Ep 289 - Why Introversion Is a Strength with Host David Hall

Have you ever wondered why embracing your natural personality can lead to lasting confidence and authentic success? 

In this episode of the Quiet And Strong Podcast, host David Hall explores why introversion is not just a difference but a genuine strength. Listeners will discover the fundamentals of personality assessments like Myers-Briggs and CliftonStrengths, uncover the real meaning behind introversion and extroversion, and learn how self-awareness becomes the foundation for personal and professional growth.

Key takeaways include understanding the four Myers-Briggs dichotomies, how to identify and leverage your unique strengths, practical strategies introverts can use to thrive in areas like public speaking, and the importance of appreciating both your own gifts and those of others. This episode is essential listening for anyone who wants to turn quiet strengths into powerful assets, foster better relationships, and build a path to success that feels true to who you are.

Tune in, discover your strengths, and be strong.

Episode Link: QuietandStrong.com/289

Transcript

David Hall [00:00:08]:
Hello and welcome to episode 289 of the Quiet and Strong podcast, especially for introverts. I'm your host, David Hall, and the creator of quietandstrong.com. This is a weekly podcast dedicated to understanding the strengths and needs of introverts, along with strategies for success. Introversion is not something to fix. But to be embraced. Normally we will air each episode on a Monday. Be sure to subscribe on your favorite platform, leave a review or a rating. That would mean a lot to me and help others find the show.

David Hall [00:00:41]:
Tell a friend about the podcast and help get the word out there that introversion is a beautiful thing. And so this week I gave a presentation on personality strengths. Oh, it was so fun. I had a great time. There's still so much misunderstanding about who we are and our uniqueness. There's far too much comparison either. Why can't I be more like him? Or why can't she be more like me? And that's where my story with strengths starts. You know, ever since I was a kid, I've been a deep thinker.

David Hall [00:01:13]:
I was a kid with a great imagination, but I was misunderstood most of my life. I did think something was wrong with me. Why couldn't I be more at ease in a social situation like, like that person? Or why can't I be a great public speaker and not get nervous like that person? So I had a long journey in personal development and self-awareness. You know, I, uh, got a bachelor's degree in psychology and then soon after a master's degree in counseling. I was learning a lot about our personalities and feeling far more comfortable with who I was. But it was really some professional development at work that made all the difference. I got certified to administer the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, also known as the MBTI. We'll get into that a little bit more today, but in a nutshell, it identifies different factors in our personalities, with one factor being introversion or extroversion.

David Hall [00:02:16]:
And in this workshop, the facilitator said, Introverts think and then speak while extroverts generally think out loud. This was a light bulb moment for me. I do that. I think, and then I speak, you know, often just sharing what I think is most important while my extroverted friend or colleague may be sharing just about everything. So I realized I'm an introvert. And of course, there are many other powerful things within this training about introversion and extroversion that really helped me learn that I was an introvert. And, you know, there's many other, you know, readings and listening to different things that really helped me come to this realization. And around this same time, I also got certified to administer what Gallup then called StrengthsQuest.

David Hall [00:03:11]:
Now it's called CliftonStrengths. And this one in a nutshell, the assessment identifies 34 themes of talent and gives you your top 5 strengths. And the reason why they give you your top 5, it's on purpose. Because while we all have weaknesses that we have to deal with, the idea behind CliftonStrengths is that our strengths come to us very naturally and we will get much more outta life by focusing on our areas of strength. Rather than giving all of our focus to our weaknesses. And of course, this assessment doesn't correlate directly with introversion and extroversion. I have found that this assessment together with the MBTI were very powerful for me. You know, I came away knowing I am an introvert and I have great strengths that come to me very naturally.

David Hall [00:04:03]:
And I also realized That needs come with our strengths and gifts. So you too have gifts and strengths, and you need to figure out what those are. So understanding myself and the fact that I usually think before speaking, do best with some preparation, and I need some time alone, it's made a huge difference. Well, I don't want to be alone all the time. I don't think anybody wants to be alone all the time. I do need time alone for various things. I'm now very confident. You know, I'm confident doing this podcast and giving presentations.

David Hall [00:04:41]:
I no longer get nervous, which is amazing because I used to. You know, at this work— at this workshop I was doing, there was another presenter and she was telling me that she was so nervous. And I was happy to realize that I no longer was. But part of the point of all of this is you can learn a path to success by understanding your strengths and getting better and enjoying public speaking as an example. And there's so many other things by understanding your strengths, you can be better, more authentic. And I want that same confidence for this presenter that I talked to. And if you need it for you. So our personalities are very stable over time.

David Hall [00:05:28]:
Part of what is behind these assessments is that we're not going to change our personalities, but we can excel when we embrace the gifts of our personalities. Another big epiphany was watching my 3 kids grow up and develop. My wife is an introvert and we have 1 introverted child and 2 extroverts. And we raised them basically the same, but they're all very different. They each come with their own personalities and gifts. They're all amazing, but in their own ways. So self-awareness is key to success and being authentic to who you are. Fake it till you make it is terrible advice.

David Hall [00:06:11]:
Have you tried it? I have, and it doesn't work. Trying to be someone else you're not. It's not only very draining, it's not effective. And then along with self-awareness, you need to bring others along. It's not enough just to have self-awareness for you and knowing your strengths. You need to be able to articulate your strengths and your needs, and you need to know strengths and needs of others in your life. You know, we need to have more presentations. I give presentations and workshops to build awareness of the gifts that we each bring.

David Hall [00:06:44]:
Your gifts are needed. And we're talking about personality types such as introversion, extroversion. Neither is good or bad, but both serve a vital purpose. So again, I like both the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator and CliftonStrengths. They provide different pieces of information. Let's dive into a little bit more on the Myers-Briggs. And of course, we're just gonna scratch the surface. And the idea is that you'll keep learning more about an assessment like this and how you can really discover your strengths if you haven't already.

David Hall [00:07:23]:
And even if you have, these are things that we can continue to learn throughout our lifetimes. So Myers-Briggs type tests, meaning that there's, there's lots of versions out there. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is the official, you know, That's their company, the Myers-Briggs Company's test, but there's other versions that you can take out there. Some are free, some are paid, and they're personality assessment tools to understand an individual's natural personality preferences, such as how they perceive the world, process information, and interact with others. Key aspects include identifying preferences. It assesses various dimensions such as introversion versus extroversion. Thinking versus feeling, sensing versus intuition, judging versus perceiving. I'll explain these.

David Hall [00:08:13]:
It provides a framework for self-understanding. And people often misunderstand the word preference in this context. For example, I have a preference for introversion. It doesn't mean I chose it, but rather it's a very natural way. It's my natural go-to of living and experiencing the world. I tune inward more often than not. Yeah, of course I pay attention to what's going on around me, but I spend a lot of time in my head, in my imagination, and it's a good thing. Some great ideas and innovations come from our imaginations.

David Hall [00:08:54]:
So these tests also highlight strengths. It helps us to recognize our unique strengths and needs. Which informs strategies for success in professional and personal life. And I can't say this enough, your strategy for success is going to be most effective when you base it on your strengths and not try to copy someone else's path to success. You can learn from other people, absolutely, but you're going to learn most from people that are similar to you and, you know, successful people that are similar. And then we can build connection by understanding both our type and the types of others. People can improve communication and build better relationships. So it's intended to be a tool for self-awareness rather than just to label or limit individuals.

David Hall [00:09:44]:
So it's, you're not putting yourself in a box. You're just understanding yourself so you can probably free yourself from that box. I definitely— getting to know myself has really set me free. And I've talked to so many other people that have been set free by getting to know their strengths and not trying to be somebody else. So this 4-letter personality framework categorizes personality preferences into 4 pairs, dichotomies, resulting in 8 letters. These preferences describe how people naturally orient themselves in the world. For example, I am an INTJ, which briefly means I'm an organized introvert who loves big picture thinking and logic. And today we're just going to scratch the surface and hopefully you want more.

David Hall [00:10:39]:
There are many versions and ways to get this 4-letter personality type. And we do have a free typefinder assessment on the Quiet Strong website. So let's talk a little bit more about these 4 dichotomies. Introversion versus extroversion. Of course, we talk a lot about this one on the show. Introverts tend to turn inward more often than not, processing their experiencing thoughts and impressions internally before sharing them. They often prefer time for reflection and may be more comfortable with depth over constant external stimulation. Extroverts tend to have a more outward focus, often engaging with people, activity, and the environment as they think through things.

David Hall [00:11:27]:
Often brainstorming with another person can be very powerful for them. And so there's many aspects to our personality. This podcast is focused on introversion, extroversion, because there's a 50/50 split in the population and it's still so misunderstood. But of course, no introvert is exactly the same. So we also talk about other personality factors. And in this case, we're talking about, you know, the 4 letters from the Myers-Briggs type tests. And then there's intuition versus sensing. This describes how you can, how you take in information.

David Hall [00:12:04]:
Sensing tends to focus on current facts, concrete details. Practical procedures. Intuitive types tend to focus on patterns, future possibilities, and the big picture. Thinking versus feeling— this describes how you make decisions. Thinking types tend to use objective criteria, data, and logic to make decisions. Feeling types tend to consider personal values and how their decisions will impact others. Judging versus perceiving. This describes how you organize your life and deal with the outside world.

David Hall [00:12:41]:
It does not mean that judging types are judgmental or critical of others. Judging types prefer structure, planning, closure to feel settled. Perceiving types often prefer to keep their options open, remain flexible, and adapt to new information in the moment. So those are the definitions. Let's do scenarios for each just to kind of give you a better sense of how these are, where you might see yourself, where you might see somebody else that might be, you know, your opposite and how it's a good thing. We need the different strengths. So using these preferences can help you see why people might approach the same situation or problem. In a very different way than you, but equally valid.

David Hall [00:13:31]:
So let's start with introversion, extroversion. In preparing for a large networking event, an introvert may prefer, may prefer to identify a few meaningful conversations, prepare thoughtful questions in advance, and take time between interactions to reflect and perhaps recharge. In the same situation, an extrovert may be eager to circulate, start conversations with many new people and make connections quickly. So in this scenario, the introvert brings the strength of intentional relationship building and the ability to create depth in one-on-one conversations, while the extrovert brings the strength of initiating contact, creating momentum, and quickly expanding their network. All right. Let's talk about intuition. This one starts with an N. Because the I for introversion is already taken.

David Hall [00:14:24]:
So intuition is N and sensing is S. In a meeting, an intuitive person may focus on emerging patterns, future possibilities, and a new vision or way of doing things. In the same meeting, another may focus on the current facts, procedures, resources, and the specific steps needed to implement the plan. Do you see yourself in there? And, you know, honestly, without understanding, these 2 people might actually drive each other crazy if they don't understand why they're both needed. The first perspective brings the strength of innovation and long-term planning, long-term vision, a visionary, while the second brings practical clarity and the ability to turn ideas into workable action. We need both. Let's give a couple scenarios of thinking versus feeling. So when choosing between 2 options, a thinking-oriented person may compare cost, performance data, objective criteria to select the most effective option.

David Hall [00:15:33]:
In the same decision, a feeling-oriented person may consider how each option will affect others. Aiming for an outcome that aligns with the shared values and the feelings of others. The thinking-oriented approach brings the strength of objective analysis and consistent decision-making, while the feeling-oriented approach brings the strength of considering people's needs, values, and the human aspect or the human impact of their decision. Again, We need both. Without an understanding of personality differences, the thinking-oriented person may see the feeling-oriented person as overly emotional or less objective, while the feeling-oriented person may experience the thinking person as cold, insensitive, or unconcerned about people. So that understanding is critical. We need both. We need both.

David Hall [00:16:35]:
And now judging and perceiving. And this example hits home for me, literally. One spouse or partner may feel most comfortable planning the weekend, agreeing on a budget, and finishing household tasks early so they can relax with a sense of closure. The other spouse may prefer to keep the weekend open. Decide plans in the moment and remain flexible if the new option or unexpected invitation arises. The first spouse or partner brings the strength of organization, follow-through, creating a sense of stability, while the second brings flexibility, openness to new possibilities, and an ability to adapt when plans change. So Like I said, this, this hits home for me. I'm the judging, or again, it's not judgmental, it's organized person.

David Hall [00:17:31]:
And my wife is the perceiving type. And we're a lot alike. The other 3 letters for us are the same. She's an INTP. I'm an INTJ. So I'd like to think I bring a little order to her life. She might disagree if she was standing here. Well, she brings a sense of calm.

David Hall [00:17:51]:
To me, we learned early on that we're not going to change each other and that we would both be unhappy if we did try. Instead, we've come to appreciate the ways our differences complement each other. We're very happy together. We've been married a long time, and I think we're really good for each other, but we have to recognize our strengths that we each bring, knowing that they're gifts. You're not going to change the other person, but you sure can bring out your gifts, help them bring out their gifts. So we all have different gifts, and the key is to embrace and celebrate those differences. So I often get this question, and it came again up again during this presentation this week. Do our personalities change? Short answer is Our core personalities tend to remain fairly stable over our lifetimes.

David Hall [00:18:50]:
Now, does that mean we can't change? No, we absolutely can change. We can grow, mature, learn new skills, and become more adaptable. But we do not— we're not going to become a different type of person personality-wise. But we grow the most in our areas of strength. In our areas where we bring gifts. The good news is growth does not require us to reject who we are. In fact, the most sustainable growth often begins when we honor our natural preferences rather than trying to force ourselves into someone else's style. An introvert does not need to become an extrovert to be successful, visible, connected, or influential.

David Hall [00:19:35]:
But an introvert can absolutely expand how they engage with the world in ways that feel authentic and workable. For example, we talked a little bit about public speaking. An introvert who finds public speaking draining may not enjoy stepping in front of a large audience and speaking spontaneously. That's probably the key word there, spontaneously. Rather than avoiding the opportunity, or trying to imitate the most animated speaker in the room. The introvert can prepare thoroughly, build in time to reflect on key points, perhaps rehearse in advance, and use a clear structure to guide the presentation. They may also allow time afterward to decompress and recharge. It's not avoiding growth.

David Hall [00:20:24]:
It's embracing introversion while stretching in a purposeful and authentic way Use being yourself. I love public speaking, but I had to learn how to prepare and plan and plan for my energy before and after. We can develop skills within our natural preferences. We can learn to speak up, lead meetings, initiate conversations, make decisions quickly, and become more flexible when circumstances change. The goal is not to become somebody else. The goal is to become A fuller, more capable version of you. Another question I get often, and it came up again this week in this presentation, can I be somewhere in the middle of introversion and extroversion? Some call this an introvert. My answer is no.

David Hall [00:21:14]:
And I tend not to use the label introvert because most people really lean consistently towards introversion or extroversion. As a natural preference. And also introversion and extroversion. Can't say this enough. It's not a measure of social skill, of confidence, of ability, or even how much someone enjoys being with other people. An introvert can be engaging, highly social, effective speakers. Extroverts can enjoy solitude and need time alone from time to time. The distinction is more about how we process or experience And orient our attention most of the time.

David Hall [00:21:55]:
Introverts are likely to process internally. They often think before speaking, prefer some time to reflect, and may appreciate preparation before meetings, presentations, speeches. They may also need regular quiet to focus, to plan, to reset. Extroverts are more likely to process externally. They may think out loud most of the time, discover their ideas through conversation, feel comfortable responding in the moment. They often enjoy and seek out fairly regular interaction with people, activity, and the world around them. The more useful question is not, can I be both, but what occurs most naturally for me Most often for me, it's not so much about the label. So many people, uh, I'm an introvert, I'm an extrovert, or I'm an ambivert.

David Hall [00:22:52]:
It's not— those are helpful to know. Well, I don't think ambivert is, but introvert and extrovert are helpful to know. But you really have to break down what does that mean for me? Yeah, I do think internally most of the time, so I'm going to do my best for this meeting if I prepare ahead of time and things like that. So it's not so much about the label, but where are my strengths? What are my needs? And what is my best path to success? So be the amazing person you are and use your understanding of strengths to bring out the best, the very best in others. Thank you so much for joining. I appreciate you. Hope you take the time to listen to some other episodes and learn from amazing guests. And If you're interested in getting to know yourself better, especially about the things we've been talking about today, there is a free Typefinder personality assessment on the quietandstrong.com website.

David Hall [00:23:46]:
And this assessment will give you a brief report, including the 4-letter Myers-Briggs code. And I will add a link to the show notes, or you can just go to the Quiet and Strong website. I'd love to hear from you. Reach out to david@quietandstrong.com or through the quietandstrong.com website. And let's keep this conversation going. As always, get to know your introverted strengths and needs and be strong.