The Quiet and Strong Podcast, Especially for Introverts
The Quiet and Strong Podcast, Especially for Introverts
Ep 225 - Not One Size Fits All: Authentic Living and Business Growth with guest Larry Easto
What does it really mean to live and work authentically—especially when your story doesn’t fit a textbook definition or a step-by-step plan? In this episode, host David Hall sits down with Larry Easto, author, consultant, highly sensitive person (HSP), and advocate for authentic personal and professional growth. Together, they explore how embracing your unique journey—complete with unexpected twists, evolving passions, and the courage to honor your true self—can be your greatest asset in life and business.
You’ll hear Larry’s candid stories of career pivots, self-discovery, and lessons learned from a lifetime of “not really knowing what I was doing”—and how that very openness led him to meaningful experiences and powerful growth.
Whether you’re looking for fresh insights on navigating career changes, want to hear inspiring stories of real-world growth, or just need a reminder that your path doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s, this conversation is for you. Tune in, rethink what success means to you, and be strong.
Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/225
Larry Easto has over forty years of experience as a lawyer, consultant, author, and coach. A Highly Sensitive Person, Larry combines his natural empathy with a lifelong love of learning to help others understand themselves and succeed. He takes a facilitative approach, empowering clients to find their own solutions rather than simply telling them what to do. As a passionate advocate for learning through experience, Larry has published around thirty books, ebooks, and video courses since 1993, sharing his insights and lessons with others.
Connect with Larry:
Website: LarryEasto.com
Socials: LinkedIn
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Larry Easto [00:00:00]:
One of my supervisors said that, you never tell people what to do because if it goes right, they're gonna take credit. If it goes wrong, you're gonna get the blame. And from there, it was if people say, what should I do? Turn it back to them and saying, what do you want to do? It's not about me, it's about you. It would be, you know, what would be the ideal outcome or what would be the ideal resolution for you? So so to get them focusing on what they want rather than what I think they should have.
David Hall [00:00:36]:
Hello, and welcome to episode two twenty five of the Quiet Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quietandstrong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally, we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review or a rating. That would mean a lot to me and also help others find the show.
David Hall [00:01:05]:
Tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Larry Easto has delivered professional services for more than forty years, serving clients as a lawyer, consultant, author, and coach. He's also a highly sensitive person. In Larry's case, his HSP attributes merge with his formal training and adult education to support and enhance his lifelong love for learning and passion for helping others learn. Despite the differences in professional service roles, his client service has been more facilitative than authoritative. Instead of telling clients what action they should be taking, Larry has helped them understand their current situation. A strong advocate of experience being the best teacher, Larry rounded out his marketing education by learning what successful professionals did to generate new business and then modified these best practices into his own approach to generate new business. As passionate about helping others learn as he is about his own learning, it was not at least surprising that Larry would be sharing his lessons learned with others.
David Hall [00:02:22]:
From his first book in 1993 until the present, he has written and published over 30 hard copy books, short ebooks, and video courses. Alright. Well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast, Larry. Larry, it's great to have you on today.
Larry Easto [00:02:38]:
It's great to be here. You know, I love the name, Quiet and Strong. It's just it it it shouldn't go together, but it doesn't. It feels good. I like it.
David Hall [00:02:45]:
Yeah. Yeah. And the quiet part, it doesn't mean shy or lacking confidence. It just means or thinkers or deep thinkers, and that doesn't have to mean that we're not very strong and successful people.
Larry Easto [00:02:57]:
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. Quiet strength is just so incredibly powerful. It's just that's in a whole different story. But, yeah, I it's it's it's a it's a cool combination.
David Hall [00:03:10]:
Yeah. Absolutely. So let's tell us about yourself. Tell us about your journey to the work that you're doing, and you've done a variety of different things over your lifetime.
Larry Easto [00:03:20]:
Well, it it's probably the result of more default decisions than planned decisions. I never really it wasn't until I wrote my first book that I I knew what I wanted to do when I grow up as it were. I finished high school and and the guidance counselor thought that I would be good in accounting because I was good in math. So I took a stint in accounting, and it was a disaster, absolute disaster. I went to, university thinking, well, okay. Maybe maybe I'll be a priest. That might work. That didn't work.
Larry Easto [00:03:51]:
I so I switched into economics, and I don't know what to do with economics, but it was kinda fun to study with. And, during last year, university, the dean of the college says, so, Larry, what are you doing last year? And I said, I don't know. And he said, have you ever thought about law school? And I said, what's law school? What what do lawyers do? So it's it's it was being like that all the way along. And that's the I guess in one respect, that's bad. But the flip side is I gained a lot of experience that I wouldn't have had otherwise. Part of me is saying saying, look at all the productivity I missed out on because I didn't know what I was doing. The flip side is, yeah, but look at all the amazing experience you've had. So it's been like that, I guess probably until I left when I left law, things started to narrow and narrow and narrow and narrow, and it's become even more narrow now.
Larry Easto [00:04:40]:
But, again, I I had to have been where I was to be where I am now, and and it's I'm I'm I'm pleased with how it's working out. I don't know what I liked best. I think I probably liked best working with people and and empowering them and helping them deal with issues, not telling them what to do. But as a lifelong learner, I love sharing experiences. So that's what I do is kinda share some of my across the board kind of experiences and in the hope that they can help other people avoid some of the hassles I had, hopefully. We'll see.
David Hall [00:05:10]:
Yeah. Yeah. You know, in your story, I was also good in math, and that pointed me. I was pointed towards engineering, and I soon found out that that wasn't for me. But you know? So it's interesting how we move along and learn and definitely, we need to look at it all like you are. Like, it's it's the learning.
Larry Easto [00:05:29]:
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It it's all on how we frame it. I can say it was I led a really confused life or I led a life full of rich experience. So so ever the optimist. Yeah.
David Hall [00:05:42]:
Yeah. So, Larry, you talk about that you're a highly sensitive person. Sometimes that's referred to as HSP, and you're also a fellow introvert. When did you figure those things out, and did you struggle with with coming to embrace those things?
Larry Easto [00:05:57]:
Well, it's it's interesting. I guess about twenty years ago, twenty five years ago when Elaine's book came out, The Highly Sensitive Person, I I just came across it. I I wasn't you know, it was just something that intrigued me because I had people say as I was growing up, why are you so sensitive? Or my goodness, you're you're easily hurt. Just stay. So anyway, I read it and I I remember doing the the assessment and I think there were 27, 20 six, 20 seven questions like that. I had 23, the like, 23 yeses. I'm going, woah, this is pretty amazing. But then I thought, well, that's nice to know, but so what? Yeah.
Larry Easto [00:06:33]:
So I kinda got on with my life doing what I doing what I did, and I never really thought about it. I also had at some one stage in my life, I had a Myers Briggs assessment and intuitive like crazy, just right off the scale intuitive. And again, I thought, hey, that's nice, but so what? You know, I got brown eyes. So what? It's no, no big deal. Last fall, I, I, I, I was doing a podcast and the subject of neurodivergency came up. And from there, it got into, got into, being HSP. And I really didn't think too much about it. But as we, as I talked to the, to the host, I'm thinking, oh, this, this HSP thing may be something worth pursuing.
Larry Easto [00:07:13]:
Well, it turned out that he was involved with planning a neurodivergence a summit on neurodivergency, and he invited me to do a presentation on HSP. So I thought, hey, let's let's see what this is all about. So I I took a serious look at it and I I collected some of the the strongest HSP characteristics and then matched them to some of the the work I had done matched to how I did. And I thought, wow. Yeah. I can see now how these characteristics apply to the work that I've done. So I realized now that although I I had the attributes and I had the characteristics, I I I was acting intuitively. I was just doing what was comfortable for me.
Larry Easto [00:07:53]:
I'm I'm lucky in that I haven't had close supervision from people saying, Larry, don't do that. You can't do that. You gotta do this. So I pretty much went on my own. And looking back without realizing it, I was I was behaving classic HSP, I guess. The good news is it allowed me to generate some pretty amazing work, the work that I love and and and and other people appreciate as well. So it was there without me realizing it. And it you know, now I find myself wondering I wonder how many other character characteristics I have that I'm not using.
Larry Easto [00:08:28]:
And from there, I wonder how many other people have great resources, great strengths that they haven't identified and haven't haven't really come to grips with. So this is an idea I'm playing with now, but it's just so it's been an an interesting process. It it explains a lot of the issues I've had. I, I I I love COVID because I didn't have to make excuses for not going out.
David Hall [00:08:53]:
Yeah. Yeah.
Larry Easto [00:08:54]:
And and and so it explains that. We we moved about three years ago, moved from the suburbs of Toronto, which are closer to downtown. Well, as it turned out, we've got a beautiful ravine ravine behind us. And it's been a life changing experience for me primarily because I can go and sit on the patio, and there's nothing out there but nature in case of talking to the squirrels or talking to the trees or whatever. So I I'm realizing that that's a real bonus that I'm comfortable in in nature, which I've always been. But now I'm thinking, okay. It's part of part of who I am.
David Hall [00:09:25]:
Yeah. So you realize that you had been using at least some of your gifts and strengths without putting a label on them.
Larry Easto [00:09:35]:
Correct. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. For example, I I I like planning, and I like organization and all those kinds of things. And I found very early that I I I came up with answers. I could see patterns. I I could see when I was doing consulting, I I I I would be talking to people and I could see patterns in what they were doing.
Larry Easto [00:09:53]:
Well, I now realize that that's part of the, you know, part of the h s p HSP package. And and I've always I've always been sensitive to other people's feelings. I've always been involved in situations where I work closely with people. Worked at a factory a couple of years, and that was a blast because nobody gave a damn about anybody. It was horrible, but it was kind of an interesting experience. So I've always had them, but I really didn't have the label. And and part of that is because I've never really embraced labels or stereotypes. It's more by how I feel or my actions or something like that rather than rather than using the the stereotypes and the labels.
Larry Easto [00:10:30]:
So yeah. And it it's you know, now I understand, and I'm thinking, okay. Yeah. I get it. I understand why this happened. I understand why that happened. Maybe it was meant to be.
David Hall [00:10:40]:
Yeah. And labels are there just to help you understand, you know, here's where some of your gifts are. Here's where some of your needs are. Not all highly sensitive people are introverts. You know? Definitely, there's some extroverts that are highly sensitive as well. What have you learned about introversion?
Larry Easto [00:11:00]:
I'm not sure. It it it's it has its advantages. It also has the disadvantages. When I was starting my law practice and also other businesses, I had to network like crazy, and I just did what what I had to do and did what I was fairly good at, chatting with other people. And it was really, really tiring. And I realized now I was working against my natural natural instinct. I I I am quite comfortable by myself. I can sit on the patio and listen to music or sit in the room and just sit and listen to music.
Larry Easto [00:11:37]:
I don't have to be reading and and doing 50 things at the same time. So it's it's, I guess it's probably more of a relief than than an answer. Just saying, okay. This is this is what it is. This is what it is. I'm I'm just a little more a little stronger in enforcing boundary. And I and and in announcing my boundary boundaries, I can now say, you know, I've had enough. You know, I'm sorry.
Larry Easto [00:12:00]:
I've had enough. I I got a breakdown now. And and I'm just more comfortable in saying that. Whereas before I understood it, it was Larry, be polite, stay here, you can't leave, and all those kinds of things. So it's just a maybe that's maturity. I'm
David Hall [00:12:14]:
It's probably a little bit of both. I'm sure.
Larry Easto [00:12:16]:
Yeah.
David Hall [00:12:17]:
And so what what have you learned, like, as far as boundaries? Like, how do you how do you learn to articulate those to others?
Larry Easto [00:12:24]:
I'm still learning. I'm still learning. I I'm it's hard for me when I I see how somebody's behavior is is bothering me to to tell them to stop. It's it's hard to me it's hard for me to, you know, be critical of what other people are doing. So I I I still, you know, still a people person. I'm still a people pleaser, still internalize a lot. Will I get better as I improve, as I as I continue to get more? I don't know. I don't know.
Larry Easto [00:12:54]:
I I don't like hurting people. I really don't like hurting people. So if I hurt myself, at least I can work it through.
David Hall [00:13:00]:
Yeah. Well, that's a good thing. Not wanting to hurt people. That's awesome. You know, you said earlier that, you know, somebody might say, oh, don't be so sensitive. I know that's most highly sensitive people don't want to hear that. You know? And it it what have you discovered is a strength because you're sensitive?
Larry Easto [00:13:22]:
I can read myself better. I I know I I have a physical feeling when I'm reaching overload, and I know that I just have to turn things off at that time. And I'm more comfortable saying, I'm sorry. I've had enough. I have to I have to leave now. I'm more comfortable saying that and also avoiding situations that that could cause it. With the move, we, I started going to a new church, and it's a magnificent building and a great community. It's a it's a spiritual home I think I've been looking for for my entire life.
Larry Easto [00:13:56]:
I like going early because it's quiet and and just being in this magnificent building when it's quiet. But when it's over, it's coffee time and it's a low ceiling in the coffee area, and it's really noisy, like, really noisy. I'm I'm usually tired from the service because I'm
David Hall [00:14:12]:
actively involved in the service
Larry Easto [00:14:12]:
with the music and and the the the preaching and the prayers. Actively involved in the service with the music and and the the the preaching and the prayers. So I know that I have to get out as soon as possible. I do the do the polite visiting, but I don't hang around for coffee. And my friends know that that's just the way I am, that, you know, I'm not being antisocial. I just need some space because a lot of them have similar kinds of issues and are recognizing similar kinds of issues. So it's it's just a case of of probably being more aware of myself and and being more true to myself. When I when I I made a shift in marketing away from standard marketing into authentic marketing, I really really started to do it to recognize the importance of understanding who we are and being true to ourselves.
Larry Easto [00:14:58]:
So authentic marketing to me is just, you know, marketing your services the way you would make friends. And that's based on who we are and what we're all about. And the same thing when when I'm encountering potentially overloading situations is knowing knowing myself well enough to do the self management. And it's a work in progress, but I'm getting better at it.
David Hall [00:15:17]:
Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And, you know, we definitely bust myths on this show. Is there a myth about being a highly sensitive person that you wanna bust today?
Larry Easto [00:15:26]:
I don't know. I I don't know how many people in my world even know what it means. I mean, periodically, I I will say something and I get a look of recognition or or something, and I don't talk about it a lot. I have a friend who's a who's a musician and and a very sensitive guy, very talented musician. And and I I I I had a conversation with him one time, and he said he felt over overwhelmed by life. And I'm thinking, you are probably HSP. So we raised to get together. And so we're having coffee, and I and we chat about it.
Larry Easto [00:15:56]:
And I said, have you ever heard about a about a highly sensitive person? He says, oh, yeah. I am one with a touch of ADD. Okay. Fine. There goes the discovery. But it's not something that is is part of my normal conversation. It it's just I don't raise it. It just comes up incidentally.
Larry Easto [00:16:13]:
So it's just yeah. People talk more about my books or my background or or or something like that than than than that characteristic. So in terms of myths, it's not so much in my world.
David Hall [00:16:26]:
Okay. Yeah. And so you have written a lot of books. How many books have you written?
Larry Easto [00:16:30]:
I think 31. Okay. And they're not all they're not all they're not all ginormous books. Some of them are, like, fifty, sixty page ebooks, and some of them are are video courses. So it's not like a library of 30. But I'd say 31 books or book equivalents. So yeah.
David Hall [00:16:48]:
How did you become an author? How did you decide to do that?
Larry Easto [00:16:51]:
It was after I left law, and and I was starting a consulting practice, and I went to a workshop on how to build a consulting practice. And the, facilitator talked about the importance of having a book. And I thought, yeah, I like that idea because I've always been a I've always loved loved reading and I've always been an avid learner. And so he did a a quick little fifteen minute presentation at the end of the workshop on on on how to how to write a book. And it was outside of Toronto. It was about two hours away. And so on the way home, I'm thinking about the book I wanted to write and thinking about the book I wanted to write. So I came up with it, came up with the idea, wrote the book in nineteen nineteen ninety three, which was when a lot of a lot of organizations were starting, it's starting to flatten and a lot of really skilled people had great skills, but they didn't know how to run a business.
Larry Easto [00:17:40]:
So drawing on my experience of helping small businesses as a lawyer, I just kind of pulled it all together and I'd been exposed to TQM and total quality management. So I built some of that in And so I did it, and and I put the book together. And a friend of mine who was a graphic designer did the did the, did the design, and and it was printed. And and, yeah, that was kind of kind of fun, kind of exciting. It was like seeing my name on my shingle in my law office for the first time. It was, wow. That's pretty of a maze.
David Hall [00:18:10]:
Yeah. That's awesome. What was the first book?
Larry Easto [00:18:13]:
First book was how to succeed in your home business. And it was interesting because, as I say, it was intended to help people with skills run a home business. And through luck or good more luck than good management, Doubleday picked up the rights to second edition. And I gained through through luck, I managed to make a good connection with a bank here in Toronto here in Canada. And the bank wound up buying a 10,000 copies of small version of the book
David Hall [00:18:45]:
Oh, wow.
Larry Easto [00:18:46]:
To give away in their branches.
David Hall [00:18:48]:
Yeah. Wow.
Larry Easto [00:18:50]:
And and so that was kind of exciting. And, that was such a great success that that I thought, hey, I can do another book. So I wrote it asked them if they were interested in marketing books. So I did a little marketing book for them, more business for your business. And that led to a cross country speaking tour, short to short in, like, ten days, twenty one presentations in in in 17 locations in ten days. A dream, a lifetime dream to to do that kind of kind of kind of thing. And and once I did that, I just I loved writing so much that I just one book led to another, led to another, led to another. And then once once I started working online doing video courses, I thought this is even better than traveling.
Larry Easto [00:19:28]:
I can do the video course here, and I don't have to travel. So so that's how that that's how that arose.
David Hall [00:19:34]:
Yeah. So how would you sum up all your writing? What what have you written about?
Larry Easto [00:19:38]:
It's been an interesting journey. I started out with the nitty gritty of of business kinds of things, And that was the first book and sec book was marketing, and then I did all sorts of business kinds of things targeting primarily. I I eventually moved from small business to to professional service businesses, which is my most recent big book, how to succeed in your professional service business for self employed coaches, consultants, therapists, nutritionists, those kinds of folks. But what has what has been happening is is my focus has been going going more now to personal development and and spirituality. When we moved within within about a year and a half, I went over two years of of moving. I I had done two books. Didn't wanna didn't wanna get involved with publishing and marketing two books. So I I created a a video course to go along with them, and I spent more time doing personal development.
Larry Easto [00:20:34]:
So I that's that's my focus now. I'm narrowing into that, And it's it's open ended combining with spirituality and and so started out with the business area, but now focusing on on spirituality and and personal development.
David Hall [00:20:49]:
Yeah. Do you have a favorite book or one that's most meaningful to you?
Larry Easto [00:20:54]:
Do you have a favorite child?
David Hall [00:20:56]:
No. I'm not allowed to say.
Larry Easto [00:21:00]:
I I think I think it would have to be the first one. K. Because it it it it it it it helped my mind shift from I can't to I can, and it it demonstrated that if I focus on something and and and really draw upon support network and really, really involve other people, although I did all the writing on my own. You know, it's a classic story. Once it's done, it it's a team project, and and it just it it generated so many opportunities. I I was in, it was in Nicaragua One time, and and I met a woman who was from I don't know where she was from. It doesn't matter. She had a friend in Canada, and a friend in Canada gave her a copy of my book.
Larry Easto [00:21:49]:
So here I am in in Granada, Nicaragua meeting a a lady who had a copy, and she didn't have it with her. But knowing my name from having written a book and that was exciting. But what was even better was she said she told me how much it helped her. I thought, wow. Isn't that amazing? So I have to be the first one because it just opened the door to to so many other really exciting opportunities.
David Hall [00:22:11]:
Yeah. And so as far as, like, being a lawyer and then going into business, being a consultant, how did that all happen? What was your path to making that big change?
Larry Easto [00:22:22]:
Well, I was practicing law in in a small town in rural Ontario, and it was fun. I mean, life in a small rural town is fun, especially in ski country. So I could in the wintertime, I could ski in the summertime, I could canoe and golf and all those things, but started to run out of the growing room. My wife is a psych was a psychologist. She's just retired now, and we had small kids and we thought, you know, our kids are gonna be bright kids and they're gonna need more than what's in a small town. So decided to leave that, wound up in the city, did consulting because I liked planning and I was fairly good at that kind of thing. And the book the book itself led to coaching. Like, once the book was out, people wanted me to help them with projects.
Larry Easto [00:23:05]:
So then I get into coaching, training, and that kind of thing. It hasn't been it's been more more combination of being tired of something and and looking for something new to get into. Like, right now, I'm tired of spending as much time alone as I have, so I'm looking for new opportunities to to interact in a place. So it's just a a case of probably being aware of what I need and trying to find resources to to to to to meet that need. I I'd like to say it was a a life plan, but it wasn't. It's just, yeah, sniffing the wind and find out what's finding out what's available.
David Hall [00:23:41]:
Yeah. And how do you help people, especially, you know, the the self employed professionals? How do you help them with, professional growth?
Larry Easto [00:23:49]:
Well, you can't separate business growth and professional growth for for those of us who are self employed. It's it's one in the same thing. And so I start with, what do you wanna be? What do you wanna be? What do you wanna have? What do you wanna do? Those kinds of things. And then what do you like doing? The usual kinds of planning things. But as an educator, as a reader, instead of just telling them what to do, it's a lot of empowerment, a lot of facilitation. Like, rule of thumb is I talk 20% of the time and make them have them talk 80% of the time. So it's just engaging in conversation. Sometimes it's pretty silly.
Larry Easto [00:24:28]:
Sometimes it's pretty crazy, but good things can come from that. And one of the current things is, what did you want to do when you're three years old? Well, for my situation, I wanted to be a garbage man. I just thought that would have been so cool being a garbage man.
David Hall [00:24:42]:
Yeah. Right.
Larry Easto [00:24:42]:
And the family story of me taking garbage from the kitchen and spreading around the house. Well, yeah, that's a funny story. But when I look back, I think, okay, that was probably me organizing, probably me cleaning up, probably me sorting out messes. And Lord knows, as a lawyer, as a consultant, as a coach, I sorted out a lot of messes. So it was it was a it's a good starting point when people don't know what they wanted to do for me to tell the story about being a garbage man and how later on I wound up helping others clean up messes. And so it's just a case of of of helping helping clients or individuals. Just just take a a deep look inside without getting too woo woo, without getting too introspective, without getting into therapy because I I I'm not a therapist. I don't go there at all.
Larry Easto [00:25:29]:
But just just conversational, just chat chatting with friends, you know, to these. And I've got enough enough experiences of my own and others people other people's. I can always pull on a funny story to to release the tension and get people thinking again. So it's it's more it it's a combination of storytelling and and HSB and insights and sensitivity and all those kinds of things. I wish I wish there was a formula I could package and sell. I can't.
David Hall [00:25:56]:
Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's a little different.
Larry Easto [00:25:58]:
Yeah. Totally. Absolutely. And that's what makes it fun and exhausting and exhausting.
David Hall [00:26:03]:
Yeah. And, you know, I've I've heard you say that you and you may have said this today too, but that you, you know, you're not telling people what to do. What what is that about? Like, how is it that, you know, people need to come up with their own conclusions?
Larry Easto [00:26:21]:
Probably probably started in my legal training. Part of the and this wasn't the law school. This was was practical training. One of my supervisors said that, you never tell people what to do because if it goes right, they're gonna take credit. If it goes wrong, you're gonna get to blame. And from there it was, if people say, what should I do? Turn it back to them and saying, what do you want to do? It's not about me, it's about you. And so it was kind of part of my early training. And also, I don't like being told what to do.
Larry Easto [00:26:54]:
If if somebody helps me come up with a with a solution, that's great. But if somebody tells me what to do, I can find 10 reasons why it won't work, most of which are crap, but I can I can do it anyways? I I really resist being told what to do, so I'm not in a position to tell other people what to do. And it's just a personal preference on my part, but it's worked for me more empowerment than directional. And, you know, so often, clients would say, what should I do? If you were in my situation, what would you do? Or I'd have to bite my tongue to keep from saying, you know, I'm not stupid enough to be in that situation, but I didn't say that. Yeah. It would be, you know, what would be the ideal outcome or, you know, what would be the ideal resolution for you? So so to get them focusing on what they want rather than what I think they
David Hall [00:27:43]:
should have. Yeah. And how do they figure out what they want?
Larry Easto [00:27:46]:
Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. Depends upon you know, this is what I was like. Lots of people don't really wanna be free of their problems. They wanna hang on to their problems because it's their identity. And and if I get a sense that's where they are, I I can't do anything. I mean, if somebody wants to hang on to something that's causing a problem, I can't help. Not only can I not help, but my mindset can't go there? And so I will bail.
Larry Easto [00:28:10]:
As a as a lawyer, I I totally embrace the idea that everyone was entitled to a lawyer, but it didn't have to be me.
David Hall [00:28:18]:
Yeah.
Larry Easto [00:28:19]:
And so I I I was very big on on making referrals when there was a connection with a client or the work was outside my area or something. I'm I'm very comfortable in saying, I'm sorry I can't help you, but I can't find someone who will help you.
David Hall [00:28:33]:
Yeah. So if it's really important for us to come up with our own solutions, what's the benefit of working with a coach or a consultant to do that?
Larry Easto [00:28:42]:
It's two two things. One is is is the fresh eyes When we spend a lot of time looking at the problem, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger, and fresh eyes may not see it as big. And secondly is the experience base. Most of us have experience that we can pull lessons from that will benefit from others. And so that's, to me, the big advantage. I had a client starting with marketing, and he was trying to do the networking thing. And he was an introvert, total wipe out at marketing at networking. I said, well, have you tried writing? Have you tried you know, you're a great writer.
Larry Easto [00:29:21]:
And I said, have you tried content marketing? That might work. And so we chatted about that. And he did really well. He got into content marketing and social media marketing, all sorts of things, because he he went down that way, and he never thought of it. Like, when I said content marketing, he said, what's that? Social media marketing. What's that? I thought I had to go I thought I had to go to meetings. So it's just experience. It's just different experience.
Larry Easto [00:29:45]:
I do wanna say, certainly, when I wanna experience when I want advice, I want someone who doesn't know my situation as well as I do.
David Hall [00:29:50]:
True. And, you know, you gave a good example that, like, let's say marketing, someone is gonna approach it a different way. Like, an introvert or a highly sensitive person might have a different path and be wildly successful, but their path might look different from the from the extrovert. And it's really important to know your strengths and, you know, not try to do something like someone that's not much like you.
Larry Easto [00:30:19]:
Oh, exactly. Exactly. And this it comes back to to, you know, the age old wisdom. Know thyself and to thine own self be true. And I I I think that that, too it's it's too easy for those of us in the advice business to snap out fast advice without really thinking the situation through. And it's it's it's easy for lots of people to instead of sorting through on their own, go to somebody, go to a therapist or counselor or coach or whatever and say, what should I do? What should I do? You know? So it's it's, you know, it's not an easy answer. And some people are coachable. I I know a number of people who who have issues that could be resolved, but their mindset does not allow them to be to be coached.
Larry Easto [00:31:02]:
And I think I I'm not doing any client work now, but I would carefully I would strongly avoid people like that because I don't like beating my head against a wall. If if it's not gonna happen, I don't wanna waste time.
David Hall [00:31:16]:
Yeah. So for those that are looking to change, how do they change their mindsets?
Larry Easto [00:31:22]:
With great difficulty. With great difficulty. It it's and there's so so many factors, and, you know, so many factors go into to go into what into how we make up our mind. There there's a family conditioning. There's a social conditioning. There there's our physical feelings. There's just so much going on. And we're still even even even the most focused of us and and the most conscientious are still struggling.
Larry Easto [00:31:51]:
Most of us are still struggling with with parental issues, with old tapes that are still running or issues that instead of doing something about, we're we're we're still running them. I'm doing a fascinating program, astrology based program. And every day there's a little meditation, some connection to astrology. And yesterday, I thought, wow, I didn't realize that about myself as a breakthrough on an idea that I've been nurturing for lo these many years. And just from a different angle, I thought, oh, that's I see why that's happening now.
David Hall [00:32:21]:
Oh, I
Larry Easto [00:32:22]:
get it. So it's it's it's a it's a it's an ongoing process.
David Hall [00:32:27]:
Yeah. What other types of things have you coached people through in business?
Larry Easto [00:32:33]:
A bankruptcy? A, family fight? Oh, yeah. I I had two people running a a travel agency. One of them had the money and the other was a travel agent. And I insisted on a partnership agreement and a and a buy sell agreement. And they resisted like crazy. And I kept saying, well, what's gonna happen when you two fight? Oh, no. We won't fight. We get along really well.
Larry Easto [00:32:58]:
Blah blah blah blah blah. So they had a party to celebrate the launch of their business. And the next day, they we had to kick in the buy sell agreement. And and it was a awkward situation. And and so I couldn't deal with either one of them because there were clients coming in. But what I did did was make sure that they dealt with make sure that they found lawyers who really understood the dynamics involved and weren't judgmental. What happened was that was a a younger guy and an older woman, and they had at the the dinner party to celebrate, the younger guy found himself in bed with her daughter. So that was kind of you know? And I couldn't really I I I coached them at the point of getting them, a, out of my office, and, b, they didn't come together.
Larry Easto [00:33:44]:
But guess who? They came separately. But I had to calm them down and and then pass them on to somebody else. And and it was it was, a lot of venting, a lot of anger. And and at the time, I didn't know what I was doing, and I was just doing what seemed to be makes sense. It's just let them vent, not at me, but at at at themselves. Just let them let them go. And when they calm down, I just made made sure that they got to lawyers who could help them with with their issues.
David Hall [00:34:15]:
Yeah. So with your variety of experiences, what what have you learned over all these years about how to help people succeed?
Larry Easto [00:34:23]:
There's no one size fits all solution. Success means different things to different people. Some people for some people, it's dollars. For some people, it's recognition. For some people, it's fulfillment. And so it's a case of really, really sorting out what their values and beliefs are. I know that my my criteria for success are not the same as a relative. So it's a case of really, again, knowing who we are and what what we're all about.
Larry Easto [00:34:51]:
Just as HSP, we know our limitations. It's also important to know what is important to us. I'm at the stage now, as I say, I'm in what I consider my legacy project, and I can see myself you know, probably wrapping things up within eight eight months to a eight eight months to a year. Next question is what do I do next? And what what I I'm I'm I don't wanna spend my time going to lunch and all those kinds of things.
David Hall [00:35:19]:
Yeah.
Larry Easto [00:35:19]:
And so I'm I'm just playing with what do I enjoy, and and I'm I'm I'm thinking, hey. It might be fun to to get involved with pottery and make something with pottery and get my hands dirty. And and instead of using my brain, use my fingers and my hands, that kind of thing. So yeah, it's it's a case of having good pretty good handle on ourselves.
David Hall [00:35:38]:
Yeah. What is your legacy project?
Larry Easto [00:35:40]:
Well, I it's it's basically the book. I started out the how to succeed in your professional service business, and the point of that book was was to extract lessons, was consolidate some of my life lessons so that people could benefit from them. And that that in turn led to the personal transformation course because it left business practice and started to get into personal development. And and so it's it's the the book and the the book is out there, the, the course is out there. And and podcast you know, doing podcast guest, it's really fun. I I this morning, I I listened to a podcast I had I done about a month ago. And what I like to do is go back and listen to them with with with a with an open mind what's happened in the past month. And I came up with some really cool ideas.
Larry Easto [00:36:33]:
So I think I had a blog post developing for that. But it's basically to to to to pay back what I can to to share some of the lessons I've learned with others so that they can benefit from the experience. Basically, doing for others that doing for others, what would it be nice for me to have? Yeah. Right. Instead of doing it all on my own. But, yeah. And and for me, part of success is having people say thank you. I really appreciate how how you helped me understand that issue or whatever.
Larry Easto [00:37:02]:
You asked about my book, the first book, a guy that I knew, he was a nephew of somebody helped write a book. He made a change in his career. He was a clerk and he decided he wanted to be a financial planner and he wound up becoming a financial planner and wound up teaching it at a community college. And he credits me with with with a decision based on my book. And every time I don't see him in years, but whenever he'd see me, he would thank me for for helping him make the move from being a clerk to to financial planner. So those are the kinds of things that that that help my help me help me feel as if I'm making making life better for me and others. That didn't come out right, but where's the editor when you need him?
David Hall [00:37:43]:
You know, you said something when we when you started this thought that there's not a one size fits all, and that right there is a big lesson. That was one I had to learn because, you know, early on in my work life, it was it it you you were made to feel like there is a one size fits all solution. And that's been part of my growth is just realizing, you know what? I have my strengths. I have my needs, and my path to success is is gonna be being my authentic self.
Larry Easto [00:38:13]:
Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, it's it's it's so easy to to fall into, oh, I don't wanna go through this. Oh, here's a solution that will work that might work for me. And just go down you know, take somebody else's solution and and go down their rabbit hole. And and it's just again, you know, we've since since we were kids, most of us have been told what we should do. And it's hard just hard to turn that that receptor off. It it's hard to put the filter in place.
Larry Easto [00:38:42]:
When somebody says I should do something, part of me says there may be some wisdom there, and the other is don't tell me what to do. So it it's a constant struggle, constant struggle.
David Hall [00:38:51]:
Yeah.
Larry Easto [00:38:51]:
So I try, you know, I try to avoid the word should. Brad Yates is, one of my heroes. He does EFT, emotional freedom technique, and he talks about shoulding yourself, shoulding all over yourself. And I I love that expression because I should do this or I should do the other stuff. No. If I do this, it's a better approach than that. It's a choice, not a should. So it's not easy.
Larry Easto [00:39:13]:
So, yeah, there's no one size fits all. And even even something that might have worked five years ago might not work you now. Things I know things I've done in the past are no longer working. It's not not the technology. It's I've changed. The world has changed. It so it's just, you know, constant growth and continuous continuous change.
David Hall [00:39:34]:
Yeah. And that's the key. We are always changing. You know?
Larry Easto [00:39:37]:
And the
David Hall [00:39:37]:
world the world around us is changing. You know? We're always learning. I was just saying to somebody earlier, you know, it's like, yeah. Sure. I knew a lot when I started this podcast, but I learn every day. I learn talking to great people like yourself. You know? I continue it continues to sharpen who I am and what I understand, and we're never done learning. Right?
Larry Easto [00:39:58]:
Oh, no. It it's funny. I I periodically go back to go back to the glory days of of being a brand new lawyer when I knew everything. Alright. Absolutely every answer to every question that had ever been asked and smile about that. But, no, I just you know, I don't know. I'm I'm quite happy, Sonny. I don't know.
David Hall [00:40:21]:
Yeah. I don't know if I'll get this expression right, but something along the lines of, not young enough to know everything or something along those lines.
Larry Easto [00:40:29]:
Yeah. Oh, yeah. My my my one of my grandmothers had a plaque on her wall in in German. They get they get too soon they get too soon old and too late smart.
David Hall [00:40:42]:
Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Larry, this has been a wonderful conversation. Is there anything else you wanna add today?
Larry Easto [00:40:49]:
No. It it's it's it's been fun. It's the weather is great here in Toronto. We finally got a nice day, so I'm very attuned to the weather, so I'm feeling good. And it's always fun to have these conversations because it it, you know, the the introvert in me really resonates with with like minded people. And and and if this conversation can can help five people, we're off to the races. We're we're doing a little bit.
David Hall [00:41:15]:
Yeah. Absolutely. And it will.
Larry Easto [00:41:17]:
Oh, I hope so. I hope so.
David Hall [00:41:20]:
Larry, where can people find out more about you?
Larry Easto [00:41:23]:
Two places. One is my website, larryesto.com, and I try to avoid too much information there. So the first page is kind of a a process to decide what you want. If you want this, click here. If you want this, click here. If you want this, click here. Towards the bottom of that page, there are, two free thank you gifts. People have people taking half an hour, three minutes of an hour to listen to this podcast.
Larry Easto [00:41:47]:
I wanna thank them for their time. So one gift is is a book called 26 ways for service professionals to get more new business, 26 ways being a to z a to z, And that's available at Amazon, but it's free through my website. And the other one is is a book that I just finished, I guess, in probably December, January. It's a book called New Beginnings, New Letting Go and Moving On. And that's the leftover content that didn't make it into my my book or my my, my my, course. It's it's a really interesting book because it it it's, talks about, yeah, what's involved with letting go, and it it kinda summarizes the things we talked about. Totally free. Don't need an address.
Larry Easto [00:42:30]:
Just go to the website, download it, and and enjoy it and pass it around. And the other one is LinkedIn. I I'm on LinkedIn. I post usually every day and respond to messages. So either my website or LinkedIn are the two best ways.
David Hall [00:42:43]:
Sounds great. And we'll also add all that to the show notes.
Larry Easto [00:42:46]:
Awesome. Super super. Thank you so much.
David Hall [00:42:49]:
Alright. Well, thanks again.
Larry Easto [00:42:50]:
Hey. Thank you.
David Hall [00:42:51]:
Thank you so much for joining me. I appreciate you. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from other amazing guests. Remember, if you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there is now a free Typefinder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report, including the four letter Myers Briggs code. I'll add a link in the show notes. And I'd love to connect with you. Reach out at david@quietstrong.com or check out the quietandstrong.com website, which includes blog posts and links to social media for Quiet and Strong and much more.
David Hall [00:43:28]:
Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. So many great things about being an introvert, and so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs, and be strong.