Ep 205 - Elevating Influence With Stacey Hanke

Ever wondered what it takes to be consistently influential in both your personal and professional interactions? In this episode of The Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall sits down with Stacey Hanke, a renowned expert in influential communication strategies, to uncover the secrets behind true influence and consistent communication.

Listeners will learn about Stacey's "Monday to Monday" philosophy, which emphasizes the importance of being effective and influential every day, regardless of the setting. Stacey will also share her journey from the farm to becoming a trusted advisor to Fortune 500 executives, exploring her insights into trust, credibility, and connection.

Tune in to discover how self-awareness, feedback, and consistent practice can make you a more effective communicator and leader. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to maximize their impact and elevate their influence.

Listen, learn, and be strong!

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/205

Stacey Hanke, a leader in influential communication strategies, began her career in voice-over work, where she learned the power of word choice and delivery. With over two decades of research, she realized that true influence isn’t about titles but about building trust and credibility through meaningful connections and communication. Stacey collaborates with Fortune 500 executives, helping them understand their impact from their audience’s perspective, eliminate distractions, and achieve greater success. As a Hall of Fame Speaker, Stacey’s engaging presentations provide practical strategies to overcome modern communication barriers, foster authentic connections, and inspire action. Her Monday to Monday® philosophy empowers professionals to be impactful in every interaction, from presentations to everyday conversations, helping them drive action and achieve success.

Get Stacey's Book: Influence Elevated: Maximizing Your Connection Monday to Monday

Stacey's Website:  StaceyHankeInc.com

Get Stacey's FREE ebook for Quiet and Strong Listeners: Influence Redefined

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David Hall

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Transcript

Stacey Hanke [00:00:00]:
Influence is not something you turn on, you turn off. And I bet some of your followers can relate to this. They have a big big meeting coming up, a big presentation or sales pitch coming up, whatever it might be, and they'll practice the day before. They'll practice the morning of. And I'm like, no athlete practices right before the game. They've been practicing all the time. So influence means that no matter who you're interacting with, no matter what medium you're using, your body language is always consistent with your messaging. The second part of that definition is that you have this ability to move people to take action long after the conversation has occurred.

Stacey Hanke [00:00:40]:
I mean, you and I both know, David, that influence and trust doesn't get built in one interaction. It really is a series of interactions over time.

David Hall [00:00:59]:
Hello, and welcome to episode 205 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quiet and strong dot com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we will allow each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review or a rating. That would mean a lot to me and also help others find the show.

David Hall [00:01:28]:
Tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Stacy Hunke, a leader in influential communication strategies, beginner career in voice over work, where she learned the power of word choice and delivery. With over 2 decades of research, she realized that influence isn't about titles, but about building trust and credibility through meaningful connections and communication. Stacy collaborates with Fortune 500 executives, helping them understand their impact from their audience's perspective, eliminate distractions, and achieve greater success. As a hall of fame speaker, Stacy's engaging presentations provide practical strategies to overcome modern communication barriers, foster authentic connections, and inspire action. Her Monday to Monday philosophy empowers professionals to be impactful in every interaction from presentations to everyday conversation, helping them drive action and achieve success. Alright. Well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, Stacey.

David Hall [00:02:32]:
Stacey, it's so good to have you on today.

Stacey Hanke [00:02:34]:
Thank you. Thanks for inviting me. This is the part of my day I love doing these, so thanks for trusting me.

David Hall [00:02:40]:
Absolutely. And we're gonna get into the books that you've written, especially your latest, but first, just tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey to doing what you do now.

Stacey Hanke [00:02:51]:
Yeah. I love my journey because I grew up on a farm. I am farm girl through and through. Left that years ago and moved to the big city, lived right in Chicago. My first job was doing commercials for a radio station. And, David, I'll never forget the call I got the night before when my boss was telling me, hey. We're gonna have you record a commercial tomorrow. And I thought, oh my.

Stacey Hanke [00:03:14]:
I'll be done in an hour. How easy could that be? And it took me all day to record that commercial because I realized, wow. Just because you feel good, the power, it does not mean you are good. The power of your words and the tone of your voice. So I I stayed in the corporate world a lot. I had some big corporate jobs that I was a trainer for and then literally worked for a company that hired speakers, and that's how this all started. I started to hang on their shirt tails, having them mentor me and coach me, and I always thought, I want to do that someday. I just don't know what I would talk about.

Stacey Hanke [00:03:55]:
24 years later, which is how old my company is, that's where I am at. And we work with primarily leaders, sales professionals, increasing their awareness of how much influence they really have rather than what they believe to be true. And we do that through a lot of our practical immediate skills that people can use Monday to Monday, which means they can use it in their personal life, their professional life, and every single medium they're trying to push a message through.

David Hall [00:04:25]:
Awesome. So you're the author of 3 books. And, of course, today, we're gonna talk about your latest one, Influence Elevated, Maximizing Your Connection Monday to Monday. And I've been enjoying your book. But first, let's just talk about your first two.

David Hall [00:04:40]:
Sum of those up for us.

Stacey Hanke [00:04:41]:
Yeah. The first one was really a test run. Now that I know what I know, David, and I look at that first book, the first book was really, like, bullet points. It was more of like a manual, a how to. The previous book to Influence, Elevator, which just released, is Influence Redefined. So these two books go hand in hand. Influence Redefined was exactly that. It was our years of research at that point to really define what influence is, what it is not, and then how do you get it, Monday to Monday.

Stacey Hanke [00:05:14]:
Influence Elevate, it just released in November of this year, 2024. It is our 4 years of research in the hybrid world, how influence change, and what does it really take? And we've been talking about influence for years, but now what does it take to truly elevate it in this hybrid world that can be very noisy, very complicated for a lit lot of leaders? So the book has a lot of stories of leaders and what they've done with our skill sets and the challenges that they've had. But even bigger than that, something you shared with me before we started recording, we created an assessment. I finally create an assessment, and it identifies your influence type.

David Hall [00:05:55]:
Yeah. Absolutely. So we have a lot to talk about. There's a lot lot in there. First, what is influence? What do you mean by that?

Stacey Hanke [00:06:03]:
Yeah. That's so important. Right? That's a perfect question to start with because we all have to be on the same page. Influence is not something you turn on and you turn off. And I bet some of your followers can relate to this. They have a big big meeting coming up, a big presentation or sales pitch coming up, whatever it might be, and they'll practice the day before. They'll practice the morning of. Practice the day before.

Stacey Hanke [00:06:22]:
They'll practice the morning of. And I'm like, no athlete practices right before the game. They've been practicing all the time. So influence means that no matter who you're interacting with, no matter what medium you're using, your body language is always consistent with your messaging. The second part of that definition is that you have this ability to move people to take action long after the conversation has occurred. I mean, you and I both know, David, that influence and trust doesn't get built in one interaction. It really is a series of interactions over time. Think of it like a consumer.

Stacey Hanke [00:06:59]:
You're looking to buy a brand new car. You're going to buy a Tesla or a Lexus, whatever it might be. You've never bought one. You don't just go and buy it. Most likely, you're watching what is right about it, what's wrong. You're doing your research. And when you get this distancing, what consumers report, everyone says this, that's what increases the trust.

David Hall [00:07:21]:
Yeah. And you're talking about also your Monday to Monday philosophy. So tell us more about what that is.

Stacey Hanke [00:07:30]:
Yeah. Monday to Monday means that you're always consistent. Here's what it's not. A lot of times, I'll see someone show up on Zoom, and you could barely see them. They got this background that is just crazy in the background, or you can see their ceiling fan. They're talking anywhere but looking at you. They just don't have that presence that conveys trust and credibility. Then you meet them in person, and they're completely different.

Stacey Hanke [00:07:57]:
Or or you meet someone via Zoom, but then you receive an email or text message and you're like, woah. That's really ineffective. So Monday to Monday means people never have to guess which day that's going to show up. They always get the best of you. That's one definition of it. The second goes back to the body language and messaging. They they need to be consistent. How you see me right now, how you hear me is how you'll see me on the weekend.

Stacey Hanke [00:08:22]:
I know that sounds so common sense, but really think about how many times someone shows up and you're like, well, that's not consistent with what I thought about them. Once you start messing with your own consistency of how you show up or how you verbalize a message, people start guessing which David is it. We don't want people guessing because then they're going to start to guess your trust. Are you trustworthy? Are you credible? Are you confident? And to me, with how tough it is now to connect and engage in this hybrid world, you cannot jeopardize your reputation because you will be not heard above the noise. The noise is going to take over, and it's a lot harder to always be driving influence.

David Hall [00:09:09]:
Yeah. So how do we elevate our influence, and how do we gain self awareness to be able to do that?

Stacey Hanke [00:09:19]:
Oh, there's so much there's so much to unpack there. So I wanna give your listeners a visual just to not give them too much information. Influence elevated, I created a model that has 3 of these components that address what you just said, but each one has several underneath it. So the 3 components are momentum, presence, and connection. Momentum is well, how do you do it? Momentum is I want you to think like an athlete. An athlete gets better because they're doing what constantly? Practicing, getting feedback, and holding themselves accountable. That's what sits under momentum. Now it's not just any type of feedback, David.

Stacey Hanke [00:09:59]:
It's not feedback that sounds like good. Nice job. That was great. You did well. Like, what are you gonna do with that? But the feedback you get constantly, whether it's yourself giving yourself feedback, whether it's someone that you trust that's not going to sugarcoat it give you feedback, that's what creates momentum. But you have to be practicing. Right? You have to be practicing how you wanna show up. I want you to think like a a professional tennis player or a golf player.

Stacey Hanke [00:10:23]:
They're constantly practicing. So that's momentum. Presence okay. Go ahead. You might wanna No.

David Hall [00:10:30]:
Yeah. So let let's get back to presence. Okay. But since you brought up feedback, that's definitely something we were gonna talk about. How do we get feedback? And sometimes I even remember I try to remember how I should be giving feedback and not just saying good job because that's not very helpful. Even though it's it's nice to say it's not very helpful. So how do we get good feedback from people?

Stacey Hanke [00:10:53]:
Yeah. In influence elevated, I researched 5 different types of feedback. We're not gonna cover them all here. Just know that they're in the book. Out of all those 5, how do you how do you, when you want feedback, always prepare for the feedback? So let's say before we recorded this interview, I said to you, David, here's what I'm working on. And it might be something about my presence. It might be something about how I deliver the message. Would you watch for that during our time together? Then when we're done recording, I would quickly ask you, alright, what did you what did you pick up on? What did you notice? The more you can prepare someone for the feedback, the more it will be specific for something that that you can actually use it.

Stacey Hanke [00:11:34]:
Now anytime someone says to you, good. Nice job. Ask. What did I do? What did I say? Well, I can give you more impact. I could've given you more value. But as the person that wants the feedback, you need to work for it. And it's really asking the right questions. If you're giving a team member or someone else feedback, always make sure it's okay to give them feedback.

Stacey Hanke [00:11:57]:
If it's someone that you don't have a great relationship with, if it's someone that's on your team that's part of their development, you should be able to give them feedback. Make sure you're very clear on the feedback that you give. What's the feedback that you give? How is it in line to what they want for their development? And now what do they do with it? So that they improve that feedback and they continue to grow.

David Hall [00:12:20]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Is all feedback good feedback?

Stacey Hanke [00:12:25]:
No. No. You're one of the the 5 one of the five key types of feedback in the book. The first one is silent feedback. And I use it because so many times, some of the leaders that I would coach, I'd ask them, you know, what have you been told? What feedback do you receive? They'll either say, well, you know, I get told it's good. I'm a good presenter. I'm a good communicator. Or, you know, at this point, I've made it this far in my career.

Stacey Hanke [00:12:50]:
We really don't give each other feedback. And I tell them silent feedback is the worst feedback you could give because there's something there. And now even worse when they tell you good, nice job, or they say nothing at all, what are they saying behind your back? And I'm not saying that you're not good. You didn't do a great job. I don't know what you would do that to with that. The other is the bomb. You know, I have an ear on my team. I never give you feedback.

Stacey Hanke [00:13:18]:
And all of a sudden after a Zoom call with a client, we get done with the client and I say to you I just, like, rip it apart. And you're like, woah. Where where did that come from? You you've never said anything to me. It's similar to anyone that has performance reviews with their team once a year, twice a year, and that's it.

David Hall [00:13:37]:
Yeah. And you don't hear about anything until that year has gone by, and you're talking about stuff that's happened all year long. I've I've been in that that scenario before.

Stacey Hanke [00:13:46]:
Me too. And it's like a slap in the face. You're like, what? What? You didn't say anything for 6 months, and now you're telling me this? We talk a lot about interactive coaching which ties to feedback. So for example, when I'm coaching a leader, I might be recording them on their phone so that they can see for themselves what's really going on, but I'm interactively coaching them. When they tell me what they want to develop, I'll say, okay. Let's record you. I'm going to have you have a conversation with me, and I will start and stop you. Now why I do that is every time I interact with them to correct something or let them know, okay.

Stacey Hanke [00:14:23]:
Did you hear what you just said? That's right. That that matches your brand. If I didn't do that, I'm not increasing their awareness. So part of this interactive feedback, interactive coaching is you're letting someone know in the moment when they say or do something that's not in line with what they want and what their personal brand is. You'll increase people's awareness so much quicker, which increases and enhances their development so much quicker when you can catch it in the moment.

David Hall [00:14:54]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And I think just in general as a society, I think we need to work on this piece a lot more. I don't think we're great at giving and receiving feedback. So

Stacey Hanke [00:15:05]:
We're we're not. And I think it's seen so many times. You know, people that are told by their leader, go work with Stacy and her team, and then we'll get them and they feel like, wow. I'm getting a slap on the hand. And I'm saying to them, no. No. No. No.

Stacey Hanke [00:15:18]:
Feedback truly is a gift. You get to decide what you want to do with it, but feedback is the only thing you need to really continue to be successful is you need to constantly learn. And what is the best way to learn, to figure out what's working for you, what's not working for you, and now what are you gonna do with it? So that 90 down days down the road, you can measure backwards and look at those 90 days and say, because I applied the feedback, I'm here now versus where I started.

David Hall [00:15:50]:
Awesome. And we could probably talk about feedback for a whole episode. Right? Good. Let's get back to presence. Tell us about that.

Stacey Hanke [00:15:57]:
Presence is the idea of executive presence, and I know everyone defines it differently. I always start with you cannot have executive presence if you're not present. So that's all the body language. What does your body language communicate? Do you come across authentic if that's what you want? Do you come across trustworthy? And I teach the skills, think body language, delivery skills that tie to each of those adjectives. Because people can say, well, I really want to come across trustworthy. But how do you do that though? Where in your body language, your presence, does that come through? And then we'll elevate that by making sure that whatever they're lacking, is it confidence? Is it credibility? I'll look at the overall body language of where that's not happening. Then we need need to make sure that it's consistent with what they're saying. I'll give you an example.

Stacey Hanke [00:16:49]:
If we first started this interview, this would not be what you wanna do. And you ask me, you know, what what do you do for work or whatever? And I say to you, I am I'm really excited, David, to be here, and thank you. Thank you for, the opportunity. And, I mean, my body language is so off from my delivery.

David Hall [00:17:10]:
Yeah. It was obvious.

Stacey Hanke [00:17:11]:
Exactly. And why this is so important, we don't think about it. I challenge your listeners right now, your followers. This week, wherever you are in the week listening to this podcast, how many times did you think about what your eyes were communicating, what your hands were communicating, the tone of your voice? We think about, I've gotta get the message on, out. I've gotta create a new call to action, and then I gotta get on my next Zoom call. There's so much more to that. It's the body language is a big proponent of it. It's like the professional athlete that's trying to improve their tennis game.

Stacey Hanke [00:17:47]:
During practice, how many times do they swing that tennis racket over and over? It's elevating your influence is the same thing. It's all muscle memory.

David Hall [00:17:58]:
Yeah. And I've even found that with the podcast. I'd like to think you know, I'm I just passed 200 episodes. I'd like to think in the episode 1, I was great. But I know that with the repetitions, I've gotten better. I've gotten more comfortable. And, you know, maybe I'll even get better. But but that's the other thing I wanted to ask you.

David Hall [00:18:16]:
So I think sometimes people think that that presence is just a natural gift. But you're saying we can absolutely work on it, improve it, become self aware aware of how we're coming across and and make some changes.

Stacey Hanke [00:18:29]:
100%. I love sharing stories that this is about a year ago. He is the CFO of a large pharmaceutical company. When his boss reached out to me, they were pretty blunt. They said we'll just call him David. He said, David, he's our CFO. He's super, super smart. However, he's rubbing everyone the wrong way.

Stacey Hanke [00:18:51]:
The board is not happy with him. You don't want your board to not be happy with you. His employees wanna leave. So So I said to my wife, well, what's happening? I go, he's so rough around the edges. Like, what does that mean? Doesn't have empathy. Doesn't have warmth. He doesn't care. He snaps at people.

Stacey Hanke [00:19:07]:
I'm like, oh, great. And I made the decision. I'm like, I met with him, and I thought, you know what? There's something there. He act he's a kind man. He just does not show it. So fast forward, mentored him for 3 months. About halfway through, he shows up on one of our mentoring calls, and it was like a totally different person. And how I coached him, I had asked him at one point.

Stacey Hanke [00:19:32]:
I go, when it comes to influence, what do you want? Because I want people to just really see how authentic I am. I go, okay. So here's what's not happening. Here's why you're not authentic. Here's what you're gonna need to do. He did several recordings, saw himself on a playback. He was mortified how rough around the edges he was. We finished the mentoring, and the board couldn't believe it.

Stacey Hanke [00:19:52]:
They're like, who is this guy? But But it was him. It was really, really him. And it was just that big disconnect of he didn't realize that his knowledge is one thing. But how you come across and how you connect with people, if that's off, it doesn't matter how smart you are. People will not listen. They will not follow because they don't trust you. And so there you go. You know, and he was someone that was an extreme introvert.

Stacey Hanke [00:20:17]:
He's like, I I really don't like interacting with people. And I could get it, but you're the CFO. So how you communicate it before being in a CFO is not the same way here if you truly if you truly want to keep your job at this company. So, yes, it is possible. I tell everyone when they ask me, is it really possible for me to elevate my influence? And I'll say to them, it is. It's just gonna depend on how open you are to the feedback and how hard you're willing to work.

David Hall [00:20:45]:
Yeah. And you brought up that he was an introvert. And sometimes, you know, we are introverts are naturally turned inward, and we're not aware that we need to share a little bit more. And that's part of the self awareness. Like, we have all these great thoughts, but we need to share a little bit more. And and that's part of this self awareness, and that's a lot of what we talk about on this podcast.

Stacey Hanke [00:21:09]:
And it is I mean, whether you're introvert, extrovert and I I've worked with across the board. You've all you have good ideas. And if we can't communicate it clearly and in a way that resonates with our listeners, your ideas are not heard. If your ideas are not heard, it will really be tough to connect so that you can influence someone to act.

David Hall [00:21:33]:
Yeah. And, again, that's what it's all about is really helping people to un to have their great ideas because many introverts have these great ideas.

Stacey Hanke [00:21:43]:
Exactly.

David Hall [00:21:43]:
And aren't aren't aware of how to share them, you know, in a presentation or a speech or just Monday to Monday like you're saying. Yeah. And it's really becoming self aware and and understanding your influence and how you can elevate it like we're talking about.

Stacey Hanke [00:21:59]:
I love that. That's that's probably one of the first things in the book, influence, elevate that we I talk about is when I get asked you where should I start, ask yourself the question when it comes to influence, what do you want? You just you gotta have a baseline. Then take that Impact IQ assessment, which you have done. And once you got that baseline, then you know, okay. Here's where I'm at right now, what I want. How do I get there? And that's where we come into play.

David Hall [00:22:25]:
I love that question, and I give that question because it's it's so many people again, you know, the show is a lot about introversion, extroversion. So many people are just looking for that label, but I'm like, no. Look at your natural strengths and gifts and needs and then ask yourself that. What do I want, and how am I gonna get there with my natural strengths, gifts, and needs? And I love that question.

Stacey Hanke [00:22:49]:
That's it. You'd be surprised. Several of the instructors on my team are raising their hand. They are introverts. You'd never guess it. Right? But I I know we all have different styles even with that category attached to our name. But they need that time after working with our clients. They need that time to just have that silence and be by themselves to really think through.

Stacey Hanke [00:23:14]:
They're very clear, though, on what their influence type is and what they want when they're trying to influence and build relationships with our clients.

David Hall [00:23:24]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And a lot of that is articulating their need. So, like, I may need some time to reflect. My colleague may not. My colleague may be ready to brainstorm with somebody, and it's just important to articulate that. And for too long, you know, different needs have been some are good, some are bad. No.

David Hall [00:23:43]:
They're all good. It's just what what are they?

Stacey Hanke [00:23:46]:
Yeah. Exactly. It's clear. The third? Yeah.

David Hall [00:23:49]:
What's the third thing?

Stacey Hanke [00:23:51]:
Sits right on top. So, again, you've got the momentum. And I think I want you to picture a triangle. Momentum's the bottom right, then right above that's presence, and then it's connection. No way are we able to influence if people don't feel connected to us. And there's 2 elements to connection. The only place you build connection is through trust. Right? People have to trust you.

Stacey Hanke [00:24:17]:
And how do you do that? You do it with your eyes. If you wanna talk about the real mechanics behind it. I use the phrase only speak when you see eyes. I know that sounds so common sense, but if you're not looking at who you're speaking to, a, you can't read them, so now you can't adapt the message on the fly. If you're not focused in your eyes, you're not focused in your thoughts. Believe it or not, research shows, David, that eye connection notice the difference in terminology. I think eye connection is an elevated version of eye contact. Eye connection is the only skill it conveys trust.

Stacey Hanke [00:24:53]:
The other piece within connection is being consistent. People want to know that if they call David, they always know what to expect from you, And that is they they trust you. You're going to not waste their time. You're going to really be empathetic and warm to make sure that they feel like you really are there for them, not just for your self. And in all of this, even as I hear myself say it, when I started to put this model together and the content for the book, I'm like, god. This is so common sense. But over 4 years of watching us in this now almost 5 years of watching us in this hybrid world, the question was always from leaders, how do I connect with people? Like, wow. This is like a one zero one basic question, but we've never been given we've never been in this situation where now it's it's such a hybrid world, and no one's ever been given the how to's.

David Hall [00:25:50]:
Yeah. And definitely that's something we were gonna talk about. Right? And so when you're you wrote your first book, there wasn't as much virtual and hybrid meetings. Correct?

Stacey Hanke [00:26:00]:
None.

David Hall [00:26:01]:
Yeah. So now it's it's time to turn on your cameras according to what you're saying.

Stacey Hanke [00:26:08]:
Oh, don't even get me started. What we going on

David Hall [00:26:10]:
I did.

Stacey Hanke [00:26:11]:
For forever. I what can I just add one line to that?

David Hall [00:26:14]:
Yeah.

Stacey Hanke [00:26:15]:
Because we get that. Well, I'm not camera ready. Like, what does that mean? What what are you it's been 4 or 5 years. What does that mean? If you are not present, camera on, there's no way you can have executive presence. No way. And and I get it. If you're driving, no. Don't turn your camera on.

Stacey Hanke [00:26:35]:
But any other reason, it's we've just become can I say it? I think we've become lazy. I think the virtual world gave us this permission to well, you're in your home. And I kept thinking, but you're still working, and it's your your brand. In this hybrid world, a lot of my clients have said, I I struggle with connecting with those that I never see in person versus those that are in the office with me. And I'm not saying you have to go to the office 5 days a week. That's not what I'm saying. I am saying if you are on Zoom calls, turn on your camera and be there. Be all in.

David Hall [00:27:16]:
Yeah. Yeah. So much we could talk about there. So some of it definitely could be people think it doesn't matter. You know? Definitely, you've mentioned driving. Try not to do that. I know sometimes it's necessary, but, you know, try not to be driving for a meeting. But what about those that just it's it's really they lack the confidence.

David Hall [00:27:37]:
They don't like to see themselves on camera. What do you say to them?

Stacey Hanke [00:27:41]:
I think for a while, if it I mean, worst case scenario, block out your own view. Right? I have I had someone, a client, put a Post it note over their Zoom window so they couldn't see it.

David Hall [00:27:53]:
Okay.

Stacey Hanke [00:27:54]:
Right? I mean, if it if it truly if it's that extreme, David, where it's throwing you off and you cannot focus here now I do believe if you truly want to elevate, if you want to continuously develop how you connect with people, you really do need to start seeing yourself. I would not do it here though. What I would do is I take my phone, put the video on, and place the phone underneath the camera. No one sees it. It's only for your eyes only. This has so much more power than you getting thrown off here. So you still could put a post it note of your picture, but still at some point, if you're serious, if you're committed, the private best advice I could give you is the courage to be vulnerable. And that vulnerability, I agree even for myself, is recording myself.

Stacey Hanke [00:28:41]:
It's watching those playbacks. But without that, the momentum I don't know how you'd have momentum. I think part of the feedback is recording yourself audio or video and then taking a look because you're this is the eyes and ears of your listeners. Right? You are always on under surveillance.

David Hall [00:29:02]:
Yeah.

Stacey Hanke [00:29:02]:
Everyone else is always seeing you. It's not a bad idea for you just to take a look, see what you like. You might be so surprised what actually works for you. And even that's important because I'd help you grow that. Like, think like an athlete. They're they're already great if they're playing the major leagues, but they're constantly practicing because there's always more. There's always more. Right?

David Hall [00:29:26]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And, I mean, even just just being on camera a lot I mean, most of my meetings these days are virtual. But, you know, it's a good idea, like, you're sharing to actually take a separate recording. But even now, just talking, I can see how if I'm smiling or not. And I may need to think, you know, hey. You're happy. Show it on your face too because, you know, my face doesn't always reflect how I'm feeling inside.

David Hall [00:29:53]:
That's that's something that I am always working on.

Stacey Hanke [00:29:57]:
Yeah. That's one of those skills that we teach facial expressions that take take for granted. We we how many of us think about our facial expressions? Yet, facial expressions is it's the only skill that's been conveyed to your level of passion. And if your listeners feel like, you know, you really believe in the recommendation you're giving them is the right direction for them, that's part of them believing it. I mean, if you see anything in the news and it's a hot news story, they'll bring in a body language expert. And the body language expert, the first thing they start evaluating is all the muscles in the face and what's happening. It's important. It's important for you to to know at least what's going on.

Stacey Hanke [00:30:37]:
A lot of times, David, I'll have someone say to me, I roll my eyes a lot. I don't even know I do it.

David Hall [00:30:44]:
Yeah. How do you work on that? I'd probably do it too.

Stacey Hanke [00:30:48]:
It's it's it's watching the playbacks.

David Hall [00:30:52]:
Yeah.

Stacey Hanke [00:30:52]:
I have seen myself on video so many times that now when I'm in a conversation with you, I'm thinking about everything that my coaches have given me feedback on. And I'm so aware of it because I've just I've seen myself so many times. It's also asking friends and family you trust to give you feedback, to say to them, would you tell me when I roll my eyes? I don't even know I do it. Someone to point it out to you, David, suddenly you're going to be in tune with it before you roll your eyes. That's the power of practice.

David Hall [00:31:25]:
Yeah. Absolutely. So what else do you have to say about connection, you know, whether it's online or in person? Because it's so important.

Stacey Hanke [00:31:34]:
You know, because communication is the core to everything that we do. It impacts everything in our personal professional lives. So when I say it impacts everything, I mean, our productivity, our results, how we run our businesses, people in our circle, the money in our pocket. The list goes on and on. That it it it is what is the key to stand out from the noise that is out there today. The noise is the multitude of ways that we can connect different mediums. The noise is we're more connected now than ever before, but yet we're more disconnected than ever before. To be able to break the code of how you connect with people verbally and nonverbally is going to set you well above the competition.

Stacey Hanke [00:32:20]:
And I see it. I see it all the time when I go into court large corporations. I feel the dynamic of the group, and maybe the morale is really high, the energy, and then I meet the CEO. Or I meet the leader of that group, and I'll think, this is why. They they just have this connection, and so much of it is everything we're talking about. Then I go into another group, and it's just chaos. And I meet the leader, and I realize, yep. I can see it.

Stacey Hanke [00:32:51]:
I can see why this is such a mess. And it's not their level of experience, education. It's how they deliver and how people experience them. So the best advice I could give to your followers today, if they're serious about, you know, taking a look, is 3 things. Start audio video recording yourself. I'd lie to you if I told you it'll get easier the more you do it. Nope. You get wiser.

Stacey Hanke [00:33:18]:
Number 2, feedback. Feedback on your playbacks that you review and feedback from people you trust, specifically in your personal life. They'll always tell you the truth. And 3rd is know that elevating your influence is a journey. This isn't read my book and you will be influential. It's read the book, grab the how to's, and now create the momentum on your own, and you start practicing it. I want you to start thinking like an athlete or a musician and how often they practice to get to where they're at.

David Hall [00:33:48]:
Yeah. Yeah. I love that. And, like, we've been talking about, these are things you can develop. Like, I had to learn how to better connect with people, and it's something that you can definitely learn. Again, taking in your self awareness of your strengths and your personality, but it didn't necessarily come natural to me. It might come natural to some, but it definitely is something that can be learned. We've been talking a lot about leaders.

David Hall [00:34:14]:
So what's an effective leader?

Stacey Hanke [00:34:16]:
I think effective leader number 1 is super aware all of this. They're aware of themselves. They're aware of the influence they have or they don't have. An effective leader is someone that understands success, happens through constant development. And the 4th one is someone that just never stops learning. And that's through the feedback, that's through the recordings, asking others, someone that just inspires that knows no matter what's going on in the world or in their life, development, their development is one thing they will always have control over.

David Hall [00:34:51]:
Yeah. And that's something I really appreciated about your work. You're talking about it's a journey, but also you lay it out, like, you can start and have a plan for what you want. Tell us a bit about that. Like, you know, so somebody's listening to the podcast. They think, wow. This is amazing. I wanna do this.

David Hall [00:35:10]:
Where do they start, and how do they lay it out as a plan?

Stacey Hanke [00:35:13]:
Yeah. I think it goes back to let's summarize some of the things that we've laid out. Ask yourself the I want question. Just write it down because what we write, we invite in our life. Don't think it. You gotta write it. Take the assessment and then start recording yourself. Now you do those 3, and then when you record yourself, you're going to take a look.

Stacey Hanke [00:35:34]:
And this is something that I do, David, and the times I really wanna evaluate my recordings. After I watch and listen to the recording, I'll take a piece of paper, and I'll write 3 columns. What worked? What didn't work? What am I willing to commit to? And that's going to be in my 30 days. Now I elevate that. I know I cannot do this by myself. So I talk to people I want to be my accountability partner. Your chance of success to grow with this idea of elevating your influence just by telling someone what your goals are to improve will increase your success rate by 65%. Alright.

Stacey Hanke [00:36:15]:
It gets better. If you tell someone and you ask them to be your accountability partner, your success rate goes up 95%. And when I'm saying an accountability partner, all you gotta do is ask someone in your personal life and your professional life to give you feedback. Someone that you trust is always gonna show up for you, giving you that feedback. And if you saw my work area in front of me, I have a lot of post it notes hanging up right now. And it's all this feedback that I've gotten from my coaches, my team, so that it's always in the forefront of my mind. Think about if you've ever had a personal trainer or a workout buddy. If they're knocking on your door at 5 AM to go for that walk or run, you're going to get out of bed and be there.

Stacey Hanke [00:37:04]:
So give yourself grace. Find someone that you can rely on that can also help you in this journey. And then after 30 days, you reevaluate. You say, I got that. That's still a work in progress, and go out the next 30 days. Or if you're more 60 days, I love that segment of time because then I can always measure backwards, David, and look at okay. That's where I started on December 1st. Here's where I'm at right now, and I turn over the next month.

Stacey Hanke [00:37:35]:
What do I need to work on now?

David Hall [00:37:37]:
I love that. You know, about the time this episode's coming out, people are gonna be talking about, you know, their New Year's resolutions and things. And, yeah, there's nothing wrong with that, but once a year is is not enough. I I love the idea of taking a 30 day approach, reflecting, making your next 30 days. I I love that.

Stacey Hanke [00:37:57]:
Yeah. I tend to I was just telling someone else the other day. They're asking about my planning, and and it's gotta work for you. Right? Mine is just an idea. I'll plan out all of 2025. And then what I'll do is I'll take chunks, and I'll do 90 days. Because when you measure backwards, say you're in q 2, and now you measure backwards the 1st 3 months and you see your successes, there's something about measuring backwards that gives you the momentum, gives you the confidence that, okay, look what I all did. Maybe I didn't accomplish all of it, but look what I did.

Stacey Hanke [00:38:28]:
I I do believe though if you don't write it down, it won't happen. So if it's an accountability partner, for example, write down how often in the next 30 days do you wanna touch base with them on your development. Every time I see my coach on my calendar I think I have a a session coming up next week. And he's he's tough. He's really tough on me. He tells me what I don't want to hear, but I need to hear it. And I see his name on my calendar, David, and I think, oh, not today. I don't I don't feel like getting torn down.

Stacey Hanke [00:38:58]:
But when I do it and it's over, it creates momentum for me to schedule it again because there's results that came out of it.

David Hall [00:39:06]:
Yeah. Absolutely.

Stacey Hanke [00:39:07]:
Yourself grace, but you do not need to do this alone. It's way too hard trying to elevate your influence on your on your own.

David Hall [00:39:13]:
Yeah. I think we can't say that enough. Give yourself grace because we are a work in progress. Stacy, we we've talked a lot about your ImpactIQ. Let's close out with that. So another thing that I was very interested in is we have our our way that we influence, but you had 6 ways, and we need to be aware of the other ways that people are being influenced. Tell us about that and how we might understand our teams and the people that we're working with.

Stacey Hanke [00:39:40]:
Are you talking about the 6 types? Yeah. I think I'm gonna highlight this. So in chapter 2 of influence elevated, there are 6 types. The one thing I want your followers to know is there's not a right or wrong, like any assessment.

David Hall [00:39:54]:
Right.

Stacey Hanke [00:39:55]:
It's to just get a sense of what is your type when it comes to influence. I'll give you an example. You might be imperative influence, and that means that your focus is a leader focused and that the team is there to fulfill your initiatives. Some of my clients will have several types. So first is just to figure out what what what kind is your type. And I talk about the strengths of each type, the challenge of each type. Here's what's even more important. Once you know that, oh, I'm an inspiring influence.

Stacey Hanke [00:40:27]:
Your strength is employee focused, but it is the leader's initiative that's most important to you. For you to also recognize what is your team's type. So I'd recommend to have your team take it. And it's knowing that if I am an autonomous influence type and you are imperative, how do I adapt my message to your type? Because if I can adapt that way that you like to be influenced, you're more likely to connect with me, vice versa. You're more likely to trust me and for me to have influence on you. Now keep in mind, when I say influence on you, it it's not a bad thing. It's making sure that you act on my recommendations. I'm guiding you.

Stacey Hanke [00:41:15]:
I'm giving you results. There's there it's the benefit of how I influence you.

David Hall [00:41:20]:
Yeah. Absolutely.

Stacey Hanke [00:41:21]:
Also find you know, I've learned over the years that my influence type has changed over the years. Just through my growth, through the coaching that I receive, there's not a right or wrong. It's more what am I, and then how do I recognize it in someone else so I can connect at a higher level.

David Hall [00:41:41]:
Absolutely. Stacy, we could talk all day. This has been wonderful. Is there anything else you wanna add?

Stacey Hanke [00:41:48]:
I would love to give all of your followers a complimentary ebook of my previous book, Influence Redefined. If you could just supply the link in in your show notes. We are also all over social media. We don't sell on social media. It really is I my goal is I just wanna provide a resource that people can can connect with, and they can find all of those social media links. Also, a lot of complimentary resources on our website, which is stacy with an eyhankinc.com.

David Hall [00:42:28]:
That's very nice and very generous of you. I will put that link in the show notes, and I highly recommend your books as well and the work you're doing. It's it's been very powerful. So thanks again, Stacey.

Stacey Hanke [00:42:39]:
You're welcome. Thanks for trusting me with your followers. Take care.

David Hall [00:42:43]:
Thank you so much for joining me today. I look forward to further connecting with you. Reach out at david@quietandstrong.com or check out the quietandstrong.com website, which includes blog posts and links to social media channels. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. If you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there's now a free type finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the 4 letter Myers Briggs code, and you can also have the option of purchasing the full report if you'd like to learn more. I'll add a link to the show notes. So many great things about being an introvert, and we need those to be understood.

David Hall [00:43:23]:
Get to know your introverted strengths and needs, and be strong.