Ep 277 - Building Deep Connections as an Introvert with Mark Marrott

How can introverts build meaningful connections in a world that often values constant interaction and small talk? 

In this episode of The Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall welcomes Mark Marrott, business builder, keynote speaker, and host of the Knee to Knee podcast, for an inspiring conversation about thriving as an introvert while forming deep, authentic relationships.

Listeners will discover:

• The powerful impact of genuine connection on well-being and resilience
• Strategies for introverts to create and maintain deeper relationships—at work and in life—without pretending to be someone they’re not
• How to embrace your introverted nature and use it to your advantage in public speaking, sales, and leadership
• Practical tips for moving beyond surface-level small talk and making conversations more meaningful
• Why recognizing your own needs, preparing in your own style, and taking simple actions—like sending a thoughtful message—can foster rewarding relationships

Whether you’re an introvert seeking tools for better connection or someone who wants to understand and support the introverts in your life, this episode will empower you with insights and encouragement. Learn how to use your quiet strengths, build relationships that matter, and be strong.

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/277

Mark Marrott has literally had to rebuild from the ground up. A 40-foot fall and years in a wheelchair reshaped how he leads and connects—turning big ideas like empathy, faith, and grit into everyday practices instead of just nice words. As a business builder, keynote speaker, and host of the KneeToKnee podcast, he sits down with executives, athletes, first responders, and everyday heroes to explore how real human connection drives resilience, belonging, and performance. He’s an introvert who’s spent a career in outward-facing roles, and he cares deeply about helping quieter leaders build authentic connections on their own terms—without pretending to be someone they’re not.

Connect with Mark: Website | Podcast

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Books mentioned in this episode: 

The Will to Win by Kurt Brinkman 

The Levity Effect by Scott Christopher 

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey (specifically referenced Habit 5: "Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood") 

Transcript

David Hall [00:00:00]:
So what's a big lesson about connection that you've learned from doing the podcast?

Mark Marrott [00:00:07]:
But I think the biggest thing that I've gained and I look at all of this, of all the great guests that we've had, every one of us wants some kind of connection and every one of us has a deep need to feel important and loved and feel connected with those around them. And they're not always getting that foreign.

David Hall [00:00:35]:
Welcome to episode 277 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host David hall and the

David Hall [00:00:41]:
creator of Quiet and strong dot com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to

David Hall [00:00:45]:
understanding the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform, leave a review or a rating that would mean a lot to me and help others find the show, Tell

David Hall [00:01:03]:
a friend about the podcast and help

David Hall [00:01:05]:
get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Mark Merritt has literally had to rebuild from the ground up. A 40 foot fall and years in a wheelchair reshaped how he leads and connects, turning big ideas like empathy, faith and grit into everyday practices instead of just nice words. As a business builder, keynote speaker and host of the Need a Knee podcast, he sits down with executives, athletes, first responders and everyday heroes to explore how real human connection drives resilience, belonging and performance. He's an introvert who spent a career in outward facing roles and he cares deeply about helping quieter leaders build authentic connections on their own terms without pretending to be something they're not.

David Hall [00:01:51]:
All right, well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast. Mark. Mark, it's so good to have you on today.

Mark Marrott [00:01:56]:
Excited to be here, man, definitely. I've been looking forward to this.

David Hall [00:01:59]:
Yeah, we're going to talk about the work you do, especially with your podcast. I had the opportunity to be a guest on that.

David Hall [00:02:05]:
So.

David Hall [00:02:05]:
Great podcast. You have some great guests. But let's hear a little bit more about you and your journey and you know the life changing event that you had.

Mark Marrott [00:02:15]:
Well, yeah, I would assume you're talking the life changing event was it happened 20 years ago was the accident that I had. And so I was involved in a really bad accident 20 years ago. Prior to that I was a wildland firefighter and I spent quite a few years as a firefighter and the reason I bring that up is because it ties into the accident. So my wife and I at the time lived in Pleasant Grove, Utah and we had some huge spruce trees right around our house. And my wife is. Does landscape design, landscape architect, master gardener, all that plant stuff. Right. She just loves.

Mark Marrott [00:02:50]:
And over time, I've grown to love as well. But we had these great big trees. She wasn't getting enough sunshine on what she wanted, and so she wanted a couple trees gone. And I called. I did what at first was the right thing. The right thing was to call a tree guy. And so I called. I did the right thing.

Mark Marrott [00:03:09]:
I got the bid. And having been a certified sawyer for the forest Service, a guy that runs chainsaw, I've cut hundreds of trees down fighting wildland fires. I looked at this guy's bid, and I thought, there's no way I'm paying this guy that much money for something I've done for years and I've done well. And, you know, and in reality, it was cut two trees down, leave the wood, not grind the stumps. And this. This was 20 years ago. And he was going to charge me 1500 bucks for. For the effort.

David Hall [00:03:43]:
Wow.

Mark Marrott [00:03:43]:
And I thought, that is just stupid. I'm not spending that much money. Well, I should have. Second tree. First tree was perfection. It went exactly like it was supposed to. Second tree. I was 40ft up.

Mark Marrott [00:03:56]:
Chainsaw damaged my harnessing, and it failed. And so I free fell 40ft to the ground, landed on my feet. Like, I jumped a little bit more on my left side. And so my left leg on my left arm and head injury and all that just is not the what you want to do on a Saturday morning. And so, yeah, to save fifteen hundred dollars, I spent. By the time it was all said and done, it took 13 surgeries to put Humpty Dumpty back together again. Well over a half a million dollars.

David Hall [00:04:29]:
Wow. Wow.

Mark Marrott [00:04:30]:
So the motto is. And my wife. And we say this tongue in cheek, but it's reality. Anytime there's something that I don't know how to do or she doesn't know how to do or whatever, we. It's now tagged as pay the tree guy because it's. There's always a professional out there, whether it's a safety or not, that can get it done faster than I can and, you know, and, yeah, be more efficient and cost less money than what we went through.

David Hall [00:04:57]:
Yeah, absolutely. Wow. That's such an incredible story. And how did you get through the recovery time?

Mark Marrott [00:05:04]:
Man, at first, it was really hard initially. You know, just like everything. The hard part was the change, the dramatic change. I've always been. Been. Been somewhat of an amateur athlete, competed all kinds of stuff throughout my life. And to go from that to all of a sudden laying in a hospital bed where you can't move, really move your legs. And my left arm actually laid limp at my side for about three weeks.

Mark Marrott [00:05:31]:
Couldn't move my fingers, couldn't move my hand, anything for weeks. And that was a struggle. And I think the biggest thing during that time period was my wife and my family being able to be there. My wife was there. It seemed like day in, day out, which is. Which was an amazing thing. And I had a lot of family and friends that came and visited. But when you're an introvert like I am, those short visits don't do a whole lot.

Mark Marrott [00:06:01]:
It's the deep visits. That's when my wife would slide the chair over next to the bed and we would have a conversation. I had an amazing orthopedic trauma surgeon. I feel sorry for everybody in northern Utah that ever gets into orthopedic trauma need. Now he is retired. He was at the time he was rated the number one orthopedic trauma guy in the region. And I happened to. He was on call the weekend of my accident.

Mark Marrott [00:06:27]:
And I say he was amazing because every time he would come into the room and he would. Which was daily, at least once, he always ended every visit the exact same way. And it was always, are there any. And I've memorized this. I heard it so many times. Are there any areas of questions or concerns that you have for me today that I can answer before I go? And he didn't just say that and walk out the door. He would say that sitting down next to the bed and he would wait for me to respond. It wasn't just a, you know, a drive by, was really wanting to know and.

Mark Marrott [00:07:02]:
And he was a big part in those early days of trying to get through some of that, getting me some of that help social workers, things like that, to help me process everything. But then some of those connections I made after I spent the first few months feeling pretty. Even though I had family and our kids and everything like that. We just really, really tight. And it was good to have that. I still felt there were part of me that felt alone because I was experiencing the physical and the emotional of what happened. My wife was experiencing the emotional. Right.

Mark Marrott [00:07:41]:
I mean, I sometimes I think it was harder on my wife than. Than the accident was on me because of all that that goes on from a psychological and emotional standpoint. But I didn't have anybody that understood or could empathize, they could sympathize I didn't have anybody that could empathize with what I was going through. I'm full time wheelchair boundaries. I can't really use my left arm by that point. Within a few weeks I could start and I get a little better. I still don't have full use of it 20 years later, but I was introduced to a guy that was in a wheelchair about five months after my accident. And his name was Kurt Brinkman.

Mark Marrott [00:08:20]:
And Kurt was, he had a book out years ago called the Will to Win. And he was, he was a Paralympian gold medalist. First guy to ever finish the Boston Marathon in an everyday wheelchair. There's old pictures of him on the Internet. It's like, holy cow, this guy's in this just everyday chair. Kurt was a double amputee. He was from Shelly, Idaho and was in a farming accident when he was 16 years old. And so I met him later in life after he was all done racing and everything, but sitting next to him basically knee to knee.

Mark Marrott [00:08:52]:
I jokingly call it need a stump because he was amputee, but basically right there together, he really helped me feel understood and helped me to be able to go, oh my gosh, there's someone that knows what I'm going through. So that was probably like four or five months after the accident. And then it was about five months because I've always been competitive. So five months after the accident, I was in my very first race in my everyday chair.

David Hall [00:09:19]:
Wow.

Mark Marrott [00:09:19]:
And I was like, I'm doing this. And so I met Kurt after that race. So.

David Hall [00:09:24]:
Yeah, how is that if one of your arms isn't working so well?

Mark Marrott [00:09:28]:
Well, you know, I mean, you do the best you can, otherwise you go in circles.

David Hall [00:09:31]:
Yeah, it's amazing.

Mark Marrott [00:09:34]:
And so, yeah, I, this, this, this left arm, I mean, I have some strength in it. There is, there is weakness in it, comparatively. When I got into racing hand cycles for years, I would every now and then have to stop and just shake this arm out because the whole arm would go to sleep. So I'd have to just wake my arm up in the middle of a race. You're just cruising along. All right, let me stop and shake my arm so I can my hands stop stingling and. Yeah, you just, you just adapt.

David Hall [00:10:01]:
Yeah. Thanks for sharing that story, Mark. It's. Yeah, it's incredible. So you talked about, already talked about being an introvert. You're a fellow introvert.

Mark Marrott [00:10:11]:
Yes.

David Hall [00:10:11]:
When did you figure that out?

Mark Marrott [00:10:14]:
I've known that for years. It was really. I, I'll share a funny story. With you. So on our podcast, Knee to Knee, we've done a couple of episodes on introverts. The first one was a how to for introverts, how to make connections when you're an introvert. And the next one was supporting your introvert spouse. So from the.

Mark Marrott [00:10:35]:
From the extrovert slash non introvert spouse, how do you support that introvert spouse in their journey as well so that you still have a healthy relationship? And I was very fortunate to have several psychotherapists. Every time I do all my research like that, I'm sending it out to a bunch of therapists I know and say, give me some feedback. But it was really funny. I was sitting down with my mother just before the supporting your introvert spouse episode came out, and my mother, I don't think she's ever watched an episode, and I'm okay with that. That's just not her. But she said, how's your podcast? She goes, how's that thing you're doing? I don't think she said podcast, right. I think it was just, how's that thing you're doing? I'm like, the podcast. She goes, yeah.

Mark Marrott [00:11:17]:
And I. And I mentioned to her, I said, I've got this episode. It's how to support your introvert spouse. And we've got this. And it seems that really, introversion is. It's come up more than once. And she goes, mark, come on. It's not like we all don't already know you're an introvert.

Mark Marrott [00:11:34]:
Just like, oh, great. Right? And so I am. I'm. I'm the brother out of all my brothers. I think I have four brothers. Introversion, to me, is a scale. It's a sliding scale. Right.

Mark Marrott [00:11:46]:
And I'm kind of what I would call a hybrid, where I can. I can easily put on my extrovert face and my hat and do what I need to. But then when I take that thing off, I'm like, okay, I'm done. Right. I've been a paid public speaker, been up on stage, had great events, but then I'm like, two days, leave me alone.

David Hall [00:12:07]:
Yeah.

David Hall [00:12:09]:
So, yeah, I mean, on this show, we definitely talk about all that. That you can do whatever you want to do. Yeah, I. I personally don't call it being an extrovert. You know, I'm just. I could do public speaking, and I am definitely a hardcore introvert, but I love it.

Mark Marrott [00:12:26]:
Right.

David Hall [00:12:26]:
But you have to manage your energy around all these things.

Mark Marrott [00:12:30]:
You do. You do. And. And I. And I get ready for my stuff very differently than Some of the people that I work with and I mentioned this, we talked about this on, on the episode when I had. I get ready for my speech is very different than a lot of my friends do where I will. If it's an hour long, I hand type out, just like we're talking right now, I hand type out an hour worth of speech and then I read it over and over and over and over and over until it finally sinks in enough that now I can just use bullets. But I'm not the guy that's going to get up there and with three or four bullets and do it.

Mark Marrott [00:13:03]:
I, we all have our own process and I think it's important that we identify with what that is for then for us to be able to move forward with whatever we're trying to do.

David Hall [00:13:13]:
Yeah, that's so key. And so I think we probably prepare in a similar way because we're introverts, but yet differently so. I'm not. If I have a speech, I'm not going to write it all out. I'm going to do my bullets, but I am going to think it all out. I'm gonna spend the time like what stories do I want to share, what points do I want to make? I will have my list, you know, my, my bullets. So it just, and that's the whole key. You got to figure out what works for you.

David Hall [00:13:41]:
Often you have to take your personality traits like introversion and there's many other traits that we all have but like introversion to figure out, you know, how am I going to be successful? Because I did do some presentations with an extroverted friend and she prepared so differently than I did. And again, not good or bad, just different.

Mark Marrott [00:14:02]:
Right. And there is, it's just, it's, it's just different from person to person. Definitely.

David Hall [00:14:06]:
Yeah. Yeah. Did you have to learn to embrace being an introvert?

Mark Marrott [00:14:09]:
I don't know if I had to learn to embrace it. I think I, I laugh because I'm thinking, I think I just succumbed to it. I realized this is who I, this is who I am, this is part of what I need. And I'm really. When I, when I most noticed that was when I started doing public speech.

David Hall [00:14:27]:
Yeah.

Mark Marrott [00:14:27]:
Because before that just having a little interaction here or there, that's. That, that was, I could manage that. But getting up on stage for an hour, hour and a half, the longest I've done is an entire eight hour workshop.

David Hall [00:14:40]:
Oh, wow.

Mark Marrott [00:14:41]:
And, and, but that one, yeah, I, I've, I've never been more exhausted and worn out. Than, than after. And I've done those eight hour workshops two or three times and they just, they just kill me. But I love it in the moment. But like I say, I think, I think I just succumb to the fact that this is what I am and this is who I am. And, and my wife is the one who recognized it first, that she really realized that. Okay, yeah, you need, you need, you need to, you just time out.

David Hall [00:15:17]:
Yeah, yeah, you can use some. Come. And I will, I will say embrace.

Mark Marrott [00:15:23]:
Yeah, yeah, either way. But yeah, yeah.

David Hall [00:15:25]:
And that's the thing. I, I've definitely done four hour workshops, not eight hour. And just like yourself, I love it. And you know, even with this podcast, I love it. I love talking with you. I don't have anything planned right after because I might need a little downtime. So.

Mark Marrott [00:15:43]:
Right. And that, and that happens. Right. We all do that. So I think, I think that's one of the things that we, you know, we talk about introversion. I mean, based off how introverts brain is wired from a neurological aspect. We just need, we need that time to. You express that really, really well in our podcast that we had you on talking about just how we, you know, the oxytocin is what the extrovert often lives off of.

Mark Marrott [00:16:11]:
And then, you know, what the introvert needs to recharge is a very different. But I think there's just all of us, like I say, there's that sliding scale and we find that area that best works for us.

David Hall [00:16:26]:
Yeah. And I think the sliding scale is more about how much we're tuning inward. And I also talk about, yeah, we need time to recharge, but I know you need a lot more alone time for other things. I need time to think, time to plan, time to get some work done sometimes. So we need time to use our brains. You know, we've been right. We have great gifts, great creative abilities, great imaginations and we need some space to use those sometimes.

Mark Marrott [00:16:57]:
Yeah, definitely the mark.

David Hall [00:16:59]:
You know, we bust myths on this show too. So what's an introvert myth you want to bust today?

Mark Marrott [00:17:05]:
What's an introvert myth I want to bust? Well, I think, I think the biggest thing that I've noticed in the studying that I've done and I've not done near as much as you have done, but we've just touched lightly in our podcast. But I think there's a lot of that. Introverts don't need people. They want to be by themselves, leave them alone. And I think that is a huge Myth, they may not need as many people, but they definitely need connections. In some of the studies that are out there, talk about somebody who is in extreme loneliness. Actually, that's very similar to someone who, if they have deep, extreme loneliness, then it's like smoking 15 cigarettes a day for your health is what studies are showing. And so I think for introverts, it's even more important to be able to have that one or two, three people that you're really tight with.

Mark Marrott [00:18:06]:
So I think the. The myth in my mind is they don't want to be around people, they don't need people, but they actually do. More so than an extrovert.

David Hall [00:18:16]:
Yeah. Yeah, but we want deeper connections, you know?

Mark Marrott [00:18:20]:
Definitely. Yeah.

David Hall [00:18:21]:
We don't. We don't want to stay in the shallow for too long. That's. I think that's the big difference. But there's very few people that don't want connection. That's. That's. And that's called something else.

David Hall [00:18:31]:
It's not. It's introversion. Introversion just means we're deep thinkers. And, you know, we. We may even like going to a loud party, but we might be done before somebody else, you know, and it just depends. It depends on who we're with, the connections we're making, you know? You know, my wife is a fellow introvert as well, and I don't get drained by her. I get energized by her.

Mark Marrott [00:18:57]:
Right.

David Hall [00:18:58]:
I hope we just celebrate our anniversary yesterday. I hope that she feels the same. But she might not say it exactly like that. I. I might. I might drain her from time to time. But anyway, so it just. It just depends.

David Hall [00:19:11]:
But it's such a great myth to bust because it's just not true. We need people. We love people. We have family, friends. We like to collaborate at work. All of that just. We might want things in different doses. And deep is probably the real kicker there.

David Hall [00:19:28]:
It's like we want deep connections. We don't want to stay in surface talk. And extroverts want deep connections, too, but they don't mind. They like all of it. They like the small talk and the deeper conversations where we really want to get to the deeper conversations quick. So, Mark, you talked about that. You've done public speaking, and again, there's just ways that introverts go about that. Also.

David Hall [00:19:55]:
You're in sales. Tell us about that. Like what. What are your strategies that may differ being in sales from an extroverted colleague?

Mark Marrott [00:20:03]:
Well, for me, and I had to learn this years ago, for me, it came from really Making certain that the person that I'm going to go see, it's, It's. It's not easy. And I recognize getting out there and going, doing things, getting started is the hardest part. And that's what I talk with my salespeople, that all the time, you just get started. But I experienced the same, okay, I gotta go. But once I'm there, my focus then becomes to really try and make a connection with this person that's in front of me. What they're saying and what they're doing at that moment. I want them to feel from me that they are the most important person to me at that very moment.

Mark Marrott [00:20:49]:
And if that's the case, if I'm really in that headspace and heart space, then all the. All the. The stereotypical introversion things kind of go away, because now I'm trying to connect with this person in front of me. Yeah, I love going into seeing new people, and I love. I'll look around their offices while we're chatting. I'll. Out of the corner of my eye, I'll be looking this way, in that way, and I can identify things that now I can help, we can have a conversation about so we can actually find some common ground and make that connection together. And so, you know, you do that several times a day.

Mark Marrott [00:21:24]:
It still doesn't mean that it doesn't wear you out, because I still get worn out by the end of the day if I have a whole bunch of calls that I'm going on with some of my folks. But for me, it's just making certain that that person in front of me is that important to me, that I want to understand them and that. That is what helps drive me. And that's what. That's what feeds into my. Into my soul, is like, oh, my gosh, I really got to know this person a little bit today. They're not one of my deep connections that I have two or three of that that I know are there, but it's. It's just a really enjoyable experience if I can approach it that way.

David Hall [00:22:03]:
Yeah. Awesome. And you know, our conversation so far, we got to start talking about your podcast because that's. The conversation is all about that connection. Tell us about your podcast. Need a knee again? I was a guest. You have had many great guests on Tell Us what. What drove you to start it?

Mark Marrott [00:22:22]:
Well, it was. It was kind of a journey, actually. We started the podcast. Oh. Coming up on a year and a half ago, and. And the idea behind it initially was I saw the importance of connections to our health, right down to our DNA, how our DNA has an effect on our health as well. And so we initially we started the podcast from a purely a science standpoint, because I'm fascinated with science. But as time went on our conversations, we noticed that they weren't staying in that purely science mode.

Mark Marrott [00:22:54]:
They were more going into how connections have an impact on our health, just overall. And so we rebranded it early mid last year called and we rebranded it Knee to Knee because I believe that is where those deepest connections happen. And when we're right there with someone, when you can feel the energy, because we all have energy about us and you feel that from somebody else and you can make that. Can you identify that person's eye color? I mean, you're looking at them that closely enough that you're looking at, trying to figure that out. And so we moved it into Knee to Knee. And so now a few months ago, we refocused it even tighter. And the focus, we started looking at the analytics of our channel and the vast majority of our viewership and listeners are men between the ages of 25 and 50, which is a wide range. So you start looking at how can I give a deliver something good for them? And the focus has become how men can actually in the transitions in their lives, because there's so many different transitions.

Mark Marrott [00:24:01]:
If I'm single and then I go to college, then I college, then I get married, then I'm married, then I have kids, then I have career, all these transitions means that something gets left behind and needs to get replaced with something. And so we talk about how men can navigate that and build those connections along the way. And so that's kind of where we're at. And we've had some great, great conversations which have been fun to have. Got to meet you and got to meet so many, so many, so many. Just amazing, amazing people over the last year and a half.

David Hall [00:24:31]:
Yeah, awesome. So it didn't start out being about connection.

Mark Marrott [00:24:36]:
It did, but it had to do more with the science side of it.

David Hall [00:24:40]:
Okay.

Mark Marrott [00:24:40]:
Than it did with the actual, the psychological, sociological, emotional. All that was just purely the science side.

David Hall [00:24:48]:
So what's a big lesson about connection that you've learned doing from doing the podcast?

Mark Marrott [00:24:56]:
I think the big, the big lesson, it's interesting. I gain so much when I get to go back and do the post production. And you and I were talking about this pre show today that sometimes is my favorite thing to do is the post production, going back through and listening again intently. But I think the biggest thing that I'VE gained. And I look at all of this, of all the great guests that we've had, every one of us wants some kind of connection. And every one of us has a deep need to feel important and loved and feel connected with those around them. And they're not always getting that. And so that, I think, is the biggest.

Mark Marrott [00:25:33]:
Was the biggest eye opener to me, which is what's kept us going is wanting to deliver some really good content to people with some great tools. And what can someone. We always ask the same question at the end of every episode. What is one thing that our listeners can do today to build deeper connections with those around them? The answers are all over the place, depending on who we're talking to. But every one of them has been really an amazing answer. And so I think what I notice mostly from the answers to that question is those of us that we need to take that time to. Even though. Even though we are needing connections.

Mark Marrott [00:26:14]:
Right. Even though I need that, if I pick up my phone and I can just send a text to somebody and say, hey, I'm thinking about you, I just want to make sure you know that, hey, this is what you mean to me. Send. And that allows me to feel a little connected to that person. But it's amazing. The result that comes back that I've seen that my need for connection all of a sudden is not just now listen. Met. Because I get texts and phone calls back.

Mark Marrott [00:26:41]:
I had a call from some guy. We spent an hour and a half on the phone together after I sent him a text like that, because. And he was like, did you really just text me to say, hey, I'm thinking about you. Hope everything's going okay. Yeah, because I am. I'm thinking about you. I hope everything's okay. Right.

Mark Marrott [00:26:58]:
And. And we spent an hour and a half visiting, and it was a great conversation. And so I think the biggest lesson is that we all desire and need connections in our lives. More so than I even thought of when we started the whole podcast.

David Hall [00:27:14]:
Yeah. So doing things like that, sending a text, does that come natural to you, or is it something that you've had to work on?

Mark Marrott [00:27:24]:
No, it's something I had to work on. And actually, because of that question we ask at the end of our podcast, that actually came from out of that, two or three guests say that. One of my guests, his name was Scott Christopher, and he's been. Let's see, he was on the TV show ncis and he's been on TV and movies and all kinds of stuff. And I felt awesome. We had him on, but he wrote a book called the Levity Effect. And so that's why I wanted him on, because he talks about having levity at work and having some. Finding some happiness and joy in that aspect.

Mark Marrott [00:27:54]:
And at the end of our. When I asked him that question, his response was to not just send a text. His response was, you're going to send a voice text so they hear your voice. Right. But you're going to say this. You know, David, I just have to tell you, you know, I was thinking about you today and I wanted to remember. Do you remember that time when we had this experience and you go through and tell this whole story about why you're grateful for that person? Right. And yeah, I know you know this story, David.

Mark Marrott [00:28:22]:
Right, because they lived it with you. Right. But they're hearing it from you and why you're grateful. And so. And then hit Send. And then another guest says, the moment you think of someone's name, send them a text. And so I drive in my car a lot and I'll be driving down the road and all of a sudden I'm like, you know, I haven't talked to Norm for a while. Hey, Siri, send Norm a text.

Mark Marrott [00:28:43]:
And then I, then I just chat it off and send it off to him. And sometimes I don't hear back. Sometimes I've actually had friends who we've kind of not intentionally parted ways, but time has drifted. Then all of a sudden they've come a little bit closer back because of those little things like that. So, no, it didn't come naturally. It takes some effort to think and remember because I can just run down the road in my own lane and

David Hall [00:29:10]:
forget that stuff and be happy and be just fine.

Mark Marrott [00:29:16]:
At least for now, right? At least for now. Because we all cram, crave that at one point.

David Hall [00:29:23]:
Yeah, we need connection. And you know, I, I ask you that because it doesn't come natural to me either. But as of late, I, I just look for ways I can do something more. You know, maybe it is texting somebody or going out of my way to say hello to somebody. You know, it's, it's those kinds of things. And you know what? I just got a voicemail on, on LinkedIn, and it was, it was night. Because you just mentioned that it was nice to get a voicemail and hear the person's voice. You know, that's not something I'm usually probably just, if I'm messaging on LinkedIn, I'm just gonna type something out.

David Hall [00:29:57]:
But it was nice to Hear.

Mark Marrott [00:29:58]:
Yeah. I had someone, ironically someone do the same thing the other day to him. And all of a sudden I was like, oh my gosh, they sent a voice. I didn't know you could do that on LinkedIn. So I sent a voice message back to. It was kind of fun.

David Hall [00:30:09]:
Yeah, very cool. So what kinds of things are getting in our way of making good, deep connections?

Mark Marrott [00:30:17]:
Ourselves, I think, I think with, you know, I mean, we all have, every one of us. I, I can call every one of my brothers and I love the guys. How you doing? I'm busy. I have one brother to say I'm busier than a one arm paper hanger as his normal response. And. But we're all busy. We all, we all get caught up in life and everything's going on and, and it's when we get to those quiet moments, overly quiet moments, that we can actually look back and see. So I think often, what's the number one thing that gets in my way is me.

Mark Marrott [00:30:53]:
Because I'm just. What's the number one thing that keeps me away from the gym? Me. Right. What's the number one thing that keeps me from eating like I should be eating me. So, I mean, we are our own best friend and worst enemy at the same time.

David Hall [00:31:11]:
Yeah. So you have all brothers, no sisters?

Mark Marrott [00:31:15]:
Yeah, actually, in our, in our family we did, I think it was 32 years with no girls getting born in the family.

David Hall [00:31:23]:
And this, this question isn't necessarily about your brothers, but, you know, how do we make connections? Because that's something that I've learned, that we come with our own personalities, you know.

Mark Marrott [00:31:34]:
Right.

David Hall [00:31:35]:
I come from a family of nine kids. I have three kids. Everybody's different naturally.

Mark Marrott [00:31:41]:
Right.

David Hall [00:31:42]:
So how do we make connections with people that are different than us?

Mark Marrott [00:31:45]:
Wow. I tell you, there's a couple things I think of. First off, if some. It all depends on where they're in that. And I know you don't like the sliding scale, but where they're at on the sliding scale, if someone's really far over their extrovert man, what it takes me is a ton of patience because often individuals that are that far over sometimes speak to be heard. Where I think to speak at least most of the time.

David Hall [00:32:12]:
Right.

Mark Marrott [00:32:13]:
Most of the time I do that.

David Hall [00:32:15]:
Yeah. Yeah.

Mark Marrott [00:32:16]:
I've been accused, I've been accused to say, I was like, ah, you need to stop.

David Hall [00:32:20]:
Yeah. But yeah, most of the time that's, that's important to say. Most of the time.

Mark Marrott [00:32:24]:
Yeah. Yeah. And so, so for me, as. And I look at this from all. From my brothers. Every one of my brothers is entirely different.

David Hall [00:32:30]:
Yeah.

Mark Marrott [00:32:31]:
I mean, I have. There's five of us guys and. And there's only one that I'm kind of similar to. He and I here and I are pretty close, but the other guys, even then, we're all so, so vastly different. The one that I'm most like, he's way more extrovert than I am.

David Hall [00:32:48]:
Yeah.

Mark Marrott [00:32:49]:
You know, we've been on fishing trips for days together as our guys. We have. We call it fishing guys. And once a year we get together and go on a fishing trip. And after a couple of days, I'm just like. And so even around my own family, I have that limit. So how do we make those connections and things? I think with others. I think a lot of it has to come down to us.

Mark Marrott [00:33:16]:
We need to exercise, and this is hard part. This is the most difficult thing for me, is exercising patience with myself and with others because we are so different. And if I recognize that that person. That person needs connections too. If I can see past all the. Whatever is out there and what color their eyes, find out what's deep with them, then I can. It's easy to look past some of those things that are those differences in my mind.

David Hall [00:33:42]:
Yeah, absolutely. And as we were talking about earlier, you know, we don't like to stay in the shallow, typically. Did you have to learn to get better at small talk? And do you have any tricks for it?

Mark Marrott [00:33:55]:
I think yes, I did in some ways. Some ways. Sometimes it's pretty easy for me. That's part. That's not. Hasn't always been very, really hard. But I think what I've had to practice when it comes to small talk is I've never been one that's like, how are you doing? What did you do this weekend? Do you have plans this weekend? Those are part of it. But how.

Mark Marrott [00:34:19]:
How I get past to. To those things, I. I want to be able to have a little bit more than that. I was on a sales call with one of our salespeople the other day, and. And. And this sales guy's an amazing guy, but he. When he's in there, he's all business. And I'm sitting there just kind of looking around the room, and I realized that this particular person has some really, really cool quirkiness about them.

Mark Marrott [00:34:43]:
Right. And when I say. And that was part of, like, okay, there's some really cool. This. This. There's a side of this person's personality that. That we're missing. And so I Intentionally said, hey, tell me about this.

Mark Marrott [00:34:56]:
And they full on lit up. And so if I can find something to that I. That I can see that's important to that person, like, tell me about this. And next thing you know, she was just telling me all about it. Oh, I see you have up on your board, seek first to understand, then be understood, which was habit number seven of Stephen Covey stuff. And. And I went, oh, yeah. My wife was on his personal staff.

Mark Marrott [00:35:20]:
She's like, no way. So you find those things that make a little bit of a connection, then the small talk is just natural. It doesn't feel forced. What did you do this weekend? Did you have fun? Did you do. We all have. That's. That to me is superfluous nonsense small talk. Unless I'm past that.

David Hall [00:35:42]:
Yeah. So we've talked about a lot of great things. Mark, is there anything else you want to say about making connections?

Mark Marrott [00:35:49]:
Your.

David Hall [00:35:50]:
Your podcast?

Mark Marrott [00:35:51]:
Well, is there anything else I want to say? I think there. There's a different love there. There's different types of connections that we can make. The types of connections that we can make. I mean, there. There's. There's the physical, there's the. There's the career stuff, there's the.

Mark Marrott [00:36:06]:
There' stuff where we're just doing stuff with the guys. But I think more often than not, there. There's a mindfulness and a relationship side of connections that I think really drives deep. And I think if we can find those opportunities to build those types of connections, each one of those, whether it's. Whether it's the physical, the career or the guy stuff, all of those build upon this other side. But there's a spiritual side of that mindfulness relationship that goes way deeper than any than all of those that come in. And I think it's important that we work on those aspects more than. More than any of the others in my mind.

David Hall [00:36:51]:
Yeah. All right, it's your turn. As you always ask on your podcast, what is one thing our listeners can do to build deeper connections with those around them? Yeah, it's your turn to answer.

Mark Marrott [00:37:06]:
I will not answer. Like I had a guy asked me when I asked the question the other day. I won't give his answer. Okay, you'll have to go. You'll have to go and check out the episode with Brad Zieman and watch his answer at the end.

David Hall [00:37:17]:
Okay.

Mark Marrott [00:37:17]:
And that was one that came out a couple of weeks ago. I was thoroughly embarrassed by his answer. But I will tell you that what is one thing, the one thing I think that that, that someone can do to build deeper connections is to take the time, the moments, just the moments, even just asking someone's name. We don't always know that. At my hotel, where I'm at right now, the young lady at the front desk. Yes, you can go use this room. What is your name? Oh, my name's Crystal. And just like that, all the walls melted.

Mark Marrott [00:37:55]:
If we ask honest, deep questions when there's walls up in front of us, if we can ask and start asking some questions that we really want to know, those answers to those walls will come down and then you can see who that person is on the other side. The home improvement neighbor, right?

David Hall [00:38:13]:
Yeah, Wilson.

Mark Marrott [00:38:15]:
That's right, Wilson. Right. And so if you ask questions and you really want to know that person, person will know and they will sense that you are truly, deeply wanting to know, then that fence, that wall will come down a little bit and you can actually begin to see that person for who God actually made them to be.

David Hall [00:38:34]:
Awesome. Well said, Mark. All right, so of course, where could people find out more about you and your podcast?

Mark Marrott [00:38:41]:
Well, we're, we're everywhere on the podcast world. So if you go to knee to knee, so it's K N E E T o. So knee to knee. We're on YouTube, all the different audio versions as well. And we actually have a book coming out. I've just finished writing a book. We're in the final stages of, of editing, I was about to say. And so we're at that edit stage ready to do the, the book art, those kind of things.

Mark Marrott [00:39:06]:
And hopefully end of June we'll have that one ready to start coming out.

David Hall [00:39:09]:
All right, I look forward to it.

Mark Marrott [00:39:12]:
So.

David Hall [00:39:13]:
All right, thanks again.

Mark Marrott [00:39:15]:
Thank you very much and appreciate you having me on.

David Hall [00:39:18]:
Thank you so much for joining me. I appreciate you. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from other amazing guests. Remember, if you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there is now a free typefinder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report including the four letter Myers Briggs code. I'll add a link in the show notes and I'd love to connect with you. Reach out to daviduyanstrong.com or check out the quietandstrong.com website which includes blog posts and links to social media for quiet and strong and much more. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show.

David Hall [00:39:58]:
So many great things about being an introvert and so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.