Ep 213 - Building Self Trust By Mastering Your Inner Dialogue with guest Dawn Ledet

How can we build self-trust and transform our inner dialogue into a powerful tool for success? 

In this episode of The Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall is joined by Dawn Ledet, a certified life coach and author of "Master Your Inner Dialogue, Transform Your Self Talk for Goal Success." 

Listeners will learn how to own their choices, resist self-sabotaging labels, and turn negative thoughts into opportunities for growth. Dawn shares practical strategies for building self-trust, aligning your inner dialogue with your goals, and embracing your unique strengths. 

Tune in to discover the importance of having your own back, the power of seeing a different perspective, and how to master your self-talk for achievement. This episode is perfect for anyone seeking clarity, confidence, and ease in reaching their aspirations. 

Listen now, and be strong.

Episode Link & Show Notes: QuietandStrong.com/213

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Dawn Ledet, a certified life coach, former corporate sales executive, and author of Master Your Inner Dialogue: Transform Your Self-Talk for Goal Success, is on a mission to help high-achieving entrepreneurs and leaders crush their goals with clarity, confidence, and ease. Drawing on her expertise in coaching and years of experience in high-stakes sales and leadership, Dawn empowers clients to rewrite self-sabotaging narratives, build unshakable self-trust, and turn inner dialogue into a powerful tool for lasting success. Through practical strategies and proven frameworks, she helps people achieve their dreams without the overwhelm.

Connect with Dawn:

Website: TheSelfTrustCoach.com

Join Dawn's Challenge: 7 Day Self Trust Boost Challenge

Podcast: The Self-Trust Solution

Get Dawn's Book: Master Your Inner Dialogue: Transforming Your Self Talk for Goal Success

Socials: Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn

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Contact the Host of the Quiet and Strong Podcast:

David Hall

Author, Speaker, Educator, Podcaster

quietandstrong.com
Gobio.link/quietandstrong
david [at] quietandstrong.com

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Transcript

David Hall [00:00:00]:
So how do we start or continue to build self trust?

Dawn Ledet [00:00:05]:
The first place is owning our choices, resisting those labels, and instead seeing the choice behind it. Like, instead of saying I didn't follow through, it's like, yes. And here's why I chose that. It's continuing the conversation. Instead of hearing it as this one-sided just judgment, this one-sided daggers of criticism coming at you, really starting to engage with that inner dialogue. Knowing that my my favorite lens that I offer is all of me is for me. Because when all of me is for me, even when a thought comes up, even one that would be so overt as you're so stupid, When all of me is for me, you're so stupid is like, okay. I'm actually gonna laugh at it probably.

David Hall [00:01:11]:
Hello, and welcome to episode two thirteen of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quietandstrong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review or a rating. Of course, that would mean a lot to me and help others find the show.

David Hall [00:01:40]:
Tell a friend about the podcast. Help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Don Laday, a certified life coach, former corporate sales executive, and author of Master Your Inner Dialogue, Transform Your Self Talk for Goal Success is on a mission to help high achieving entrepreneurs and leaders crush their goals with clarity, confidence, and ease. Drawing on her expertise in coaching and years of experience in high stakes sales and leadership, Dawn empowers clients to rewrite self sabotaging narratives, build unshakable self trust, and turn their inner dialogue into power into a powerful tool for lasting success. Through practical strategies and proven frameworks, she helps people achieve their dreams without the overwhelm. Alright. Well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, Dawn. Dawn, so good to have you on today.

Dawn Ledet [00:02:39]:
It is such an honor to be here. I'm so excited for this conversation and to share with your audience.

David Hall [00:02:45]:
Yeah. We're gonna talk about the work you do, self trust. First, let's just talk a little bit about you. Tell us about your journey, and how did you get to the work you're doing now.

Dawn Ledet [00:02:54]:
Yes. So my background is actually in hospitality. So I was an executive on the sales and marketing side of the hospitality industry in New Orleans. And like many people probably identify with overworking I call it overworking and underliving. And I thought I had this brilliant idea to sell my car, to force myself to walk to and from work, and being in New Orleans, in the downtown New Orleans, that meant that I would leave work at a normal time. I would get to work at a normal time, and I would be moving my body more because having worked so much, I was just all mostly at a desk. And during one of those walks where where I was feeling pretty proud about myself for making this decision, thinking I'm so so smart, it really dawned on me, no pun intended, that there was a problem here. Why am I having to force myself to do anything? Why am I having to engage trickery to follow through on a plan to work normal hours, leave work at work, engage with home at home, and exercise, move my body? And it was like this light bulb turned on and this flood of examples through my whole life came rushing in.

Dawn Ledet [00:04:25]:
Examples of decisions I had made and indecisions and actions and inactions, all highlighting one thing. I was seriously lacking self trust. And from there on, it was just the biggest wake up call that led to me really paying attention to all that that implied. And as a high achiever, as kind of, you know, a go getter, I think clearly in simplified terms of achievement. And what I came to was that all it takes to achieve anything is to make decisions, follow through, and have your own back. And those are the three areas that really highlight where you stand in self trust. And so I started doing the work, and I realized self trust changes everything, and I couldn't keep it to myself. And so I left my career successful career as an executive in the hospitality industry after twenty plus years and decided to become a life coach because I had to help more people, and I had to put this message out there.

Dawn Ledet [00:05:44]:
And through that, continuing to work on myself and coaching then after certification, so many people now it's been five years, through the thousands of hours that I've coached, I started recognizing that there were common threads. And while I didn't identify with being someone if you would have asked me six years ago, do you trust yourself? I would have said, absolutely. If you would have asked me if I'm really negative talk negatively to myself, I would say no way. But through this work, you find these silent challenges within your inner dialogue, these silent ways that we put ourselves down or that we just don't lift ourselves up, these quiet disconnections that prevent us from making powerful decisions, following through on the things that we wanna follow through on, and then having our own back no matter what the results.

David Hall [00:06:42]:
Yeah. And I'm looking forward to getting into all of this. I think people might be wondering, though, did you get another car?

Dawn Ledet [00:06:50]:
You know what? I never did.

David Hall [00:06:52]:
This is so funny.

Dawn Ledet [00:06:54]:
I never did because then I started working from home, but I just gave a car with a friend just because we thought good for the environment. We live a couple of blocks away, and we both our transportation is mostly biking or walking or scooter, and we have the car when we need it.

David Hall [00:07:11]:
Oh, that's cool. That's cool. Yeah. So tell us about self trust. You started talking about it. What what is it?

Dawn Ledet [00:07:22]:
So there are many ways to think about self trust. Right? There is the action of trusting yourself. There is feeling trust towards yourself. But what we work towards that my goal is is to create the operating system, if you will, of self trust. Making it the space through which you make decisions, the space through you the relationship you have to your thoughts, the actions that you take so that you're not having to always remind yourself, if you will, that you're trustworthy, but you get to a space of being, of knowing that you can trust yourself. I talk about it a lot through the lens of our thoughts because, again, I like to simplify things. And this is a bit of an oversimplification, but we generally, our thoughts are coming either from a lens of connection or belief in ourselves or through a lens of disbelief or disconnect. So an example of that would be if I am not in self trust and I hear the thought you did that wrong, I am, like, gonna punish myself or I'm gonna try and reason it reason through it.

Dawn Ledet [00:08:52]:
I'm gonna try and justify it possibly, or I'm gonna shame myself and start feeling guilt. Now you did that wrong from a space of self trust, of connection, of belief in myself is like, let's look at this. What is wrong about this? What part don't I like? What part do I like? And what do I wanna learn from this to move forward? You can really see the difference.

David Hall [00:09:19]:
Yeah. So, definitely, that's part of our conversation today. Where does that thought come from, and how do we change it?

Dawn Ledet [00:09:27]:
Yes. So in in my book I write about, it starts with the lens comes from the origin, and the origin can be a million different things. It can be the people that we looked to growing up. The origin can be something that we just adopted whether we meant to or not. Some are things that were placed on us, like rules that we've never questioned if we still agree with. We just have been operating from believing that, for instance, should never interrupt anyone. And then you start taking that simple rule that seems pretty harmless, and then you use it against yourself. Like, if you ever accidentally interrupt someone, all of a sudden, you are wrong.

Dawn Ledet [00:10:13]:
So we have to separate those things. And so once understanding the origin behind it, you're not a terrible person. Nothing has gone wrong here. We just have these origins of our beliefs or our thoughts that we aren't taught to question. And while we evolve, so do our priorities and our values and what we think is important in the world. And if we're still running by these old rules that were either placed on us or we adopted or we created out of trying to save ourselves or protect ourselves in some way that it was just the best we could do at that time, then if we never question them, we're still letting those kind of run-in the background, and they can hinder us, and they start to direct some of our thoughts is when so we have the origin, which leads to the lens through which we're hearing our own thoughts and engaging with them. Then there's the tone that we apply to it. Because the truth is your inner dialogue doesn't have a tone.

Dawn Ledet [00:11:23]:
But I, 100%, can tell you, everyone listening here, when they hear a thought in their mind like you did something wrong, they're not hearing it with love. They're hearing it as a dagger, a sharp dagger of judgment.

David Hall [00:11:39]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And it's funny because in general, I try not to interrupt people, right, in your example, but some people need interrupting. So sometimes it's okay.

Dawn Ledet [00:11:49]:
Exactly. And that's exactly the point. Right? Like, of course. If we take on this blanket rule, then we are definitely not aligning with our values in some cases where, of course, it might be the best thing for the other person for them to be interrupted. It might be the best thing for the greater group in the area.

David Hall [00:12:10]:
Yeah. For sure. Also, you talk about self sabotage. And why do you say that that's a distraction or or a myth?

Dawn Ledet [00:12:19]:
I have a lot of disdain for for self sabotage. And look, there's a million amazing or I don't even know if there's a million. There are a lot of amazing experts out there that have great material on self sabotage. I have actually taken a certification from one of them. It's brilliant, and it's so smart, and it's true. But the problem in it, and this is why I'm so familiar is because I do have this education in this, is it limits us to a label, and it starts explaining. It's like a convenient explanation for something that we're doing, but it doesn't often it can. So I it has to be handled with a lot of love and curiosity.

Dawn Ledet [00:13:12]:
Because like many labels we place on ourselves, if we just say, I self sabotage, I'm a procrastinator. I'm a perfectionist. It's explaining away behavior as if we have no agency and choice. And I don't wanna create more disconnect or more reasons for you not to believe in yourself. I want you to hold it with curiosity and with agency. So it's also creating this disconnect from your wisdom, and it's also creating adversity. It's saying truly self sabotage is saying parts of me are against me. And that, to me, is unfortunate because what we need in this world and to be in this world is a united front, and the place we start that is internally.

Dawn Ledet [00:14:09]:
And we're also saying that parts of us are right or wrong, and they're just not. Because if you procrastinate, you could call yourself a procrastinator and then consider yourself wrong for that. Or you could say, sometimes I choose to follow through, and sometimes I choose not to. And there's always a reason, and sometimes I like the reason, and sometimes I don't like the reason. And either way, what a privilege that I get to make that decision.

David Hall [00:14:37]:
Yeah. So an example of being a procrastinator, if if you're calling yourself a procrastinator so how does that work? Instead, you're saying, I chose to do this, but I could choose differently. Is that what you're saying?

Dawn Ledet [00:14:52]:
Totally. Just feel the difference of owning that as a choice that you get to make versus naming yourself something and then shutting down any possibility for change.

David Hall [00:15:03]:
Yeah. So how do we start or continue to build self trust?

Dawn Ledet [00:15:11]:
Yeah. I mean, what the first place is actually, it's a great example, is owning our choices, resisting those labels, and instead seeing the choice behind it. Like, instead of saying, you know, I didn't follow through, it's like, yes. And here's why I chose that. It's continuing the conversation. Instead of hearing it as this one-sided just judgment, this one-sided daggers of criticism coming at you, really starting to engage with that inner dialogue, knowing that my my favorite lens that I offer is all of me is for me. Because when all of me is for me, even when a thought comes up, even one that would be so overt as you're so stupid. When all of me is for me, you're so stupid is like, okay.

Dawn Ledet [00:16:09]:
It I'm actually gonna laugh at it probably. But, also, I don't see it as an invitation to affirm myself. It's like that friend or that devil's advocate that is just, like, trying to get you to admit something about yourself. I like to think of it that way. That's an invitation you can have. So it's one of two things is the invitation I always give. No matter what you hear and, actually, it works perfectly for external voices too. You can take it one of two ways.

Dawn Ledet [00:16:41]:
It's an invitation to affirm yourself to to root deeper into what you know about yourself or your path or your goals. Or the second invitation is it's an invitation to see a different perspective. And an example of that would be, like, this is too hard. Like, a new perspective would be, well, let's look. What are some ways to make this easier? Maybe that is not the right time to put that particular task in the calendar, or maybe this isn't something for me to use my genius on. Maybe this is a better thing to delegate. When we're on our own side, when all of me is forming and we use that to see a different perspective, it becomes a useful, fruitful, connecting conversation.

David Hall [00:17:28]:
Yeah. And I I like that you also brought genius into it because we also need to tell ourselves my genius is my genius, and I might approach this thing very differently than my friend or colleague would.

Dawn Ledet [00:17:42]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. And we wanna learn. I that's it. Like, we shut down our ability to learn when we're, like, in comparison using judgment. But if we're in comparison using openness, being on our own side, everything we see is useful. If they're doing something great, I wanna look at it and say, what about that would I like to mimic or try out? Or what about that would I like to, you know, look into? Or but I'm also looking at there's something that I don't like. I wanna make sure I don't bring that into my world, or I don't wanna do that, or I wanna make sure that I do something that gives me an idea to innovate.

Dawn Ledet [00:18:25]:
We're always looking with this open learning when we're trusting ourselves instead of this closed off shell of trying to make sure no one knows that something's wrong with us or that we do things that are wrong or mistakes and thinking that everyone else is the complete opposite because that's what often happens. We start to when we're lacking self trust, we think everyone else has this secret superpower where they never doubt themselves and they never worry, and you're somehow broken.

David Hall [00:18:52]:
Right. Right. And we're definitely not broken. None of us are broken, but we have to find what our genius is.

Dawn Ledet [00:19:02]:
Yeah. Well, it's right in front of you. And oftentimes, it's all the things that you're considering are your faults. That's the other thing that I find. We're so ready to judge ourselves and and point out our flaws. And if we take time to engage with them, oftentimes, they're actually superpowers that we've been covering up with judgment.

David Hall [00:19:26]:
Yeah. So you talk about all this on your podcast as well. So tell us a little bit about the self trust solution podcast.

Dawn Ledet [00:19:34]:
It's exactly what I talk about. It's what I talk about all day every day because I'm obsessed with the power of self trust. I, again, use it to focus on the avenue of setting and achieving goals, which can apply to anything. You know, obviously, we're always working towards something. We're always moving in a particular direction. And so we focus on making decisions, following through, having your mastering your inner dialogue, finding ways to work with yourself, how to overcome the fear of failure. And then this year, I'm excited to say that we started having guests on the up on the podcast as well. So now we have these experts in everything from relationships to shame to time management to productivity.

Dawn Ledet [00:20:22]:
And we're gonna have you on the podcast as well. I'm excited to share. And so I know my audience is gonna be so stoked to hear to hear all of your wisdom.

David Hall [00:20:33]:
I'm looking forward to it. That will be a lot of fun.

Dawn Ledet [00:20:36]:
Yes. So but now we wanna bring that in because once we start to build self trust and start just at least recognizing it, its effect in our lives, the lack of it, our ability to grow it, then we wanna see how we can apply it in everyday life. And that's where these experts come in because it really matters to exercise in all different areas. Right? If you've ever noticed, you get really proficient at something in one area in your life, and you turn to do a new thing, and we forget that all those skills still apply. It's like we're starting brand new, and so the goal is to see how of all the work that my listeners have been doing over the years and our new listeners that we get, that they start to put in, you can once you build this skill, you can apply it to everything.

David Hall [00:21:32]:
Yeah. Absolutely. So you brought up your book already, but let's talk more about it. So Master Your Inner Dialogue, Transform Your Self Talk for Goal Success. And I've been reading your book and enjoying it very much. Tell us about your book.

Dawn Ledet [00:21:46]:
You know, it started as a I and I would probably explain it as a a guide, but it really is looking at the dynamic of our inner dialogue, the dynamic of our self talk because we don't really think a lot about the thoughts that spin through our head, and there are many that are subconscious that we don't recognize the effects of. We see the symptoms of it, but we don't see the actual cause and understand why. And when we don't, we can start to think there's something wrong with us. And it's so important to me to share that there's true science and makeup that we we have, that we can't like, we can now start to work with it, and we can learn how to transform it, which is what the book's about. But it is there, and everyone experiences it. And so I wanted, one, to make sure that everyone knew that their brain is working exactly the way their brain is supposed to work. Their beautiful brain is there's nothing wrong with them. There is so much beauty to be found within it.

Dawn Ledet [00:23:03]:
And then the second piece was getting them to build a relationship with themselves, to create connection with that inner dialogue so they can actually use it to support and carry themselves forward through anything they want.

David Hall [00:23:17]:
Yeah. I'm very interested in you know, we have these thoughts. How do we change it when we need to? How do we change that inner dialogue?

Dawn Ledet [00:23:28]:
The first thing is to start engaging with it. I like to tell this I mean, it's a little embarrassing, but I had and they still do. It still comes up all the time. This thought, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with me? And, I mean, it would be so innocent, like, stub your toe, and you'd say, what's wrong with me? And it sounds like I'm being kind of funny and joking, but it has internal effects. Because our brains are brilliant, and they like to prove us right, and they love to answer questions. So you'll notice this. Like, if you're ever talking to someone, even when they ask a rhetorical question, we we go to answer it. We don't wanna answer a question.

Dawn Ledet [00:24:11]:
We feel the urge to answer questions. So our brain also poses questions to us all the time, but we don't answer them. And when we don't, our default brain, which is always seeking, like like, just all or nothing black or white thinking, likes to put things in buckets. So it's gonna answer it pretty simply, and it's mostly gonna gear to what's gonna keep you safe, what's gonna keep you comfortable, or what's gonna keep you not exerting any any energy. So something like what's wrong with me, when I don't answer that, my brain starts going to look for answers. Literally, we'll start fishing. It'll go to the past to say, oh, well, here's some things that are wrong with you. Here here's remember this.

Dawn Ledet [00:24:58]:
And then it starts pulling things from right now. Like, you can't even walk straight. And then it starts predicting the future. Like, you're never gonna do anything right. It's not gonna nothing you do is ever gonna be important. And it just is answering that in the background. And if we don't address any of that, it just keeps I call it friends and evidence. It just keeps building and building.

Dawn Ledet [00:25:21]:
And so the first thing is to start engaging with that, just answering it. So in the beginning of my work, what's wrong with me, I started answering it with everything and nothing. Just because I thought it was funny, I got a kick out of it. It's a little bit of my dry humor. It still wasn't to the point of where it should be, which I would tell everyone. Don't start there. Start with nothing because the truth is there's nothing. Now that still shut down the expedition of looking, my brain going to look for answers to what's wrong with me.

Dawn Ledet [00:25:52]:
It did stop that, which is good, but it also suggested that there was something. And so we really do wanna answer any questions that come up. Like, why can't I figure this out? Just answer it. Even if it's because I'm still working on it. I don't know, but I will. We have to answer these questions so that they don't start festering and fostering more doubt and insecurity.

David Hall [00:26:19]:
Yes. So it's a matter of answering your own mind and giving it evidence to the contrary. Is that

Dawn Ledet [00:26:27]:
Well, I mean, it's just looking at the whole picture. It's not about painting rainbows and daisies or lying to ourselves. It's just when we are answering that with the default, it's only seeing one piece of it. It's seeing the piece that wants just a quick answer that's, you know, whatever your lens is. If your lens is normally being hard on yourself or not being very kind or being judgmental or being passive, that's how it will answer it. That's why we have to look at all the back of back end of our thoughts to learn more about ourselves to be able to connect. So we're just telling it the other side of the story because there's the part of you, there's that prefrontal cortex that wants growth, that knows that you're capable, that knows that you can do amazing things. So there's both.

Dawn Ledet [00:27:16]:
We just want them to work in tandem. And so that's why those two invitations. When we engage with our inner dialogue, it can we are answering the questions, and we're telling the rep the other side of the story, the other part of the truth. And we're taking those two invitations of either one, using it to affirm yourself. I think it's a great idea. When you start to hear those things and you remind yourself that this is a chance for me to affirm myself or my path or my goal, it's really fun. And those thoughts no longer have the sting that they used to have because you're like, oh, this is a good opportunity for me to remind myself how capable I am.

David Hall [00:27:57]:
Yeah.

Dawn Ledet [00:27:58]:
Or you can use it as an invitation to see a different perspective.

David Hall [00:28:01]:
What's a common thing that people come to you with that they struggle with, and then how does how they change that inner dialogue?

Dawn Ledet [00:28:10]:
Well, most of the time, people are are coming to me that are entrepreneurs or leaders in business, and they're coming because they have pretty audacious goals. And so it's so important to note that a lack of self trust doesn't always exhibit in being, you know, insecure or lacking confidence. In fact, I always say most of self like, when you really can see self trust where it's lacking is when you are going after big goals. Because you might be super successful and have outwardly be able to exude confidence. But when you're reaching for a big goal and you're going to make those decisions that require some risks, some some failure tolerance, that's when self trust is so important. And so it's really looking at what the goal itself is where we usually focus and we look at through those three things of making decisions, following through, and having your own back, and seeing what comes up and addressing it, and starting to to understand and share dialogue with our own self talk.

David Hall [00:29:31]:
Yeah. So as you said, it might not be that they lack confidence. But on the other hand, what what about the person that does lack confidence? How do they gain it? How can this help them?

Dawn Ledet [00:29:43]:
Yes. So the more that you are well, I guess it's important to say confidence comes in two different ways. So there is confidence that comes from doing. Like, you've brushed your teeth for thirty years. You could probably do it in the dark with a washcloth instead of a toothbrush. Like, you could change up all the utensils and the and the toothpaste. You could change it all up and do it in the dark, and you know it. Like, you have confidence that you can brush your teeth.

Dawn Ledet [00:30:12]:
Then there's self confidence, and self confidence actually comes from your thoughts about you. So that's where mastering your inner dialogue comes in. So it is a side effect. That version of confidence is a side effect of growing in your relationship with yourself and building that self trust. And we start with really with people who lack confidence, they often present to me with I can't trust myself. And so I'd like to remind everyone that's listening that you absolutely can. And so we connect to how that's true already because you need to provide evidence to yourself to believe. It's not true that you need evidence to believe.

Dawn Ledet [00:30:59]:
Thank goodness. Because then we would never achieve new things. Right? But you can give yourself that evidence because I promise you, you could tell me a whole story about how you can't trust yourself, and I'm gonna be able to give you 10 ways that you already did. It happens every time. So first, we connect to how you can trust yourself, and we start building on that. And in small ways, celebrating. Celebration is very important. And this doesn't mean you have to take yourself out to dinner or go on a trip or go get a massage.

Dawn Ledet [00:31:33]:
It means just quiet acknowledgment if that's what works for you or small exercises or fun things that you can do for yourself. I love I have several different ways in the comfort plan that we talk about in the book that you can also use as small celebrations.

David Hall [00:31:51]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And you talked about this a little bit, but let's talk about just a little bit more. What how does your inner dialogue take a tone?

Dawn Ledet [00:32:02]:
Yes. So we give it a tone. Our inner dialogue has zero tone. I just I I find that fascinating. When I first realized the tone that my inner dialogue had on certain things, I was like, wait. Why am I hearing this this way? And we can dig into it always, and we can learn a little bit more about ourselves. Ourselves. But the truth is there is no tone.

Dawn Ledet [00:32:24]:
We have to give it one. And so the best news about that is if we've been giving our inner dialogue the tone of a critic or a judge or a victim or a friend, whatever it is, and we don't like that, if that's not working for us, then we can change it. So the first part of that is starting to hear those words without a tone. But do you apply a new one on or not? You can you can actually leave it just blank. Like, actually say the words. Some of my clients, I invite them to say it as a robot so that there's no feeling behind it because the tone comes from lots of history, lots of story about ourselves or other people or the world. And when we remove the tone, we can see it more objectively and really decide intentionally whether we wanna hear it that way because we learn so much more when we hear it without the tone. Because, again, something like, why can't you figure this out as with a tone of judgment feels way different than if I'm hearing it with true curiosity.

Dawn Ledet [00:33:35]:
Like, why can't I figure this out? I know I know how to do this. What do I need here?

David Hall [00:33:41]:
It's just

Dawn Ledet [00:33:41]:
a different way of of engaging with that.

David Hall [00:33:46]:
Yeah. Probably that what do I need here is the most effective instead of I don't know how to do this.

Dawn Ledet [00:33:53]:
Yeah. Because that leads to what's wrong with me.

David Hall [00:33:55]:
Right. Right. Right. Right. So when you're helping people with their goals along how does self trust and mastering your inner dialogue help for the person that doesn't feel ready like you were talking about? Maybe they have this big goal and they don't feel ready.

Dawn Ledet [00:34:10]:
Well, that's a whole coaching thing where we decide what ready means and is that really required to get started. And then breaking it down into pieces, what are we ready for right now, or what we just ready is a decision. So you get to make it. There's no magical ready in the world. Right? So you get to decide it. Now there's reasons why you may decide not to be ready. And if we're engaging with that instead of using it against ourselves, then we can figure that out and work with it. So it's really coming to the decision of I want to do this, and I wanna get started on that.

Dawn Ledet [00:34:48]:
Because otherwise, there's just no point in getting started. Because then you end up punishing and pulling and pushing yourself to maybe across the finish line. And the whole goal with the self trust lab and at the self trust coach is we want you to change your relationship with yourself and your achievements so that you are not only growing closer to yourself and connecting and lifting yourself and championing yourself forward, you're achieving faster because you're not in the second guessing. You're not always trying to bully yourself into doing things. You're actually supporting yourself through that.

David Hall [00:35:28]:
Yeah. And so in this example, it might be what am I ready for in taking the next step and not just being overwhelmed by the whole thing?

Dawn Ledet [00:35:40]:
Well, we yeah. We we have a whole process. It's called the three e success method, and it is focused on, you know, the mindset of achievement, an actual goal, road map, a an obstacle abatement plan. So we're covering everything. So going through, like, what is what are the step by step? What's the time frame? We do time differently at the self trust coach. So most people are like, I'm gonna achieve this goal by this date with no it's, like, arbitrary date, which I always think is fascinating, or some pressure filled date. And what we do is we actually look at what it takes to achieve this, and let's really map it out. What would feel amazing to spend on this goal every day or every week? And then where does that put the end date? And I will tell you what's fascinating is almost always, it's sooner than what they would have picked with the arbitrary date, or it's so close.

Dawn Ledet [00:36:41]:
And it's something that just feels more I call it luxurious. This luxurious amount of time that we get to spend. It's this privilege that we get to reach for and achieve things. And when we start seeing it that way instead of this grind, it becomes a more open connecting experience.

David Hall [00:37:00]:
Yeah. Yeah. I think so often we do pick arbitrary dates, but we haven't mapped out the steps. We don't really know the math behind it all sometimes. We don't know what what's realistic. But Mhmm. That's cool that sometimes it's even sooner when you actually take a realistic approach.

Dawn Ledet [00:37:20]:
Yeah. Well and because then you're doing things, and you know you're choosing to lay out your time that way on purpose. And you're mapping out your time in a way that honors your life. It's the other thing we can do. We can think it's, like, life or goal, and that's when we start to feel the friction and we feel like we're fighting against either our life or and then we start feeling guilty because we're not giving our family enough time, our friends, all the things. So we map it out in a way that fits our life because it's for us. Our goals are for us. Our life is for it's all for us.

Dawn Ledet [00:37:55]:
And when we see it as this really collaborative part of our life, part of our journey, how our goals actually enhance the other part of our lives, how those part of our lives enhance our goals and our ability to achieve new things, then it becomes a much better experience.

David Hall [00:38:14]:
Are there any other big issues that obstacles that people bring to you, like, when they're trying to accomplish their goals?

Dawn Ledet [00:38:23]:
Well, a lot of times, it's blaming external people or circumstances and situations. And, look, the truth is there are really difficult situations out there and circumstances. But when we use them as reasons to not propel ourselves forward, we give them the power. And so what what we work with, what what my invitation always is, is to not lie about it. Hard is hard. Like, the truth is hard is just hard, and the hard is gonna come. We don't have to predict it, and we certainly don't have to create it. We're gonna know when it comes.

Dawn Ledet [00:39:01]:
It's we're not gonna it's not gonna, like, show up, and we're not gonna know it's there. Right? So it's allowing hard to be hard, but also, one, recognizing that you can do hard things. So don't try and avoid hard. Like, hard is gonna come. Hard's part of life, and you are very able. I can bet you could everyone listening here could look on out on their life and see lots of hard things they've done or overcome. And so it's recognizing that, and it it's also connecting to the fact that uncomfortable isn't a problem. Just because something's uncomfortable doesn't make it hard.

Dawn Ledet [00:39:42]:
And that's why we we have a comfort plan because our normal answer to discomfort is to either stop or to go distract. And then we end up distracting with things like food or TV or social media or sometimes good things like working out or other work. Doesn't always have to be a bad thing, but it's still a distraction from what you wanna do. And so what we introduce is intentional comforts so that when you are feeling uncomfortable, you're honoring yourself. Like, this is uncomfortable. So I'm gonna introduce some comfort in this moment while still moving forward. It's okay to feel uncomfortable.

David Hall [00:40:28]:
Yeah. So what's an example of that? How do you introduce comfort for yourself?

Dawn Ledet [00:40:33]:
So I talk about it in physical, mental, spiritual, and preparatory. So, like, for instance, preparatory for me is setting my clothes out the night before, getting my coffee set up for the morning, my desk perfectly cleared before I even leave the office. That just feels good. It's like proof that I'm taking care of myself. Like, I'm I'm really good at taking care of myself, and you can even say those words. In fact, I recommend it. Every time you do anything for yourself, like, I'm so good at taking care of myself, is one way to build self trust. Mental might be putting on a really upbeat song that you like.

Dawn Ledet [00:41:13]:
Something that just, like, gets you in the mood. So, like, you're sitting there and you have this thing on your calendar, and you do not wanna do it in the moment. And instead of stepping away, you're like, okay. I'm feeling uncomfortable. I really don't wanna do this right now. But I decided ahead of time I was gonna do it. So let me just bring in something that's gonna get me a little more jazzed up. Spiritual would be for someone who likes to meditate or prayer, just taking a few minutes to do that.

Dawn Ledet [00:41:40]:
I have clients that like to go step outside and put their bare feet in grass. That brings some comfort to them, and then they can step back in, and they just have a different mindset. They're ready to move forward. These things don't take the discomfort of doing the task at hand away, but they prove to you that one, you're recognizing and acknowledging that it's uncomfortable. You're bringing introducing some comfort into yourself, and you're still remembering that discomfort is the currency for growth.

David Hall [00:42:08]:
I love that. That's that's awesome. Dawn, this conversation has been wonderful. It's gone by really fast. Is there anything else you wanna add?

Dawn Ledet [00:42:17]:
It went so fast. I would just love to invite people to really start paying attention to their inner dialogue and be intentional. Just start with maybe answering any questions that you notice come up internally and answering them intentionally in a way that's supportive.

David Hall [00:42:35]:
Sounds great. So, of course, where can people find out more about you and the great work that you do?

Dawn Ledet [00:42:40]:
Yes. And if you want to start noticing, like, reconnecting to your self trust and knowing how to build it a little more, I have this great seven day self trust boost series. And it's simple seven day it's an email a day for seven days, and it's just supporting you in reconnecting to the self trust you have and learning how to grow it specifically through the making decisions, following through, and having your own back. And you can find that at the selftrustcoach.com.

David Hall [00:43:11]:
Very cool. Alright. Thanks again, Dawn.

Dawn Ledet [00:43:14]:
Yes. Thank you. See you soon.

David Hall [00:43:16]:
Thank you so much for joining me. I appreciate you. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from other amazing guests. Remember, if you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there is now a free Typefinder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the four letter Myers Briggs code. I'll add a link in the show notes. And I'd love to connect with you. Reach out at david@quietstrong.com or check out the quietandstrong.com website, which includes blog posts and links to social media for Quiet and Strong and much more.

David Hall [00:43:52]:
Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. So many great things about being an introvert, and so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.