Ep 280 - People-First Leadership, Especially for Introverts with Erin Treacy

Have you ever wondered what truly makes a great leader—and how introverts can harness their unique strengths to lead with clarity, confidence, and authenticity? In this episode of The Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall sits down with leadership coach and business owner Erin Treacy to explore the power of people-first leadership, resilient decision-making, and the gift of deep introspection that introverts bring to the table.

Whether you’re an introvert looking to embrace your leadership potential or a leader who wants to create a healthier, more people-focused work culture, this episode is packed with actionable insights and inspiring stories. Tune in to learn how real leadership starts from within—and be strong.

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/280

Erin Treacy is a leadership coach, consultant, and business owner who works with professionals, managers, and business owners who want to lead with more clarity, confidence, and authenticity. With a background in broadcast news, entrepreneurship, and people-first leadership development, Erin understands how much pressure people can feel to be louder, faster, or more outgoing to be seen as effective. Her work centers on practical communication, self-awareness, and steady leadership rooted in who people really are.

Connect with Erin: Website | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Substack | TikTok

Transcript

Erin Treacy [00:00:00]:
What's kind of that nice part is because you have all those skills as that introverted observer, you've probably processed all of the errors that you've made in all of the different things so that you're making the really wise decision because you've already processed all of those things. You did that scorecard of what we did wrong last time. What did I learn? What do I take with me? That's kind of how as an introvert, our brain works in the moment so that when those things happen, we already have that scorecard of, you know, the do or don't list, or you know, work, not work, or however. You know, a lot of people that they're are kind of making the list of how do we make the plan? You've already kind of plotted that out because you've learned from those things because you took the time in those moments and not in the emergency moment. So you've already got a reasonable wise plan you can make.

David Hall [00:01:01]:
Hello and welcome to episode 280 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David hall and the creator of quietandstrong.com. this is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts along with strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix, but to be embraced. Normally we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform, leave a review or a rating that would mean a lot to me and also help others find the show. Tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. Aaron Tracy is a leadership coach, consultant and business owner who works with professionals, managers and business owners who want to lead with more clarity, confidence and authenticity.

David Hall [00:01:47]:
With a background in broadcast news, entrepreneurship and people first leadership development, Aaron understands how much pressure people can feel to be louder, faster or more outgoing to be seen as effective. Her work centers on practical communication, self awareness and steady leadership rooted in who people really are. All right, well, welcome to the Quiet and Strong podcast. Erin. Aaron, so good to have you on today.

Erin Treacy [00:02:15]:
Thank you for having me, David. I'm excited to be here and enjoy a real conversation about some of the fun things happening.

David Hall [00:02:23]:
Absolutely. So we're going to get into the great work that you do. First, of course, tell us about yourself and your journey to the work that you do.

Erin Treacy [00:02:32]:
So I am a small business owner. I've been a small business owner. I owned with my family restaurants for about a decade and then worked in a lot of different nonprofit world. I'VE worked in news for a long time. One of the things that I've kind of learned through all of those years is that leadership and how to show up and how to support people. And one of the things that really came out of the restaurant was, was so many people have never been taught how to lead or how to have really important conversations and how to do it not with the leadership hat and the leadership suit, but those real important things that actually make you want to follow a leader and really be inspired by them. And so that's been really important for me and kind of how I got into my coaching now to be able to talk about those things but also talk about them in a way so that we, we aren't stretching ourselves thin as the leader, you know, for giving to everybody else. I went through a, a world of pain because of burnout because I was giving to all of those people around me, but not really taking care of myself.

Erin Treacy [00:03:37]:
So there is a balance in those two things and we need to be aware of them and we need to be talking about them.

David Hall [00:03:43]:
Yeah, yeah, we are going to dive into all of that deeper for sure. You, you were on the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. So tell us, when did you figure out you were an introvert?

Erin Treacy [00:03:54]:
So I am. It was a weird imbalance for me. It was, people assume from the outside I'm very extroverted because I can stand in front of a room and talk to a whole lot of people and I don't think a lot about that. It's when you're in a room of a few people in those networking moments and then how do, how do you work into a group of people? How do you not feel super awkward in those, in those spaces? I can sit and you and I can have a great one on one conversation and really kind of do that in a, in a real kind of way that is fun and is exciting. It's those middle groups that makes me nervous. I was just in a, I went to a conference and you know, I'm pretty good. I at least know somebody in the room. I may not know no to them, but like if I saw your face from across the room, it'd be like, okay, there's David.

Erin Treacy [00:04:50]:
I can find David in this room of 150 people at the opening, welcome, networking, whatever. And I walked into a room of these 150 people and I didn't know soul. I didn't recognize a face. And so that introvert really kind of took over. And how do you go in like, where do you go and who do you talk to and, and what's not completely awkward and it's terrifying. Like, my knees were shaking. I texted my husband, like, I need you to call. Because if I call you and hold the phone to my ear waiting for you to answer, it's going to make more attention and like, you feel like that spotlight is on you.

Erin Treacy [00:05:32]:
And I was terrified and completely unable to talk, which is one of those things that thought, you know, you asked me to stand at the stage and speak, cool, I'll wing it. But in those moments, that becomes way more difficult and you lose that self confidence. And so it's finding those balances in those. But I don't think I really understood them. And as an introverted kind of mindset or, or way, because it's not really a mindset. It's. It's ingrained in you. Right.

Erin Treacy [00:06:02]:
Like, it's. I can't help it. I can't just change my mind and not extrovert or not introvert, become an extrovert. So those, those are really hard moments as we try to figure out what to do. Because sometimes we have to do them.

David Hall [00:06:21]:
Yeah, yeah. And that's why we do this show. Because like you said, we're deep thinkers. It's automatic. And why sometimes we struggle with those networking events is because we aren't always good at thinking on our feet. We need to prepare. Even if we, even if we are not struggling with the small talk, sometimes we don't even want to have it. We want to get to the deeper stuff.

David Hall [00:06:49]:
We want to, you know, we don't want to stay on the surface too long. So, yeah, there's, there's, that's, that's why I do the show, because there's a lot of things that we can do because we're deep thinkers. It's a gift. It's absolutely a gift. But if you don't understand it, there could be struggles there.

Erin Treacy [00:07:06]:
So. Yeah.

David Hall [00:07:08]:
So, Aaron, you, you mentioned briefly, you know, you've had many different experiences. What are some of the greatest leadership lessons you've learned throughout your experiences?

Erin Treacy [00:07:18]:
I think the greatest lessons were it's not who is the loudest or who is, you know, the one that's beating their chest. It is the person intentionally. Like when I look at a room of a team in a business that I go visit or that I see I'm watching for the person who everybody else goes to, not the guy in the corner office or the lady in the corner office. It's who are they who does the team go to for answer? Because that's the leader in the room. They don't necessarily have a title. They don't necessarily have any authority. Right. We assume leadership equals authority.

Erin Treacy [00:08:02]:
But natural leadership is not that. It's the ability to connect with other people when they have questions and understand how to get each of the people on the team to be moving in the same kind of way. So it's looking for those people. Those are the best leaders in the room. And that's what leadership also taught me about it. It's not loud, it's not strong. It's not all of the ideas. It's who does everybody go to? And it's usually the quieter person, but it's the person who observed in the whatever number of days or weeks or hours it took to get there, they've been watching.

Erin Treacy [00:08:45]:
And they quietly learned different parts of the job. They quietly learned all of the people in the organization, so. So they know how to solve problems and how to communicate effectively to all of those people with what they needed in that moment.

David Hall [00:08:58]:
Yeah. And we regularly bust myths on this show, and I think you just busted one. It's not the loudest person in the room. And it is an introverted gift to think, reflect often notice what everybody else isn't noticing. And so, you know, can be a great gift for introverts to be able to notice those things. And that's what we need to change the world, is noticing the things that. That aren't going well, that, and. And also in that thinking, come up with some innovative solutions.

Erin Treacy [00:09:37]:
Well, and that person usually already has them. That's why those people went to them. They've already solved the problem before you even knew to ask the question. Right. They've already fixed it because they saw what was happening and they could. They saw down the road. Like you said, we tend to plan and we. We see what the path looks like.

Erin Treacy [00:10:01]:
Well, because we sat back and watched how it all integrates. That's how we can solve the problem. We saw the speed trap, you know, 10 miles up the road where others are slamming on their brakes on the interstate, because all of a sudden the. The cops right there ready to get us. Usually those folks are. They're like, no, no, it's up there. I promised you. It's like that little Google thing, you know, when you're following your Google Maps or whatever, and it's like, it's coming and you're like, no, it's not.

Erin Treacy [00:10:28]:
It's really not. Oh, wait, there it is. You know, the introverted leader is that person telling you that speed traps up there. Trust me, it's there. I know it.

David Hall [00:10:38]:
Yeah. And you're also saying sounds like that it's not necessarily about your title either

Erin Treacy [00:10:45]:
it has nothing to do with your title because again, leadership doesn't equal authority. Just because you don't have, you know, an Alphabet soup after your name or you don't have the title that's been bestowed on you. People tend to not care as much on the the title. They care about who has the answer to the question and doesn't make them feel stupid for asking it. Right. And that's who I want to go and ask why I talk a lot about, you know, go find the person in the room that can tell you why because that's the person who knows the real answer to whatever your question is. The introvert has both the capacity and the observation to explain the why and to be able to problem solve it. So it has nothing to do with title Leader is, is that that emotionally intelligent, capacity driven person that can solve the problem because the people in the organization know that's their person, not because they stood at the top of the room and, and yelled or you know, commanded or, or titled or took credit.

Erin Treacy [00:12:04]:
Like oftentimes that introvert's not going to take credit. They're going to sit back and be quiet when they really are the person who deserved it and it's somebody else who's up and be like my team did. You weren't even in the room.

David Hall [00:12:17]:
Right.

Erin Treacy [00:12:18]:
And your team knows it. But you know, that's the hard part of being the introvert too. It's really hard to speak up in those moments when you really need to be like, no, no, I'm the one who got us through that. Whatever the situation was.

David Hall [00:12:33]:
Yeah. What are some other qualities of a great leader?

Erin Treacy [00:12:36]:
I think some of the best qualities, again, it goes back to that, that understanding. I think great leadership know that they need to learn. I may have founded a company, right. And so I used to do the accounting in my company, but I don't do it anymore. The company's grown. Somebody else does that. So you as a great leader goes, well, I know I did accounting five years ago when I founded the company, but it's not the same thing now as it used to be. So maybe I need to go back and have those conversations and relearn some of the accounting things that have changed.

Erin Treacy [00:13:12]:
What's the different platform options and like I need to still learn to listen to other people. They're closer to whatever the situation is than you are now because you've worked your way up or grown your business or taken a different role. So it's. I'm always willing to learn. I'm always willing to hear other people because I'm not the smartest person in the room. I want the best idea. I actually just heard, let's, you know, turn to a fun one. Taylor Swift just talked about this recently in an interview.

Erin Treacy [00:13:45]:
She was talking about how she wants a team of people who will tell her no or say, here's the other 10 ideas that we have. And you know, being if Taylor Swift is looking around the room for other ideas, we should probably be looking around the room. That's a sign of a good leader is I know I don't have the best idea. Here's the idea. Here's what I think will work. All of the people here have some vested interest or know the skills better of what it takes to actually pull that off. That can say, this is the reality, this is what will work. This may be what's better.

David Hall [00:14:22]:
Yeah. And you talk about people first leadership. What is that?

Erin Treacy [00:14:28]:
So I, I came up in a family business and really what we now label as servant leadership. And servant leadership is great, and it's what I followed and what I have kind of naturally was raised under in a family business, but kind of have taken on as my own. But what servant leadership really did for me was it made the importance on everybody else. So I stopped paying attention to myself. So it doesn't allow the leader to say, no, no, I need to put this down. Someone else needs to take the reins. I don't need to always be saying, I'll take care of this. You need a day off.

Erin Treacy [00:15:07]:
Because they do need a day off, but so do you. And so if we kind of shift the mindset to a people first leadership, you get to be included in that group. You also need to be taken care of. As much as you take care of the team, the team also needs to take care of you some days, just like you take care of them. And by focusing on all of the people inside of an organization which includes you, we now are growing together. Instead of the pot of people that are at your business and then you, we need to put that in one group. And by growing people that include you in your business, in your family, all of those things start to come up together. And it really makes a huge difference because now we're caring for each other.

Erin Treacy [00:15:53]:
We're all people.

David Hall [00:15:54]:
Yeah, I love that. And then you also talk about resilient leadership. Tell us a little bit more about that

Erin Treacy [00:16:04]:
Resilient leadership. We all have to problem solve. We all have to work through hard, different things, whatever level. So resilient leadership really needs to be able to show the team, yes, there was a problem, yes, we solved it, take the ownership of it, but also show how we got up and kept moving. But they need to learn that, hey, this is what we did. This is what the issue was. This is where I messed up. Because we have to be able to own up to, I messed up, the team messed up, whatever that is.

Erin Treacy [00:16:37]:
But here's how we overcame it. And as we do that as a team, we again start to grow all of those people into understanding how we did it so that we're now empowering them to have all of those critical thinking skills we want and come up from it. But we have to celebrate the being resilient, the coming up from the other. The other side and going, this is how we learned. We learn when we fail. We. Winning is easy, failure is harder, but it's how we come up from it.

David Hall [00:17:07]:
Yeah. Yeah, definitely. Most people are pretty adverse to failure, but I, I know that usually you don't have success without it.

Erin Treacy [00:17:18]:
You. You don't have success without it. And we do have a really serious problem right now. We're. We're teaching our kids as parents in a lot of ways that. Not that that winning is everything and winning is great. Look, I'm a highly competitive person. I will compete with you on just about anything if the, you know, situation.

Erin Treacy [00:17:40]:
I will find a way. I've made Christmas competitive. In our house, we have a Christmas Olympics. That's how our kids, they're. They're grown, they're adults, but we don't have grandkids at this point. So it was a way to be competitive, but have fun. And my kids went, yep, of course she did, like, totally on brand for her. But I will make anything competitive.

Erin Treacy [00:18:00]:
So the thought of the competition, if you don't win or you not the starter, it's not work harder. It's not figure out how to be better. It's complain or take your ball and go home. And that's. It's not helping any of this situation because it's not teaching us how to be resilient. We don't know how to get up when we get knocked down. And, and when your kid's 30 and they're knocked down, they don't know how to get up because you didn't allow them to all of those years. They're in a way bigger hole at 30, not understanding how to do that.

Erin Treacy [00:18:42]:
It had been a lot easier to learn it at 13. Right. It would have been way easier at 13 for them to learn it because it would have been in a much smaller, much less expensive, much less long term detrimental thing. We have to learn to fall and get back up. Those are the lessons because now we again, you know where the speed bump is. You know what to do when it comes. When the hurdle comes to you, you, you have to learn to get up.

David Hall [00:19:14]:
Yeah, yeah. And like we're saying, it's, it's just a part of the process. You know, struggle is going to come to everybody and different trials are going to come to everybody, but it's part of being successful. I think sometimes it's even just that, you know, we've gone through and gone through to the other side and maybe someone that's younger hasn't had that experience yet where they overcome something and, and, and found some success on the other side.

Erin Treacy [00:19:45]:
I mean, I don't think you would have it. Think of all of like, you know, it's really easy to make athlete kind of comparisons. But think of all of the great athletes, like Michael Jordan failed to win NBA title in a final. You have athletes like Kobe Bryant, like Nick Saban, famous West Virginian, West Virginia girl. So I'll point out Nick Saban. I mean he's won more national championships than a lot of people. And some will compare. Is he the goat? Is he not? I don't know.

Erin Treacy [00:20:11]:
Other people can, can swing that. But he lost games, right? Like, no, there isn't anybody who made it to any level of success that didn't lose a game or get fired or whatever. Like that's how we learn because we figured out what we did wrong so we get better. Well, if you never have to reason through, what do I need to learn from that thing and what do I do to get better? How do you know when it comes up again? You didn't take anything away.

David Hall [00:20:51]:
Yeah, yeah, for sure. So you were talking about, you know, introverts gift to reflect, to notice. How have you learned to give yourself space to think in, you know, busy environments? How important is that?

Erin Treacy [00:21:07]:
You know, we have to be able to kind of the eye of the hurricane when something's going on. Find that quiet like okay, wait, everybody stop for a second. I need to pause, I need to process what. But being able to know yourself enough and for the people around you to know you well enough and say okay, Aaron just said she needs a pause like that. That's a big deal because Aaron doesn't usually say that, you know, I usually get through. So if I'm at. We need to stop. And real quickly while we're.

Erin Treacy [00:21:40]:
Before it gets too out of hand, this is the new framework of what we're going to work through, whatever that problem is, and being able to kind of say that and have the peaceful moment to go, I need two seconds of this thing. I worked in news for a lot of years, and so I was the person when the world literally blew up in wherever I was that I was the person everybody turned around and went, so what do we do? Who's doing what? Where are we going? Like, who's covering which part of the story? So you have all of those eyeballs on you from the entire news team. So you have to be able to, okay, stop this. These are the people who are going to do this assignment. These are the people who are going to do this assignment and kind of work those things out so that you can come up with your own plan and then follow it and then be willing to throw that back out the window because things will continue to change. But it's being wise enough in yourself to. To take the pause and know that you're going to be far better off here in 10 seconds. And the team now knows you well enough too, to go, give her 10 seconds, give her 20 seconds.

Erin Treacy [00:22:53]:
She'll turn around and tell us when. And that's what's kind of that nice part, is because you have all those skills as that introverted observer, you've probably processed all of the errors that you've made in all of the different things so that you're making the really wise decision because you've already processed all of those things. You did that scorecard of what we did wrong last time. What did I learn? What do I take with me? That's kind of how, as an introvert, our brain works in the moment so that when those things happen, we already have that scorecard of, you know, the do or don't list, or, you know, work, not work, or however. You know, a lot of people that are kind of making the list of how do we make the plan? You've already kind of plotted that out because you've learned from those things because you took the time in those moments and not in the emergency moment. So you've already got a reasonable, wise plan you can make.

David Hall [00:23:49]:
Yeah, and I always say sometimes we can make really quick decisions, but often we need to think about things. And I think that that is A really strong skill for success, being able to say, let me think about that. And whatever the time period is you need, whether it's five seconds or a day, you know, give me some time to think about that and let our. Let our brains do some great work. But often we have to ask for that. And we have to ask for that. Yeah, the extrovert typically is going to think out loud, and they often do their thinking in a more collaborative way with others, which, you know, neither way is right or wrong. It's just different.

David Hall [00:24:30]:
And so as an introvert, sometimes we just say, give me a moment to think about that, or I will call you tomorrow, or something like that.

Erin Treacy [00:24:38]:
I will go find out.

David Hall [00:24:39]:
Right.

Erin Treacy [00:24:40]:
Like, that's such a good answer to a question. And it actually helped me. Years ago, I was at a job and so I was in a lot of meetings with my boss, my boss's boss, and then their boss. So, you know, you've got quite the pipeline. And so he had started to become very frustrated with the two bosses, kind of between me and him. And they pulled me after the meeting. They're like, we don't understand. Why is he listening to you and not us? Because, you know, I'm multiple rungs down the list.

Erin Treacy [00:25:08]:
And it's the. I don't give him answers I don't know the answer to. And, you know, being an extrovert, they have a lot more tendency to want to please because. And they want to be seen. So they'll spout off an answer in a meeting, but it might not be the right answer, or it's not a fully researched answer, or it's not a fully known answer. Well, this particular boss had no room for, I sort of know the answer. I just think I know the answer. So I would go, I don't know the answer, but I'll find out and I'll come back to you.

Erin Treacy [00:25:45]:
And he loved that because there was full list of research of what went with why. This is my decision on why this will or won't work. And here's how I came to this. And it was like, okay, see, that's a real answer because it has data and proof and sources that go with it. It's not just a wing wing it answer. And so being able to say, I don't know, but I will find out. And I think introverts are much better sometimes, although they may say it very quietly or feel bad that that's the answer, but that's truly one of their successes that they should be very proud of.

David Hall [00:26:25]:
Yeah, and while we're talking, I'm just thinking, you know, often there's so many things to do, you know, and how do you gain clarity? But first, I want to go back to. I know you had a moment of burnout. Tell us about that.

Erin Treacy [00:26:42]:
It was a little hard. I didn't know at the time it was burnout. I was working in one of my restaurants. I had had mysterious illnesses that would last for weeks or months to doctors visits. Could never figure out any of them. And then one day, my right leg went numb on a cook line. Not a good place to not be able to stand up. Not a good place.

Erin Treacy [00:27:06]:
It's probably the most unsafe place over an open, flat grill. And my staff had to literally carry me off the line because I couldn't put any weight on my right leg without just excruciating pain. And what we learned is I had slipped a disc, and so it was pinching at a nerve, which was what the pain was when I went to move. But I also had severely compressed discs, and I actually have bone degeneration in those discs now because they had been compressed for so long. But in that fog and that haze of constantly running and constantly doing for everybody else, I knew I had back pain. So I'll just take another Tylenol, take an ibuprofen. I'll put on that lidocaine patch. It'll be fine.

Erin Treacy [00:27:52]:
And I ignored all of those different signs because I was so busy taking care of everybody around me, and I wasn't allowed. I was supposed to be the leader. I'm supposed to be the owner. I'm supposed to be all of these things. And so it really burned me out. I did not know that until it was still a few months before I got to that burnout. But I started to learn the mental health side, the physical side said, you cannot go back to a restaurant and stand on a concrete floor for 12 hours because of the back pain. And I was in chirotherapy, physical therapy and doctor's appointments every day because I could not sit up, sit down, stand up.

Erin Treacy [00:28:37]:
It was so painful. And through that process, because I had to pause, I had to sit at home. And technically, I couldn't sit. I had to lay because sitting compressed the discs more. So laying on my sides was where I was stuck a lot of the time. So now you're in. Okay, what do I do? How do I run a business from my couch? Restaurants aren't a work from home business.

David Hall [00:29:02]:
Right?

Erin Treacy [00:29:05]:
Be at a restaurant to run a restaurant. And so it was in those moments that you started to really even have time to think. I'd stayed so busy, I'd been on the treadmill at full blast for so long that my body. You know, you see them people run in the marathons, and you see them collapse at the end of the day. I was in that collapse, and they had to carry me off. And in that really came those quiet spaces, those, what do I do now? What do I want life to be? What do I. How do I deal with what my body is telling me? And that's when mental health kind of started to come in and burnout conversations started to come in. And it was pause, required thought, but also pause a loud thought.

Erin Treacy [00:29:54]:
So at first it was really uncomfortable to just think back in that, oh, wait, I have time to think through the entire process again. I'm not making no decisions on the fly because I have to. I'm now in a really quiet moment. And then it started to become more comfortable to sit in the moment. Right. And so it really take those minutes. Enjoy those minutes. You may only get two today because you're so busy, but start with two minutes of quiet.

Erin Treacy [00:30:27]:
Somehow today you can fit two minutes into even the busiest schedule. Somewhere there's two minutes, and then you can start to build from there. And so that was really a place I had to go for myself. But what I talk to a lot of people now who may be in early signs, or maybe they don't see the signs yet, or. I had. I had one lady at one point, she says, burnout is just one of those weak labels people use when they're too weak to function. That. That's not what burnout is.

Erin Treacy [00:30:58]:
Burnout is your brain literally has run the marathon and it is at full collapse. And it's just like that runner at the end that just can't do anymore. And that's where your brain is. And we have to have that quiet recovery time. Just like an athlete, your brain has to recover. It needs minutes to do those things sometimes. Like, for me, it needed a lot more than a couple of minutes. It needed excessive days to be able to get there.

Erin Treacy [00:31:31]:
And so trying to help people find those. You're in that fog. You're on the treadmill, you're running this marathon you can't get out of. How do you start to find your minutes before you get to that space?

David Hall [00:31:45]:
Yeah. So what else would you say to the person that is feeling that way, that is feeling overwhelmed right now?

Erin Treacy [00:31:52]:
So when you're in that overwhelmed, if you kind of go, I've had those mysterious illnesses that the doctor says everything comes out completely normal. All of your labs are normal, all of your scans are normal. We don't know what's wrong. That's you're in those phases. If you feel yourself starting to maybe snap or get a little snippy with people for really the smallest things that are wrong in the day, those are starting to be those signs of burnout your brain isn't able to process the muscle fatigue in your brain is happening. So you need those minutes. So I start to talk to people about your two minute timeout. We used it as a punishment for your kids.

Erin Treacy [00:32:34]:
So you don't want to talk about timeout, but you need a timeout for yourself. And as an adult, you need to put yourself in timeout. The best place I have found for adults to do a two minute timeout for themselves is in the car and either in your driveway before you pull out to go to work, if you are not the carpool parent and you are the only person in the car, do it there. Put your phone down for that, that you know, you're in the morning, you've gotten dressed, you're in the car, put the phone down. If you have to have the radio on for just a little bit of background noise, but I'm not really listening to it and just maybe it's too quiet. And that's where you kind of think for self today. Not your to do list, not what's on your calendar, but for you. What do I want for me today? You know what? I haven't messaged my friend Chrissy in a really long time.

Erin Treacy [00:33:29]:
I want to connect with her today. I want to connect with a person in the office today. I'm going to treat myself to a milkshake this afternoon. Something in those two minutes that's, that's for you and, and think about what they are and you know, once you kind of hit it, you're like, okay, look, that, that was for me today. It may be the smallest thing, but again, it's not a to do list item. It's not something to add to the long list. It's something you, you get for you. And like I said, that's why a quick text is good.

Erin Treacy [00:34:02]:
You know, I want to reconnect with that friend or I want to. I forgot to tell Sally thank you for dropping those cookies off at the house the other day. That's what I'm going to send Sally that text and start to have those minutes. You will find that you start to build them and Then you build yourself into, wait, I'm going to do something for myself next week. I'm going to sign up for that crafting class or that walking club or, or whatever. And then you start to be able to build yourself more of those spaces. But you can find two minutes. Your driveway is a great one if you are the carpool parent.

Erin Treacy [00:34:35]:
The parking lot at work, you put the car in park, put everything down for two minutes, have that same thought, and then go into work. And one, it's because it's done super early in the day, but you leave yourself the whole day to do whatever it was for yourself that you picked out that. That morning. Right. Like that one thing for me today, I'm going to close my door for 20 minutes at lunch and eat my lunch or, you know, whatever those things are. You start to really be able to think, how do I, how do I me? Because the entire rest of the day is about all the others.

David Hall [00:35:15]:
Yeah, for sure. And along the same lines, something I've learned, and I'm sure you've had experiences with this, too. It's, you can't do everything. And I've tried. It sounds like you've tried to. How do. How do leaders gain clarity? How do you help leaders gain clarity on what's most important?

Erin Treacy [00:35:35]:
So I use the acronym when every morning. It's when. And that's what's important now. And so that's. That's the win. Right. If I can figure out what's important now. And so you start to then figure out, I don't need to, to chair that committee, or I don't need to say, I'll do it myself, I don't.

Erin Treacy [00:35:56]:
And so we start to do those, and we start to assess the day. Where's the win in the day, which is what's important right now, right this minute. Because life changed yesterday somehow, some way, it may be small, it may be large, but life changed. So we now have to pick out the win. And then we start to kind of assess the day. Do I need to solve all of these problems or do I need to empower people, people to be able to solve problems? Do I need to spend my time sorting through that desk that's a mess, that's got all the manuals on it, or do I need to make sure somebody's assigned to do that? And so you start to pick out, I don't need to say yes to another charity that is asking me to do something. I'm allowed to say no, because that's not what's important right now. And it allows you to kind of make those assessments and go, wait, no, I don't need to do that.

Erin Treacy [00:36:58]:
I am allowed to say no, or I'm allowed to assign it, or I'm allowed to just completely let it go. So when we're doing those assessments, that's kind of the best way to start because you can work through each of those problems.

David Hall [00:37:11]:
Yeah, I like that when I'm going to use that. And so at what point did you decide to become a coach through all your experiences? Was this right after the restaurant, or

Erin Treacy [00:37:23]:
is there other things right after the restaurant? I did some restaurant consulting work for a little bit so that I didn't have to be in a restaurant, but I just run them for 10 years. So there's a lot of things that I knew. And kind of through that and through kind of moving out of my own burnout and kind of taking care of myself in that time in the afternoon, it really was what I missed the most and what I love to do the most was work with all of those people in the business. Teaching a college kid how to talk to their boss, how to manage stress, how to do a lot of these things that we talk about. Because you started to realize nobody else is teaching them. They just expect them to do whatever it is we expect people to do. And I really miss that. And I knew other people that have small businesses like I did needed to hear, you can't do everything, and that's okay, so that they can continue to find success.

Erin Treacy [00:38:26]:
So if I could speak to what happened to me and use that business background and experience, I can continue to kind of coach people, because that's what I did inside the business. I coached all of those people, and that's what I love doing is. And then seeing them come back. And Aaron, I. You know, that thing you taught me about, So I was able to not do this, but I look at where I got over here because of it, or this is a tool. And how I communicated with somebody inside a conflict at work, and it totally worked. And I got them on board, and they're totally doing what I needed done, and that conflict helped. And so you see them start to resolve those problems on their own.

Erin Treacy [00:39:12]:
And that's all of the success in the world to me. Because, you see, they're set up for success. Oh, my gosh, look at where they may end up. The sky's the limit because they have those tools now to go forward.

David Hall [00:39:27]:
Yeah. What are some of the most common things that your clients are bringing to you?

Erin Treacy [00:39:31]:
I think especially now, you know, there's so many books and things out there that are how to be productive and, and, you know, they're, they're great in theory and they teach a lot of productivity and how to manage your day and how to schedule your stuff. And they're like, so I have all the things. My calendar is all color coded to the important stuff, and it's full and it's busy, but I don't, I don't know what. And I'm exhausted. And so those are all those early signs you could be moving towards burnout, but you feel like you've done all of the things because you read the books, right? But they aren't actually having some of the conversations. And so we start to, you know, let's evaluate your calendar. Let's, let's see how you, you did great in scheduling, but did you over schedule? I had a lady come to me and she was just, she was exhausted and she was so frustrated at the end of her day. She's like, I'm constantly interrupted.

Erin Treacy [00:40:29]:
I don't get anything done. And so we went and looked at her calendar and she had every 15 minutes of her day plotted out. Like, this is the 15 minutes for email, and this is the 15 minutes for return phone calls, and this is the 15 minutes For. And. And her whole day looked like that in addition to all of her meetings. So there was not a minute from the time she woke up to the time she went to bed that was not accounted for. And it actually made it worse because people are going to call you that don't know that that's not the time. Time for them to call.

David Hall [00:41:03]:
Right?

Erin Treacy [00:41:04]:
Or people are going to come into your office because they don't know that this is not the window you have allotted for people to come into your office. And the kids are maybe going to ask you questions or the school or that club that you do stuff with. And so she felt constantly off kilter all day long because she had so overly scheduled. So we went back in and, okay, how do we do this in a way that makes sense, makes more sense to you? This is a half an hour in the day. You're not answering a phone call, you're not answering a text. This is your 30 minutes today to think. I don't care what you think about. I don't care if it's just catching up on your stuff, but, you know, and let's leave some broader windows for some of the other things.

Erin Treacy [00:41:50]:
And so we're over scheduling and we don't Know how to back out of those things and kind of talk about it in real life. And I think it's things that we're all doing. It doesn't matter what level that you are in. It's just you. We have been taught, we schedule. That's what you do. It goes on a calendar and that's what we do. And so it's almost throwing everybody off because that calendar never works the way that calendar is supposed to work.

Erin Treacy [00:42:19]:
There's no breath in the calendar. Right. If you went all day, when did you think? When did you get creative? When did you have fun? When did you laugh? Like, what I mean is laughter on the calendar, you know, and that's part of the problem.

David Hall [00:42:37]:
Yeah. And I definitely live by my calendar. But you have to leave some flexibility in there. There are unplanned things and sometimes those unplanned things are some of the greatest opportunities. Maybe a connection with the team member or, you know, or some, or somebody and you just have to leave room. I really think everything needs to go on my calendar, otherwise it's not going to get done. But you have to leave that flexibility because there's so many unplanned things and some of them are really great opportunities

Erin Treacy [00:43:08]:
and those are the best. It's all of the connections with people. Right. You've blocked out connection completely. That's the problem. So, yeah, you need those windows because that's. I mean, there were times at the restaurant I just feel like I just need a breath. It's a really long day.

Erin Treacy [00:43:27]:
And they would laugh because I would go walk the parking lot, I'd leave the phone inside the restaurant because it's just, I just needed a few minutes of clarity or a few minutes by myself of not all of the noise. So if that's so over scheduled, it's a great time to have a conversation with an employee. Hey, why don't you go on a walk with me? We need. Not like you need a lot of steps to get in when you work at a restaurant, but sometimes that was how I employed somebody out the door, hey, why don't we go get in a couple of steps by walking the parking lot. And people just look at me because, you know, we're at 4, 700,000 steps in the day. But.

David Hall [00:44:03]:
Right.

Erin Treacy [00:44:05]:
But they are, they're the best opportunities. And if you're not open, then how are you going to find them? How are you going to have them? So. And that's part of that. That lesson too is you.

David Hall [00:44:18]:
You.

Erin Treacy [00:44:18]:
I max myself out if I have More than so many meetings in a day. That's it. We're, that there are no more meetings going on this particular day because you can't think, you can't have time to walk through each of the things that you may need to just get done to be prepared for the meeting.

David Hall [00:44:37]:
Yeah. So one last question for you that's related to what we're talking about. What have you learned about managing your energy?

Erin Treacy [00:44:45]:
Oh, so when I'm, it's, it's that it's maxing out meetings in a day because, you know, if, if you're doing more than maybe three, four, it depends on what you do. But for me, if I'm out past three meetings a day, there's not space to be ready for the next meeting. So that's one of the things to kind of make that energy. But somehow here in the US we really are, you know, 70 hour work weeks and it's like the badge of pride. I'm really proud that I can go I, I 36 hours this week and I was probably more productive than the person that's doing 70. It's being able. PEOPLE LAUGH I will put my phone on, do not disturb and silence it and sit and get something done because if I'm not got all the crazy around me so that, you know, maximizes my energy. I can focus on this thing, I can see it all the way through and then I can go out and connect with people, however that's happening.

Erin Treacy [00:45:48]:
But it's being able to have those spaces to say, no, no, I'm not available 247 because I'm not supposed to be to anyone. Like, I love my kids, I love my husband, I love my family, but they don't need me 247 because if they fall a little bit, it's okay, they'll be okay and so will I. They need that to learn resilience. I need space to do the things so that I don't fall because of resilience. The team that you work with needs to not always have you at the beck and call. That's, that's, it's not a badge of honor. And so being able to protect your spaces, so that's one of the things. No, no, this is the end of my day.

Erin Treacy [00:46:33]:
I'm putting it down, I'm done.

David Hall [00:46:36]:
Yeah. And you know, we can't be available at all times to all people, but also we need to help people understand that that's a benefit to them because as, as I've tried to be available at all times to all People, I'm not as good. You know, it's what we're talking about. It's, it's allowing myself time to think, time to recharge, all of that. So we're better for people when we're not available to them at all times.

Erin Treacy [00:47:06]:
We absolutely are. I even talk when I'm talking to my teams was like, I may send you a text outside of hours. Right. Totally get it. I'm not expecting you to write me back and I need you all to know that I don't expect it. It's that it was in my brain and if I don't write it down, if I don't send the text, I'll forget it. But it just, it's so. It's out there.

Erin Treacy [00:47:30]:
I know it's 7:30. I do not expect an answer, but you are ready in the morning to read that text and go, Aaron's going to ask me about this at some point in the day but because I got the, the like if I didn't put the thought it wasn't going to happen. I know this about myself but also empower them because they've learned I put that balance on me but. And I expect them to be open to put that balance for them and so they can text me at 10 o' clock at night. Totally understand that may happen. They're not going to get a response.

David Hall [00:48:07]:
Yeah. And that's good to set up those expectations as far as like I do some of the same thing with email but you can schedule it. So it's nice you can have that thought at 10 o' clock at night, but schedule it for 8 o' clock the next day which, which could be really effective. Aaron, this has been a wonderful conversation. Is there anything else you want to add today?

Erin Treacy [00:48:27]:
I think we always need to remember we're human, we're people. And anything you start you may not get right the first time. Failure is a good thing. But restart tomorrow and that's where the great best part of resilience comes in. It's not a New Year's resolution that you're making. You're starting small. Do something little. Take the two minutes and if you don't get two minutes tomorrow but you did it today, do it again the next day.

Erin Treacy [00:48:52]:
It'll be fine. You'll get there.

David Hall [00:48:54]:
Absolutely. And last, where can people find out more about you and the great work you're doing?

Erin Treacy [00:49:00]:
So I'm on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and TikTok. Coach Aaron Tracy on all of those and then I am online where you can also get my blog I do every week and that's aarontracycoaching.com and so you can find me anywhere. And I answer all of the messages that come in because I want to make sure I meet people where they are. And so I always like for folks to know that I'm the person responding, not, not bots nor team members. That's a, that's a me. And I take that on because I want people to be able to go, okay, I know who I'm talking to on the other side of this message.

David Hall [00:49:37]:
Yeah, that's great. So I will add all that to the show notes and thanks again. Thanks. Thank you so much for joining me. I appreciate you. I hope you take the time to explore other episodes and learn from other amazing guests. Remember, if you're interested in getting to know yourself better, there is now a free type finder personality assessment on the Quiet and Strong website. This free assessment will give you a brief report including the four letter Myers Briggs Code.

David Hall [00:50:04]:
I'll add a link in the show notes and I'd love to connect with you. Reach out to davidandstrong.com or check out the quietandstrong.com website which includes blog posts and links to social media for Quiet and Strong and much more. Send me topics or guests you would like to see on the show. So many great things about being an introvert and so we need those to be understood. Get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.