Ep 220 - Confidence, Leadership, and Self-Awareness in the Workplace with Dr. Nicole Bryan

What does it really mean to lead authentically as an introvert in today’s workplace—and how can embracing your introversion propel you to new heights? In this episode of The Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall welcomes Dr. Nicole Bryan, a certified leadership coach, organizational consultant, and psychotherapist with over 25 years of experience empowering introverted women to reach executive leadership.

You’ll discover how embracing your introvert strengths can enhance your leadership capabilities, why self-awareness and authenticity are essential for career advancement, and how to confidently navigate environments that may not always recognize or reward introverted traits. Dr. Bryan shares practical strategies for recognizing your unique strengths, building strong teams, and finding your voice at the table without compromising who you are.

Whether you’re an introverted professional with executive ambitions, a leader seeking to bring out the best in your team, or simply eager to embrace your quiet strengths, this episode offers guidance, inspiration, and actionable advice. Tune in and be strong.

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/220

Dr. Nicole A. Bryan went from the ‘Block to the Boardroom’ and is now a certified leadership career coach, organizational consultant and psychotherapist, with 25+ years' experience helping introvert women define their own success, lead with confidence, expertly navigate company politics, and secure their executive seat to maximize their income, influence, and impact. Dr. Nicole's clients and their results span several industries including healthcare, technology, communications, financial services, consumer goods, and education.

Dr. Nicole's world-class programs at TheChangeDoc, LLC integrate psychology, key business principles, organizational behavior and decades of real-world experience as a corporate executive to empower introvert women to make a difference, lead bolder and create positive change for themselves, their teams, and the world!

Connect with Dr. Bryan:

Website:  TheChangeDoc.com

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Transcript

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:00:00]:
I do not believe that there is one way to lead. Right. And I definitely don't believe that there's one way to measure success. And so when, but I do understand that when introverts are in settings where they're surrounded by. A lot of extroverts. Sometimes you feel the pressure to, to act that way, or, you know, to maybe downplay your introversion. And I did that a lot myself when I was starting out, I would say probably for the first ten, fifteen years of my career. I did that.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:00:33]:
I did all of those things as well. Now I wear my introversion as a, as a badge of honor. Like I that's probably like the first thing I'll tell you if I'm interviewing or if I'm leading a team, I will literally say I am an introvert and here is what that means for me. And here's what that means for you.

David Hall [00:01:01]:
Hello, and welcome to episode two twenty of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quietandstrong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review or a rating. That would mean a lot to me and, of course, help others find the show.

David Hall [00:01:29]:
Tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Doctor Nicole Bryan went from the block to the boardroom and is now a certified leadership career coach, organizational consultant, and psychotherapist with twenty five plus years experience helping introvert women define their own success, lead with confidence, expertly navigate company politics, and secure their executive seat to maximize their income, influence, and impact. Doctor Nicole's clients and their results span several industries, including health care, technology, communications, financial services, consumer goods, and education. Doctor Nicole's world class programs at the Change Doc LLC integrate psychology, key business principles, organizational behavior, and decades of real world experience as a corporate executive to empower introvert women to make a difference, lead bolder, and create positive change for themselves, their teams, and the world. Alright. Well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, doctor Nicole Bryan. Doctor Nicole, it's so nice to have you on today.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:02:47]:
It is so great to be here. And let me just say, the name of this podcast does my heart really, really good. Quiet and strong. I love it.

David Hall [00:02:56]:
Thank you. Thank you. And that's the whole point. And we're gonna talk about how you're quiet and strong and help other people be quiet and strong. We're gonna get into that. So Perfect. Let's start with you. Tell us about yourself and your journey to the work you're doing now.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:03:10]:
It's really interesting because when I look at the work that I do now, which is helping, introverted women get into the executive level, in, in large and small organizations and succeed once they get there. We've always in some shape, form or fashion been doing that work, even though that might not have been, you know, with my title or in my own business, etcetera. So for me, I came to the work, you know, honestly in the sense of seeing and being around other people like me, I am a introverted woman who had high aspirations for myself and my career. But very early on, I realized that there were other women, female, introverted, who didn't always have what I would call a voice in the work settings that I was in. So I noticed it for myself, but then I also noticed it for other people. And even before I had a business that solely helps that kind of demographic, I found myself like either mentoring other people who other women who were in that demographic or giving advice to other women, who were in that demographic. And so that's what I mean by in some shape, form or fashion, I was always doing it. And now, and then it grew into, you know, when you're inside an organization and you're kind of giving that type of advice and counsel, you have some kind of leeway, but then when you're outside the organization, you have a lot more flexibility maybe to, to, to kind of coach and counsel people.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:04:49]:
And that's what led to me making the decision to kind of set up my own business that specifically is dedicated to helping women get into women, black women, introverts get into the executive level. When you think about just women first per se, we already know women are underrepresented in the senior level, senior leadership levels, executive levels of companies. And in my mind, helping more women get to that level introverted. And obviously, obviously non introverted, but introverted in particular puts a whole nother dynamic to what kind of topics get discussed, how decisions get made at that level. And it all trickles down, not it not only into our workplaces, but into our homes as well. So that's kinda what has motivated me to keep serving that population.

David Hall [00:05:41]:
Wonderful. And we're definitely gonna talk about how you do that. So but first, also, when did you figure out you were an introvert? Did it did you have to learn to embrace it? Tell us about that.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:05:53]:
No. You know what? I knew that I was a introvert. I may not have known the label or the term, but I knew really young. So I was, and maybe some of your listeners can relate to this. I was that little girl who would be in my room. So five, six, seven, when everybody else was outside playing and, you know, having a good time in the summer and, you know, going over each other's houses, my preference was to be in my room, literally under my bed, because that was my favorite place in my room with a book and a flashlight and reading. Right. My mother used to be like, Nicole, go out.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:06:32]:
She used to have to push me out of the door and I would come right back inside. So I knew that I just didn't have that same desire to always be with in groups, large groups or other people, etcetera. Like I've, I enjoyed my company even from a little, when I was smaller more than anybody else's company. And I loved it versus, you know, other people who would be, like, clamoring to to to to connect physically with with with others. So I knew then. And I'd say, you know, I, I guess I, you know, and as we all know, there are different types of introverts. And I think I would describe myself as a social introvert, meaning I am great. I'm fine.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:07:22]:
I love interacting. I love spending time with other people. It's just that my preference and my energy comes from when I'm by myself. So when I think about high school, junior high school, college, that same pattern of, you know, going out and spending a little time with other people and then spending maybe twice as long by myself and being able to kind of re regenerate, that's always been the case. Even in my professional settings, even now in my professional settings, I, that is the way it is, which is, you know, an I coach people on how to lead teams, how to build teams. But I always remember I am an introvert first. Right? So it's it's that the pattern has always been there and it just plays out just in different settings.

David Hall [00:08:12]:
Yeah. Do you remember when you're a little having a great imagination?

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:08:16]:
I could imagine it. I think my still struggle with, so like, I wouldn't call myself a creative person, at least not in the traditional sense, but what I did was I would lose myself in I would borrow other people's imagination. So I would lose myself in books, for example.

David Hall [00:08:36]:
Yeah.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:08:36]:
Like, it would literally be my world as I am reading a novel or a book or something like that. Yeah. Yeah.

David Hall [00:08:42]:
Okay. Yeah. That's definitely an imagination. Yeah. And, you know, you also we're we're gonna talk about myths, but, yeah, we like people. We just Yeah. Need our time. Also, when we're with people, we might wanna go deeper faster than an extrovert might, but we like people.

David Hall [00:09:01]:
So we definitely bust myths. Is there another myth about introversion that you wanna bust?

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:09:06]:
You know what? The on the the what comes to mind when you ask that question is it's funny because I have a lot of as I'm sure you do, and others do who are listening, have a lot of extroverted friends. And what's interesting is people seem to like a lot of my friends now are saying, you know, I never used to be introverted, but I feel like I'm, you know, I'm leaning toward that now. Right. And so the myth that comes to mind as I think about that is that there's boxes, box for introverts, box for extroverts. When the truth of the matter is that introversion and extroversion is on a spectrum. It's on a scale. You know, as we know any, any assessment that you might take, there's a, there's a, like a, a line you you're either high on the introversion side or low on the extroversion side. So the myth that I would say is that there's one thing like you can be an individual who, depending on the situation or the environment that you're in, you might lean more heavily toward what your extroversion or introversion side.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:10:16]:
But I think we all have both inside of us. We have the, you know, the tendencies to be introverted and the tendencies to be extroverted, but there may be different situations, different time periods of your life, etcetera, where you lean more heavily on one versus the other.

David Hall [00:10:35]:
Yeah. Yeah. And I think, the important thing is what are your strengths that you can give to each of those situations? And so what's a strength that you have because you're an introvert?

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:10:46]:
Oh, my I think all my strengths are honestly, I think my deep understanding of people, believe it or not, I mean, people, someone might be like, that's weird, but my, my deep understanding of people is a result. I personally believe of my introversion. And I would say because of two reasons. One, when I am getting to know someone I go deep. So I go try, I try to understand who they are versus maybe other individuals might just stick on the surface. Like I, I have very low patients, low tolerance for just kind of surface level, getting connections. So that's one reason. And then the other is because, I am an observer.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:11:32]:
And so when I think about my introverted colleagues, many of us have that kind of quality. Like we, because we're not taking up space talking, we are listening and we're watching and we're we're picking up information that other people are gonna miss because they're so busy contributing verbally, let's just say.

David Hall [00:11:55]:
Yeah. Yeah. It's I think most introverts are keen observers, and we're always thinking and processing. So even though we're not talking all the time, we are paying attention. And we're we're putting things together. We're also masters of reflection, so we're putting all those ideas together. And so it is it is a strength of ours to be an observer and really get to know people. And it's it's, again, so many myths we're busting here, but also the strengths.

David Hall [00:12:26]:
So tell us about the work that you're doing now.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:12:29]:
Yeah. So like I mentioned, so one of the things that I do, I do consulting work, generally human resources consulting work, and I also do coaching. And in coaching in particular, it is with the specific objective to get ambitious, introverted women into the executive suite. So it might be the individual woman says, Hey, you know what? I'm an introvert. I may be working in a space that doesn't know or appreciate or reward introverted behavior, but I already know that I want to get to the executive level. So those are the types of people that I help, or it could be a company who wants to invest in someone that they already know is an introvert and they want to make sure that they get the, them a coach or some type of guide to help them be successful in their current role or future roles within the organization. I love it because it allows me to dispel another myth, which is that introverts are not great leaders. Right? So it allows me to do that either working for the organization or working for the person, individual executive, potential executive.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:13:44]:
And what I enjoy about it is that it brings together kind of the individual like psychology of, of the person. Right. But also helping them to navigate the, their, their organization without having to compromise their values or their traits as an introvert. So a lot of what I do is I help that I help individuals figure out how to use their introvert strengths and superpowers. I call them to be able to be an even better leader and be even more effective regardless of the environment that they're in. Because many of us find that, I mean, we, we, we find that we are in a extroverted world and we have to kind of figure out how to navigate in an extroverted world. So in a company it's even, it can be even more challenging, particularly when. You know, you're sitting around a leadership table and everybody around you either are extroverts or they are pretending to be extroverts.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:14:55]:
And so you as a, in particular, my clients are female, but you as a female leader, you're already in the minority. And if you are introverted female, that makes it even more challenging for you. So, yeah, that's how I help people come to be successful there.

David Hall [00:15:16]:
Okay. We have a lot to unpack there.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:15:18]:
Yeah.

David Hall [00:15:20]:
Let's start with how do you help the person become self aware of their introversion, their strengths, their needs? Where where do you start with someone?

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:15:31]:
Yeah. So, usually, I will start with two things. One, three things, actually one, I will use assessments, right? Because I have found, I don't know if you found this as well, but I have found that lot of introverts. Because we, we like data. Not, it doesn't have to be qualitative quantitative data, but we like information because we like to process it and get it. So as even when we have leaders who really know themselves, they love to see it in data form, right. To take an assessment or two and kind of get some new information, new quality. So that's one way, in terms of bringing about self awareness, the other way, believe it or not is to get input from those people around them.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:16:16]:
I feel like I know myself very, very well, but I can't see myself from somebody else's eyes. And so getting, doing either 360s or doing kind of interview interviews with people who see them every day in their work setting to, you know, see what themes people are seeing. Where's the common traits that people, other people see. I always uncover something that the individual leader themselves were not aware of. So that's the second way that I do it. And then the third is asking the leader themselves. What are your strengths? What's the feedback that you've consistently heard throughout your entire career, no matter where you are, what project you're working on, what are the same things you hear repeatedly from people that they, they appreciate about you? And then you put kind of put all that together and you kind of come up with a, a profile. But the best thing to me about that is that it's from inside out for the leader looking out and then also outside in, other people around the leader kinda giving them that feedback.

David Hall [00:17:22]:
Yeah. And so we definitely talk a lot about leadership on this show because Yeah. People say ridiculous things like introverts can't be leaders, which you and

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:17:32]:
I know is

David Hall [00:17:32]:
I know.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:17:32]:
I know.

David Hall [00:17:33]:
Ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's just it's just the success for the introverted leader might look different. They might take a different approach. So let's talk about that. You know? Tell us what you think is a great leader, how that might differ from introverts and extroverts, how that might differ for women.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:17:50]:
Yeah. So it's interesting because I don't believe that there I do not believe that there is one way to lead. Right? And I definitely don't believe that there's one way to measure success. And so when, but I do understand that when introverts are in settings where they're surrounded by, a lot of extroverts, sometimes you feel the pressure to act that way, or, you know, to maybe downplay your introversion. And I did that a lot myself when I was starting out, I would say probably for the first ten, fifteen years of my career, I did that. I did all of those things as well. Now I wear my introversion as a, as a badge of honor. Like I that's probably like the first thing I'll tell you if I'm interviewing or if I'm leading a team, I will literally say I am an introvert and here is what that means for me.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:18:46]:
And here's what that means for you, but not everybody does that. And it does take some time to, to get to a position where you feel comfortable doing that. And so the, you know, when, when I work with clients, but one of the things that I do want to make sure that they are part of our work is getting them more comfortable. Part of our work is to figure out how we can leverage their natural tendencies to lead more effectively. So what that, what could that look like? So for example, not every introvert, we talked about introverts and maybe one on one they're very good on one in one on one settings. So what that would mean is if you're leading a large team, maybe you spend more of your time meeting one on one with your team members than having to kind of gather them all in a group, right? Maybe that's the way you do it. Or sometimes what I've found is a lot of introvert leaders like to lead from behind, meaning that they're still in charge, they're making the decisions, but they prefer to allow their T their direct reports or other people around them to be like the face and the voice of the team or the decision or the project. Right.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:20:06]:
And that allows that the benefits of that is that it allows you to sit in your introversion very comfortably, but it also allows you to develop others and give other people opportunities to kind of shine versus you. If you were an extroverted leader, your natural tendency might be to be the one and only person kind of out front and, and, and visible to everyone. So those are kind of just a couple of examples of how it shows up differently. The other thing I will say is, you know, I know we hear this all the time because it's usually the first example someone will say about how they can tell someone's introverted, but in terms of like speaking up in meetings, right? When there is a you're sitting around a table, you're having conversations, the group is making decisions. And, and if you're introverted as you're processing information, you're not the first one to raise your hand. And what I will say is many introverted leaders, particularly those who want to get promoted to higher levels in the organization, they feel a kind of pressure to beat their extroverted counterpart in saying something and getting their idea out there. And what I do though, is encourage people to not play that game because you're literally fighting against who you really are, which tires you out, makes you feel like a fraud. You know, there's, there's a lot of downsides to doing that, but, figure out ways how you can get your ideas out there, how you can participate in the meeting without necessarily having to compete with other people.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:21:46]:
One way, for example, is you could be, you could be the questioner, right? So I'm always like, I don't have to have the, the original idea, but I can use my, my observing my, you know, observation skills. I can use my kind of processing skills to kind of look for the holes and what's being said, and then ask the good question, right? Like that, those types of ways where you are still a people still see you as contributing to the conversation, but you don't have to beat the clock to be the person to first person to raise your hand. So it's those types of things.

David Hall [00:22:26]:
Yeah. Yeah. Let's go back to what do you tell people about your leadership style? I I thought that was fascinating and also important. So how do you describe that to to someone new to you? Like, here's here's how I work.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:22:40]:
Yeah. So and it's so interesting because I just had to I just did it. So as part so I so I do it in a multiple levels, those who I report into and then those who report into me. So with the people that I report into, I will always, I always think it's important to contract and that sounds much more formal than it is. But when I say contract, I mean, verbally state how you want to work with someone, what they can expect of you and what you, what you can expect of them. And so anytime I'm starting a new role or anytime someone new is joining my team, I'm doing some type of contracting. And as part of the contracting, I will always call out my introversion. Like I will, you might be able to see my race.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:23:31]:
You might be able to see my gender, but the introversion part that's invisible to most people until you actually call it out. So I will call that out and I will say I am an introvert. And then I'll ask them like, what, what, how, what do you think? What do you, what do you think you are? Are you extrovert introvert? And then we'll sway, swap some stories about how we believe that that is the case, but then I will quickly go into what it means for me, meaning that, okay, so what this means for me is when I come into work in the morning, I'm usually really quiet. It takes me, I gotta ramp up to, to, to write. So that means for me, 07:00 meetings, not good. Like I'll show up there, but I'm definitely not going to be able to participate and engage. What that also means for me is I, you know, from my, if I don't get my time before that, meaning if I don't work out before that and have my alone time, I'm really grumpy all day. So you'll see that.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:24:30]:
Like if you, you, when I come in and people and I, I'm not my usual self, my team will say you didn't work out today. Right? Like, cause I can tell that and they're exactly right. So I will lay out these things that people will see. And so that they know it's not a shock. Right. But then the same is true. I have to ask as a leader, I have to ask them again, whether it's my boss or whether it's someone who's on my team, I will say, what do I need to know about you? How does your extroversion or introversion play out on a day to day basis? So for example, I had a team member who was Uber, Uber extroverted. I think I'm Uber, Uber introverted, but he would say, I have to chitchat.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:25:15]:
I have to spend the first five minutes of my meeting socializing because that allows me to allows him to break the ice. And then then we can go deep dive. And so we have to negotiate, like, I don't want to chitchat with you, but you need chitchatting. So let's, let's kind of negotiate. We'll ask one or two questions, but it can't be five minutes because my introvert heart, I just want to go deep immediately. And so those are the things that kind of come out when you're able to own your, whatever it is, introversion or extroverted. But when you're for me, own my introversion and put it out there, like, like say, this is what it is. This is why it's that way.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:25:57]:
It just goes so much further to allow you to learn, know how you need to work with each other and, and to deepen the relationship. And as we know, introverts love, we we love to deepen the relationship. So it's it's benefited me being more transparent about intro being introverted.

David Hall [00:26:18]:
Yeah. I related so much to what you're saying. And when we don't do that, people start telling themselves stories.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:26:24]:
You know? Correct.

David Hall [00:26:26]:
Yes. So I I am a early riser. I'm very productive first thing. But, yeah, don't schedule a 7AM meeting for me. I'm not ready for that. No. And, you know, somebody could say, oh, well, David doesn't like people because he needs you know, he's quiet in the morning. I'm like, no.

David Hall [00:26:41]:
I'm I'm getting some great work done, and I'm getting ready for my day. I love interacting with people. I if if I didn't ever, I would be it would be terrible. Like, sometimes I'll have a day with no meetings, and and it's a long day. I I need to interact. Yeah. I need to I need to have both. But that first part also, often, we need time to process.

David Hall [00:27:02]:
You know? And we need to not all the time. You know? Sometimes we come up with quick decisions, but sometimes, you know, it's like, let me think about that. But, also, I I think that would come into the conversation. It's like, sometimes I I'm gonna need to prepare for things. Also, sometimes I'm gonna need to think about things. You know? We can talk about deadlines and that kind of thing. But, yeah, I love that that you that you do that with people, whether they're your boss or your, you know, on your team. That that's really powerful.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:27:29]:
Yeah. Yep. And you know what, David? So at the end of the day, people want your best. Right? Like, people want our best. Companies want our best. Right? They want us to do whatever they've hired us to do in the best way that we possibly can. And so if a small adjustment by the other people that you're working with, or if, you know, revealing this about yourself helps you to do the best, to show up your best, to deliver your best, to give your best, then I found that it's, it hasn't been a big ask, but I do think that because that hasn't always been the norm. It takes people a little bit longer to kind of warm up to just wanting to be that transparent, but I have not met.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:28:22]:
I have not been, I have not coached anyone who's actually taken that step who can who's come back to me and said, I regret it or it's a mistake or I wish I hadn't had done it. So it's been it's been working for for myself and my clients for sure.

David Hall [00:28:38]:
Yeah. Too often, we try to be something we're not. Mhmm. And you and I both know that our best self is our best. You know, our authentic self is who we should be. So what other advice do you have for leaders to get to know their teams so that they can bring out the best in their teams and, you know, whether they're an extrovert or introvert, whatever. And there's many other strengths besides that. We just talk a lot about that on this show because it's there's a lot of misunderstanding, but there's so many strengths that people have that come to them naturally.

David Hall [00:29:10]:
So what advice do you have for leaders to really get to know their teams?

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:29:14]:
Yeah. So one so one of the things that I we already talked about, you can do with your team. So if you if you, as a leader, one of the things I will say is if you, you, as a leader, take some type of assessment and you find that it adds a lot to you and your understanding of yourself, etcetera, I would always encourage leaders to leverage that same assessment with their team members. Right? Like if, if it's done you great done good by you, it's likely going to do good by your team. So that's one way. The other thing I would say is I'm kind of a sucker for this. May many people might not be, but I enjoy getting to know my team outside of the work that they currently do or outside of the role that they might be playing on my team. And so, but at the same time, I don't like spending a lot of time for small talk.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:30:08]:
Right? So again, you gotta find the balance. So one of the things that I do is, when I do bring my team together, whether it's that's weekly or biweekly, I will always do some type type of round Robin, meaning going around the room and having some of them share something about themselves that the other team members don't necessarily know. Right? So some type of icebreaker, the beauty of that is everybody's getting to know each other a little better and whether it's work related or not, it all translates to be knowing each other better and working better together. And it doesn't take a lot of time. Everybody just goes around, you hit it and you, you move around. And it could be any type of question. It could be, what did you do this weekend? And everybody goes around the room and shares. You get to know, like if I took a hike, you got to know something about me that you didn't necessarily know.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:31:01]:
And we kind of use that going forward. So there's always opportunity. So in answering your question, I would say if you're a leader and you have a team, when you bring your team together, leverage that leverage to bring it together, not just for all business, but maybe take two, three minutes at the beginning of, or at the end of a meeting where people and ask a question where people can actually get to know each other better. All that is a part of relationship building. And as we know, business is about relationships, right? I I don't care what you could be making widgets or you can make him wagons. It doesn't matter. Business is about relationships. So that's the second thing I would say for, for leaders in terms of getting to know their teams better.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:31:43]:
I do think that as a leader, one of our responsibilities is to understand the uniqueness of your individual team members. You might have someone who's really strong in data analytics and you have someone else who is, is not right. But if they, if they're not strong in data analytics, they have a strength. Your job is to figure out what that strength is and, and how you can leverage it to, for the greater good of the team and the, and the company. I find that many of us leaders don't always do that. And we look at it in terms of our team members responsibility to kind of say, this is my strength or to just do their job, get their job on their responsibilities done. But I think that's a mutual responsibility. And so I think that that's another thing I would say to, to leaders, which is.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:32:37]:
If you have a team member who you are you're if you have a team member and you don't know what their strength is, you are likely underutilizing them. And so it is your responsibility to kinda help them figure out what their strength is, but be you to figure it out so you can use it to the best. Yeah. Those are the top thoughts. Yeah.

David Hall [00:32:57]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And we if we help people do that, they are gonna do their best work, and they're also gonna be the most fulfilled when you are using your strengths. Most of the time. You know? We we there's always gonna be things that, you know, we're not that But you

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:33:11]:
don't wanna do. And you're not gonna yes. Exactly.

David Hall [00:33:13]:
But if we can use our strengths most of the time, that that's where it's at.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:33:17]:
Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah.

David Hall [00:33:20]:
Doctor Nicole, you're also a fellow podcaster. So tell us about your podcast.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:33:24]:
I am. Thank you for asking. I am. And I say that I haven't I've just you're way ahead of the game. I'm learning from you when it comes to podcasting, but I started my podcast maybe a little bit over a year ago, and it is by far my most favorite thing to do in my business. Now I had dreamt about doing a podcast ten years ago when podcasts were little things like it was right. Like I remember sitting and talking to my boss at the time about putting together a podcast and doing it jointly. Right.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:34:05]:
And that was ten years ago, but it's taken me this long to figure out what exactly I want to podcast about, to get the courage to actually do the podcast, right. To figure out how I would do it. But I absolutely love it. And I think I love it, David, because I'm introverted and literally I'm just speaking into a mic and I'm sharing my ideas, but I'm not having to, it doesn't require energy of me because I'm not in that moment engaging right with, with, with anyone or a group of people. But I mean, it just fills my soul. And I know that I'm reaching people, right? So we, as you know, we get to look at our stats, we get to see like where people are listening from, how many people are listening from it, listening, and I've been able to see it grow over time. And it just gives me an opportunity to reach people and have access, give people access to kind of the work that I'm doing without having to, you know, coach them one on one essentially. And so I think I would say that it podcasting kind of uses my, my gifts and basically puts it out there for a broader world.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:35:25]:
People who are normally wouldn't be able to reach or, you know, be able to to have a conversation with, in their air. So, yeah, I I can't say how much I love it enough, honestly.

David Hall [00:35:36]:
Yeah. And another myth is people say that introverts don't have anything to say.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:35:43]:
Oh my gosh.

David Hall [00:35:44]:
But we're always thinking, so we have a lot to say. It's just it's just, you know, we're gonna think and then share. And podcasting can be a really good tool for introverts because it allows us to share. And, again, we like the one on one. So you and I are having a brilliant conversation one on one Yeah. But many other people get to hear.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:36:07]:
Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I think the people who say that we don't have anything to say, I think they might be a little upset, David, because if they're we don't have anything maybe to say to them. Right? We're I what I so in in all seriousness, I do think that when you're introverted, you, you, you're, you're, you're selective, you're selective about where you spend your time and where you spend your energy, because you know that you need to conserve time and energy. And so yeah, people, people who say that we're are probably not the ones that we are we are selecting to give our time and energy to, which is fair. Yeah.

David Hall [00:36:44]:
Yeah. So we didn't say the name of it. It's Leading Her Introverted Way podcast. What are the topics that you talk about?

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:36:51]:
So that podcast is all dedicated to helping introverted women be get into the executive level and excel there. And so we, I will talk about topics at the intersection of leadership, female and being a female and being an introvert. So it can range from, you know, what do you need to do? How can you be, how can you leverage your introvert strengths to become an executive instead of hiding and hiding as an executive? So for example, this lab, my most recent podcast was about code switching. So it was about stop pretending to be an introvert, excuse me, an extrovert in an introvert world, how you can use the, the, trick that I had mentioned earlier about using questions to kind of increase your visibility within a meeting or within your organization. That that's another one I've talked. I talk about how you can identify sponsors and use sponsors to advance your career. If you're an introvert and you don't like, for example, talking about yourself and self promoting. Okay, fine.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:38:02]:
But if somebody, we need the visibility. So how can you be visible and be an introvert and still be able to move your career forward and having a sponsor or multiple sponsors in an organization is a way to do that. I talk about also different leadership skills, because it's not just about getting a promotion or moving up in your company. It's also about once you land that leadership position, you've got to perform, you've got to show up as a leader. So I've talked about some of the things that you and I were talking about earlier about self awareness as a leader, how to set up a strong team, how to navigate your organization's culture, you know, how to make sure that your values are what is coming out on a day to day basis as a leader, right? How you're not, you need to know where you, what the values of your company are, but you also know, need to know what your values are and how to basically not sell out how to make sure you are showing up as your true self and still being able to deliver for the company. So those are the things that that that I talk about on the podcast.

David Hall [00:39:14]:
Yeah. Definitely. And when you're talking about helping someone rise to the executive level, how do you help someone build confidence when it's lacking? And not all not all introverts lack confidence, but for those that do, how do you help them build that confidence to get to the executive level?

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:39:30]:
Yeah. And you're right. Not all introverts lack confidence, but many introverts don't demonstrate their confidence the way that maybe extroverts do or, you know, maybe the way their company might expect them to do so. And so the, so as a psychologist, I will always say that confidence is a lag. It lags, it's not, it's not a lead. And what I mean by that is, confidence is what other people may see behaviors that other people may see. And they will, say that you are confident, but the truth is the behaviors are a lagging indicator. How you think, and how you feel as an individual is, has to come before the behaviors, how you act.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:40:18]:
Right. And so it really all goes back to self knowledge, self awareness and beliefs that your current skillset and the current traits that you have can in fact be your strengths and get you where you need to go. So one of the things that I'm always talking to my clients about is you don't have to change. Yes. We all need to grow and learn and continuously educate ourselves. Yes. But in terms of changing who you are, you don't need to change who you are to reach your leadership career goals. You just need to reposition who you are.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:41:00]:
Meaning you need to figure out how to leverage the strengths that the, the qualities that you currently have in order to move your career forward. So the confidence piece of it comes with understanding who you really are, what your strengths are and believing that those things can help you get where you need to go. Once we close that gap then, and, and, and, and once we close that gap, then it's kind of smooth sailing from there. And in those conversations, David, there are plenty of times where the someone will say, I wish I were more like X. Right. But for me, it's not enough for you to say that I want to understand why, like, what do you think being more like X is going to get you? So if I, for example, many, many of my clients will come to me and I'm the same way, by the way, many of my clients will come to me and say, I'm not a good public speaker, right? Because introverts talk into a large room. Okay. Totally get it.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:42:07]:
Then the, the, my immediate question, and they will say, I want to improve on that. My immediate question is, okay, what makes you think that you're not a public speaker? Right. Cause they get nervous. And I was like, that's not saying you're not a good public speaker. Like you, you get nervous about it, but when you have spoken publicly, what feedback, what data, what, what information besides your feeling about it, do you have to validate to, to tell me that you are not a good public speaker and many people don't have anything, right? They it's how they feel about it. My work is to switch that my work is to bring the reality in to support or contradict the belief that we have in our heads. And that's, I mean, that's much easier said than done, but that's where the real work is because once you believe, then everybody else is gonna believe. If you don't believe, no one else is gonna believe.

David Hall [00:43:07]:
Yeah. I love that. Well said. So Yeah. Get to know your strengths and know that they're different, but that's a good thing.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:43:14]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And don't allow the I'll call it rhetoric that is outside of us or, you know, in the greater, the larger society or even in your company, right. Don't allow the rhetoric to distort your own belief. Like if you hear something, you see something, question it, natural curiosity to ask, what is the truth? What is the data? Where, what, what do I see and have what's tangible that either contradicts or supports this? And once you do that, then you can get out of your own head, which we live that's where I live. I live in my own head, but we can get out of our own head and, you know, find the reality.

David Hall [00:44:03]:
Yeah. And, also, just as you're saying, introverts can be amazing public speakers. We have whole episodes dedicated to that. So So that's Yes. That's in but you guys just gotta understand your strengths?

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:44:14]:
Right. Correct. Absolutely. Yeah.

David Hall [00:44:17]:
Doctor Nicole, this has been a wonderful conversation. It's gone by really fast. I could talk to you for hours. Is there anything else you wanna discuss?

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:44:26]:
Okay. Sorry. Go ahead, David, please.

David Hall [00:44:28]:
So is there anything else you wanna discuss today?

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:44:30]:
No. I honestly, this has been I don't always have an opportunity to speak to introverts, talk to other introverts who and just kind of riff on all the great things that we are as introverts. So this has been a a true honor and a true pleasure, and I appreciate you giving me the time.

David Hall [00:44:51]:
Absolutely. And of course, where can people find out more about you and the great work you're doing, your podcast?

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:44:57]:
Yeah. So please, if you're listening, and anything that I talked about today, it was of interest, please come and check out my podcast. Like I said, it's my passion. So I am at the leading her way, leading her introvert way podcast. You can catch me there, or you can catch me at hangout on LinkedIn most. So just doctor Nicole Bryan, or you can look up the podcast. The podcast is there as

David Hall [00:45:21]:
well. Alright. Thanks again.

Dr. Nicole Bryan [00:45:24]:
Alright. Thank you so much, David.

David Hall [00:45:26]:
Thank you so much for joining me. I appreciate you. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from other amazing guests. Remember, if you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there is now a free Typefinder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the four letter Myers Briggs code. I'll add a link in the show notes. And I'd love to connect with you. Reach out at david@quietandstrong.com or check out the quietandstrong.com website, which includes blog posts and links to social media for Quiet and Strong and much more.

David Hall [00:46:03]:
Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. So many great things about being an introvert, and so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs, and be strong.