Ep 227 - Powerful Introverts: Lessons in Leadership with guest Greg Weinger

What does it really mean to be a powerful introvert in a world that often celebrates the loudest voices? In this thought-provoking episode of The Quiet and Strong Podcast, host David Hall is joined by Greg Weinger—executive leader, writer, and host of the Powerful Introvert Podcast—to explore the truth behind introversion and leadership.

You’ll hear Greg’s personal journey from feeling like an outsider to embracing his strengths as an introverted leader, including the moment he realized introversion is a source of power—not a limitation. Together, David and Greg tackle common myths about introverts, share strategies for thriving in extrovert-dominated spaces, and discuss the importance of self-awareness, mindfulness, and self-care.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone who wants to tap into their natural strengths, challenge stereotypes, and find actionable tools for professional and personal growth. Tune in for honest stories, expert insights, and inspiration to embrace your quiet leadership—and be strong.

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/227

Greg Weinger has spent over 20 years proving that introverts and unconventional thinkers can thrive in leadership. A seasoned product and technology executive, he has helped scale startups 10X to $70M+ in revenue, leading teams that build market-leading digital products and drive business growth. A Stanford graduate, he studied English literature, creative writing, and software engineering—giving him a unique ability to blend technical expertise, storytelling, and strategic thinking to make complex ideas accessible and actionable.

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Transcript

Greg Weinger [00:00:00]:
We have these programs that were developed on the Savannah over millions of years and it probably was a good idea or a good bias to go with the loud, boisterous guy when you're being attacked or something, but it's just not a great heuristic for modern society today. I think another version of this question is what is leadership? And I think that it's a lot of things, but involves integrity, empathy, vision and this ability to simplify the complexity of our situation into a story that a group can follow and helps them be more successful. It's that ability to provide strategic thinking and and focus on the long term. And none of these things require volume.

David Hall [00:01:04]:
Hello and welcome to episode 227 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host David hall and the creator of quietandstrong.com this is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally we wire each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform. Leave a review or rating. I would love to hear from you. Also, leaving a review or rating is going to help others find the show.

David Hall [00:01:35]:
Tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Greg Weinger has spent over 20 years proving that introverts and unconventional thinkers can thrive in leadership. A seasoned product and technology executive, he has helped scale startups 10x to 70 million in revenue, leading teams. They'll build market leading digital products and drive business growth. A Stanford graduate, he studied English literature, creative writing and software engineering, giving him a unique ability to blend technical expertise, storytelling and strategic thinking to make complex ideas accessible and actionable. All right, well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast. Greg. Greg, it's so good to have you on today.

Greg Weinger [00:02:28]:
Thanks so much, David. It's really great to be on this show.

David Hall [00:02:32]:
Yeah. We're going to talk about the work you do around introversion. You have a podcast as well. Tell us about yourself and your journey to the work you're doing now.

Greg Weinger [00:02:42]:
Sure. So I can tell you a bit about my introvert origin story. It goes back to the very beginning. As I'm sure you know, I grew up in Peoria, Illinois, which is kind of a small conservative city in Illinois. It's not part of Chicago and my dad was a doctor. Both my parents are Jewish and so I'm kind of this product of Jewish immigrant culture. So you grow up comfortable, but this sense that you're slightly different. We have different holidays and go to a different place for church.

Greg Weinger [00:03:13]:
But also this kind of sense that you really want to fit in. And in retrospect it's not totally irrational. I experienced very mild prejudice growing up kind of in questions or oh, that's interesting about being different. But my parents were definitely excluded from things and their parents very much in the early 20th century. So I'm part of this multi generation project to assimilate and to try to reach the highest levels in America. And so I really took that program on. I was a high achiever in high school, valedictorian as part of this all American swim team. I went to Stanford.

Greg Weinger [00:03:56]:
And so I felt like was doing well. This is seems like a good thing for your ego to go to a place like that. But in reality. So some of my classmates are like in my year, Rachel Maddow, John Levin was my actual roommate. He's the current president of Stanford. Peter Thiel is kicking around there. Janet Evans. You can kind of go on when you're in this kind of crowd, super driven, really accomplished people.

Greg Weinger [00:04:27]:
It's not the best thing for your ego actually. And so it kind of forced me to think, you know, what's my place in the world? Some there were, you know, positive things in that. I got into the creative writing program there and this, this was kind of a revelation to me because I had just been going and going and then it was kind of gave me this ability to have a bit of distance on myself and kind of look at my life and you know, for a long time I felt like this was the only place I could truly be myself. Which I think this is kind of a quintessential introvert experience. Of course I, I didn't have these terms and then this ability to reflect on it at that point, but it's, it's kind of became a core part of who I am. Just one other note or story from that time. So kind of showing the kind of people I'm hanging out with. So my roommate has said, you know, I said, what are you doing? You know, one of these days.

Greg Weinger [00:05:27]:
And he's like, well, I'm going to study because I'm going to apply for this Rhodes Scholarship. I was like, what? You know, what's that about? You know, it's like, well, you spend a couple years in England. I said, well, that sounds cool. I want to do that too. So I'm not Rhodes Scholarship material, but I, I applied and I got recommendations and all that and my advisor kind of raised an Eyebrow. And I was like, okay, well, I'll send one. But I got interview as a finalist in the state of Illinois. So I traveled to Chicago and got a suit, and I'm going to one of these buildings.

Greg Weinger [00:06:04]:
And it's the evening before. It's like. It's this old, beautiful gothic building across from the Art Institute of Chicago. One of these kind of halls of power, wood paneled ceilings. You know, it kind of looks a little Harry Potter ish inside. And the mission for that evening is you have to kind of. There's a. It's like a mixer, and you have to find the judges and schmooze them and impress them.

Greg Weinger [00:06:29]:
And so I just utterly bombed at this thing, this whole thing. And, you know, I'm trying to. You know, it's hard for me to break in. And, you know, I could see other people were kind of in my situation. They're kind of sitting on the sidelines. But there are people who are clearly, you know, just at at ease in this situation, easily chatting people up and that kind of thing. So it's like, you know, that is another indicator. It's like, okay, you know, this situation isn't natural for me.

Greg Weinger [00:06:57]:
The next day, there's this panel interview, and I bombed out also. It was these. I also, having grown up in the Midwest, I was very conservative, still very conservative in a lot of these places. I went to California, and I went wild. Became a liberal. And so some of these things came up in the conversation. The interview kind of devolved into, like, bashing, you know, the silly little liberal kid. And so it didn't.

Greg Weinger [00:07:26]:
You know, this was a tough experience, but it really kind of showed me that sometimes these, you know, this is. These are clearly not situations that I'm. I'm suited for. So setting all that aside, a lot of these things came up in retrospect, but I went off. And when I graduated from college, I spent some time trying to be a writer. I was working on a novel, but I was also working in the computer industry, and I kind of fell in. It was the dot com era, and I got into that. At first it was to support myself while I'm writing on the side, doing both.

Greg Weinger [00:08:03]:
But then it became a passion. It became the most interesting thing for me. I moved into that. Long story short, eventually wanted to rise in as a leader in these organizations, and I got into management.

David Hall [00:08:17]:
Yeah. So I very much relate to the struggle that you described with the networking event and then the interview, and so many introverts that don't understand their introversion that those types of things are a huge struggle, right?

Greg Weinger [00:08:35]:
It was, yeah, it was kind of baffling to me. So. And it seemed like these things are major flawed. You know, this is my perspective at the time. You know, the program is to simulate and rise to these, these other levels. And you know, it's like, well, this is a major roadblock. You know, I don't seem to be suited for this. And so my lesson at the time kind of was in a way was to retreat and, and to seek out roles and things that were, you know, didn't put me in those situations.

David Hall [00:09:09]:
Yeah. How did you put, how did you determine that you were an introvert? Where did you get those words? And then at what point did you embrace it instead of, you know, thinking something was wrong with you?

Greg Weinger [00:09:21]:
Right. About two years ago.

David Hall [00:09:23]:
Okay.

Greg Weinger [00:09:23]:
Wow.

David Hall [00:09:26]:
That'S great.

Greg Weinger [00:09:27]:
Yeah. So it's been a long struggle. Yeah. It's like my, my introvert coming out story.

David Hall [00:09:33]:
Yeah.

Greg Weinger [00:09:34]:
But I mean, I mean I knew this longer than that. Yeah. But what was going on for me was that in my mind, if I'm an introvert, this means I can't be a leader. I had that idea in my mind. Totally false. I was a hold of some bad facts, but this was the bind I was in. That and the information that you've known for quite some time and there's just amazing content out there, particularly starting 2012, 2013, there's just kind of an explosion of awareness about all the research and just the knowledge that introverts. What is introversion? And all the capabilities and strengths that we have.

Greg Weinger [00:10:26]:
And this, all this information wasn't reaching me. So. And so it was a little bit more about how I, how I reached the conclusion. So, you know, like in the workplace, you know, I spent 20 plus years kind of rising in different roles and you know, you know, growing as a leader. And you know, part of that whole program is you're taking these tests, the, you know, there's Myers Briggs and know all the, all the different, like the disc and all these things. And so I kept seeing on my test, you know, coming up, this, what's this? I here this introversion. And you know, and then I saw that and I was like, oh, that seems bad because it's going against, it's going against the program. And then, so what would happen would be I would take the test and I would be.

Greg Weinger [00:11:15]:
And I'm a really good test taker. That was part of just my natural strength as you know, I would be looking to give the answer, you Know, the less introverted answer, you know, the more extroverted answer. So I. And kind of. And I kind of knew what I was doing. It was. But it was part to fool myself, but also to fool anyone else who might be looking at it. So it was just.

Greg Weinger [00:11:37]:
I was really in denial about all this stuff. But it seemed, you know, I had that belief that this was a flaw. And then I also believed that with the right amount of effort, I could just kind of stamp out, you know, the, you know, some of these. These tendencies.

David Hall [00:11:54]:
Did you. Did the. Did it say that you were e. Did you get. Did you get it to do that?

Greg Weinger [00:12:00]:
I. I can't recall. But yeah, it definitely. It definitely toned down some of the. You know, what would have been my honest answer is that, you know, I don't. I don't love confrontation naturally. You know, I don't.

David Hall [00:12:12]:
You know, but.

Greg Weinger [00:12:14]:
And honestly, it was really. It's when I got to the point of being a senior leader, an executive reporting to a CEO, where, like, things kind of came to a head, and it was. I was just working, like, I was just completely surrounded by extroverted executives, and they were really challenging me. You know, there's very confrontational, very loud, very hard to break in and all these things. And so I started doing this work with an executive coach, and. And he did. Helped me get into my past, and that really. That was the deep work that led me to acceptance about this.

Greg Weinger [00:12:55]:
And then. And then I kind of. I mean, he wasn't even encouraging of, you know, putting labels on things, but I found it empowering to. To read all these things and to identify with this because it really helped me to accept these parts of my personality.

David Hall [00:13:11]:
Yeah. Yeah. Myers Briggs was powerful for me. You know, just like, okay, you know, here's. I am an introvert, and there's strengths that come with it. Was there any other resources that were particularly powerful for you?

Greg Weinger [00:13:27]:
Well, it really started with Susan Cain's book Quiet. You know, I spent a lot of time with that, and then I started doing research and seeing there's so many. You know, there's. Barbara Kahnweiler has a number of books. It's, you know, Jen Graniman's website. There's. There's all these things, and you start to see people around you, and then you. You, like, realize, okay, I'm in good company here.

David Hall [00:13:57]:
Yeah. Yeah. You're definitely not the first to say that Susan Cain's book was. Was powerful. She really helped people to see, hey, you know what? There's nothing wrong with you in Fact, you have great strengths, and two out of the three I've had on the show, so I've had Jennifer Kahnweiler and Jen Granneman on the show, so they are. They are wonderful. And they've also helped many people.

Greg Weinger [00:14:20]:
Yeah, absolutely. They're. They make you feel comfortable.

David Hall [00:14:25]:
Yes. Yeah. So what is a strength that you have because you're an introvert?

Greg Weinger [00:14:30]:
Sure. Well, part of it is we think before we speak, and I think that's kind of a gateway, kind of a skill or talent, because I believe that's what gives you the ability to have more perspective. I really like to absorb a problem and chew on it and not even fully consciously on it. That's where I do my best work and thinking. So there's depth of thought and also feeling. Increasingly, I'm more in touch with the feeling part than I have been in the past. But things that other people recognize, see and recognize as ability to remain calm, to be calm in situations, and that really has a lot of power because it impacts others as well as yourself. It kind of calm situations, helps people be more.

Greg Weinger [00:15:29]:
Yeah, I don't know if rational is the right word, but, you know, it helps. Helps give people the same distance from maybe the reactivity they're having in the situation.

David Hall [00:15:39]:
Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, introverts, we do have a gift for thinking, and we do need some space and time to do that. But that can really. You know, you described earlier that you are working with a lot of extroverted executives and. And they're expecting immediate answers. Right. Most of the time. And you have to be able to show, you know what, Give me some time to think about it, and I will come up with something brilliant.

David Hall [00:16:04]:
And that can be really hard to, you know, build up that reputation and, you know, just really articulate that. Hey, you know what I need? I need, you know, a few moments or I need a day. You know, let me give that some thought, and I will come up with something great.

Greg Weinger [00:16:18]:
Yeah, that's an important tactic. A big part. And this is, you know, a big part of staying present in those situations. You know, this is where I really needed to. Needed to cultivate a mindfulness practice and conscious breathing, because what would happen, part of the tactics or just in those situations is sometimes there's attacks or there's like, well, what about this? And what about this? And then it's bouncing around. It's going too fast for my introvert brain, because I want to process everything that's happening. And I'm still working on some point that's brought up three points ago. And they're just bouncing around and that's kind of how they achieve whatever impact they're trying to achieve.

Greg Weinger [00:17:10]:
It's not about, let's go into depth on each of these points. So that's where I had to found. I found that breathing and mindfulness would allow me to allow all these things to be. And then kind of sit back and say, okay, what is the best reaction in this situation? So, and I think that what you just said is a great suggestion. But I think mindfulness, if you're going to be a senior leader anytime, any level of leader, when you're working with extroverts who might be bouncing around, when you're, you know, you kind of want to address everything and go through and process everything, you know that mindfulness can be a helpful technique.

David Hall [00:17:55]:
Yeah. So let's talk more, more about that. What, what is it? What is mindfulness and how do you achieve it?

Greg Weinger [00:18:01]:
Yeah. So, you know, it's. No, I, I think that there's a lot, a lot of definitions out there. It's, I think about this, is this there's a capacity to be quiet and still and sometimes it's help. I've personally found it helpful to cultivate this, this feeling of stillness or peace in my meditation practice. We were, we were talking just before this. You know, I start every morning and I have done for, for many years now. You know, used to be 10 minutes and 15 minutes.

Greg Weinger [00:18:38]:
And you know, in recent years it's been closer to 45 minutes or an hour. But it's, it's, it's, it's very hard for you to do your best thinking if your mind is racing. So you need to develop this capacity to stop your thinking mind and ease into what you know. There's a lot of words for it, stillness or presence. Sometimes it's just focusing on your breath. But when you stop your thinking mind, there's this calmness that comes over you and that gives you the capacity to do your best. This is actually where creativity comes from. It's where your best thinking comes from.

Greg Weinger [00:19:17]:
It's where invention comes from. And this is something where it actually comes more natural to introverts because we're kind of naturally seeking out quiet situations. And that's another reason why a lot of our greatest writers and artists and scientists, even so Einstein, Thoreau, Whitman, think about those kinds of people were introverts. So mindfulness is really kind of a set of techniques to help you take these natural capacities which you, as an introvert may be More inclined to have and bring them into the world with you. Because what I found, and you know, this goes back to. I was talking about originally, I felt like I could only be myself in my writing. And maybe some, some people have had a similar situation. I felt that way because I was able to sit down and be still enough and focus enough on that task where, where the best of, you know, there was some stillness, there was some presence of mind and the best, this best part of myself would come out.

Greg Weinger [00:20:24]:
And so there, you know, when you go out and look for these practices, they would help you to do that. Not just in an artificial situation with like meditation or even, even as in doing your art is. I don't know if it's artificial, but it's just a, you know, it's a segmented part of your, your life and it's to try to bring that into your walks as you go you, you know, you go out into the world. It's to bring it into your meetings with, with other people. And so the more that you do that, the more of the best of the you is available and comes out in the world.

David Hall [00:21:06]:
Absolutely. So on this show we talk about the strengths of introverts which we have been doing and you know, needs that come along with that. We also bust myths. So is there a myth about introverts that you want to bust today?

Greg Weinger [00:21:21]:
Oh, sure. Yeah, Always. Yeah. That silence is weakness. So it reminded me of a story. This reminds me of a story of. I worked with a guy, he was the number two at our company and he had long worked with our CEO and he mostly remained silent, but when he opened his mouth, it was so sharp and you kind of had to watch out because he was a really sharp guy sometimes. So it was kind of nerve wracking.

Greg Weinger [00:21:57]:
And so we'd get in a meeting with him and he would be. Everyone would be debating around and bouncing around and you'd see him and you could tell he was thinking and taking everything in. And at the end of the meeting he would just give his opinion. And sometimes you didn't want to hear it and other times he would just say it sounds good. So he just had that ability to. He also did this in one on one conversations too. And a lot of people found it unnerving because he had this ability to hold the pause and hold that silence and you really couldn't tell, like, is he thinking or what is he thinking? Like it's, it's kind of nerve wracking. And then he would just, he was like.

Greg Weinger [00:22:41]:
And he Just didn't seem to care. And then sometimes you just say, okay. So that's one example of silence. I just heard an amazing story that Elizabeth Gilbert told on her podcast recently with Glennon Doyle. And so Elizabeth Gilbert tells us the way she tells the story. She went to see Thich Nhat Hanh, the Zen teacher in New York City. And, you know, she went with a friend of hers who's. Who's very nervous.

Greg Weinger [00:23:17]:
And it's like, always had some feeling, you know, visible agitation, you know, hands shaking, doing something, you know, moving around. And she felt like, you know, this is a whole audience of, like, kind of neurotic New Yorkers. And so it's very loud and boisterous in this auditorium. And then Thich Nhat Hanh came out on the stage, sits down. And so it's just. He was a pretty diminutive person sitting in a chair in front of this audience of, like, thousand plus New Yorkers. And he doesn't say a word, and he just sits in stillness. Kind of probably in, you know, the calm presence.

Greg Weinger [00:23:53]:
And the way she described it, she was in the back, and she watches as people in the front row kind of settle, and then in the next row settle and row by row. Gradually, the whole auditorium kind of tunes into this sense of calm, and it's like a contagion, and it flows all the way back to the very back of the row. And then she watched her friend calm down completely. She said, this is the most powerful person that I've ever seen.

David Hall [00:24:24]:
Wow. Yeah. So it's. It's like the first person you described. That's kind of where the name Quiet and Strong came from. Because I've had people react that way to me that, you know, they perceive me as quiet. But then somebody told me, you know, when you talk, people listen. And I've had that experience, as I'm sure you have, and it's like I.

David Hall [00:24:51]:
I am no longer. I no longer think something's wrong with me. I'm very confident. But I realized that I'm never going to talk as much as my extroverted friends and colleagues, because I'm gonna think, and it's not a bad thing. But that was something that was kind of surprising to me. It's like, oh, well, you're not gonna all of a sudden think out loud most of the time. You know, you're still gonna process things. And it's.

David Hall [00:25:15]:
It's really a gift and that, you know, people just. You have to be able to work with that and help people understand, because Our teams are going to be made of introverts and extroverts. And this communication piece is often the biggest challenge if you don't understand it and you're an introvert and you're thinking and then sharing what's most important. And people around you, they're speaking in order to develop their ideas. If you don't understand that, you can feel marginalized. You know, you can feel like, okay, I'm not a valuable contributor here, but if you learn to prepare and speak up, you can be very powerful.

Greg Weinger [00:25:59]:
Absolutely. And yeah, I hear that suggestion, prepare, come up again and again. And that's why in. In part of my work, one of the things, both as a leader and as I've, you know, in my podcasting and, you know, newsletter writing, trying to share techniques to help leaders create structures that are more supportive of everyone, including extra introverts. And that does include giving time for preparation. So, like, we. I have an article I wrote about brainstorming, and basically, brainstorming is a useless activity. It was one of the most humorous quotes in Susan Cain's book.

Greg Weinger [00:26:44]:
They said, American businessmen must be insane to keep brainstorming the way it's practiced normally. So you give people the idea in advance, the chance to come up with ideas they bring. So you're bringing in and discussing ideas that people have. Have thought of beforehand, and works out much better for. For actually for both introverts and extroverts.

David Hall [00:27:10]:
Yeah, for sure. And, you know, sometimes, depending on how it's done, brainstorming can be effective. But also recognize that sometimes people are going to come up with some great ideas. Outside of brainstorming, I know that some of my best ideas are just me wrestling with something for a while and. And letting my mind do its work, and I come up with something great. You know, and brainstorming isn't always, always that for me, that's right.

Greg Weinger [00:27:39]:
In the shower or on the train or.

David Hall [00:27:41]:
Yeah.

Greg Weinger [00:27:43]:
When the apple falls on your head.

David Hall [00:27:45]:
Yeah. Yeah, I figured that out, especially during the pandemic, because I. I was going into the office all the time, and, you know, then all of a sudden I was just working from home. And that time in the car, that was some powerful time for me, even though I didn't miss it. I didn't miss paying for gas and spending the time, but just that stepping away was a really powerful time for me to think.

Greg Weinger [00:28:09]:
That's a good point. Yeah. Sometimes I used to dread that time, the commute time, but it is really good thinking and processing time.

David Hall [00:28:19]:
Yeah. So tell us about your podcast.

Greg Weinger [00:28:22]:
Sure. So I went after this once I had come up with all these realizations that I really wanted to help spread the word because I felt like there's such great content. How do I help this information reach people like me? And I thought of this as helping my 30 year old self and what would I have wanted to hear and learn and from that. And so that was really the kernel of the idea for the podcast. And so I've just started it last October and I'm about 12 episodes in of interviews and I have written content on there as well. But it's been an incredible journey and I've gotten, I'm starting to. As I build momentum, I'm starting to talk to people like you. I spoke with Kayla Chung yet the other day I interviewed her on the podcast.

Greg Weinger [00:29:19]:
She has the website Introvert Spring. I'm going to talk to Tracy Cooper, which he works on highly sensitive people. He's kind of an expert in that realm and writes about that for men, which is if you think you don't want to be known as an introvert, try being known as a highly sensitive person, as a man that even more challenging for a lot of people. So honestly, it's a real privilege to get to talk to people and spend this time and I'm really happy to be part of getting this information out and spreading the message.

David Hall [00:30:00]:
Yeah. So what's it called?

Greg Weinger [00:30:03]:
It is called the Powerful Introvert Podcast and there's the story behind the name. Actually my, one of my colleagues I still work with her referred. Once referred to me as a powerful introvert and I said, oh, I like that.

David Hall [00:30:17]:
Yeah, that's awesome. And I mean, look at us, a couple introverts having a great conversation, enjoying it. We have a lot to say and podcasting can really be a great medium for doing that. You know, we're having a nice one on one conversation, but it's shared with many and you know, it's. It's a great idea to. Or a great way to get our ideas out there.

Greg Weinger [00:30:41]:
Yeah, I agree that the one on one conversation is definitely a strength and yeah, totally agree. It's a great medium for that.

David Hall [00:30:50]:
Yeah. So you talk a lot about leadership and does leadership really belong to the loudest in the room?

Greg Weinger [00:30:58]:
It does it indeed, David. We're just suckers for that person and especially in America. And it is very culturally tied and that's one of those just those things. It really unlocked that idea. Just that knowledge that this is culturally determined in Susan Cain's book really unlocked things for me when I first read about that. But it's our conditioning and we give that loud, confident person the benefit of the doubt too often. Now, sometimes they're great and you should follow them. But there's some evidence that this is part of our cognitive biases.

Greg Weinger [00:31:41]:
There's Kahneman and Traversky's thinking fast and slow. We have these programs that were developed on the savanna over millions of years. And it probably was a good idea or a good bias to go with the loud, boisterous guy when you're being attacked or something, but it's just not a great heuristic for modern society today. And so I think another version of this question is what is leadership? And I think that it's a lot of things, but involves integrity, empathy, vision, and this ability to simplify the complexity of our situation into a story that a group can follow and helps them be more successful. It's that ability to provide strategic thinking and focus on the long term. And none of these things require volume.

David Hall [00:32:42]:
Yeah. And it is a big myth, and I think that too many people are buying into it that, you know, you do need to be the loudest in the room. But the funny thing to me, especially as I keep diving deeper into it, I don't think most, even though people believe it, I don't think that's what they want. I don't think most people want the large and in charge leader. They do want someone that's, as you're describing, more thoughtful, empathetic, being able to really do some strategic thinking. And it's just, that's definitely a big myth out there.

Greg Weinger [00:33:16]:
One idea I hear as a counterpoint to that is that it's situational in that there are certain situations where, and I think it's maybe when there's the most uncertainty and people are fearful, sometimes someone standing up and just having complete confidence is reassuring. And maybe that's a lesson for introverted leaders or introverts and to be sensitive to those situations and that realize that maybe there is a different response from you that's required.

David Hall [00:33:51]:
Yeah. And you said earlier that a strength that you could, you have and many introverts have is the ability to appear calm. And also you're talking about confidence. How do we gain confidence as an introverted leader?

Greg Weinger [00:34:07]:
Right. Yeah, that's a good question. I, you know, well, confidence is, is comes from proving competence to yourself. And so if you have situations or that you've. That are similar to what you're going through and then you can look at those, recall those and know that you Know, I've done something like this before. And so for an introvert, it's, it's really like, it's put getting those experiences and building, building up a, you know, enough of a, of a history of the having those experiences to have confidence in the, in the situation.

David Hall [00:34:54]:
Yeah. And how do you look at professional growth, personal growth for introverted leaders?

Greg Weinger [00:35:00]:
So, yeah, and then this is kind of maps to how my journey has gone. You know, part it's about acceptance, like we've talked about, is recognizing, you know, where you are, your strengths or weaknesses. And part of that sometimes is getting outside feedback. You know, I think it was not until I had really strong outside feedback where I could realize, okay, this is truly where I am at. You know, I couldn't fool myself that I was doing differently in a situation. And sometimes it's your failures that really confront you with where you're at. But that mirror can come from really honest and supportive peer or mentor as well. Then I think the second part is clarity about what you want to achieve, where do you want to get? And it helps if the program is truly yours.

Greg Weinger [00:35:57]:
It's not somebody else's program that you're buying into. And then it's a matter of figuring out, okay, I know where I want to get to, so what kind of person do I need to be to achieve those things? Or what capacities do I need that I don't have now? And then last is just doing the work and making the changes to become the person which can't. You know, when you talk about growth, that can be uncomfortable.

David Hall [00:36:26]:
Yeah, for sure. And you know, I think we said this, but our teams are going to be made up of introverts and extroverts in general. And what do you say to the leader out there, either introvert or extrovert, how do they get to know these different personality styles and strengths to keep building a solid team?

Greg Weinger [00:36:49]:
Sorry, like understanding the different types of personalities on their team. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think a lot of introverts are naturally empathetic, you know, naturally. And so what I'd say, you know, particularly on the team, and especially if you're more comfortable one on one, that's really a great ground to establish connection and try to learn how to understand where different people and different people on your team are coming from. And I actually think that extends to as your role grows and you start working with people in different departments, you start working with people who maybe you're encountering people who are more different from you. So that was kind of my journey So I started out, I started out writing code for a while and so then I was working with engineers and it's a pretty introverted crew and but as I started taking on management roles or these cross functional roles, you start working with people in marketing and people in sales and they start to be, it's more likely they're wired pretty differently from you. So working with them one on one, you really get to know them, their personality types. But this is also, by the way, one of the keys to your power as an introverted leader is you form these deep relationships with people around you and around your company.

Greg Weinger [00:38:27]:
And then that becomes like you mentioned before, when you do enter in one of these situations, how do you establish that trust and confidence in you? They've spent a bunch of time with you in these other situations and so they've formed opinions of you and respect for you and they bring that to you. And so they're gonna, they're gonna give you that grace and they're gonna give you that space to. And you know, you start to see maybe where the guy I mentioned earlier was coming from. It's probably in his best interest to just let everyone, you know, chat it all out. By the end of the meeting he's formed a pretty sharp opinion about the way things need to go.

David Hall [00:39:07]:
Yeah, absolutely. Greg, you also say that self care is non negotiable for introverted leaders. What do you mean by that?

Greg Weinger [00:39:15]:
Yeah, self care is an interesting concept because I think on the surface you might think like self care, I brush my teeth, I shower and we know it's like sleep or exercise obviously, but what we're really talking about is something a little deeper. It's, it's, it's really that more tender, maybe subconscious part of yourself, maybe a younger part of yourself that you may need to be a little more quiet and to tune into. It's, it's kind of the, the deeper voice in you. And what happens if you're, if you're not taking care, if you're not listening to that voice and responding to that voice, in a sense you're turning against that part of yourself. That's what not taking care of yourself means. And the crazy thing is that that undermines your self confidence. So if you're a quieter person, you're trying to lead, you're naturally going to be doing some things that are more challenging for you and that makes it extra important. So there are going to be some things that this inner part of yourself isn't cool with or maybe needs to be reassured about it's important to.

Greg Weinger [00:40:40]:
But you're doing this because you believe it's important. You want to have an influence on people. You want to maybe make things better for other introverts or just make things better for everyone. So there are some circumstances where you're going to have to take yourself out of your comfort zone. And so that's, so those things can be challenging for that inner part of you. And that's why this level of self care is important, to tune into that voice and really see what you need. And that's making sure you do have enough time for rest or breaks or this is where breathing comes in. You giving yourself more space and to kind of become aware of what you know, to tune back into that voice.

Greg Weinger [00:41:26]:
And maybe you need to reassure yourself like, okay, well I know this is, this is kind of rough right now, but I'm here with you and you know, we're going to, we're going to get through this or we're going to go get ice cream afterward or whatever it is.

David Hall [00:41:39]:
Did you have to learn, like to manage your energy and take proper breaks and you know, give yourself space? Did you have to learn how to do that?

Greg Weinger [00:41:49]:
I'm still working on it, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. It's really challenging. So I do great at this on my own at home and I'm fortunate that I get to work from home quite a bit. We do have an office. I go into the office, but I'm challenged. When we come into, we have on site meetings. So we'll get together for three days or four days and this is super intense.

Greg Weinger [00:42:16]:
And like the extroverts want to be like they're on starting 8am and they want to go to 10pm, you know, like, like we sit in these meetings till 5 or 6pm and then they want to go to happy hour and then we're going to dinner and then we go to a bar afterwards. And you know, this, you know, that's just not cool for an extrovert. You know, that's, that doesn't work. So yeah, you know, you have to learn to. Okay, well I'm going to go retreat for half an hour here or I'm going to go take walks periodically. And it's been an hour and a half, like, hey, we need to take five minutes for a break or something. It's a little bit easier for me being in a leadership position. But I really think that these are things that I've watched people who are individual contributors open their mouths and say, hey, I could really use a Break.

Greg Weinger [00:43:09]:
I know that they're introverts too. So everyone can advocate for themselves because it's half or more of us who feel that way. And it's not right to let a minority or just even half of the population kind of make things more unpleasant for everybody else.

David Hall [00:43:30]:
Yeah, for sure. You just have to learn what you need and be able to articulate it and, and let people know, hey, I'm going to be my best if I have this. You know, it's not, it's not strange or weird that I need this time alone. I just, it's going to help me be better indeed.

Greg Weinger [00:43:47]:
That's right.

David Hall [00:43:48]:
Greg, this has been a wonderful conversation. Is there anything else you want to add today?

Greg Weinger [00:43:53]:
Oh, yeah. So I always have lots of different things. One thing I've been working on that's I wanted to mention is I've been working on an ebook called how to secure your next promotion in 90 days. So it's, it's really, this is a topic that, you know, I've spent a lot of my life thinking about, a lot of energy thinking about. And I've, I got into mentorship after a while and so I've really helped a lot of people think about that and get to the next level wherever they are they're at. And you know, especially as an introvert, we might hesitate to take action for too long. And so you may not be rewarded like the way you, you should be. And so it's really about, you know, supporting people in thinking about deciding what they want and then going out and get it.

Greg Weinger [00:44:51]:
Because I really, in my experience, it really comes down to a decision and something that you must have. And it's when, when you are that committed to an outcome in your mind, things just tend to flow naturally for you. And it's, this is, you know, I have the 90 day plan. I've seen it work as, as, as fast as 48 hours, like someone makes a decision. And that was actually my experience in a, in a very particular situation where I made up my mind. I spoke to my boss, we talked to the CEO and we worked it out super fast. I've seen a lot of people do this in 90 days or less. Regardless, in that time frame, you can commit to an outcome and it's going to happen one way or another.

Greg Weinger [00:45:40]:
It's going to happen at your current company. It's not always going to be the right place for you. If not there, it's somewhere else. But either way, you can set yourself on the path where you want to go. So that's an ebook and that's something I'm offering. If you join my substack, subscribe and send me a message, I will share that with you. It's all for free.

David Hall [00:46:05]:
Awesome. That sounds great. How can people find you and get to know your work a little better?

Greg Weinger [00:46:12]:
Yeah, I'm on powerful introvert1word.substack.com if you go to powerandplay also.substack.com, they go to the same place. Please check out my articles. I've got a podcast there. I'm also on Apple and Spotify as Powerful Introvert. You'll find it awesome.

David Hall [00:46:32]:
Thanks again Greg. This has been a great conversation and introverts can make amazing leaders.

Greg Weinger [00:46:38]:
Absolutely. Thanks so much for having me.

David Hall [00:46:40]:
David thank you so much for joining me. I appreciate you. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from other amazing guests. Remember, if you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there is now a free typefinder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report including the four letter Myers Briggs Code. I'll add a link in the show notes and I'd love to connect with you. Reach out@davidquietenstrong.com or check out the quietandstrong.com website which includes blog posts and links to social media for Quiet and strong and much more. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show.

David Hall [00:47:20]:
So many great things about being an introvert and so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.