The Quiet and Strong Podcast, Especially for Introverts
The Quiet and Strong Podcast, Especially for Introverts
Ep 246 - Embracing Change: The Art and Science of Transformation with guest Dr. Meg Trucano
Are you ready to make bold changes in your life but aren’t sure where to start? In this inspiring episode of the Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall welcomes developmental psychologist and career coach Dr. Meg Trucano to discuss the art and science of transformation. Whether you’re facing burnout, reconsidering your career path, or simply longing for more authenticity, this conversation is packed with practical insights and encouragement—especially for introverts.
Listen in to discover how to reconnect with your authentic self, rebel against limiting beliefs, and embrace self-trust as you navigate big life transitions. Dr. Meg shares her Real Change Framework, the importance of managing your energy, and actionable ways to build confidence through small acts of self-honoring. You’ll hear real-life stories about breaking free from “shoulds,” learn strategies for managing your schedule, and get tips for making empowered, self-directed decisions.
If you want to understand your introverted strengths, overcome myths about introversion, or find courage to take those first steps toward lasting change, this episode is for you. Tune in, get inspired—and be strong.
Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/246
Dr. Meg Trucano is a developmental psychologist, former federal researcher, and the founder of a psychology-based coaching practice for ambitious women navigating major life, career, lifestyle, and identity changes. After burning out from a high-level research career, she created her coaching practice and the REAL Change Framework to help women ditch their "shoulds," reclaim their energy, and start making unapologetically self-directed decisions. She is the host of the Changeology podcast, which explores the art, science, philosophy, and psychology of making big, bold, badass life changes. She is also wife to an Ironman triathlete husband, and mom to boy-girl twin toddlers.
Connect with Meg: Website | LinkedIn | Instagram
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Minding Your Time: Time Management, Productivity, and Success, Especially for Introverts
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:00:00]:
And so I think that is the work that is so crucial. To begin the process is to reconnect with that, that voice, that inner knowing that we all have. It's just underneath a bunch of other stuff that we may care about and we may not care about. Our job is to figure out what we want to keep and what we want to move.
David Hall [00:00:32]:
Hello and welcome to episode 246 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host David hall and the creator of quietandstrong.com this is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform, leave a review a rating that would mean a lot to me and also help others find the show, tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Dr. Meg Trucano is a developmental psychologist, former federal researcher and the founder of a psychology based coaching practice for ambitious women navigating major career, lifestyle and identity changes. After burning out from a high level research career, she created her coaching practice and the Real Change Framework to help women ditch their shoulds, reclaim their energy and start making unapologetically self directed decisions.
David Hall [00:01:40]:
She's the host of the Changeology podcast which explores the art, science, philosophy and psychology of making big bold, badass life changes. She is also wife to an Ironman triathlete and mom to boy girl twin toddlers. All right, well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast. Meg, make it so good to have you on today.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:02:02]:
Thank you so much for having me. I'm delighted to be here.
David Hall [00:02:04]:
Yeah, I'm looking forward to our conversation. And first of course, tell us a little bit about yourself and your journey to where you are now.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:02:13]:
Yeah, so I spent my time after grad school, I got a PhD in developmental psychology. I spent about 10 to 12 years in the federal contracting space. So I did lots of research and evaluation for the federal government in the United States and I burned out hard after about 10 to 12 years doing that. I kind of had gotten into autopilot trying to get my name as first author on lots of papers, become the project director of projects. And I kind of just, just, I didn't really want any of that, but I sort of took it on as being a metric of success that I needed to achieve. So after, you know, 10, 12 years of doing that, I, my body was like no you're done. So I burnt out pretty hard at that point. I had a coach and she, she pushed me and she said, hey, we've been talking about this for a while.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:03:11]:
How are you going to feel in a year if you do nothing to change right now? And so from that point, I really, I dove into what I think I was actually put here to do, which is to coach people and to help them navigate periods of big change. And so, yeah, it's been four years since that happened. So here, here we are.
David Hall [00:03:32]:
All right. Also, you're a fellow introvert. How did you figure that out? And did you have to learn to embrace it?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:03:39]:
I did have to learn to embrace it. It came easy to me, though, once I learned about it. But I was a late figure outer. A mutual connection of ours. Emily Parks kind of told me after a session one day, we were in the same program together. She's like, I think you might be an introvert. And it just hit me like a ton of bricks because I had always understood misunderstood, I suppose, you, the introversion as being, you know, I'm shy and I'm, you know, I don't like speaking with people or I don't like being around people. And that's not it at all.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:04:16]:
You know, it's all about kind of, as you and I were talking about before we hit record, it's about really preferring depth over breadth and how you need to kind of recharge after things that kind of drain your energy a little bit. So it did take me a little while to understand the nuances of how I. I specifically like to operate. But it made so much sense after evaluating some parts of my life. So, for instance, I love hosting small groups of people for a dinner and like, you know, getting really deep into conversation. I really don't like hosting parties with lots of people where I get only to talk to them at, like, you know, in five, five minute increments every now and again. So it's, it's those nuanced differences that began to make a lot more sense to me after I learned I was an introvert.
David Hall [00:05:11]:
Yeah. And shout out to Emily's Parks. So she's been on this podcast, I've been on hers, and she does some great work around introversion, especially around managing your energy. So that, that's wonderful that you got to meet her and she helped you realize that you're an introvert.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:05:27]:
Yeah. I'll be forever grateful.
David Hall [00:05:29]:
Yeah. And, you know, we talk about strengths, we also bust myths. You know, you definitely are busting one Right there. We like people, you know, and, you know, you're. You're hosting. You want to connect with people in a deep way. You just don't want to bounce from person to person and have some surface talk and not, you know, some surface talk is great. Some small talk is great, but you don't want to stay there.
David Hall [00:05:56]:
You don't want. You want to get to the deeper conversations about things that you really care about and the people that you're talking to really care about.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:06:04]:
Yeah. And I think there, it comes down to, in my mind, the difference between, hey, how are you? And how are you? You know, and those are the conversations that I really like to have with people is, like, catching up and, like, what's going on with you and not just, what have you done in the last two weeks since I saw you last?
David Hall [00:06:25]:
Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, you also mentioned you thought that introverts were shy, and it's funny because that is a big misconception out there. But also, extroverts can be shy. So why are we using the term introvert to mean shy? I know plenty of shy extroverts.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:06:43]:
Yeah, I'm not sure why we have that. That association. I have a. I had a few other kind of misconceptions as well, like, oh, I don't like people, or, you know, you prefer to work alone always. That's not true. I enjoy collaborating with people when it's the right f it, you know, And I think the shy one is. Is mystifying to me as well, because, yeah, I definitely know some shy extroverts. They must be in environments where there.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:07:14]:
There's a lot going on and, like, a lot to process, and they just don't. They're not interested in participating, but they. They're in those environments and they're soaking up that energy.
David Hall [00:07:26]:
Yeah. Just when they're shy, it just means they're lacking confidence for some reason. You know, they're not confident in what they have to say or approaching situations and people, but they still want that environment. Yeah. All right. And then what's the strength you have because you're an introvert?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:07:47]:
I think my introversion makes me a really great coach. I'm really empathetic and very thoughtful, and I. I'm a very observant person, and I go really deep. So I don't. I seem to be able to cut through even what a person offers an explanation for something, a behavior, for example. I can kind of see that. Okay, that's surface. Let's go deeper.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:08:17]:
Let's let's really figure out what's going on here. And I think that's a huge strength in my industry for the person that I'm coaching. I think a lot of times that takes them by surprise, especially if they're new to coaching, but it almost always results in deeper transformation, which is kind of my thing.
David Hall [00:08:38]:
Yeah. And we're going to get into that for sure. One more introvert question for you. How do you. How have you learned to manage your energy? Was that something you had to learn?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:08:46]:
I definitely had to learn. I'm still learning. Again, I'm relatively new to this realization that I'm an introvert. So I've been trying a few things, but I think the intersection of learning that I'm an introvert and also becoming a mother. So I'm a mom of twin toddlers. So they are little energy.
David Hall [00:09:06]:
Yeah, that's got to keep you busy.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:09:09]:
Keeps me busy. And they're exhausting. I'll just be honest. So I have taken to. I'm. I'm an entrepreneur. I get to set my own schedule. This is not going to work for every introvert.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:09:19]:
But I have to take naps in the middle of the day to sort of reset my energy. It's the only way that I can really manage my business, my coaching and my family life and my energy at the same time without being completely depleted.
David Hall [00:09:38]:
Yeah, you just take a nap the same time the toddlers do. Is that how you work that out?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:09:43]:
I used to. Now they're at school and they're taking. Kind of just stuck with the schedule.
David Hall [00:09:49]:
Yeah. No, and it's. It's. People all are that are listening have different amounts of control over their schedule. Some have very little control. Some have a lot. And it's amazing when you can work towards that, when you can work towards, you know, what I function best with a nap. And not everybody can take a nap.
David Hall [00:10:07]:
But, you know, if you could work, if that's something you really need, you could. You could work towards that, you know, or whatever it is. You know, I. I've met introverts that say, yeah, this is a. I'm gonna have like a meeting free day where it's just, you know, I'm getting some work done. I don't schedule anything. And, you know, not everybody can do that. But when you can work towards managing your schedule and take more control over it, that.
David Hall [00:10:31]:
That can really be powerful. Yeah.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:10:34]:
And I think there is an assumption sometimes that you have less control over your schedule than you actually do. I had a colleague when we were all working in office at the same time. Right. This is before COVID And she would just shut her door and take a 20 minute nap on her floor with a stuffed broccoli. That's broccoli. And she would sleep on it and it. She would wake up and she would be ready to go again. Nobody needed to know that she was doing that.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:11:06]:
As far as anybody else is concerned, it's not bothering them. It's not, you know, the door was closed. So I think kind of taking, taking ownership of your own energy and really exercising agency to the extent that you can is a huge, is a huge step in the right direction for change and for anything else. If something is different from how you want it to be, you have the, or some power at least to, to create a better situation for yourself.
David Hall [00:11:37]:
Yeah. And that's what we're going to get into today. So let's start with your podcast, Changeology. What made you start that? What kind of topics do you discuss?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:11:47]:
Yeah, so I started it because a lot of my clients that I would work with would say to me things like, I wish I had known, you know, that there was a person out there that did something similar. Or, you know, I wish I had known that this was a possibility for me because we get very, as we move forward in our lives, sometimes our blinders kind of narrow our focus. Right. We don't really have a sense of all the options that are available to us. And so that was why I started Changeology, which is the art, art and science of, of making big, bold, badass change. Right? You, you need to have inspiration and you need to have guidance. And so there's three segments on Changeology. One is the inspiring stories of people that have gone through massive changes.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:12:39]:
And there have been some amazing, amazing ones. There are experts that have shared their expertise that are in kind of change adjacent fields. So for instance, we had a nutritionist, we had a relationship coach, those kinds of things. So like, as you're changing, some of these other things are going to need support. That's kind of the goal behind that segment. And then there's a segment where I show up as a coach and I take a topic and break it down and people can kind of get an understanding of what it's like to coach with me. And so my goal with Changeology was inspire, educate, and kind of create a fire to create the life that you want.
David Hall [00:13:23]:
Yeah, let's talk more about that. How do we make these big changes?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:13:27]:
So I, I think it's step wise, but it has to Start with rebelling against all the noise, all the. All the stories and nonsense that keep running in the back of your. Back of your head that, without exploration, can kind of dictate your behavior. Right? So this is kind of like clearing all the weeds. You have to take a look at your behavior right now, how it is contributing to your status quo that you don't like, in whatever area of your life that you would like to make a change. And you have to address that. You have to look at it, and you have to understand your role in it. So then kind of that's the first stage of making real change.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:14:14]:
The second stage is energy. It's all about energy. So you optimize your energy by saying no to the things that just take your energy without your permission. So these are things like social obligations that don't fill your cup or, you know, I don't know why this one keeps coming up in my circles, but it's like the PTA is the biggest thing. Like, you do not have to be on the pta. Like, that's not a requirement. But again, if you don't clear out this belief that to be a good parent, you have to be on the pta, all of this is going to be for naught. So energy is all about kind of optimizing where your energy goes.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:14:53]:
And then you have to align your resources with what you want to create is your time and your energy and your money going towards the things that you value and prioritize. And if they're not, you have to make the change and then leap. Which is the final word in the real change framework is taking decisive action. You get to choose, but you have to move. And change is not gonna just come to you in the form that you want it to take. You have to go after it. And once you decide, you will gain momentum in making that happen for yourself. So that, in my opinion, is how you make big change.
David Hall [00:15:39]:
Awesome. Talk a little bit more about being a rebel. What does that mean to you?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:15:44]:
Oh, this is my favorite thing to talk about. I love it. So being a rebel is choosing to examine the beliefs that are conscious and unconscious that are leading you to behave in certain ways. I talked a little bit about motherhood beliefs, but this example from one of my. My former clients is a really good one. She grew up in the Deep South. Her mother always told her, you don't show up in public without a full face of makeup. You just don't.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:16:18]:
So this was kind of cooked into her from a very young age. And she came to Me. She's like, I'm exhausted. And I just, like the mornings are just so hard for me. I get up at 5 o', clock, drop the kids off at 7:30 at daycare and then I start working. I was like, wait, wait, wait, what's happening between 5am and 7:30? And she's like, oh, I'm getting ready for the day, I'm showering and putting on my makeup, I'm doing my hair. And I was like, why does this need to happen before 7:30 in like can you do drop off and then come home before work starts and get it done in there? And she's like, oh no, I could never. And so we took a look at that and it's do you, I asked her, do you want to continue with this? Like do you believe that you must show up at the daycare drop off line fully made up? She's like, oh, I guess not.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:17:10]:
I guess that's not mine, that's my mom's. That's not my story. So we reframed it and she got a lot more sleep in the morning. She would shower before she dropped off her kids, but she didn't do nearly the routine that she was doing before. So I think the rebellion comes from examining these beliefs that are shaping our behavior and choosing to do them or not do them take them with us or not take them with us. And that's everything.
David Hall [00:17:40]:
Yeah. So we were talking a little bit about confidence. How does someone gain confidence when they're lacking, especially to make these big changes?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:17:51]:
So confidence is an interesting thing. Confidence is built by self efficacy, which as a psychologist, you know that self efficacy is the belief that I can do what I set out to do. I have the skills to be able to do what I set out to do. And a lot of people don't even have that. They don't believe that they can do a thing. Right. So I think if you are lacking self efficacy, what you need to start with is something small. And I like to call these small acts of rebellion because I love rebellion.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:18:34]:
But it's these small things like saying no to something you don't want to go to or. You know one that happened to me the other day is I made a dinner for myself that I knew I would love and I, I know my husband doesn't like it very much, but I was craving it and I wanted it and I just did it and I just made the meal. I knew he wasn't going to like it instead of saying, oh, you know, I really feel like that but my husband doesn't like it, so I better make something else. And nope, you start with these small acts of honoring yourself, what you want, what you desire. And for, I think for many women, they've never done that in their entire, in their entire lives. It's always been someone else, it's always been someone else's needs that come first. And choosing yourself over and over in small ways will build that self trust, which in turn will build that self efficacy, which in turn builds that confidence. Right.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:19:33]:
Confidence is kind of the end of the line. You, you, you have a lot of self development and just kind of like small things to do to build that end of confidence, if that makes sense.
David Hall [00:19:46]:
Yeah. And you just spoke of self trust to tell us what that is.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:19:51]:
Yeah. So self trust is a deep and abiding understanding that you matter and that you're needs and desires matter and that you deserve to receive the things that you want. Right. And so the outward manifestation of self trust is, you know, not second guessing yourself and being confident in your decisions. And it can be quiet confidence. As introverts like we, we have kind of this quiet power about us, you know, but it can also be as simple as enjoying your own company. But it's showing up authentically as yourself for yourself consistently.
David Hall [00:20:33]:
Yeah. And how do we do that?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:20:37]:
Yeah, I think a lot of it is the small acts of rebellion, of course, but I think another component is keeping the promises that you make to yourself. If you are wanting to make a change, maybe be a healthier person, maybe get a new fitness routine, you promise yourself you're going to get up at 6 in the morning. When you get up at 6 in the morning, that's a vote for your self trust. That's showing yourself that you can show up for yourself. And over time these small things become a larger sense of like, yeah, I promised myself I was going to do this and, and I matter. I like to think about self trust as being analogous to relationship with a best friend. So let's say you, you have your best friend and you talk to her all the time, whatever, and there's a big thing that comes up, you ask her advice and she's like, well, here's what I think you should do. And you, you kind of, kind of consider that and you're like, yeah, okay, I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna do that.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:21:44]:
And you do this over and over and over again. That's what erodes self trust. Right? Is that just ignoring your own best judgment over and over again for the sake of someone else for the sake of what you think you should do, for the sake of another person's approval, et cetera. So it works both ways. Keeping the promises that you make for yourself will boost your self trust, but, you know, keep, keep failing to. To listen to your own intuition, and that will erode your self trust over time.
David Hall [00:22:18]:
Yeah. And how does seeking the approval of others get in our way?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:22:22]:
Yeah. I mean, bringing it back to that best friend analogy, it's like you ask your. Your best friend what you should do, and then someone else over here tells you their opinion, and you're like, okay, best friend. I know you've known me for my entire life, and you know me better than anyone, but this person over here, I'm gonna listen to them instead. It's the same mechanism, it's the same process of, of asking someone external to yourself what's best for you.
David Hall [00:22:52]:
Yeah, absolutely. And so you definitely talked about in your own story, you know, you were in. In a career that you really were burning out in, you know, and we find ourselves in those places. And that's probably a lot of the people that you work with that they were doing something that they thought they should be doing, but it really, you know, is leaving them feeling empty inside. Is. Is that the case for a lot of people where they have to like, hit that rock bottom moment to make these big changes?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:23:23]:
I will say most of my clients are either at rock bottom or they're like, they're, they're aiming for it. You know, they kind of want to get. Get help before they hit that rock bottom. I don't think you need to hit rock bottom to make a change at all.
David Hall [00:23:40]:
Okay.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:23:41]:
But I think you need to be more aware of how what you want and where you are are different. Right. I think a lot of people intentionally, because it's hard, because change is hard, they intentionally don't acknowledge that they're unhappy or that they wish they were doing something else or they wish something was different until something hits the fan and they have to deal with it at that point. And so I think part of my goal as a coach is to help those people who have hit that point and they really do need help kind of rebuilding. But I also want to reach those people who are dipping their toe into the idea that maybe things could be different for them and get to them before they travel this very depressing road toward burnout and being unhappy.
David Hall [00:24:39]:
Yeah. And how did you decide to be a coach yourself?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:24:43]:
This is an interesting story. I had a coach at the time that I was kind of undergoing all of this self discovery and, and whatnot. So I, I knew that they having a, a secondary perspective was hugely helpful. At the same time, I got very into budgeting and money management and helping women, specifically my friends and friends of friends. So I had like a little money coaching thing on the side and I loved it. It was, I would work 810 hour days at my day job and I would have, you know, two sessions at night with, with after work with people. And I would feel like I just, you know, I was so energized by this because it was the kind of work that was meaningful to me that I was, I was helping people make these realizations. And as I continued to do that and transitioned into that full time, I realized that people would come to me with money related things, but that was just a symptom of needing a larger change kind of sitting at the bottom of it.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:26:02]:
So once I realized that, I was like, okay, it's actually about the change and it's not so much about the money. So I kind of switched my, my coaching niche and now I really just focus on the change, which includes money. Oftentimes.
David Hall [00:26:17]:
Yeah. So tell us about the benefits of coaching. Obviously you benefited from it and now you know, you're a coach yourself. So why is coaching helpful for us?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:26:27]:
Oh, I could go on about this for days. I really could. I think getting the right coach is important, but once you do, this is the only time in your life for most people where you have someone who is 100% in the relationship for you. Right. For you. You get to be in a relationship with somebody who can hold up a mirror and be like, do you realize this is what you just said about yourself and about, you know, and that process of exploring yourself while someone else guides you through it is just utterly transformative. And it opens your eyes to possibilities that you never knew existed before. And you cannot do that when you are, you know, your friends can help.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:27:22]:
Yes. Your spouse can help. Yes. Your, your, your connections and your network. Yes, they can help. But they have their own lives, they have their own agendas and their own ways of operating, their own opinions. The coach is there for you. 100 for you.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:27:41]:
And their only goal is to see you succeed and what you bring to the coaching relationship.
David Hall [00:27:48]:
Yeah, I love that. Because even the best, the best people in our lives, it's not a hundred percent about us. And not that it always needs to be, but you know, to get, do that work. Yeah. Having someone completely focused on you can be amazing.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:28:03]:
Yeah. And I, I am personally not the kind of person who, who needs this kind of support a whole lot, but there's a huge accountability piece too. Showing up to a coach and, and having to say, you know, oh, I didn't, I didn't think about that last week like you, like you asked me to. Let's explore why that is. So there is that account accountability piece that for a lot of people is very helpful to kind of get over any, I don't know, you throw up things to get in your own way all the time and, and coaches, if they're good, they can see right through that and they can help you address them so that they're, that you're not standing in your own way anymore.
David Hall [00:28:43]:
Yeah, and to, to me, you know, we were talking about before I hit record that, you know, I, I used to lack confidence, I used to be shy. But for me it was getting to know my introversion that gave me all the confidence in the world. It's like, oh, this, these things are natural. These are gifts. You know, there's, there's no, I'm not going to change my introversion. And it could be about introversion for somebody or it could be just they're not living authentically, they're not living in their gifts. They're, you know, we've been talking about, they're trying to get approval from others. How do you learn? What, how do you help people become self aware of their gifts and to live authentically?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:29:29]:
I believe that when we are young, we're in direct communion with our gifts, with what interests us, with what we want to do, with who we want to be. And then as we grow older, we get all this external crap kind of put on top of us. Right? We have cultural expectations, we have gendered expectations, we have familial expectations, ways of being. And that because we're immature and we don't know how to question those things as they come into our lives, we just take them all on. And so there comes a point, I think, in every person's life where you, you feel the weight of all of this external nonsense. And you absolutely must go in, excavate everything, but in so doing, you uncover your kind of authenticity and who you actually are and who you want to be. And so I think that is the work that is so crucial to begin the process is to reconnect with that, that voice, that inner knowing that we all have. It's just underneath a bunch of other stuff that we may care about and we may not care about.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:30:46]:
Our job is to figure out what we want to keep and what we want to move past?
David Hall [00:30:52]:
Yeah. Could you think of any examples where someone was. Had some beliefs that were keeping them from living authentically?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:31:01]:
Oh, yeah. Let me see if I can think.
David Hall [00:31:03]:
Of a good one.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:31:05]:
A good friend of mine and client wanted to, secretly wanted to be an artist, always had, and was operating her whole life in artist adjacent fields. And she finally, after kind of working together, she realized that she held a belief that you can't ever make a good living from being an artist. And that had colored absolutely every decision that she'd made. But when she finally decided that she didn't care that she wanted to be an artist anyway, she let go of that old belief, which took time. I'm not saying you can just like, you know, do it in a day or whatever, but she gradually started to lean into this identity of being an artist, and she's doing it now. That's her full time gig. So I think things like that, you know, things like, I'm a professional, I have to have one job that pays all of my bills, or I have to have this level of education to be socially acceptable, or I have to make this amount of money. All those things are, are simply constraints that are limiting how you can live your life.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:32:22]:
Because the truth is you can choose to do things differently. And I think the choice is the big, big thing there.
David Hall [00:32:31]:
Yeah. So how can we help people figure out what their gifts are?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:32:37]:
Ooh, that's a good question. I think, I think a lot of it is it comes down to curiosity and excitement and discovery. Like, if you can get to a mental and emotional place, which requires work for a lot of people, that you can reconnect with that curiosity and that childlike discovery, then it comes easy. Then you can be like, ooh, this is fun, or ooh, I didn't, I didn't quite realize that I was, I was good at this and I quite like this. And so I think that is one way. And of course there are so many different ways to comment your gifts. And we were talking before about how, Lisa, I love assessments and you, you're qualified to, to administer the Myers Briggs and the Cliftonstrengths. That's another way to do it.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:33:29]:
But I think again, the strength of assessments like that is to give you insight into something that you may not have realized about yourself. And then from there you can take curiosity and interest and move forward with it.
David Hall [00:33:45]:
Yeah, assessments can be a really great way. And they're a tool, you know, they're not magic but it can give you some ideas, some things, it can confirm some things, or maybe give you things that you haven't thought of before.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:34:00]:
Yeah, I know. My husband took the. We took the CliftonStrengths at the same time, which I thought was fascinating. And one came up for him that was competition. I think his number one is competition. And the man is the most even keeled, like, chill person I've ever met. And his number one is competition. And I thought it was really interesting to both of us.
David Hall [00:34:25]:
Yeah. And so for those that don't know Clinton's strengths, there's 34 themes of talent, and it gives you your top five, because the premise is that you do best by working in your strengths and not trying to focus all your energy on fixing weaknesses. But it's funny because, like, the strengths can be manifested in so many different ways because, you know, competition is one of his strengths, but then he has others that work with that. And competition isn't in my top five, but it is in my top 10. And, you know, people probably don't always think of me as competitive, but I really am. I want to do. But I want to be the best. I want to do my best work.
David Hall [00:35:08]:
You know, I want my team to be the best. I want those in my family to be their best. And so I am very competitive. Just people wouldn't always think of me that way. And I'm. Sounds like it's something similar for your husband that, you know, he has a competitive side, but it, you know, people may not think that.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:35:26]:
Yeah. And I think it also speaks to different kind of facets or different roles, I guess, of a person's personality. I think in his work environment, this comes out a little bit more than in our home environment. But he's also a competitive triathlete, so.
David Hall [00:35:42]:
Oh, yeah, See, there you go. Yeah. You definitely don't do that unless you, you know, have a competitive streak in you.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:35:51]:
Exactly.
David Hall [00:35:52]:
Yeah. That's great. So these can be great tools. And, you know, I liked how you were talking about, you know, when we're younger, you know, we kind of are more in touch with who we are. I know for me, when I was younger, there was no talk of introversion, extroversion. You know, there was no understanding that I might have some different gifts. It was more of, here's this one way that everybody needs to do this thing. And, you know, I definitely had to overcome all that.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:36:25]:
Yeah. And I think at some point, probably someone told you that being this way, being, like, more extroverted in your behaviors was more valuable and more superior than this other way. Right. And there is that the correct way. And, you know, I think raising children now, if. If I could impart one thing on them, it's that there is no one right path ever. There is no one right way to do things. You know, and I think that sometimes contributes to this.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:36:59]:
At least I have in the past been guilty of kind of over researching in advance of a big change or something like that. Like, oh, I have to find the best way to do this. And, you know, I have to find the right way to do this. And I won't make any moves until I'm 100% certain that this is the right thing. And when you realize there isn't a certainty, there isn't a right thing, it frees you up so much to just move and collect data and make mistakes and change your mind. So if I had one thing to impart on my kids, it's. It's going to be that I think.
David Hall [00:37:35]:
Yeah. And, you know, part of my epiphany is I have three kids, and they're all very different. You know, we basically raised them the same, but they all have their unique gifts and they all have their own needs and capabilities and, and, and that was part of just understanding and kind of goes back to what I Learned from the CliftonStrengths. Our gifts come to us very naturally. And I saw that in my kids. You know, they're. They're not the same. They're all doing different things and, and they're thriving, and it's.
David Hall [00:38:07]:
It's. It's amazing. But they're not. They're definitely aren't. Don't all have the same gifts.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:38:12]:
Yeah. And I'm. I'm a mother of multiples, and I can tell you they are two very different human beings. They're born at the same time.
David Hall [00:38:21]:
Yeah. I was gonna say they're twins, right? Yeah.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:38:23]:
Yeah.
David Hall [00:38:23]:
And they're not the same. No.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:38:25]:
Oh, my gosh. No. In fact, when they were really, really little, people used to say, you know, obviously they look very similar when they're tiny babies, but now that a lot of people don't even realize that they're siblings because they just are so different. My son is very quiet and observant. My daughter is extremely outgoing and. But I think she's an introvert, actually, knowing what I know, she can be. Yeah, she. She'll do the, like, going out and, like, talking with people, and she'll talk with, you know, one person, and she'll be very into it.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:39:00]:
And then she'll look at me and she'll be like, mommy, I need some quiet time. So she's three. So if she knows that at three, I think hopefully, yeah, be ahead of the curve.
David Hall [00:39:11]:
That's awesome.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:39:12]:
Yeah.
David Hall [00:39:13]:
Meg, this has been a great conversation. I could talk with you all day. Is there anything that we didn't talk about yet?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:39:18]:
No, I don't, I don't think so. I think if, if anybody listening is kind of on the fence about, you know, making a change or wanting to be different, have some part of their life be different than what it is right now. Just take a, take a first step. Just move in one direction. You'll get more data and figure out what the next one is. You don't have to know everything right now.
David Hall [00:39:40]:
Awesome. So where can people find out more about you and the great work you do?
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:39:45]:
Oh, I'm very active on LinkedIn. I have an Instagram profile, Megtrucano, or you could find me on my website, megtrucano.com and of course I would love it if people would tune into Changeology to hear inspiring stories and expert led conversations on things that will help them along their own change journey.
David Hall [00:40:07]:
Awesome. And I will put all that into the show notes. Thanks again.
Dr. Meg Trucano [00:40:11]:
Thank you so much.
David Hall [00:40:14]:
Thank you so much for joining me. I appreciate you. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from other amazing guests. Remember, if you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there is now a free type finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report including the four letter Myers Briggs code. I'll add a link in the show notes and I'd love to connect with you. Reach out to daviduyanstrong.com or check out the quietandstrong.com website which includes blog posts and links to social media for quiet and strong and much more. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show.
David Hall [00:40:54]:
So many great things about being an introvert and so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.