication is the route I should take, because that was something everyone told me. You're really good at this. Hey, when you speak like, this is what I love. So that's one really good way. I think. Act like, sit down and actually have this conversation with them and be serious about it. You know, it doesn't have to be a game.

Maria Malik [00:19:47]:
Like, tell them, seriously, I need to know what do you like about me? What do you think I'm good at? What am I bad at?

David Hall [00:19:53]:
Yeah. And I like that you said, you know, it's people that know you and care about you because you could get some bad feedback out there too. So it's really important to pick wisely who you're getting feedback from. I I've experienced.

Maria Malik [00:20:06]:
Absolutely.

David Hall [00:20:07]:
And then I know you also talk about helping people, you know, especially introverts have presence. Tell us what that means and how to how does someone develop presence?

Maria Malik [00:20:19]:
Presence to me is someone that walks into a room and they don't have to say anything, but people just understand kind of who you are without you having to do anything. So it's almost like your aura. So everyone has an aura. People some people have good aura. Some people have bad aura. Some people have, you know, very confused aura. So you can tell a lot about a person just by their aura. So your presence is your aura, and people have to feel your aura.

Maria Malik [00:20:46]:
So if you walk in, like I said, if you walk into a room, people it's like it's like that energy shift. And I think most of us and this is a great thing with introverts who were really good at picking up energy. So your presence is the energy that you bring to the table without having to speak or say anything. And it's very important to I don't think you develop that. A lot of us just naturally have an aura. But once you learn your like, yourself and what you're doing, people are more inclined to pick it up then, and people you can kind of control it a little bit more. If you know that, hey. This is a meeting I need to be very serious in, and I need to make a point here.

Maria Malik [00:21:22]:
You're obviously going to bring a different type of aura. You're going to, like, bring there's different, I think, levels of aura. So you kind of highlight and bring the more serious aura into that meeting.

David Hall [00:21:32]:
Yeah. And I think it's related to having confidence. And I always I always preface this with not all introvert struggle with confidence. Okay? I know some introverts that have been confident their whole lives. They they're deep thinkers, you know, and they need time to process things, but they could be very outspoken. There's others, which I think you're included. I I know I'm included. I had to learn how to develop confidence, you know, because I didn't understand my introversion, you know, so I I definitely did that.

David Hall [00:22:06]:
For someone that's an introvert and lacks confidence, what are what are some tips you have to develop confidence?

Maria Malik [00:22:13]:
There's a lot. I think number 1, I think knowledge really is power. So if you're not confident in something, learn about it. Just like public speaking. If you're not good at it, get that help you need. Learn about public speaking. Practice it. That's gonna give you the confidence because now you have that knowledge and now you can execute it.

Maria Malik [00:22:31]:
So I think that's one thing. And I think the other thing, a trick that I once learned and I feel like it's helped me on a more personal level is if you wanna gain confidence in yourself, then, like, keep promises that you make to yourself. For example, if you say, I'm gonna work out 5 times this week, hold yourself accountable and work out 5 times that week. You're gonna feel so proud of yourself. You're gonna have more confidence in yourself that I did it. Or let's go into the workplace. Let's say, you know, if you wanna feel more confident, say next time my boss offers me or asks, you know, who wants to present this, I'll put up my hand first and say, I will do it and I will do a great job. Put up your hand.

Maria Malik [00:23:07]:
Do that presentation. Do a great job. You'll have more confidence in yourself because you'll know that, hey. I set myself up. I said I was gonna do this, and I actually did it. I think that's a really, really good way of gaining confidence in yourself because it can come from outside. It all comes from in here. So these little things make a huge difference.

David Hall [00:23:28]:
Yeah. You brought up a couple really good points there. So first, it's like, you know, mindset in like a growth mindset. Just because maybe you haven't been successful, like, in the in the work and in growth mindset, it's like, I haven't been successful yet, but I still can I still can be? You know?

Maria Malik [00:23:47]:
Exactly. There it's never too late. I have seen and you know what? The thing with confidence also, I've worked with a lot of people that say I was so confident in my twenties, and now I'm in my thirties, and I don't know what's going on. I'm like it's like going away and, you know, this and that. And then when we work together, it, like, comes back. So it ebbs and flows. Like, you're not gonna be the most confident person every single day of your life. You're gonna have days where you're just feeling a little bit down, but you can bounce back from it.

Maria Malik [00:24:14]:
You will maybe even have, like, a few weeks of not feeling confident. But there are so many things you could do. You just wanna you need to just want to have it bad enough, and you will, like, you will get there then.

David Hall [00:24:26]:
Yeah. And then the other thing you said, put yourself out there, you know. And all the things that we're talking about today as an introvert, you can do that. But at work or wherever, make, you know, take advantage of those public speaking opportunities. And they may not be perfect, but another gift we have as introverts is we're really good at reflection. You know? So we can give that speech, and afterward, we can think you know? And I always like to start with what went well. You know? Not not not beating myself up, but, like, yeah, that went well. Next time I'm gonna try this.

David Hall [00:24:59]:
You know? So we're so good. That's another gift that we have. I think I think every introvert has that is being able to be reflective.

Maria Malik [00:25:06]:
Absolutely. Exactly.

David Hall [00:25:08]:
Yeah. Another key for introverts is we have a gift for preparation, and we have a need for preparation. So what do you say about that? Like, what what did what do you do to prepare, or what do you help clients do to prepare for a speech?

Maria Malik [00:25:25]:
Great question. I think, first of all, going back to preparation, I think most people don't prepare well. If you are prepared well and correctly, half of your nerves, half of that anxiety, half of that fear is gone right away because you know what you're doing. So I think most people just don't know how to prepare correctly. They think, hey, let me just put together a presentation or the speech, and I'll just go there and, like, you know, rehearse once or twice. I I don't think that's enough, especially if you have a fear of public speaking. So something that I personally love helping my clients with, and I do this early on in our first or second coaching call is I help them prepare something I created that's called skeleton notes. So it's a very perfectly formatted way of how you basically, it's like a brain dump, but a very organized brain dump.

Maria Malik [00:26:12]:
So I have a specific formatting that I make people follow. Hey, I have these bullet points here, highlight this, do this, do that. And what that basically serves as is a way for you to be able to remember everything, put it into good structure, take everything out of your mind. So when you're actually speaking, there's room in there for you to think and to be able to expand anytime you need to. So I think it's it's called skeleton notes. I'd love to, like, you know, get into in more deep detail, but it's basically just the way that you prepare, whether it's a speech, a presentation, a 5 minute meeting. I always tell my clients, did you create your skeleton notes? Let's see your skeleton notes. Let's take a look at them.

Maria Malik [00:26:49]:
And another thing that they're really good for is if you go blank, you have to have something to refer to because when you go blank, no matter how prepared you are, if your nerves take over, you might go blank. At least you'll have your skeleton notes to take a look at. So preparation is key, but it's also doing it the right way. That makes a huge difference as well. I'm gonna give you an example actually, David. I had a client that I worked with 1 on 1. He's a business owner. So he went to a conference, and he's very funny.

Maria Malik [00:27:18]:
He he's actually hilarious, but he went to a conference and he didn't realize that he was supposed to do a speech. So there were 20 people that are supposed to do a speech and there it was a competition. So he's like, oh, crap. Someone asked him, oh, what are you talking about during your speech? He's like a speech. What do you mean? So he was like, I remembered what you taught me. He's like, I had, like, 15 minutes. He's like, I sat down. I wrote my skeleton notes.

Maria Malik [00:27:40]:
He's like, I did the speech, and he actually won the best speech award that night. So I have a picture of him on my LinkedIn. He sent me a photo with his trophy, and he's like, I cannot believe this happened. But that's how effective preparing correctly it really is. So that's what I kind of teach my clients. I like saving time. I don't like spending too much time on things. So if you do it efficiently, if you do it correctly, you're also going to get good results.

Maria Malik [00:28:05]:
So preparation is definitely key, but doing it the right way.

David Hall [00:28:08]:
Yeah. I love that story. So it's like obviously, it would have been better if you would have even prepared earlier and and all that good stuff. But just the fact that he took the time right before is better. Because, you know, let's be honest, thinking on our feet isn't our our superpower. You know? It's the preparation. And even just him articulating, you know, formulating his thoughts even just a little bit before made it effective for him. Again, it would probably be better if he was more if he had known and done more, but just the fact that he just didn't stand up there without thinking first may made it made it a great a great speech.

David Hall [00:28:48]:
Right?

Maria Malik [00:28:49]:
Exactly.

David Hall [00:28:50]:
Do you think the preparation is different between introverts and extroverts?

Maria Malik [00:28:55]:
Yes. I think extroverts from what I've seen, I think they don't prepare enough. I think they have and you know what? It's great. I'm never gonna say that it's bad to be an extrovert. They just operate differently and it works for them. That's the great thing. Us introverts, we just have to work differently. So I think extroverts, they're very good at thinking on the spot.

Maria Malik [00:29:15]:
They are very good at just putting things together and okay, we'll spend like that 1 hour. All right. Let me get up there. I'm just going to do my thing out. I know what to say and they do great. That's great for extroverts. Right? Us introverts. We unfortunately cannot do that.

Maria Malik [00:29:28]:
We have to sit there and read and okay, I'm going to do this and rehearse and practice. So that's when I come in and really help introverts, like, figure out how to do all of that yet still get up there and shine and not be so in your head all the time so that you can actually, you know, leave an impact on your audience. So, yeah, totally different.

David Hall [00:29:47]:
Yeah. And that's the whole point. You know, we're not bashing extroverts. It's just different. I love how you said that. It's just different. And I've worked with many, you know, I I've co presented with with a good friend of mine who's an extrovert, and she was just better at winging it than I am, you know? And and I could be I could be jealous and think, oh, I cannot be more like her or I could, you know, do the preparation that I've learned that I need and, you know, do well.

Maria Malik [00:30:13]:
Yeah. Exactly. It says it's different, unfortunately.

David Hall [00:30:17]:
Yeah. Yeah. But again and I've heard this, you know, from people like yourself or other people that work around a lot of public speakers that a lot of public speakers are introverts. And it's it's we have a lot to say because we're always thinking. But we need to understand how we prepare. And I think another important component of it is how we manage our energy. So how do you yourself manage your energy around speeches or presentations and you know? Or what do you how do you help clients with that, you know, being an introvert?

Maria Malik [00:30:51]:
Yeah. Again, great question. So because we're so low on energy or we have most energy in the morning and it kind of depletes as we go on. So I think what we as introverts need to do is we have to prioritize our time. You have to organize your time. And this is something I was very bad at. I need I that's that's why even today, like we reschedule this and I was like, okay, tomorrow I have so many meetings. I'm going to be drained.

Maria Malik [00:31:17]:
I'm not going to bring my best foot forward. So let's move this to today. Cause I know today I have more energy. I'm not as you know, I haven't been interacting as much with people. So I know I'd be able to bring my a game. So being able to prioritize schedule everything accordingly, always know you're going to have more energy in the morning as the day goes on, it's going to be less and less. So prioritize things that are important earlier in the week as well because I think as the week goes, you get more and more tired. So Monday, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, put all your important meetings, everything on there, and then take it easy the rest of the days.

Maria Malik [00:31:48]:
I think that helps. Sleep, I think is just if anyone knows me, like, I can sleep 12 hours. If I've had a rough day, I will sleep 12 hours because that's what we use to recharge. Right? Alone time is important for us to recharge. So recharge either through sleep, being alone, get get that battery. Think of it as a battery. You're a battery and you need to like be plugged in and you need to like, you know, recharge. So you're you perform better the next day.

Maria Malik [00:32:14]:
So I think these small things make a huge difference. It took me a long time to figure this out because I was just like, why am I all tired? Why am I, like, brain dead? Why can't I focus on this conversation? These things make a huge difference. Once you know yourself, you can then organize things in a way in your life that you can still do great at everything and still not feel so drained and dead by the end of it. So Yeah. It's a big one.

David Hall [00:32:38]:
Yeah. An important part of that is not comparing yourself because, again, when I was presenting with a friend of mine, I would notice that you know what? I love that we had such a good time. I'm ready to take a break. And she was ready to give the next speech, you know, and it just it charged her up, and she was and, again, it's just different. It's just different. So, you know, plan the downtime afterward or, you know, the, I call it precharging, the precharging ahead of time. You know, for these podcasts, right, have a hour before and a hour after, and that's not negotiable. That's just how I do it because I wanna be my best, you know, for you and for other people.

David Hall [00:33:17]:
And if I need to take a break afterward, I I just it's planned into into this.

Maria Malik [00:33:23]:
Exactly. Yep. Makes sense.

David Hall [00:33:26]:
Maria, another another important piece that's helped me is just learning to bring storytelling into it all. So what's the impact of storytelling in in an effective speech?

Maria Malik [00:33:39]:
Oh my gosh. I love that you brought up storytelling. I have a whole module, a whole section where I just teach my clients storytelling. Storytelling is such a powerful tool in your speech, your presentation, even just when you're speaking to someone. And let me tell you my own story with this and how I experienced it. So when I first started posting on LinkedIn, I was giving lots of tips. It's very educational, some practical content, things like that. It wasn't until I shared my personal story and why I do what I do that I didn't, you know, I didn't get traction.

Maria Malik [00:34:14]:
So when I shared my story, I got 2,000,000 views within 2 days. And it's

David Hall [00:34:18]:
Oh, wow.

Maria Malik [00:34:19]:
Yeah. It it went crazy viral because people again love stories. That's how powerful it is. And if you look at all platforms, not just LinkedIn, if you look at YouTube, there's always a trend going on story time of when I did this or even TikTok right now, you'll see girls doing their makeup and say, hey, story time for when I won so and so work or whatever it is. People love stories. They wanna know it's because it creates mystery. It creates anticipation. So and and it's a journey and people like being taken on journeys.

Maria Malik [00:34:52]:
That's why it's so important. So now how do you translate this into the corporate world? So I'll give you an example. Let's say you're doing a presentation and you have to talk about statistics instead of just saying, you know, this is the growth that we've had this year in revenue. Say, if you reframe it and turn this into a story, this is the growth that we had in revenue in the past year. Here is how we got there last year, etcetera, etcetera. Like now you're telling a story. People will be invested in that and people remember stories. That's why there's so many kids stories and there's always a lesson.

Maria Malik [00:35:26]:
People might forget your entire speech, your entire presentation, but they will remember a well told story. And if you can leave them with just that a story that they will remember that has a really impactful lesson. I think you've done your job as a speaker.

David Hall [00:35:41]:
Yeah. And that's something I had to learn because I think the message was kinda like, you know, you just talked about statistics. You know, share the facts. That's what you need to do, and it's not as impactful. You know, we're built on stories, you know, from the beginning of time. You know, we've human beings, we we we're storytellers. And but I think that sometimes we feel like that people don't wanna hear our stories for whatever reason, and it's just I've just learned that it's just so important. And I know it's made me a better presenter and speaker.

Maria Malik [00:36:11]:
I think it's also a way of telling stories. People love hearing stories. People don't like telling stories because they don't know how. So that's why when I'm working with my clients, I have a whole format. And just to kind of give you a simple idea of how to tell a good story, always start with a time frame. Back in 2002, for example, or when I was 5 years old or when the company just launched in 1995, start with a time stamp so you can take people mentally to that time and then always build on the character. There has to be that struggle. So let's say we're talking about a company.

Maria Malik [00:36:45]:
What was the company struggling through? Who are the key players? What was happening? You really have to talk about that struggle to bring that character to life. Even that company, maybe the company is the main character. Bring that character to life. People have to feel for them and then you get into the details. And then, lastly, it's something that's very important for a story having a lesson. I'm telling you this today because X, Y, and Z. That's just the simplest way of telling a story. And it's that's what I did when I told my story on LinkedIn.

Maria Malik [00:37:14]:
And I've had so many of my clients tell their stories that way during interviews, during presentations. And even some people went on to, like, create content on LinkedIn. And they said they saw a huge difference in the level of engagement and what people liked. So very simple, easy to do.

David Hall [00:37:32]:
Yeah. And as you were talking about, you know, talk about the struggle, Just think about your favorite movie. That's what the movie is based on. Do you know? There's a character and they're going through a journey and they're struggling and There's a problem

Maria Malik [00:37:45]:
that needs to be solved.

David Hall [00:37:46]:
Yeah. Bring the same thing into your your speeches and your communication and your public speaking. Yeah. I love that.

Maria Malik [00:37:53]:
Exactly. Mhmm.

David Hall [00:37:55]:
Alright. One last question for you, Maria. So do you have any tips as far as just online presenting and speaking, you know, like we're doing now?

Maria Malik [00:38:04]:
Yes. So the world has changed so much more and more people, especially in the future, I'm seeing that there will be more online presentations, more online speeches and whatnot. So it's a very different ballgame than when you're in person in person. It's very easy for people to pick up your energy. They see all of you. So they're reading your entire body language. So when it comes to online, you have to work with what you've got. Right? Number 1, having like always remember this little screen, like, what are people seeing? This is what people see right now.

Maria Malik [00:38:32]:
So you always wanna position yourself in a way that you're in the center and you have enough space up here and you have enough space for body language so people can see your hand movements and your hand gestures. So make sure that you're utilizing the space that you have. Second thing is audio. Online audio matters a lot more than in person. People hear you clearly and crisp in person. A lot of people don't have good mics. So invest in a good mic, especially if you're going to do a lot of online presentations. Second thing is lighting.

Maria Malik [00:39:03]:
People need to see you in order to pay attention to you online. There's so many distractions. Think about it. I have a window here. I have my phone here. My dog's right there. There's so many distractions. So if I can't see you, I'm focusing on other things.

Maria Malik [00:39:14]:
So make sure your lighting is good. And the best thing to do is have natural lighting and something like this. Like, if I showed you the difference, if I turn this light off, you see that difference? Yeah. Good lighting brighten up that screen. So people can see you. Well, so I think these two things are super important. Good. Mike.

Maria Malik [00:39:32]:
Good audio. Good visual. So people can see you focus on your background too. What's in your background? Everything you see right now is telling me something about me. Right? There's a picture of my dog, a picture of my siblings traveling. I love traveling. That's why I have a globe. Everything here is telling you something about me.

Maria Malik [00:39:50]:
So focus on your background. Don't let it just be simple. Bring some character into it. I think subconsciously again, human beings are picking up on that, going back to psychology. So that's very important too. I can go on and on, but last thing I would say is learn how to engage people online too. In person, it's very easy. Hey, put up your hand if you feel this way, you'll get that engagement.

Maria Malik [00:40:11]:
But online now it's like, hey, let me know in the chat box if you agree. I have my chat box open. I'd love to see your answers. So you need to get people to engage and you have to kind of guide them and tell them how to do it. So these are just some of the things. There's a lot more you could do, but it is a different ballgame. You have to pay attention to all of these things online. It's a little bit more work, but it's just as effective if you know what you're doing.

Maria Malik [00:40:35]:
Yeah. That's your question.

David Hall [00:40:37]:
No. Those are great tips and peep it's not always intuitive. Like, you know, you do see the person that's just kinda peeking over the wall and they or they look like they're in the witness protection program because their lighting is so bad. So, yeah, great tips. Marie, I've enjoyed this conversation thoroughly. And, again, introverts can be amazing public speakers, but you gotta learn your strengths as an introvert, what you need, like, in preparation, and what you need, like, managing your energy. So this has been very a very great conversation. Do you have anything else you wanna add?

Maria Malik [00:41:08]:
I think I the last word that I would wanna leave people with is to not give up on yourself. I think a lot of people just feel like that person is doing great. Like, we naturally compare ourselves, and we feel like we can never be like them. Let me tell you from someone that always felt that way, I was always like, how is this person doing that? That's so amazing. I wanna do that. I wanna do that. I wanna be able to do that. If you just believe in yourself, and I know it's so cliche, but if you actually believe in yourself, like that is what's gonna get you there.

Maria Malik [00:41:35]:
And I'm a prime example because I started from scratch. I started from nothing. And if someone like me, who's introverted, who was very quiet, very shy, who really struggled in the corporate world. If I could make it this far, then trust me, anyone can. You just have to have that persistence and that confidence in yourself. Even if you don't have confidence, do it. Because right now, sometimes when I go back and look at my videos, I'm like, oh my God, my first video is like, I need to delete this. This is horrible.

Maria Malik [00:42:02]:
Or what am I even saying? That doesn't even make sense. You know? So you get better with time. So if you have that goal, just take that first step. Everything else will come after everything. I promise you will come after because you learn as you go. You'll never be 100% ready when you start. Just start. If you have that goal, take that first step, and you will figure it out as you go.

Maria Malik [00:42:26]:
So that's what I would wanna say.

David Hall [00:42:29]:
Well said. Well said. And then, of course, where can people find out more about the great work that you do?

Maria Malik [00:42:35]:
I hang out on LinkedIn 247. So Maria Malik on LinkedIn, that's where I post. DM me. I always look at my DMs, and I try to respond. If you've enjoyed this, if anything stood out to you, let me know what data. It's always good to get feedback, especially learn what message resonated with you. So definitely LinkedIn.

David Hall [00:42:53]:
Yeah. And I will attest that you put some great stuff out on LinkedIn. So

Maria Malik [00:42:58]:
Thank you. It's actually my filming day, so I'm getting ready to film content for the next month.

David Hall [00:43:03]:
Oh, very cool. Very cool. Thanks again, Maria.

Maria Malik [00:43:05]:
Of course. Great talking to you, David. Thank you.

David Hall [00:43:08]:
Thank you so much for joining me today. I look forward to further connecting with you. Reach out at david@quietstrong.com or check out the quiet and strong dot com website, which includes blog posts and links to social media channels. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. If you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there's now a free type finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the 4 letter Myers Briggs code, and you can also have the option of purchasing the full report if you'd like to learn more. I'll add a link to the show notes. So many great things about being an introvert, and we need those to be understood.

David Hall [00:43:49]:
Get to know your introverted strengths and needs, and be strong.